Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: BF in public = weird
It's really not us but you. You stated your opinion and got flamed for it. Let it be and move on.
Also.... where is the "youRE going to suck as a mother!" comment? I missed it... or... wait... ITS NOT HERE!
You haven't been around that long. So, I don't know why you are an "expert" at different peoples' intent. But, really, you are wrong.
We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
Quit being a tw@t. You are and inconsiderate @sshat who thinks your personal comfort level should come before my hungry child. That is ultimately what most of us are getting from everything you are posting, well atleast I am. Either way get your head out of your @ss and quit making mothers feel like they should have to hide the fact that they are feeding their child. I remember Mrs. Leah Maria saying she felt embarassed (at times atleast, my memory sucks so forgive me for not remembering exactly) and uncomfortable nursing in public because of the stigmatism which you are perpetuating. Any spin you put on it, she nor any other woman should feel that way, you really should be crying in a corner out of shame at this point.
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What questions do you want me to answer? No sarcasm here, seriously. I'm doing my best to keep up with all these posts. Please ask them now.
And no...I'm not going to DD and run crying out of the board because I shared an opinion. We have all sorts of opinions here I don't understand why this one is different. I've clearly irritated you, so maybe if you're so bothered then you should be the one who just goes.
And really, this is a discussion board. Don't read it if you're getting all hot and bothered.
I'd love to!! I'm not trying to persuade anyone to what I believe. I'm trying to answer all the posts that I'm getting accused of skipping over....
No one said it - it was an example of how I wasn't acting. I read a lot of posts where posters get flamed and told how they're an asshat or a douchebag or whatever because of their opinion. I was simply saying that I was not doing those things in this post. I'm responding to and clarifying my opinion.
Go to page two at the bottom. I'm not reposting it.
Honestly, the intent of you doing this to "get a rise" out of the girls, is ridiculous. The post was seething with opinions, which are your own, and are clearly not stated to solely "get a rise"... I believe your original post is how you really feel and then once everyone jumped all over your sh!t, you tried weaseling your way out of it. I personally, am not even going to breastfeed so um, I'm not personally "hot and bothered" and I don't feel the need to leave. I am irritated at your arrogance in the responses and the way you attempted to back up what your original point supposedly was but somehow all of us misinterpreted.
Typically a "discussion" doesn't mean rip into someone and be completely rude because you don't agree with her opinion. Some of those on this post need to realize that when you're rude, even when you have a good point, it basically become invalid. You end up being the one that looks DuMB.
Now - on the subject - as a soon to be first time momr and someone who is somewhat modest in public settings I am not particularly comfortable with BFing in public. I just don't know how I'll relax enough to do it. I have friends that do and for the most part they're discreet and I don't care. (though sometimes it's hard to have a face to face conversation during the feeding) Stepping away to do it in the restroom or a friend's spare bedroom doesn't seem like a big deal to me. It's not like the baby or your boob will be touching anything. A public table at a restaurant isn't exactly the cleanest place either - trust me, I used to be a server. I think it is a to each her own kind of situation. I do agree with some of you though - I may change my mind 100% once the situation is not just a hypothetical.
My original post is 100% how I really feel. I've said that like 10 times now. I said I brought it up now because I thought now was a good time for a lively discussion. It really, really, really is my opinion.
And maybe I will feel differently when I'm BFin but I also know how I feel NOW which is the opinion I'm sharing.
Now off to find your questions....
You obviously wouldn't love to move on as you're still posting about it...
First - If you're going to bare-boob it at the dinner table then personally, I'd like a warning.
Second - It's my opinion. This is your opinion.
Third - I was saying that when women get all huffy because people give them awkward looks because they are BFing (not under a nursing cover) need to understand that people don't understand, agree or both. I'm specifically referring to the women (I know two - one that writes a blog all about BFing) that are so pro-BFing they have a disconnect between motherhood and everyone else. YES I think you should feed your baby and not be ashamed but when you're bare-breastfeeding then looking for people to be disagreeable or expecting people to be upset by what you're doing it's a little much.
Heavens to Murgatroyd Blog
Unofficial Baby Names Sticky Note: New and Old| Local Bumpie Website
Heavens to Murgatroyd Blog
Unofficial Baby Names Sticky Note: New and Old| Local Bumpie Website
agree. I think you can discreetly BF w/out it being a problem when you use covers.
It seems like this board has run it's course...for what it matters though, I plan on using a cover. Since I have never been a mom, I really have no real expectations as to how things will play out in the public scene. I am sure I will find out more in July!
I was talking to DH about this while I was reading the posts. Seems he is less comfortable with it than me. Who knew?:) It lead to a healthy debate here! Anyone else have hubby's who are less comfortable with the public BF scene?
(1) BFing covers. Get one.
(2) Your comfort level matters when you breast feed, but not when other people do. If they're comfortable showing your their boobs, you just need to get over it, because it's your problem, and you shouldn't make it the problem of a hungry baby or another mom.
(3) This kind of "it's not appropriate" attitude keeps women down, and relegates mothers to the indignities of having to hide to feed their child, or just stay home for fear of offending someone.
This. It doesn't bother me to see it, but with out a cover or a drapy sweater it wont be for me. Im just not comfortable with my nipples in public. I might change my mind with and LO, but I might not. Not every BFing mom I knew was ok with it.
But I dont have issue when other women do it. (Unless there is an obnoxiousness too it. When I worked at the Gap we had a mommy room. It was really nice, not like a batheroom but a couch and a changing table. But a mother refused to use it, which is fine, and chose to sit by the cash register, which effected the huge christmas line. This, to me, wasn't about feeding her kid. I think it was about making a point that bfing in public is ok. To me that is not ok.)
I wish everyone were this tactful during breastfeeding! I was at a bridal shower in a very public restaurant when one of the guests just pulled up her shirt, had NO bra on, no cover, and fed her son. I mean, I could care less if you breast feed, but not everyone eating wants to see your whole rack. And to top it off, the kid was around 3 and was asking for his "num-nums." Eww.
This 100%. I find that these types of threads can never be a real debate or open discussion. As soon as you call someone dumb or a twat you HAVE to expect the other person to get defensive and retort in the same manner. I will say that even if OPs opinion is in the minority she isn't the one that comes off as the most simple minded person in this thread to me. But of course this is the way of the message boards and you either take it or leave it.
For what it is worth I was at a focus group on Wed and this topic came up and out of the 6 of us there, I was the only one that didn't have a problem with breastfeeding in public or private for that matter (I was also the only one that used thebump lol). So your opinion, OP may quite likely be the majority IRL.
~Declare it..Claim it..It will be!!~
5/9/09
Here We Go Again!!
I've never had a child.. with that said Im pretty positive from every blog i've read and every mother i've spokent to modesty goes out the window when your hoohoo is hanging out on a table and your in stirups naked and everyone and there mother is staring at your hoohoo..
That said I dont believe that any BFing women whips out a boob to say "look at me I can." If a company is required to give you a place to pump without it being a BATHROOM I sure as heck hope that you can find somewhere that isnt a bathroom in public to BF.
This is the problem I see that women today feel like a women BFing isnt natural, or even beautiful. I am sorry but if it makes anyone uncomfortable than that is sad.. A women is nuturing her child by feeding it.. She isnt whipping out her nipple to be sexual or pick up men. Also I dont believe I ever saw a women with their nipping hanging in the breeze while breastfeeding most of them are covered by shirts towels, udder covers, hooter hiders, or whatever else they can find...
It really irrates me that this makes people all crazy when theres so much more in our lives now on TV (daytime) and the radio that is way worse in my opinon than a women BFing.. just saying
I really think it depends on the situation/ who I'm with etc. My BFF had a baby in Dec. When we got together a few weeks ago, she BF in the car before coming in th mall. She bottle-fed while we were in the mall walking around. She ended up going to the bathroom when Daisy wouldn't take the bottle. But I know that if it had been just she and I, we both would have been comfortable NIP around me. As I would around her, and probably only a handful of other friends and my mother's side of the family. I wouldn't nurse around DH's family b/c of comments I just don't want to deal with.
I didn't BF Lizzie, but plan to this one. I would probably NIP at a restaurant or food court, but probably not at church or something else. I don't really care what strangers think, but I also thing there are places where it shouldn't be done, mainly at church or family gatherings, more out of respect than thinking it's inappropriate.
Did that make any sense?
Ok. I *do* have a problem with women just whipping a full bare tit out for the world to see.
There are discreet ways to nurse. But if someone is going to get worked up over a brief flash of side-boob....well, then they need to grow up, don't they? I am more uncomfortable watching someone who can't chew with there mouth shut than with a little side boob.
I had a baby sling and nursing blanket. So, noone could ever tell when nursing or just sleeping. since I could maneufer fully covered.
But i'll be damned if I ever nurse in a restroom. If people think that's good enough for a baby, then i supposed they would have no problem letting their LOs eat their happy meals in there, correct?
When i am not comfortable with something, I...oh, lemme see, just don't look at whatever makes me uncomfortable. It's likely NOT my business anyway.
Unfortunately, I have seen women get confrontational and AWish about BFing. My SIL was BFing in a public place, and EXACT words, and employee asked, "Ma'am, we have a nursing room if you'd be more comfortable there." She immediately flipped out and started yelling at him, "Why, would YOU be more comfortable if I went there?" The poor guy looked like he'd been punched. I genuinely think he was trying to be helpful. She also whips her nips out in front of everyone and anyone.
I think people should BF wherever they need to, but a bit of discretion is always appreciated.
OP - This is a case where it's best for you to keep your mouth shut because you have no idea what you're talking about. Wait until you are actually doing it and then you can have an opinion on what you do/don't think is weird.
Also, it's attitudes like this that make women embarrassed to bf in public.
I NIP. At first I was too embarrassed to do it so I did it in my car or where there were mother's rooms (like BRU) or at nice store bathrooms that had sitting areas. But one trip to Target cured me of my paranoia. I tried nursing in the bathroom there and it was the most awful thing ever w/ DS popping off with every toilet flush. From then on I just made it work.
You're just backtracking now about the whole cover thing. And I can actually nurse now more discreetly without a cover than with one. I can guarantee you that not a single person has seen my nipple whether I nursed with a cover or without one. And this perception of showy bfing moms is just an urban myth. There may be a few women who are in your face about it but they are the slim minority of breastfeeding moms.
Oh and good luck bfing at a booth. I thought that would be more discreet but trying to fit your baby between you and the table is not as easy as it looks and I'm not a large person. His head kept getting bonked on the table so your booth theory isn't as great as it sounds.
But really, what good did you think would come of a post titled bfing in public = weird. I think this kind of attitude = stupid.
feeding your child is not weird. no matter where you do it.
My breast out in public FEEDING MY CHILD only make a$$holes uncomfortable.