I got into a FB argument about spanking.

mfransdell · December 2010

There is nothing my child could do that would cause me to inflict pain on her. Or fear. Of course i'll be tested and frustrated but to just hit because im upset or she did something potientially dangerous? Thats crazy. I dont spank the my assistant for not coming in late or a stranger jaywalking. You dont just hit people, that's not how things work.

CalinsBride · December 2010

I'm a "studies show. . ." kind of mother. And studies show that spanking does more harm than good, in most cases. Plus I just have no desire to discipline my child that way.

I personally believe in showing kids how to right their wrongs when they make a mistake. I don't believe in punishment, because that just teaches them that it sucks to get caught. I want him to learn and grow and become a better human being as a result of my discipline. I don't feel like hitting him accomplishes that.

katiekate1974 · December 2010

sunnyday016:
alybookgirl:
sunnyday016:
alybookgirl:
DH and I grew up with spankings. We will spank DD.
Genuinely curious question: What do you think spanking can accomplish that other methods of discipline can't?
Well, for DH and me, we believe that God's way is best. His wisdom is above all others. The Bible says that there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9), meaning that every generation of people has sought new ways to do things, new ways to raise children, new ways to think and psychologize child rearing, etc, etc. But no wisdom outsmarts God's wisdom. The Bible teaches spanking and how to raise children with discipline. Based on the biblical teachings of child rearing and discipline, we believe it is best for DD, DH and me if we spank. For DH and me, if God's Word says it, we follow it as best as we can.
Just to eliminate any flames, I do not think you are a bad parent or Christian if you do not spank. These are our beliefs and we respect every parent's right to chose what they want for their child. And I also realize that there is a big debate among Christians regarding those verses on spanking. This is our understanding and I'm not trying to convince anyone to believe it our way.
Well, I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree. I am also a Christian, and a ministry major, and I think you are seriously misinterpreting the text, but I guess I'm one of those Christians who is on the other side of the issue than you are.
If you are talking about the "rod" verses, those are commonly interpreted as a shepherd's staff. Used for guiding, rather than beating.

Yes, this. Exactly. Generally speaking, I think spanking can be ok. We will probably consider it at some point, but it is not based on anything Biblical, just personal experience. However, I do think if you're going ti tout the Bible as your reason for doing anything, you should at least have an accurate understanding of the section you are referencing.

CalinsBride · December 2010

alybookgirl:
sunnyday016:

alybookgirl:
DH and I grew up with spankings. We will spank DD.

Genuinely curious question: What do you think spanking can accomplish that other methods of discipline can't?

Well, for DH and me, we believe that God's way is best. His wisdom is above all others. The Bible says that there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9), meaning that every generation of people has sought new ways to do things, new ways to raise children, new ways to think and psychologize child rearing, etc, etc. But no wisdom outsmarts God's wisdom. The Bible teaches spanking and how to raise children with discipline. Based on the biblical teachings of child rearing and discipline, we believe it is best for DD, DH and me if we spank. For DH and me, if God's Word says it, we follow it as best as we can.

Just to eliminate any flames, I do not think you are a bad parent or Christian if you do not spank. These are our beliefs and we respect every parent's right to chose what they want for their child. And I also realize that there is a big debate among Christians regarding those verses on spanking. This is our understanding and I'm not trying to convince anyone to believe it our way.

Can we please just discuss the fact that the Bible doesn't say "spank your child?" It talks about using the rod of discipline. Now, let's discuss who uses a rod. That would be a shepherd. And do you see shepherds out in their fields, hitting their sheep? No. They use the rod to guide. It's a metaphor. I know you've acknowleged the fact that there is debate regarding the meaning of these verses, but I need to put this out there for anyone else who will take what you've said as another example of Christians using the Bible to justify controversial behaviour.

And there is nothing new under the sun? I really feel like you are just proof texting right now. Using reason and logical consequences isn't some new fangled way of raising your child. Having your child apologize to the person they hurt, volunteer at the school they vandalized, or give up their allowance to pay for their friend's toy that they broke isn't some new crazy parenting method. It's just doing what makes sense. Randomly hitting, across the board, for every offence, teaches nothing, makes no sense, and is not something that God advocates. I'm sorry if I'm stepping on your toes, but I have seen way too many people outright abuse their children, and then point to the Bible as the reason behind it. The Bible doesn't say that. Spank your kids if you want to, but leave God out of it please.

emmared1986 · December 2010

CalinsBride:
alybookgirl:
sunnyday016:

alybookgirl:
DH and I grew up with spankings. We will spank DD.
Genuinely curious question: What do you think spanking can accomplish that other methods of discipline can't?
Well, for DH and me, we believe that God's way is best. His wisdom is above all others. The Bible says that there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9), meaning that every generation of people has sought new ways to do things, new ways to raise children, new ways to think and psychologize child rearing, etc, etc. But no wisdom outsmarts God's wisdom. The Bible teaches spanking and how to raise children with discipline. Based on the biblical teachings of child rearing and discipline, we believe it is best for DD, DH and me if we spank. For DH and me, if God's Word says it, we follow it as best as we can.
Just to eliminate any flames, I do not think you are a bad parent or Christian if you do not spank. These are our beliefs and we respect every parent's right to chose what they want for their child. And I also realize that there is a big debate among Christians regarding those verses on spanking. This is our understanding and I'm not trying to convince anyone to believe it our way.
Can we please just discuss the fact that the Bible doesn't say "spank your child?" It talks about using the rod of discipline. Now, let's discuss who uses a rod. That would be a shepherd. And do you see shepherds out in their fields, hitting their sheep? No. They use the rod to guide. It's a metaphor. I know you've acknowleged the fact that there is debate regarding the meaning of these verses, but I need to put this out there for anyone else who will take what you've said as another example of Christians using the Bible to justify controversial behaviour.
And there is nothing new under the sun? I really feel like you are just proof texting right now. Using reason and logical consequences isn't some new fangled way of raising your child. Having your child apologize to the person they hurt, volunteer at the school they vandalized, or give up their allowance to pay for their friend's toy that they broke isn't some new crazy parenting method. It's just doing what makes sense. Randomly hitting, across the board, for every offence, teaches nothing, makes no sense, and is not something that God advocates. I'm sorry if I'm stepping on your toes, but I have seen way too many people outright abuse their children, and then point to the Bible as the reason behind it. The Bible doesn't say that. Spank your kids if you want to, but leave God out of it please.

I love you Calins. So eloquent and intelligent.

I also like you Aly, for believing in something and not being afraid to state your opinion even though you know it isn't the 'popular' opinion.

For the record, I completely disagree with Aly, I think hitting your child is awful and using a Bible verse to justify that is insane. If Jesus were around today I think he would be disgusted by what his word has come to represent to some people.

CalinsBride · December 2010

emmared1986:
CalinsBride:
alybookgirl:
sunnyday016:

alybookgirl:
DH and I grew up with spankings. We will spank DD.

Genuinely curious question: What do you think spanking can accomplish that other methods of discipline can't?

Well, for DH and me, we believe that God's way is best. His wisdom is above all others. The Bible says that there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9), meaning that every generation of people has sought new ways to do things, new ways to raise children, new ways to think and psychologize child rearing, etc, etc. But no wisdom outsmarts God's wisdom. The Bible teaches spanking and how to raise children with discipline. Based on the biblical teachings of child rearing and discipline, we believe it is best for DD, DH and me if we spank. For DH and me, if God's Word says it, we follow it as best as we can.

Just to eliminate any flames, I do not think you are a bad parent or Christian if you do not spank. These are our beliefs and we respect every parent's right to chose what they want for their child. And I also realize that there is a big debate among Christians regarding those verses on spanking. This is our understanding and I'm not trying to convince anyone to believe it our way.

Can we please just discuss the fact that the Bible doesn't say "spank your child?" It talks about using the rod of discipline. Now, let's discuss who uses a rod. That would be a shepherd. And do you see shepherds out in their fields, hitting their sheep? No. They use the rod to guide. It's a metaphor. I know you've acknowleged the fact that there is debate regarding the meaning of these verses, but I need to put this out there for anyone else who will take what you've said as another example of Christians using the Bible to justify controversial behaviour.

And there is nothing new under the sun? I really feel like you are just proof texting right now. Using reason and logical consequences isn't some new fangled way of raising your child. Having your child apologize to the person they hurt, volunteer at the school they vandalized, or give up their allowance to pay for their friend's toy that they broke isn't some new crazy parenting method. It's just doing what makes sense. Randomly hitting, across the board, for every offence, teaches nothing, makes no sense, and is not something that God advocates. I'm sorry if I'm stepping on your toes, but I have seen way too many people outright abuse their children, and then point to the Bible as the reason behind it. The Bible doesn't say that. Spank your kids if you want to, but leave God out of it please.

I love you Calins. So eloquent and intelligent.

I also like you Aly, for believing in something and not being afraid to state your opinion even though you know it isn't the 'popular' opinion.

For the record, I completely disagree with Aly, I think hitting your child is awful and using a Bible verse to justify that is insane. If Jesus were around today I think he would be disgusted by what his word has come to represent to some people.

Hehe, I PPH you too

alybookgirl · December 2010

CalinsBride:
alybookgirl:
sunnyday016:

alybookgirl:
DH and I grew up with spankings. We will spank DD.
Genuinely curious question: What do you think spanking can accomplish that other methods of discipline can't?
Well, for DH and me, we believe that God's way is best. His wisdom is above all others. The Bible says that there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9), meaning that every generation of people has sought new ways to do things, new ways to raise children, new ways to think and psychologize child rearing, etc, etc. But no wisdom outsmarts God's wisdom. The Bible teaches spanking and how to raise children with discipline. Based on the biblical teachings of child rearing and discipline, we believe it is best for DD, DH and me if we spank. For DH and me, if God's Word says it, we follow it as best as we can.
Just to eliminate any flames, I do not think you are a bad parent or Christian if you do not spank. These are our beliefs and we respect every parent's right to chose what they want for their child. And I also realize that there is a big debate among Christians regarding those verses on spanking. This is our understanding and I'm not trying to convince anyone to believe it our way.
Can we please just discuss the fact that the Bible doesn't say "spank your child?" It talks about using the rod of discipline. Now, let's discuss who uses a rod. That would be a shepherd. And do you see shepherds out in their fields, hitting their sheep? No. They use the rod to guide. It's a metaphor. I know you've acknowleged the fact that there is debate regarding the meaning of these verses, but I need to put this out there for anyone else who will take what you've said as another example of Christians using the Bible to justify controversial behaviour.
And there is nothing new under the sun? I really feel like you are just proof texting right now. Using reason and logical consequences isn't some new fangled way of raising your child. Having your child apologize to the person they hurt, volunteer at the school they vandalized, or give up their allowance to pay for their friend's toy that they broke isn't some new crazy parenting method. It's just doing what makes sense. Randomly hitting, across the board, for every offence, teaches nothing, makes no sense, and is not something that God advocates. I'm sorry if I'm stepping on your toes, but I have seen way too many people outright abuse their children, and then point to the Bible as the reason behind it. The Bible doesn't say that. Spank your kids if you want to, but leave God out of it please.

Eh, I'm okay with being unpopular here and you're not stepping on my toes. I disagree about what the Bible teaches about spanking. This is the only thing I can find right now about the topic, but it is interesting.

https://www.bible.com/bibleanswers_result.php?id=153

And like I said, I don't care how you or anyone else chooses to discipline. We spank and we do so because of the teachings in Proverbs. If we got it wrong, we'll have to answer to God about that.

ToledoDeux · December 2010

alybookgirl:
Eh, I'm okay with being unpopular here and you're not stepping on my toes. I disagree about what the Bible teaches about spanking. This is the only thing I can find right now about the topic, but it is interesting.
https://www.bible.com/bibleanswers_result.php?id=153
And like I said, I don't care how you or anyone else chooses to discipline. We spank and we do so because of the teachings in Proverbs. If we got it wrong, we'll have to answer to God about that.

And to your poor kid.

sunnyday016 · December 2010

alybookgirl:
CalinsBride:
alybookgirl:
sunnyday016:

alybookgirl:
DH and I grew up with spankings. We will spank DD.
Genuinely curious question: What do you think spanking can accomplish that other methods of discipline can't?
Well, for DH and me, we believe that God's way is best. His wisdom is above all others. The Bible says that there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9), meaning that every generation of people has sought new ways to do things, new ways to raise children, new ways to think and psychologize child rearing, etc, etc. But no wisdom outsmarts God's wisdom. The Bible teaches spanking and how to raise children with discipline. Based on the biblical teachings of child rearing and discipline, we believe it is best for DD, DH and me if we spank. For DH and me, if God's Word says it, we follow it as best as we can.
Just to eliminate any flames, I do not think you are a bad parent or Christian if you do not spank. These are our beliefs and we respect every parent's right to chose what they want for their child. And I also realize that there is a big debate among Christians regarding those verses on spanking. This is our understanding and I'm not trying to convince anyone to believe it our way.
Can we please just discuss the fact that the Bible doesn't say "spank your child?" It talks about using the rod of discipline. Now, let's discuss who uses a rod. That would be a shepherd. And do you see shepherds out in their fields, hitting their sheep? No. They use the rod to guide. It's a metaphor. I know you've acknowleged the fact that there is debate regarding the meaning of these verses, but I need to put this out there for anyone else who will take what you've said as another example of Christians using the Bible to justify controversial behaviour.
And there is nothing new under the sun? I really feel like you are just proof texting right now. Using reason and logical consequences isn't some new fangled way of raising your child. Having your child apologize to the person they hurt, volunteer at the school they vandalized, or give up their allowance to pay for their friend's toy that they broke isn't some new crazy parenting method. It's just doing what makes sense. Randomly hitting, across the board, for every offence, teaches nothing, makes no sense, and is not something that God advocates. I'm sorry if I'm stepping on your toes, but I have seen way too many people outright abuse their children, and then point to the Bible as the reason behind it. The Bible doesn't say that. Spank your kids if you want to, but leave God out of it please.
Eh, I'm okay with being unpopular here and you're not stepping on my toes. I disagree about what the Bible teaches about spanking. This is the only thing I can find right now about the topic, but it is interesting.
https://www.bible.com/bibleanswers_result.php?id=153
And like I said, I don't care how you or anyone else chooses to discipline. We spank and we do so because of the teachings in Proverbs. If we got it wrong, we'll have to answer to God about that.

I disagree with that entire interpretation. No where on there did they talk about the rod being a staff like that of a shepherd, nor did they talk about any other types of discipline. It's like they're advocating using spanking for any offense-and that if you do not spank you're doing your child a major diservice. Have you heard of the Pearls (No Greater Joy)? Because this sounds eerily similar. They're big advocates of switching & spanking, and they back it all up with the Bible.

alybookgirl · December 2010

sunnyday016:
alybookgirl:
CalinsBride:
alybookgirl:
sunnyday016:

alybookgirl:
DH and I grew up with spankings. We will spank DD.
Genuinely curious question: What do you think spanking can accomplish that other methods of discipline can't?
Well, for DH and me, we believe that God's way is best. His wisdom is above all others. The Bible says that there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9), meaning that every generation of people has sought new ways to do things, new ways to raise children, new ways to think and psychologize child rearing, etc, etc. But no wisdom outsmarts God's wisdom. The Bible teaches spanking and how to raise children with discipline. Based on the biblical teachings of child rearing and discipline, we believe it is best for DD, DH and me if we spank. For DH and me, if God's Word says it, we follow it as best as we can.
Just to eliminate any flames, I do not think you are a bad parent or Christian if you do not spank. These are our beliefs and we respect every parent's right to chose what they want for their child. And I also realize that there is a big debate among Christians regarding those verses on spanking. This is our understanding and I'm not trying to convince anyone to believe it our way.
Can we please just discuss the fact that the Bible doesn't say "spank your child?" It talks about using the rod of discipline. Now, let's discuss who uses a rod. That would be a shepherd. And do you see shepherds out in their fields, hitting their sheep? No. They use the rod to guide. It's a metaphor. I know you've acknowleged the fact that there is debate regarding the meaning of these verses, but I need to put this out there for anyone else who will take what you've said as another example of Christians using the Bible to justify controversial behaviour.
And there is nothing new under the sun? I really feel like you are just proof texting right now. Using reason and logical consequences isn't some new fangled way of raising your child. Having your child apologize to the person they hurt, volunteer at the school they vandalized, or give up their allowance to pay for their friend's toy that they broke isn't some new crazy parenting method. It's just doing what makes sense. Randomly hitting, across the board, for every offence, teaches nothing, makes no sense, and is not something that God advocates. I'm sorry if I'm stepping on your toes, but I have seen way too many people outright abuse their children, and then point to the Bible as the reason behind it. The Bible doesn't say that. Spank your kids if you want to, but leave God out of it please.
Eh, I'm okay with being unpopular here and you're not stepping on my toes. I disagree about what the Bible teaches about spanking. This is the only thing I can find right now about the topic, but it is interesting.
https://www.bible.com/bibleanswers_result.php?id=153
And like I said, I don't care how you or anyone else chooses to discipline. We spank and we do so because of the teachings in Proverbs. If we got it wrong, we'll have to answer to God about that.
I disagree with that entire interpretation. No where on there did they talk about the rod being a staff like that of a shepherd, nor did they talk about any other types of discipline. It's like they're advocating using spanking for any offense-and that if you do not spank you're doing your child a major diservice. Have you heard of the Pearls (No Greater Joy)? Because this sounds eerily similar. They're big advocates of switching & spanking, and they back it all up with the Bible.

That was just the fastest reference that I could find. Like I said in my earlier post, I'm not trying to convince anyone to join my stance. I'm just giving my opinion and reasoning behind our discipline choices. I think what we all miss in biblical interpretation is that sometimes the original text does not interpret perfectly into English. For instance, there are several different words for love in Hebrew, but only one word to describe it in English. I love my husband, but I also love my couch. Not the same kind of love, but that is the only word we have to describe so many sentiments. I'm not a professional Bible scholar nor have I studied much Hebrew, but I think there could be confusion on what the original text said. Maybe the rod in English Proverbs is not a shepherds staff at all. And then again maybe it is. This would be a great word study!

I have never heard of the book or group that you mentioned. I have read "Parenting By The Book" and it is excellent. I guess above all else I want to do right by God. If we have misinterpreted something, I pray that my eyes will be open to it so that we can gain correct understanding.

TSD · December 2010

I don't think you can pray your eyes open. You just have to open them. Otherwise it's just called naive in my book. But, then again, that's my book, not The Book, which to me was that time's version of Melrose Place.

alybookgirl · December 2010

TSD:
I don't think you can pray your eyes open. You just have to open them. Otherwise it's just called naive in my book. But, then again, that's my book, not The Book, which to me was that time's version of Melrose Place.

Ephesians 1:18

mfransdell · December 2010

TSD:
I don't think you can pray your eyes open. You just have to open them. Otherwise it's just called naive in my book. But, then again, that's my book, not The Book, which to me was that time's version of Melrose Place.

Seriously girl, you should write poetry. Or those quotes they put in Dove Chocolates.

madameladauphine · December 2010

TSD:
I don't think you can pray your eyes open. You just have to open them. Otherwise it's just called naive in my book. But, then again, that's my book, not The Book, which to me was that time's version of Melrose Place.

Love it.

I have never been more against spanking after reading this thread.

TSD · December 2010

alybookgirl:

TSD:
I don't think you can pray your eyes open. You just have to open them. Otherwise it's just called naive in my book. But, then again, that's my book, not The Book, which to me was that time's version of Melrose Place.

Ephesians 1:18

No. You missed my point. I really do not believe you can pray your eyes open. I don't know Ephesians but I can tell you that I bet Are You There Vodka, it's me Chelsea is a way better (or at least more fun) use of my time.

Aly, let's not argue. You say tomato and your tomatoes are grown on a totally different planet than mine. Have at the Ephesians.

CalinsBride · December 2010

TSD:
alybookgirl:

TSD:
I don't think you can pray your eyes open. You just have to open them. Otherwise it's just called naive in my book. But, then again, that's my book, not The Book, which to me was that time's version of Melrose Place.

Ephesians 1:18

You say tomato and your tomatoes are grown on a totally different planet than mine.

LOL!

Princess_Lily · December 2010

alybookgirl,

Do you wear clothing of mixed fabrics? (Cotton & Polyester)

Do you watch/enjoy football?

Do you eat shellfish or pork?

Do you have a tatoo?

Do you work on the Sabbath?

If you did any of these things, you have committed a sin according to the works of the bible.

I don't like people who pluck biblical teachings as excuses to act the way they do. Don't bring God into it; You choose to hit your children, period.

Echowysp · December 2010

Princess_Lily:
alybookgirl,

Do you wear clothing of mixed fabrics? (Cotton & Polyester)
Do you watch/enjoy football?
Do you eat shellfish or pork?
Do you have a tatoo?
Do you work on the Sabbath?

If you did any of these things, you have committed a sin according to the works of the bible.
I don't like people who pluck biblical teachings as excuses to act the way they do. Don't bring God into it; You choose to hit your children, period.

Not to mention that using a religious book written by men thousands of years ago who weren't experts in child development to raise your children makes absolutely no sense.

That's like using astrology to decide how to treat a medical problem.

alybookgirl · December 2010

Y'all all crack me up! No hard feelings on my end. We disagree. That's okay with me. I'm a Christian and I think that makes me a target for teasing and whatnot. I can handle it. Can we talk about something else now?

alybookgirl · December 2010

Princess_Lily:
alybookgirl,

Do you wear clothing of mixed fabrics? (Cotton & Polyester)
Do you watch/enjoy football?
Do you eat shellfish or pork?
Do you have a tatoo?
Do you work on the Sabbath?

If you did any of these things, you have committed a sin according to the works of the bible.
I don't like people who pluck biblical teachings as excuses to act the way they do. Don't bring God into it; You choose to hit your children, period.

Jesus came to fulfill the Mosaic law. Matthew 5:17-18

https://www.gotquestions.org/abolish-fulfill-law.html

And I hate football and all seafood

lclark79 · December 2010

I was not spanked nor do I intend on spanking my child. And being a therapist specializing in children and adolescents I wish I could hand out my business cards to all of you who choose to spank your child. Let me just clue you in that spanking incites fear and resentment. Sure the behavior may stop for now but just wait till they get older and then you'll see the aftermath. I know to each their own and it's your kid but I could never hurt my child physically, verbally, or emotionally.

TSD · December 2010

I don't even care about the spanking at this point. Although, I will say when I was a social worker in a group home for abused/neglected/delinquent teens, 2 of them were from uber-Christian homes who used the whole Bible thing. Yeah, obviously their children were taken away. Anyhoo...

What gets me is the whole religious reasoning thing. It just gives people like me the desire to goof and be totally disrespectful about religion, The Bible, and another reason to think people are cuckoo. Now, those are not very nice. I want to be nice...I really do. This kind of exchange is just not very conducive to that because I have so much sarcasm to spew. I pray for sarcasm to keep from shooting forth from my fingers. Zip it!

CalinsBride · December 2010

alybookgirl:
Y'all all crack me up! No hard feelings on my end. We disagree. That's okay with me. I'm a Christian and I think that makes me a target for teasing and whatnot. I can handle it. Can we talk about something else now?

I'm a Christian too, but not all Christians interpret the Bible the same way.

Can I also just say that using Bible verses to convince people who don't even believe in the Bible doesn't make very much sense? I also find it somewhat hilarious that you admit to not being a Biblical scholar or student of any kind, but there are people on here who have actually read the Bible cover to cover, studied it, learned from people who have made disciphering it their life's work, and yet you STILL think you know more about it than we do.

It's not very becoming lol. We don't have to keep talking about this, but one thing that I learned in Bible college is that it's impossible to understand everything the Bible has to say. It can't be done. Not even close. So you should at least try to keep an open mind and admit that it's possible that your knowledge on all Biblical subject matter may not be entirely accurate.

Chrysallys · December 2010

ToledoDeux:

alybookgirl:
DH and I grew up with spankings. We will spank DD.

I will never understand this. You plan to spank your child? You can predict now, when she's still a baby, that she will someday do something that is worthy of being hit in response?

I don't even understand spanking in desperation - but as a planned, calculated discipline strategy? Totally bizarre.

I agree. To me this is just wrong, wrong, wrong.

I was spanked/whipped as a child and all it taught me was to be fearful and to immediately want to lash out and hit when I'm angry. I have to fight that urge even today.

CalinsBride · December 2010

Chrysallys:
ToledoDeux:

alybookgirl:
DH and I grew up with spankings. We will spank DD.

I will never understand this. You plan to spank your child? You can predict now, when she's still a baby, that she will someday do something that is worthy of being hit in response?

I don't even understand spanking in desperation - but as a planned, calculated discipline strategy? Totally bizarre.

I agree. To me this is just wrong, wrong, wrong.

I was spanked/whipped as a child and all it taught me was to be fearful and to immediately want to lash out and hit when I'm angry. I have to fight that urge even today.

And this. Seriously. It's not fun. I'm seeing a counsellor because I refuse to do this to my child, regardless of how craptastically I was raised.

Chrysallys · December 2010

CalinsBride:
Chrysallys:
ToledoDeux:

alybookgirl:
DH and I grew up with spankings. We will spank DD.

I will never understand this. You plan to spank your child? You can predict now, when she's still a baby, that she will someday do something that is worthy of being hit in response?

I don't even understand spanking in desperation - but as a planned, calculated discipline strategy? Totally bizarre.

I agree. To me this is just wrong, wrong, wrong.

I was spanked/whipped as a child and all it taught me was to be fearful and to immediately want to lash out and hit when I'm angry. I have to fight that urge even today.

And this. Seriously. It's not fun. I'm seeing a counsellor because I refuse to do this to my child, regardless of how craptastically I was raised.

*hugs* I lurve you girl, and all of your posts today.

CalinsBride · December 2010

Chrysallys:
CalinsBride:
Chrysallys:
ToledoDeux:

alybookgirl:
DH and I grew up with spankings. We will spank DD.

I will never understand this. You plan to spank your child? You can predict now, when she's still a baby, that she will someday do something that is worthy of being hit in response?

I don't even understand spanking in desperation - but as a planned, calculated discipline strategy? Totally bizarre.

I agree. To me this is just wrong, wrong, wrong.

I was spanked/whipped as a child and all it taught me was to be fearful and to immediately want to lash out and hit when I'm angry. I have to fight that urge even today.

And this. Seriously. It's not fun. I'm seeing a counsellor because I refuse to do this to my child, regardless of how craptastically I was raised.

*hugs* I lurve you girl, and all of your posts today.

*smoochies* PPH you too!

alybookgirl · December 2010

CalinsBride:
alybookgirl:
Y'all all crack me up! No hard feelings on my end. We disagree. That's okay with me. I'm a Christian and I think that makes me a target for teasing and whatnot. I can handle it. Can we talk about something else now?
I'm a Christian too, but not all Christians interpret the Bible the same way.
Can I also just say that using Bible verses to convince people who don't even believe in the Bible doesn't make very much sense? I also find it somewhat hilarious that you admit to not being a Biblical scholar or student of any kind, but there are people on here who have actually read the Bible cover to cover, studied it, learned from people who have made disciphering it their life's work, and yet you STILL think you know more about it than we do.
It's not very becoming lol. We don't have to keep talking about this, but one thing that I learned in Bible college is that it's impossible to understand everything the Bible has to say. It can't be done. Not even close. So you should at least try to keep an open mind and admit that it's possible that your knowledge on all Biblical subject matter may not be entirely accurate.

I'm not a professional Bible scholar, but I have been to church 3x a week for the past 28 years, I attended private Christian school for 8 years, and have read through my Bible cover to cover countless times (I did it the last time this past Spring). I know my Bible. I may interpret it differently than you, but I know what it says. It's written upon my heart. It is apart of my daily routine. I agree that quoting scriptures to people to who don't see the Bible as having any authority seems stupid, but I do it more for spiritual purposes. We don't wage war against flesh and blood (Eph. 6:12). Oops, there I go again.

The most frustrating thing about being apart of this community is that people get so worked up about something that they quit reading what has been written. I never said I was right. Obviously DH and I believe in spanking because of biblical teaching, but I never tried to convert any of you to believe that. When I was questioned on how I thought it was biblical, I defended my stance with articles and Scripture. That's all. Don't change the way you think because of me because that has never been my intention. I don't think I know more about anything than you or anyone else on here does. But I know what I believe and I'm not afraid to discuss it on here amongst folks who don't see it my way.

tigergreen · December 2010

Chrysallys:
ToledoDeux:

alybookgirl:
DH and I grew up with spankings. We will spank DD.

I will never understand this. You plan to spank your child? You can predict now, when she's still a baby, that she will someday do something that is worthy of being hit in response?

I don't even understand spanking in desperation - but as a planned, calculated discipline strategy? Totally bizarre.

I agree. To me this is just wrong, wrong, wrong.

I was spanked/whipped as a child and all it taught me was to be fearful and to immediately want to lash out and hit when I'm angry. I have to fight that urge even today.

and not everyone responds to spanking like you did.

bottom line: no study, no child psychologist, no book, can give a flat-out, straight-across-the-board answer as to what method of discipline will work best for your child.

not every child will lash out because they were spanked, just as not every child who is NOT spanked will be spoiled.

some kids will respond to certain methods better.

come on, people...use your heads. responsible spanking is not the devil, and it is not child abuse, as some people have worded it.

spanking is not supposed to be a knee-jerk reaction based on emotion...it's a consequence of a child's actions when other methods are not working.

if you want to get on your high horse about something, talk about the OP's story where the parent used hot sauce & a cold shower as discipline. THAT'S something that's jacked up.

nv40 · December 2010

Clearly the hot sauce and cold bath go beyond "normal", and borders abuse.

I grew up with parents that spanked, with a belt, and I don't see any major problem with that if used correctly and for the right reasons. I also think it depends on the child.

Honestly, most of you are women (obviously i am not)...and spanking a girl does seem like a tougher thing to swallow to me. For boys though, especially 10 year old strong willed, obnoxious, do anything to not listen for spite boys...which I myself was, these cutsy timeout timeout deals simply dont do it. Now, if you have a child who happens to respond to them...great...but not every child will, and I definitely didnt.

Me and my dad have a great relationship still, and he always made me aware that he didnt like spanking me...but I HAD CONTROL over whether punishment happened based on whether I made the right decisions. I see nothing wrong with that.

Having said all that, my only child is a girl and I dont think I could apply those same rules to her. If I ever have a boy, first I pray he wont be like I was as a kid, I could see myself following the same ideas as my parents if the situation called for it.

My main point is that whether you agree/disagree with spanking (not beating, that is different), its horribly self-centered to just tell someone off because they believe different.

Chrysallys · December 2010

tigergreen:
Chrysallys:
ToledoDeux:

alybookgirl:
DH and I grew up with spankings. We will spank DD.

I will never understand this. You plan to spank your child? You can predict now, when she's still a baby, that she will someday do something that is worthy of being hit in response?

I don't even understand spanking in desperation - but as a planned, calculated discipline strategy? Totally bizarre.

I agree. To me this is just wrong, wrong, wrong.

I was spanked/whipped as a child and all it taught me was to be fearful and to immediately want to lash out and hit when I'm angry. I have to fight that urge even today.

and not everyone responds to spanking like you did.

bottom line: no study, no child psychologist, no book, can give a flat-out, straight-across-the-board answer as to what method of discipline will work best for your child.

not every child will lash out because they were spanked, just as not every child who is NOT spanked will be spoiled.

some kids will respond to certain methods better.

come on, people...use your heads. responsible spanking is not the devil, and it is not child abuse, as some people have worded it.

spanking is not supposed to be a knee-jerk reaction based on emotion...it's a consequence of a child's actions when other methods are not working.

if you want to get on your high horse about something, talk about the OP's story where the parent used hot sauce & a cold shower as discipline. THAT'S something that's jacked up.

Defensive much?

I'm sorry, no amount of explainations from you is going to make me change my mind on spanking or feel you are in the right for hitting your child. None.

HIgh horse, my ass. Souds like you are the one on a horse.

nv40 · December 2010

Chrysallys:
tigergreen:
Chrysallys:
ToledoDeux:

alybookgirl:
DH and I grew up with spankings. We will spank DD.
I will never understand this. You plan to spank your child? You can predict now, when she's still a baby, that she will someday do something that is worthy of being hit in response?
I don't even understand spanking in desperation - but as a planned, calculated discipline strategy? Totally bizarre.
I agree. To me this is just wrong, wrong, wrong.
I was spanked/whipped as a child and all it taught me was to be fearful and to immediately want to lash out and hit when I'm angry. I have to fight that urge even today.
and not everyone responds to spanking like you did.
bottom line: no study, no child psychologist, no book, can give a flat-out, straight-across-the-board answer as to what method of discipline will work best for your child.
not every child will lash out because they were spanked, just as not every child who is NOT spanked will be spoiled.
some kids will respond to certain methods better.
come on, people...use your heads. responsible spanking is not the devil, and it is not child abuse, as some people have worded it.
spanking is not supposed to be a knee-jerk reaction based on emotion...it's a consequence of a child's actions when other methods are not working.
if you want to get on your high horse about something, talk about the OP's story where the parent used hot sauce & a cold shower as discipline. THAT'S something that's jacked up.
Defensive much?
I'm sorry, no amount of explainations from you is going to make me change my mind on spanking or feel you are in the right for hitting your child. None.
HIgh horse, my ass. Souds like you are the one on a horse.

I think the idea is that people don't want to convince you to think differently, but on the flipside..dont tell someone else how to raise their child.

tigergreen · December 2010

Chrysallys:
tigergreen:
and not everyone responds to spanking like you did.

bottom line: no study, no child psychologist, no book, can give a flat-out, straight-across-the-board answer as to what method of discipline will work best for your child.

not every child will lash out because they were spanked, just as not every child who is NOT spanked will be spoiled.

some kids will respond to certain methods better.

come on, people...use your heads. responsible spanking is not the devil, and it is not child abuse, as some people have worded it.

spanking is not supposed to be a knee-jerk reaction based on emotion...it's a consequence of a child's actions when other methods are not working.

if you want to get on your high horse about something, talk about the OP's story where the parent used hot sauce & a cold shower as discipline. THAT'S something that's jacked up.

Defensive much?

I'm sorry, no amount of explainations from you is going to make me change my mind on spanking or feel you are in the right for hitting your child. None.

HIgh horse, my ass. Souds like you are the one on a horse.

I'm not going to join in on your pissing match here; I could care less whether you do or you don't; that's not my decision, and not my problem.

Furthermore, I'm 100% confident in my decision that as a last resort, when other discipline methods aren't working, spanking will be an option in our house. It's not based on a verse in the Bible, it's based on what I've seen work. I'm not scarred, nor violent, nor do I have any residual psychological issues from my parents doing it, and neither does DH.

There are many forms of discipline...some work for some kids, some don't. If you don't choose to do it, so be it, but to condemn others because they are not leaving it out as an option? Come on...

No one who's opting to spank has been defensive or judgemental once on this thread that I've seen. If anything, they've been WAY more open-minded and accepting than the other side of the discussion.

ToledoDeux · December 2010

nv40:
I think the idea is that people don't want to convince you to think differently, but on the flipside..dont tell someone else how to raise their child.

Eh. When someone posts that they are using their interpretation of the Bible to justify definitely spanking their child someday....I reserve the right to call that stupid as hell and a shitty way to make parenting decisions.

Chrysallys · December 2010

nv40:

I think the idea is that people don't want to convince you to think differently, but on the flipside..dont tell someone else how to raise their child.

Oh look, you're back. How fun. I take it your wife alerted you to this post.

I'm not telling people how to parent. They can parent how they want. However, I am free to voice my opinion on the subject and share my experiences, of which I have a lot. That's the beauty of these boards, no?

Chrysallys · December 2010

tigergreen:

I'm not going to join in on your pissing match here

Oh but you are and you must care otherwise you would have stopped responding.;)

CalinsBride · December 2010

Can I just say that I find it utterly disturbing that people would say "Oh, girls don't need to be spanked, but boys do." That honestly just breaks my heart. There are so many things wrong with this that I just don't even know where to start. I just want to cry right now.

nv40 · December 2010

Chrysallys:
nv40:

I think the idea is that people don't want to convince you to think differently, but on the flipside..dont tell someone else how to raise their child.
Oh look, you're back. How fun. I take it your wife alerted you to this post.
I'm not telling people how to parent. They can parent how they want. However, I am free to voice my opinion on the subject and share my experiences, of which I have a lot. That's the beauty of these boards, no?

I agree...share away. I was simply replying to the part where you said nobody would ever convince you.

Echowysp · December 2010

alybookgirl:
Y'all all crack me up! No hard feelings on my end. We disagree. That's okay with me. I'm a Christian and I think that makes me a target for teasing and whatnot. I can handle it. Can we talk about something else now?

You're not being teased. You're having your beliefs challenged in a pretty respectful way.

nv40 · December 2010

ToledoDeux:
nv40:
I think the idea is that people don't want to convince you to think differently, but on the flipside..dont tell someone else how to raise their child.
Eh. When someone posts that they are using their interpretation of the Bible to justify definitely spanking their child someday....I reserve the right to call that stupid as hell and a shitty way to make parenting decisions.

I'm sorry, I didn't realize you happened to KNOW for sure that YOUR religion, or lack of..whatever you choice may be, was in fact the right one and everyone else is an idiot.

Having an opinion is one thing...and calling someone out based on facts that you can back up is one thing...but hopping on a high horse and looking down on someone over an idea that YOU cant prove/disprove yourself, that's "shitty and stupid as hell" to use your own words.

Want a personalized experience?

I got into a FB argument about spanking.

Re: I got into a FB argument about spanking.

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