May 2011 Moms

Why must showers be torture?

I hate how some people view showers (baby or bridal) as a chance to embarass the couple/parents-to-be. 

I had a shower on Saturday and DH was invited because husbands were going to watch basketball in the basement.  DH is a bit shy/reserved and doesn't like being in front of groups and this group of women at the shower were women from my hometown and DH has only met them 2 or 3 times so he came with the promise that he wouldn't have to do anything with the shower in front of these women he doesn't know.

We get there and all of the men are sent to the basement but except DH.  The hostess sat him in the middle of the circle of women, put a bib on him, and made him guess the baby food flavor.  Then they made him stay for the rest of the shower while the men were in the basement.

I felt so horrible for DH!  I was telling my friend this story this morning and she got a little sassy with me and told me that we should just be grateful to get the gifts and that is certainly a small price to pay for presents.  She told me that seeing people get embarrassed is the only thing people get out of attending showers and it is our job to go with it.

Really?  That is the only purpose of a shower?  If that is the case then let's skip the shower because I can afford those items on my own without having my husband being ridiculed the whole time!

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Re: Why must showers be torture?

  • There is no way in HELL that my husband would have sat through that. He would have just gotten up and said no way I don't think so. Your husband is a trooper for sitting through that but I would be pissed!
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  • Yeah, that is not cool. It was bad enough that they made me wear a stupid hat at mine. Honestly, when it's my turn to plan a shower, I want to make it an actual fun experience for as many people as possible. Embarrassing my friends isn't nice, presents or not.
  • Your DH is a saint!  Mine is a great guy and a good sport about things, but he would have said F this and left.  I have never been to a shower where anyone was intentionally humiliated like that...an embarrassing story during a toast maybe, but not the whole shower!  DH needs a 'fun day' for that! 
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  • Wow, I have never heard of such a thing....that is NOT normal for showers.  You are supposed to have a fun and enjoyable celebration with your friends and family.  Putting your husband through that just adds a whole different tone to the party...what a shame.  I can't believe he sat through it all!

  • tlxh7tlxh7 member
    Ugh, how terrible for both of you!  And your friend?  Wrong.  So wrong.  Seriously, every shower should be about celebrating and making the guest (or guests) of honor feel special and loved.  Why would putting them in a bib (or other various shower games) make them feel that way?
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  • Wtf is wrong with people?  Never in my life have I been to a shower or party like this and would never expect something like this to happen.  Your "friend" is an a$$ for suggesting this behavior is appropriate and that it should be expected.  Some of the stories I read on here are just beyond my comprehension...I don't know where people get off thinking is cool to do such things.  Sorry your DH had to go through that. :(
  • I completely disagree with your friend and I think it was incredibly rude for her to say that.  There is no way in the world my husband would have sat through that and there is no way that I would have allowed it.

    Give your hubby a hug for being such a nice guy.

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  • imageyzgal247:
    There is no way in HELL that my husband would have sat through that. He would have just gotten up and said no way I don't think so. Your husband is a trooper for sitting through that but I would be pissed!

    My DH would not have sat through that either. He would have given me a kiss told me to have fun and gone down to watch basketball with the guys. Your DH certainly is a trooper, especially if he is shy! I would have felt terrible for him.

  • That really stinks!  I'm so sorry for your hubby.  He really deserves a special treat of some sort - for my hubby that would be chocolate lava cakes!
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  • Wow, I've never been to a shower where they've tried to embarass the bride/husband/mom/dad, unless you count opening lingerie at a bridal shower, but it's always been tasteful stuff.  What weird circle does your friend run with?
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  • imageyzgal247:
    There is no way in HELL that my husband would have sat through that. He would have just gotten up and said no way I don't think so. Your husband is a trooper for sitting through that but I would be pissed!

    DH wouldn't have had the courage to get up and walk away; I would've been the one dragging him downstairs and giving the hostess a very nasty look.  That's so rude!   

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  • That is RIDICULOUS!  The purpose of a baby shower is NOT to embarrass the parents-to-be, it is supposed to be a celebration of the new baby.  I would have been so pissed if that had happened to me or my DH. 
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  • No way in hell would my husband have played along with that or would I have allowed for it to happen.  I don't care how rude or whatever it would have looked like, that is absurd.  But then again, I have no problems telling people no when they attempt to do those kind of embarassing games with me.  I just play the not fun person who is not doing it.
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  • imagepinkpear:

     I was telling my friend this story this morning and she got a little sassy with me and told me that we should just be grateful to get the gifts and that is certainly a small price to pay for presents.  She told me that seeing people get embarrassed is the only thing people get out of attending showers and it is our job to go with it.

    Really?  That is the only purpose of a shower?  If that is the case then let's skip the shower because I can afford those items on my own without having my husband being ridiculed the whole time!

    This was on the top ten lists of reasons I told my mother/friends I would not be having a shower. I can and did pay for all the items and didn't have to "be thankful" or be made fun of.

    People like to lure you into the baby/bridal shower under the guise of a celebration, it's just an opportunity to make fun of you... ritual hazing imho 

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  • imagepinkpear:

    I was telling my friend this story this morning and she got a little sassy with me and told me that we should just be grateful to get the gifts and that is certainly a small price to pay for presents.  She told me that seeing people get embarrassed is the only thing people get out of attending showers and it is our job to go with it.

    Well we know exactly what to do for HER shower.

    Lets play the guess how much weight fatty has put on game.
    Daddy gets dressed up like a baby and made to eat baby food.
    HUGE naked baby (or just generally embarrassing) pics of mama and daddy to be.
    And just for added fun lets make a list of ways they will probably ruin their LO's life, unintentionally of course.

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  • imagepinkpear:

    She told me that seeing people get embarrassed is the only thing people get out of attending showers and it is our job to go with it.

    Oh FFS. That's ridiculous!

    Sorry your DH had to be embarrassed like that.

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  • imageyzgal247:
    There is no way in HELL that my husband would have sat through that. He would have just gotten up and said no way I don't think so. Your husband is a trooper for sitting through that but I would be pissed!

    Yeah, there is no way my husband would have sat through that. I dont mind people measuring my belly or whatever, but thats ridiculous!. I'm so sorry for your husband. A shower is not there to embarrass the pregnant lady/couple. They already feel crappy enough.  

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  • imagetheaustins05:
    imagepinkpear:

    I was telling my friend this story this morning and she got a little sassy with me and told me that we should just be grateful to get the gifts and that is certainly a small price to pay for presents.  She told me that seeing people get embarrassed is the only thing people get out of attending showers and it is our job to go with it.

    Well we know exactly what to do for HER shower.

    Lets play the guess how much weight fatty has put on game.
    Daddy gets dressed up like a baby and made to eat baby food.
    HUGE naked baby (or just generally embarrassing) pics of mama and daddy to be.
    And just for added fun lets make a list of ways they will probably ruin their LO's life, unintentionally of course.

    I love you.

     

    I'll bring the scale.

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  • imagepinkpear:

    I felt so horrible for DH!  I was telling my friend this story this morning and she got a little sassy with me and told me that we should just be grateful to get the gifts and that is certainly a small price to pay for presents.  She told me that seeing people get embarrassed is the only thing people get out of attending showers and it is our job to go with it.

     

    F that! She's nuts.  

  • That is NOT NORMAL. Your H is a saint for putting up with that. The whole point of a shower is to celebrate your LO coming into the world, not to make fun of mom/dad/baby/etc. That friend who told you that's what showers are for...you should have told her to STFU.
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