Things That Will Not Make You Pregnant

Milliways · January 2011

1. Drawing a second line on an IC pregnancy test with a pink highlighter might make you momentarily feel better but it will not make you pregnant and it will ruin your highlighter.

2. Entering different temps to make your chart look better. Unless you print that chart, wrap it around your DH's penis using hypoallergenic double sided tape and have him input his data into you while you are ovulating and singing songs from the Sound of Music, a pretty chart will not get you pregnant.

3. Getting drunk will not get you pregnant. Whiskey Dickk is alive and (not) thriving.

What have I missed?

Ladybug720 · January 2011

Milliways:

3. Getting drunk will not get you pregnant. Whiskey Dickk is alive and (not) thriving.
What have I missed?

I love you for this.. well and for a million other things

Mrs.Umm · January 2011

Having unprotected sex with my DH. (

ETA: andplusalso, covering the NOT with your thumb isn't a great idea either.

Tomsbabyboo · January 2011

LoL- you kill me Milli. There should be a standing rule on the board that you post something of this nature at least once a day. Big Smile

repen · January 2011

Reaching to find your inner acrobat and standing on your head after sex. You will fail and will have to scramble to find an excuse for your bruises that follow.

maybebride · January 2011

I just choked on my mac 'n cheese.

Not anywhere near as good as yours, but drinking a POM juice green tea cocktail with a pineapple core wedge will not get pregnant.

leathersmel4 · January 2011

Hahaha, love it!

Milliways · January 2011

Mrs.Umm:

Having unprotected sex with my DH. (

ETA: andplusalso, covering the NOT with your thumb isn't a great idea either.

**hugs**

lovemymaddy · January 2011

finding charts that "look like yours" on ff will not get you pg either

Temp878586125009588 · January 2011

Milliways:

2. Entering different temps to make your chart look better. Unless you print that chart, wrap it around your DH's penis using hypoallergenic double sided tape and have him input his data into you while you are ovulating and singing songs from the Sound of Music, a pretty chart will not get you pregnant.

Boy is this true, just use me as an example!

lynn0926 · January 2011

Having DH eat apricots like my cousin told me. She got KU first month because her DH ate apricots.

lovemymaddy · January 2011

perfect BD timing will not get you pregnant.

that's the hardest one for me to accept and wrap my head around i think!

Milliways · January 2011

Daysie:
Milliways:

2. Entering different temps to make your chart look better. Unless you print that chart, wrap it around your DH's penis using hypoallergenic double sided tape and have him input his data into you while you are ovulating and singing songs from the Sound of Music, a pretty chart will not get you pregnant.

Boy is this true, just use me as an example!

Dude at some point you have to be the exception, like a frequent pretty chart card or something, get your card punched 6 times and get PG!

Temp878586125009588 · January 2011

Milliways:
Daysie:
Milliways:

2. Entering different temps to make your chart look better. Unless you print that chart, wrap it around your DH's penis using hypoallergenic double sided tape and have him input his data into you while you are ovulating and singing songs from the Sound of Music, a pretty chart will not get you pregnant.

Boy is this true, just use me as an example!

FOR REALZ!

Dude at some point you have to be the exception, like a frequent pretty chart card or something, get your card punched 6 times and get PG!

Milliways · January 2011

**Papps**:
Doing the candlestick

So true for both the yoga pose and home decor items.

kelly2983 · January 2011

lovemymaddy:
finding charts that "look like yours" on ff will not get you pg either

Yes

agreed!

alison2379 · January 2011

Scoring high on the FF Pregnancy Signs Estimator. That will not get you pregnant. Not even a little.

vanillajen · January 2011

this post is hilaaarios!

mepclu · January 2011

Using OPKs will not get you pregnant. BDing after a positive OPK may get you pregnant.

Maybe.

But only if you stand on your head afterwards.

LetsBake · January 2011

hahaha! or staring so intently at the single line on your pregnancy test that you go cross eyed and inevitably see two blurry lines. and neither does chucking your stick into the trash can and then kicking it after.

Milliways · January 2011

jefa621:

These will not make you pregnant. But I know what you're thinking!!

It won't make me pregnant, but it could make dinner!

laurenbrooke_09 · January 2011

LetsBake:
hahaha! or staring so intently at the single line on your pregnancy test that you go cross eyed and inevitably see two blurry lines. and neither does chucking your stick into the trash can and then kicking it after.

From past experience, this definitely does not get you pregnant.

I love this post.

FinallyMrsM · January 2011

alison2379:
Scoring high on the FF Pregnancy Signs Estimator. That will not get you pregnant. Not even a little.

This exactly! I hate that FF Pregnancy signs estimator

pinkflipflops44 · January 2011

taking b6 will not magically implant a child into your uterus.

BitsKD13 · January 2011

Staring in envy at every baby bump you see will not get you PG. Nor will having all you friends and coworkers telling you "You'll be such a great mom!" If so I would be up to my elbows in kids! lol

purple4u · January 2011

Having a 14 day LP will not get you pregnant...I should know!!

weddingbells2010 · January 2011

Looking at your profile in the mirror and sticking your post-dinner and dessert gut out reeeeeally far so that you LOOK pregnant will also NOT get you pregnant.

bellaarchitect · January 2011

Milliways:
1. Drawing a second line on an IC pregnancy test with a pink highlighter might make you momentarily feel better but it will not make you pregnant and it will ruin your highlighter.

2. Entering different temps to make your chart look better. Unless you print that chart, wrap it around your DH's penis using hypoallergenic double sided tape and have him input his data into you while you are ovulating and singing songs from the Sound of Music, a pretty chart will not get you pregnant.

3. Getting drunk will not get you pregnant. Whiskey Dickk is alive and (not) thriving.

What have I missed?

Comedy but truth as usual Milliways! I second this!

NNGnome · January 2011

Spending all evening looking at every HDBD Post on the Tri boards and month boards ending with the Sept 2011 where you might be, will not make you pregnant, and yes I this is how I spent my evening Embarrassed

...I think I might be jinxing myself Sad

Jing22 · January 2011

"Cuddling the preggers" will also not get you pregnant and will probably result in lots of weird looks. Maybe rubbing pregnant bellies will though and holding your breath while you make a wish.

missycrissy3 · January 2011

Milli here is the biggest heart for you!!! You are wicked awesome!

You wont get KU taking pom, green tea, epo, mucinex, preseed, b6, pnv, and vitex all at one time!!

ETA: forgot to add the most important part

Temp436861125006648 · January 2011

Following all of "those people's" advice that tell you to quit thinking about getting pregnant and then *poof* you'll be pregnant. ::sigh:: wouldn't that be nice, huh? (ignorance is stupid if you ask me)

tigerhearted · January 2011

This thread delivers....bahahahaha

sewpinkgal · January 2011

This whole thread is full of win.

allensgrl · January 2011

using instead cups will not get you pregnant, but you may need an ob to pull them out,lol

Lynn

loveypants · January 2011

Butt sex. Milli lied to me about that one. Crying

meganruns · January 2011

1) Raw egg whites in the vag. They might make a high-protein, low-cholesterol egg white omelet, but a baby - no.

2) No matter how much DH tries to convince me, a whole lot of oral doesn't do the trick either.

3) Being extremely Type A. I plan everything. I thought I could plan a pregnancy and that all would go according to plan. So far, plan has not gone as planned.

eta: #3

psychgirl33 · January 2011

loveypants:
Butt sex. Milli lied to me about that one.

Lol, Lovey! That's funny because the other night DH was trying to convince me that butt sex was actually the only way to guarantee that you'll get pregnant. Confused Hahaha!