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2nd Trimester
hoosierbaby76
member
Anyone else a little disappointed about baby's sex?
hoosierbaby76
member
So we found out today that we are expecting another boy. DH and I both really wanted a girl because it's our last baby. And my parents have nine grandchildren... 8 of which are BOYS! Part of me is so thankful and greatful that we are having a healthy baby, but part of me also is a little disappointed it's not a girl this time. I feel so guilty for having these feelings, but they are there. I was someone that tried for FIVE years to have my first baby and we had infertility issues with this baby too. I know I should stop being a brat and just be thankful I'm able to have another baby. Millions of people would dye to have a baby and here I am whining about the sex. Anyone else going through something similar. We even went to BRU today and I was just not in the mood to buy anything. My husband keeps apologizing and says since he's the one that "decides" the sex, it's his fault. I don't blame him or anyone. I know this is God's plan for us. God must know that I can't handle the drama and hormones of a teenage girl.. LOL
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Re: Anyone else a little disappointed about baby's sex?
I was in your shoes at 20 weeks.
I honestly cried in the u/s room and felt like such a ungrateful B!tch but couldn't stop the tears from flowing. I longed for a girl with every ounce of my soul. Dh and I both cried.
However, wow has this boy been a blessing!!! I ended up going on bedrest at 27 weeks and had to leave my job, pull ds out of daycare and we're in such a financial pickle. if it was a girl I seriously would have needed so much stuff! I would have been sad to not have girly nursery to decorate, etc etc etc.
Now I can walk past girl clothes and think how much money I am saving or how I'm glad I don't have to pay a wedding or deal with hormones and all that stuff!
God has replaced that feeling of emptiness in my heart with gratefulness and excitement for this boy! I honestly am FINE with just being with my two boys! God is in control and He always always has a plan for us! Cliche but so true!!!
It took me less than a week to get over the initial dissappointment. You will too. Hang in there mama!!!
Shyly raises hand to admit disappointment.
We have our little boy. I mean I wanted a little girl sooo bad when I was pregnant with DS. So I was really hoping to get her this time around (and we would have been done if we had). I mean I was so hopeful because everyone kept saying that this intense morning sickness I had meant I was having a girl.....wrong!
So now we will have two little boys (and DH has another son from a previous relationship who they gave up to the girls relatives for adoption...they knew they weren't ready). He did apologize and I let him know how it was all his fault...lol.
Isn't it great that men now know they are the one's who determine sex....imagine a few hundred years ago when it could mean your life for not providing the desired gender! Ok true thats if you married King Henry the VIII or someone else just as evil!
PS- I feel the same guilt for being disappointed in this babies gender...maybe next time! I know I'm very lucky to have him just the way he is.
I understand completely!!!>..This is our third and last baby and of course since we already have 2 girls DH and I both were really hoping for a boy!!..Especially DH.
When we found out it was another girl I fully expected to be disappointed and I actually wasn't as disappointed as I thought I would be!..I guess I am just meant to be a mommy of girls!!.. Of course I have had my moments especially since we had a boys name all picked out that now we will never be able to use!!..But DH and I couldnt be more excited now and I cant wait to meet our baby girl!!!
BFP 1.11.10 - Natural M/C 1.21.10 (5w5d)
BFP 9.19.10 - Mia Lynn born 5.4.11 (36w6d)
BFP 8.05.12 - waiting for Baby G2, edd 4.10.13
Married since 06/19/2004|Anna born 11/19/2006|Charles born 11/1/11
Double undergrad graduation May 2011| Me: Psychology, DH: Communication| A long journey!
<a href="http://s21.photobucket.com/albums/b268/gussiebutt/?action=view
This is tough, but I think you got some great responses here. Honestly when I read the title of the post I thought there'd be a bunch of flaming responses here directly towards you so I'm glad I was proven wrong.
It's perfectly natural to be disappointed when you had a picture of what your family would be like and that isn't going to happen now. Just so you know I haven't ever met a mother who was disappointed in the gender of all of her children once her family was complete.....once the baby is in your arms you won't be able to imagine anything different and you'll love your family as it is. I would love to have a boy this time around (even though we "plan" on trying for a third baby)......the idea of DD #1 having "competition" with another DD really bothers me even though it sounds silly. We will be thrilled with whatever and in the end so will you.
It is absolutely, 100% normal to mourn the loss of your "dream child" and "perfect family." That is normal and it's OK to be disappointed, even not excited, about the sex of your child.
It might take awhile to get used to the idea, but you'll be happy one day with your two boys. Wait until you see how awesome brothers are together! I can't promise that you'll never have moments of sadness again when you realize you'll only ever be a MIL ... or when you pass racks of cute bows ... but think of the money you'll save on wedding expenses and barbie dolls
There's no flaming here because there's nothing to flame. You aren't thinking of aborting your child because it's not the right sex, you aren't spiraling into a terrible depression because of it, and you aren't on the ingender boards. It's going to be ok, mama ... you'll see. Big hugs.
I was totally disappointed when i found out it's a girl. I wasn't planning on having kids at all, but when i found out i was pregnant at age 40, after being told for 20 years that i'd never have kids, I thought maybe this was a sign or something to help fill the gap in my life from losing my dad 6 years ago.
I was so excited, we were going to name our son after my dad, and i was going to do all the things with him that me and my dad did when I was a kid.
When i got the news that it was a girl i cried. I was devastated. Not only because my little dream was shot, but because I don't typically get along with women. My mother and I are like oil and water.
I dislike "girlie" things, but I am not going to force my likes and dislikes onto my child. So I'm going to try and be the best mom I can be and suck it up. Maybe she'll be like me, but in a society and media that stress pink princesses over logical, level headed ambitious women, i'm not real hopeful.
I posted something similar to this when i first found out and I got flamed to hell and back at what an ungrateful *** I am and how i didn't even deserve a baby.
I'm not sure why i chose to reply to this, maybe the audience here is a little more understanding.
You could only imagine our surprise when the u/s tech told us "oh! it's a girl!"...DH started laughing uncontrollably and I looked over at him and said "Baby! You did something right!" LOL!!
Don't feel bad for being a little disappointed, I am sure as time goes on you'll be excited for your new baby boy. I can honestly say that I think I would've been a little disappointed if I was told I was having a boy, but I know I would've gotten over it by the time the baby got here.
(((hugs)))
Not everyone's dream in life is to be a baby factory. Keep your crappy remarks to yourself when people are trying to share.
She HAS had issues, douche. She said so herself in her OP. She's allowed to have feelings; getting & staying pregnant does not mean that you have to be grateful for every second of it.
Stop being a bitter hag and if you hate these posts, don't open them. Easy peasy.
Well you're in good company because I hate posts like yours. Can't show some minor disappointment, even despite her trouble getting pregnant. Save this crap for the major disappointment posts; like the girl who didn't think she even wanted to have the baby. She deserves to hear this garbage
I can see both sides of this fence. With also struggling with infertility for 5 years and getting pregnant with triplets, losing one at 12 weeks and than finding out I was having one of each gender I was thrilled. I could be all done.
Than I gave birth to them at 23 weeks and they are in a tiny silver box right by my bed. Now that I went thru IF meds again, and pregnant. I'd be happy with any gender, a take home baby. Not one I had to go thru 31 hours of labor to just walk out of the hospital without.
Yes it's harder for people who struggle with IF, and I get that you can't just get pregnant on your own to have a girl, you have to rely on IF which costs alot.
But I also see it from the be happy with what you have, because in an instant it could change and you be going home empty, and heart broken.
I'd give aything to have my son & daughter back.
Your daughter will get her cues from you, initially. Yes, some girls are pretty pretty pink princesses no matter what (it's just their personality) but some aren't. There are plenty of strong women in the public eye you can help your daughter see and identify with. Or you can BE that woman your daughter can identify with!
My DD1 is a perfect blend of girly and tomboyish. Her room is pink and girly, and she plays with dolls. But then she will turn around and play Matchbox cars, Legos, and build cities with blocks. In the toy section, she spends as much time looking at "boy toys" as the Barbies. We have always been fine with whatever she wants to play with - I will buy her what she wants, not what I THINK she should want. I hope this can help we realize that girls don't have to be a certain way, she can be who she wants.
As far as disappointment, I wanted a boy, since we already have a girl. I wanted DH to have a boy. Funny thing it, DH wanted another girl, he didn't care about having a boy. He is super excited about "taking care of all his girls". So I was disappointed for about an hour, then got over it.
You will too, you just need time to adjust your vision of your family. That is all.
Mommy to Rachel 1.15.06 and Ashley 5.17.11
So your saying I'm a baby factory? I guess I would have 4 kids now with 5th on the way if I didn't loose three babies....nice
Totally agree. Crying over it? Very immature, I can't imagine crying over something like that.
okay- i think everybody needs to step back a moment....first off- WE ARE PREGNANT. of course we are emotional. i cry at the drop of a hat- so yes- i think it is completely normal to cry over what the OP said was a little disappointment. of course- if you have gone through a loss or infertility- your perspective may be a little different than somebody who hasn't gone through the same. (ironically- the OP has gone through something similar.) that DOES NOT make your perspective better or more superior. the OP had the courage to admit something that was probably difficult to admit because she knew some people might not agree with her, but to call her "selfish" or "immature" is just ridiculous. we have emotions and we deal with them. it's how we deal with them that is the important thing.
Actually, PG or not, it doesn't give someone license to be an idiot. Crying over finding out that your healthy baby is sporting a penis IS being an idiot. Plain and simple. My response would be the exact same to this post whether or not I was PG. I give the side-eye to anyone who wants to blame their inability to control their emotions on being PG.
BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
Well yeah, that's a valid thing to cry about IMO!!
I have only cried once while PG....it's because none of the strollers at BRU were "cute and delicate". LOL!
Some people cry more easily than others; tears just well up when they are sad. I don't think whether a person cries in a natural expression of an emotion (as opposed to bottling things up, as opposed to any number of other ways people deal with their emotions) is any reflection of their maturity. Crying is only immature if it's done purposefully to get your way, like an infant purposefully throwing a fit to get what she wants.
(Disclosure, in case it was not obvious: I cry easily myself.
this
I totally understand. DH & I really wanted out first to be a boy. But, God has other plans for us as well. After my ultrasound, it took a while to get excited. But now that we've started decorating the nursery, and buying a couple of cute outfits, I'm much more excited.
(Hugs) Congrats on a healthy baby. And you'll get through the feelings.
I agree with this.
While I was disappointed for a little bit, I got over it. But it is hard - knowing this is the last baby and I will never have a son. That is hard. Even knowing my baby was healthy, and by any opinion I am very very very very blessed.
I did not have ANY of these emotions when I found our sex with DD1 - because we were starting our family. But now, knowing our family is complete? I had to adjust my thinking and my vision of my family.
Mommy to Rachel 1.15.06 and Ashley 5.17.11
Seriously? Mourning a dream? Try mourning the abrupt end of a pregnancy due to miscarriage and then come tell me you're disappointed about your healthy baby's genitalia.
this. I cried because my daughters doctors office closed at 3:30. my thought process: what kind of idiot closes early when my little girl is sick?! Everyone handles things differently, and just because certain things to get to you or upset you doens't mean everyone else is that way, and they shouldn't be EXPECTED to feel the same way you do. Think how boring life would be if we were all the exact same. All I can say to that thought is ew.
(there are a few ladies who have posted that notoriously disagree with me and I am anxious to see those responses!
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