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2nd Trimester
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The purpose of a registry
Okay, I'm sooooo grateful, really. But I spent a long time on that registry. It's all the stuff we need. And when you go and get things that aren't on it, like an ass-load of newborn clothes - yes they're cute - or buy something that somebody's already bought from the registry, or buy the off brand boppy with all the extra crap on it I don't need - it just makes everything hard. This is why we have registries, and why we bother to print out a little card in the invitation telling you where it is: So you can just buy me the stuff I need and want. To avoid buying triples of the excercise mat, so that I don't end up with a hell of a lot of cute clothes and no bathtub, no stroller, and no diapers. So YOU don't waste your hard-earned money. All those onesies with the little feet and the little hats are awesome, but my baby's butt needs to be wiped forty times a day and we might just be using those onesies instead of wipes, especially when he grows out of said onesies in three months. I know you mean well, and I really, really am grateful. But please, stick to the gameplan.
Okay. I'm done now. Whew. Felt good.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: The purpose of a registry
Yep, I sure can. But the purpose of the registry is so I don't have to!
And some of the duplicate things don't come from the place where I registered nor are they carried in-store, so I'm effectively stuck with it.
Are they on any registry at all? Some registries allow you to put how many have been bought yourself. So, if you're registered at BRU for example and you got 2 of something you registered for there, could you return one of them? Not completely dishonest since the one you returned could have been bought from there. I've heard of this on other boards, thought I'd share. Even if they give you store credit you could use it to buy wipes or other things from there you need.
I feel ya.
1. don't buy me anything I didn't register for. Period. It's called a gift card if you don't like the stuff I picked out.
2. If you buy him Michigan State gear knowing I am a Michigan fan - know that your purchase will be used to clean up poop and a pic will go on facebook - you asked for it.
3. If you buy me crap I didn't register for - know it's going back and don't get pissy about it. That's how my world works
I straight up disowned people who got me ugly junk for our wedding. Don't get us anything at all if you're going to stick me with this disaster!
It's called a gift, period, and there's this whole idea of it "being the thought that counts."
People are under no obligation to spend their money on other people, or to supply you with items for YOUR child. They do so out of kindness and a desire to show their excitment for this blessing.
I am thankful for anyone taking time out to get us something - if it is not on our registry and not something we have a use for, I will exchange it after expressing my deep and sincere thanks for thinking of us in the first place. If I cannot return or exchange, we will donate to Goodwill/Salvation Army. There are plenty of people out there who would be happy to have those unwanted items.
And that was my approach to wedding gifts as well.
I would like to say you sound like an ungrateful, spoiled, bratty little biitch.
Personally, I think you should be glad you got anything. Go buy your own damn stroller. We did. Go buy a couple cases of diapers yourself. We did. A registry is a GUIDE, not a requirement. We bought tons of stuff for ourselves, and still are buying things. YOU got knocked up so why should they be required to buy you anything. Anything they give is a nice gesture. It's not their job.
You should send them all back to the givers, and have nothing.
Wow. I would have loved to see what you wrote on your thank you notes.
And the purpose of a baby shower isn't to outfit you with everything you could possibly need for your child. YWIA.
Sometimes items on registries don't update right away and the duplicates are accidental.
Wait, you mean I might have to buy stuff for MY KID! Holy crap, I didn't know that. Is it too late to just give the baby back?
You sound like an ungrateful, spoiled brat. If you can't use it, how about turning it into a positive and donating to a women's shelter or someone else who would truly be appreciative.
Yikes! It must be hard to have such good taste and class and be surrounded by cretins who can't even figure out how to gift things to you appropriately. Poor lady, I hope you are able to find some better people to surround yourself with soon.
Screw that. I need to get my nails did. I was planning on everyone else buying everything I needed for her.
She probably didn't send any, unless someone bought her some.
LMFAO!!!!!!! Nor will baby get a bath, diapers, wipes or a car seat, 'cuz no one bought one for her. Grow up, OP. You are pg, it's YOUR baby, and people gave you gifts from their heart. They dont' owe you JACK.
Twin boys born too early at 17w4d and 18w2d in February 2010
Transabdominal cerclage placed September 2010
DS born at 35w1d in February 2011
Twin girls born at exactly 36w in February 2013
As usual, I agree with ambrandau. You are the one having a baby; it is your responsibility to provide the things that baby needs. Gifts are just that...gifts. If you don't like it, don't use it, but don't complain about it! Registries are suggestions. Get over yourself...you sound like an ungrateful whiny brat.
Holy ungratefulness Batman! I just had my baby shower and I am genuinely grateful for all the gifts my babies received. Why? Because no one owes anyone else a damned thing. All my attendees were kind enough to spend their time, money and energy to shop for my boys.
If you are so hard up you needed specific items from your registry, perhaps you are not in the best position to be having children. As many other posters have stated, this is your child and your responsibility.
Wow, aren't you a peach.
Ditto this times eleventy billion.
Maybe you should have done this Cartman-like...put on the invitation exactly what gift you want from each person.
Man, that's what I thought when I read that line.
People don't look/care about registries.
You can return what you don't need.
Wow I just puked a little in my throat and it's not from morning sickness.
This sounds like the kind of person who would *** and moan over getting a gorgeous handmade baby blanket or hand-stitched outfit instead of the latest piece of plastic crap the Baby Industrial Complex tells moms they need.
You sound like my SIL. She actually sent a hateful letter to her friend that didn't attend her baby shower and disowned her. She also did the same thing to another friend who didn't come to her son's birthday party. Guess what ? She doesn't have any friends left. MIL is her only friend.
If I were to show this kind of "gratitude" for ANYTHING I was ever given, my mom would beat the hell out of me. (Even at 25 years old.)
If I were friends with you, OP, you wouldn't get a damned thing from me...except maybe a kick in the a$$.
I hear ya! I haven't had my baby showers yet, but I had similar experiences with our bridal registry. My DH's family mostly gave us, well regifted crap. Either stick with the registry or give a check. It's not that hard people. And wedding things are just "nice" not a necessity like baby stuff!!!
Whatever happened to "it's the thought that counts"? You people are so freakin ungrateful no matter how many times you profess to be "so grateful". They thought enough of you to get you a gift. It truly shouldn't matter WHAT they got you. Christ people, grow up.
It is YOUR responsibility to buy necessities for YOUR baby. Taking it one step further, it was YOUR responsiblity upon your marriage to buy items for YOUR home and life together. Are gifts lovely, and thoughtful, and nice to get? Of course!
But it is not even close to a requirement of the people around you to supply you with items, be they items you asked for or not. They could get you nothing, and that would be well within their right to do so.
Cheese on toast, people. I'm on a really strict budget, and am fully prepared to purchase everything my baby will need. If family and friends offer us a gift to help out, how wonderful and amazing of them. But I am not counting on others to supply us with the things we will need.
Holy wow, I feel there's a lot of pent-up aggression and resentment in this post...or a lot of high-and-mighty. OP was obviously venting and she started the post by saying she was grateful so chillax.
I can see where she's coming from but I'm also the type that hates to receive ANY gift. I think it's more of an inconvenience having to return gifts, fake excitement at receiving them, and wasting time and energy putting together a registry.
We made a strict rule that our shower host and family reinforced: DONATE THE MONEY TO CHARITY or bring your favorite book--duplicates will be donated to the local Children's Hospital.
She says she's grateful but her words don't back her up. As many people have pointed out, no one is required to buy her gifts. Baby stuff is her responsibility. Anything she gets from someone else is just icing on the cake. If returning is a PITA, don't return it. Donate it. But don't biitch about people not sticking to the "shopping list".
She was venting. Give her a break. What do you get out of continuing to attack/criticize her? Will she learn to be grateful that way? I'm sure the criticism will now turn to me, which is fine. I'm just sayin'...respect that she has a different opinion/modus operandi.
Yep, I was venting. Sounds like I gave everybody else a reason to vent too, so I'm glad I can be that person. Just another hormonal pregnant chick having a bad moment, I guess. Feel free to let me be your whipping post.
I hope I made all of your days better
You are not only acting like a spoiled little brat, but now you are a completely ignorant spoiled brat.
You completely contradict the fact that you are "grateful" by everything that followed your first statement so if people see that you are ungrateful it's because of your own statements. Don't be pissed that you are being called out. No one wrote this post for you, right?