FFFC re: driving DD w/o a carseat

sexyntexy · January 2011

I blame this FFFC on DH.

So today he was going out of town to visit some friends for the night (3 hours away). He dropped DD off at my office and I took her inside to show her off to my coworkers. His job was to move everything from the car he was driving to the car I was driving. I was inside the building for about 45 minutes. When I come out to the car I realize DH forgot to put the CARSEAT in the car I was driving. He left it in his.

So of course I freak out and call him. He says he is to far away to turn around and I need to go buy a new one. WTF? How am I going to go buy a new one? I cant drive w/ DD in my lap or crawling around the car. I also cant walk to the closest store so I start to freak out more. Also, it was 330 and all my coworkers are still "working".

I call my good friend who is a coworker and she comes out to help me. We decide that she should drive my car and I will hold DD in the backseat - the closet Wal-Mart was a mile away. So my FFFC is that DD drove in the car for a mile w/o being in a carseat. Im sure I will get flamed but I didnt know what my other options were.

IrishBrideND · January 2011

If your coworker could take off to drive you, why couldn't she have instead watched lo....or gone and bought the carseat for you? I would have killed h.

weheartsofie · January 2011

Yea, that's f'in crazy. Not good.

KRMac · January 2011

I agree with Irish. Your coworker should have gone to the store without you or you should have gone while she watched your LO. You really didn't think of that?

MCMoo23 · January 2011

IrishBrideND:
If your coworker could take off to drive you, why couldn't she have instead watched lo....or gone and bought the carseat for you?I would have killed h.

Um..this. You know that most accidents occur within a mile of the home or workplace, right?

Jeesh, Texy..I think sometimes you just need to not tell people what you do on TB. You're going to get flamed up the @ss for this.

Ashleygoo · January 2011

IrishBrideND:
If your coworker could take off to drive you, why couldn't she have instead watched lo....or gone and bought the carseat for you? I would have killed h.

This is exactly what I was thinking, I just didnt want to be the first to say it.

I really dont know how this didnt come to mind, but sitting in the backseat with your LO on your lap did...

weheartsofie · January 2011

MCMoo23:
IrishBrideND:
If your coworker could take off to drive you, why couldn't she have instead watched lo....or gone and bought the carseat for you?I would have killed h.
Um..this. You know that most accidents occur within a mile of the home or workplace, right?
Jeesh, Texy..I think sometimes you just need to not tell people what you do on TB. You're going to get flamed up the @ss for this.

I was just thinking the same thing. I think I remember Texy saying that she didn't post pics of herself because she wants to remain anonymous...now I understand why.

sexyntexy · January 2011

MCMoo23:

IrishBrideND:
If your coworker could take off to drive you, why couldn't she have instead watched lo....or gone and bought the carseat for you?I would have killed h.

Um..this. You know that most accidents occur within a mile of the home or workplace, right?

Jeesh, Texy..I think sometimes you just need to not tell people what you do on TB. You're going to get flamed up the @ss for this.

I definitely agree it wasnt the best thing but this is how I see it.

1. My DD hates this woman. She has a TON of seperation anxiety right now. If I left her there to SCREAM bloody murder at my corporate office building that would not have been good.

2. This woman doesnt know what kind of carseat to buy. Hell it took me 30 minutes to freaking pick one out.

3. I felt like this was my only decision. While I AGREE something terrible could have happened it didnt. It defintely wasnt the brightest moment I have had as a Mom, but I really felt like I didnt have many choices.

MCMoo23 · January 2011

sexyntexy:
MCMoo23:

IrishBrideND:
If your coworker could take off to drive you, why couldn't she have instead watched lo....or gone and bought the carseat for you?I would have killed h.
Um..this. You know that most accidents occur within a mile of the home or workplace, right?
Jeesh, Texy..I think sometimes you just need to not tell people what you do on TB. You're going to get flamed up the @ss for this.

I definitely agree it wasnt the best thing but this is how I see it.
1. My DD hates this woman. She has a TON of seperation anxiety right now. If I left her there to SCREAM bloody murder at my corporate office building that would not have been good.
2. This woman doesnt know what kind of carseat to buy. Hell it took me 30 minutes to freaking pick one out.
3. I felt like this was my only decision. While I AGREE something terrible could have happened it didnt. It defintely wasnt the brightest moment I have had as a Mom, but I really felt like I didnt have many choices.

I'm sorry, those are all lame excuses (IMHO). You didn't have to leave your DD with her. You could have easily gone to the wal-mart website, and printed out a suitable car seat for her to buy. I'm sure she would have been able to be guided correctly from a printout or at least would have been able to buy something similar.

Big J · January 2011

I'm not going to flame you but I would have come up with another solution. I'm glad everything worked out though.

sexyntexy · January 2011

MCMoo23:
sexyntexy:
MCMoo23:

IrishBrideND:
If your coworker could take off to drive you, why couldn't she have instead watched lo....or gone and bought the carseat for you?I would have killed h.

Um..this. You know that most accidents occur within a mile of the home or workplace, right?

Jeesh, Texy..I think sometimes you just need to not tell people what you do on TB. You're going to get flamed up the @ss for this.

I definitely agree it wasnt the best thing but this is how I see it.

1. My DD hates this woman. She has a TON of seperation anxiety right now. If I left her there to SCREAM bloody murder at my corporate office building that would not have been good.

2. This woman doesnt know what kind of carseat to buy. Hell it took me 30 minutes to freaking pick one out.

3. I felt like this was my only decision. While I AGREE something terrible could have happened it didnt. It defintely wasnt the brightest moment I have had as a Mom, but I really felt like I didnt have many choices.

I'm sorry, those are all lame excuses (IMHO). You didn't have to leave your DD with her. You could have easily gone to the wal-mart website, and printed out a suitable car seat for her to buy. I'm sure she would have been able to be guided correctly from a printout or at least would have been able to buy something similar.

That is actually a good idea. I honestly didnt think of it. I was kinda panicked and really didnt know what to do.

MaleficentTheGreat · January 2011

sexyntexy:
I definitely agree it wasnt the best thing but this is how I see it.

1. My DD hates this woman. She has a TON of seperation anxiety right now. If I left her there to SCREAM bloody murder at my corporate office building that would not have been good.

2. This woman doesnt know what kind of carseat to buy. Hell it took me 30 minutes to freaking pick one out.

3. I felt like this was my only decision. While I AGREE something terrible could have happened it didnt. It defintely wasnt the brightest moment I have had as a Mom, but I really felt like I didnt have many choices.

Right. It didn't. I'm not always for what if's but can you imagine if something had happened? An accident? Getting pulled over by a cop? What you did was incredibly unsafe. Just leave your DD with the coworker. If she screams, she screams. It's better than her possibly dying in an accident or getting removed from your home because you're driving around with her not in a carseat. I'm sure a cop isn't going to really care about it being your husband's fault.

Hip2Bsquare · January 2011

That's sucks. My DH would have turned around and brought the car seat and apologized for taking it.

lpstl · January 2011

I'm not going to flame you, because it's real easy to pick apart what you should have done after the fact, and even though it might result in an entertaining post, it's pointless. I will flame your H though, if mine had done that I would have given him two options: turn around or I report all your credit cards and debit card stolen..., and maybe even your car, just for kicks.

mojito14 · January 2011

I can't believe your dh would not turn around and drop off the carseat. This is his daughter. It's ridiculous that he expected you to find a way to go buy another carseeat. I don't care if he was 2 hours away already.

MaleficentTheGreat · January 2011

Just to be fair, I'm not really flaming. I'm just showing you the reality. I know you're not the kind of person to purposefully harm your child.

This is your husband's fault. He should have turned around and brought the seat back, no questions. Now you went and spent at least $60 on a new carseat. Why? Because he didn't want to turn around?

gogoamy · January 2011

in nyc, it is legal for an adult to hold an infant in the backseat of a taxi without a car seat. i know this wasn't in a taxi in nyc (and i'm not debating whether or not i agree with it), but this type of thing is apparently legal in some scenarios.

DaisyFull · January 2011

lpstl:
I'm not going to flame you, because it's real easy to pick apart what you should have done after the fact, and even though it might result in an entertaining post, it's pointless. I will flame your H though, if mine had done that I would have given him two options: turn around or I report all your credit cards and debit card stolen..., and maybe even your car, just for kicks.

This. Totally, this.

sucrets4 · January 2011

lpstl:
I'm not going to flame you, because it's real easy to pick apart what you should have done after the fact, and even though it might result in an entertaining post, it's pointless. I will flame your H though, if mine had done that I would have given him two options: turn around or I report all your credit cards and debit card stolen..., and maybe even your car, just for kicks.

Oh, LP, how I love thee!

texy - I agree with everyone else, and will add that ANY car seat is safer than no car seat, so I think it's bull to say that it took you so long to pick one out. Maybe some perform better in some tests than others, but they all meet safety standards.

And, I would have used it once or twice and then taken it back, so the money wouldn't have mattered.

DrinknDerive · January 2011

Texy, I love you, but my goodness....

sexyntexy · January 2011

DrinknDerive:
Texy, I love you, but my goodness....

I should have called you to go pick me out a carseat! Big Smile

IrishBrideND · January 2011

lpstl:
I'm not going to flame you, because it's real easy to pick apart what you should have done after the fact, and even though it might result in an entertaining post, it's pointless. I will flame your H though, if mine had done that I would have given him two options: turn around or I report all your credit cards and debit card stolen..., and maybe even your car, just for kicks.

Seriously. What an ass. And he was just meeting up with friends. Your Childs safety should come before a few extra minutes with friends.

erin922 · January 2011

My DH would not be coming home ever if he decided he was too far away to turn around and make sure his daughter was safe.

DrinknDerive · January 2011

sexyntexy:
DrinknDerive:
Texy, I love you, but my goodness....

I should have called you to go pick me out a carseat!

I totally would have.

soko987 · January 2011

Yowza. Don't do that again. Please.

And your husband acted like a total prick. Do not let him get away with this.

liza0828 · January 2011

You're husband actually told you to go buy a new carseat instead of turning around?

That's absurd.

Temp36641187503164 · January 2011

sucrets4:
And, I would have used it once or twice and then taken it back, so the money wouldn't have mattered.

Please don't ever do that. A car seat is not something to be used and then returned.

KRMac · January 2011

MCMoo23:
sexyntexy:
MCMoo23:

IrishBrideND:
If your coworker could take off to drive you, why couldn't she have instead watched lo....or gone and bought the carseat for you?I would have killed h.
Um..this. You know that most accidents occur within a mile of the home or workplace, right?
Jeesh, Texy..I think sometimes you just need to not tell people what you do on TB. You're going to get flamed up the @ss for this.

I definitely agree it wasnt the best thing but this is how I see it.
1. My DD hates this woman. She has a TON of seperation anxiety right now. If I left her there to SCREAM bloody murder at my corporate office building that would not have been good.
2. This woman doesnt know what kind of carseat to buy. Hell it took me 30 minutes to freaking pick one out.
3. I felt like this was my only decision. While I AGREE something terrible could have happened it didnt. It defintely wasnt the brightest moment I have had as a Mom, but I really felt like I didnt have many choices.
I'm sorry, those are all lame excuses (IMHO). You didn't have to leave your DD with her. You could have easily gone to the wal-mart website, and printed out a suitable car seat for her to buy. I'm sure she would have been able to be guided correctly from a printout or at least would have been able to buy something similar.

Huh. To me, a baby crying while a coworker watched her is a lot better than an injured or dead baby from a car accident. And McMoo is right - you should have just told her what seat to buy then. You can see exactly what is available at your local Walmart on their website when you put in your zip code.

You should be thanking your lucky stars that you aren't on here writing one seriously sad post about how your LO was badly hurt or killed. At least you have 2 carseats now so this won't happen again.

Temp36641187503164 · January 2011

.KRM.:

Huh. To me, a baby crying while a coworker watched her is a lot better than an injured or dead baby from a car accident. And McMoo is right - you should have just told her what seat to buy then. You can see exactly what is available at your local Walmart on their website when you put in your zip code.

You should be thanking your lucky stars that you aren't on here writing one seriously sad post about how your LO was badly hurt or killed. At least you have 2 carseats now so this won't happen again.

Pretty much this.

SassyPanties · January 2011

If the walmart was just a mile away, why didn't you just walk there with your kid and then have your co-worker come pick you up or something. That's not a very long walk.

You husband was being an @ss.

sexyntexy · January 2011

Sassy_Panties:

If the walmart was just a mile away, why didn't you just walk there with your kid and then have your co-worker come pick you up or something. That's not a very long walk.

You husband was being an @ss.

I thought about walking. There is a busy intersection by my office and I felt like that was risky as well. Plus I was wearing heels and DD is heavy. Im not sure if I could carry her for a mile in heels. I didnt have a stroller in my car.

RedWingsFan · January 2011

erin922:
My DH would not be coming home ever if he decided he was too far away to turn around and make sure his daughter was safe.

This - there is NO effing way that he would still be on his way to meet friends if he forgot the car seat and I needed one. He would be turning around. Period.

DrinknDerive · January 2011

sexyntexy:
I thought about walking. There is a busy intersection by my office and I felt like that was risky as well. Plus I was wearing heels and DD is heavy. Im not sure if I could carry her for a mile in heels. I didnt have a stroller in my car.

I will back you up here. I definitely wouldn't walk with LO on streets in this area. WAY too congested.

wolverine8 · January 2011

MaleficentTheGreat:
Just to be fair, I'm not really flaming. I'm just showing you the reality. I know you're not the kind of person to purposefully harm your child.
This is your husband's fault. He should have turned around and brought the seat back, no questions. Now you went and spent at least $60 on a new carseat. Why? Because he didn't want to turn around?

This is BS. Yes, her DH has some fault here but HE did not tell her to drive around in the back seat with the baby on her lap. That was HER fault.

OP, I find it hard to believe that you had NO ONE else to call...not a friend or a family member. If you had time to wait for your DH to turn around (assuming he would have) then you certainly had time to wait for someone else to come help you out. I hardly see where * panicking* is acceptable here, other from what you actually did. My heart is racing just thinking about it!

sexyntexy · January 2011

wolverine8:
MaleficentTheGreat:

Just to be fair, I'm not really flaming. I'm just showing you the reality. I know you're not the kind of person to purposefully harm your child.

This is your husband's fault. He should have turned around and brought the seat back, no questions. Now you went and spent at least $60 on a new carseat. Why? Because he didn't want to turn around?

This is BS. Yes, her DH has some fault here but HE did not tell her to drive around in the back seat with the baby on her lap. That was HER fault.

OP, I find it hard to believe that you had NO ONE else to call...not a friend or a family member. If you had time to wait for your DH to turn around (assuming he would have) then you certainly had time to wait for someone else to come help you out. I hardly see where * panicking* is acceptable here, other from what you actually did. My heart is racing just thinking about it!

Nope all of my family lives hours away. Friends were at work. My coworker was my best hope. I agree I should have sent her to get the seat. If this ever happens again that will be my plan.

Princessn678 · January 2011

Texy I am not going to flame you because it seems like you have learned a lesson, but I would be so angry with DH for this. He put you in a craptastic situation and should feel like an a$$hat.

charlies-angel · January 2011

gogoamy:
in nyc, it is legal for an adult to hold an infant in the backseat of a taxi without a car seat. i know this wasn't in a taxi in nyc (and i'm not debating whether or not i agree with it), but this type of thing is apparently legal in some scenarios.

Wow. I didn't know this. This is interesting.

Que*Syrah · January 2011

Your other options were to give your friend money to buy the car seat or have your friend watch DD while you went to buy the car seat.

MaleficentTheGreat · January 2011

wolverine8:
This is BS. Yes, her DH has some fault here but HE did not tell her to drive around in the back seat with the baby on her lap. That was HER fault.
OP, I find it hard to believe that you had NO ONE else to call...not a friend or a family member. If you had time to wait for your DH to turn around (assuming he would have) then you certainly had time to wait for someone else to come help you out. I hardly see where * panicking* is acceptable here, other from what you actually did. My heart is racing just thinking about it!

You're right now that I'm thinking more on it. She should have said "Hey. I don't have a seat. How do you suggest I do that, numbnuts?" He probably assumed that she would leave the baby with co-workers and go get a seat which is what I would have done. What OP did was completely unsafe and could have turned a whole lot worse than it did. Like I said earlier, I'm not even talking about an accident. If a cop had pulled them over, she would have been in a $hitload of trouble for sure. No offense, OP, but I think a cop would have most likely blown you off when you said "This is all my husband's fault."

MexiCali · January 2011

Texy why? Did you not learn your lesson from your FFFC with texting? Please don't do this again. You already know it's very dangerous and what your other options could have been.

americanada · January 2011

i can't even imagine ever doing that with ds. dh is going out of town to nyc (where it's legal to hold LO in the back seat of a taxi) and we chose not to go b/c that's just not safe.

my dh would NEVER do that. i hope you tell your h that he was extremely selfish today.

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