stupid and potentially culturally insensitive question

pawcall · November 2010

We celebrate Christmas, but have several Jewish friends. Is it wrong to send them our card? It doesn't say "Christmas" on it (we go with a generic "happy holidays" type thing) but it DOES have pictures of our cats dressed up in Christmas outfits.

Should I skip people that I know don't celebrate Christmas? Or is it still okay to send it?

wishingforpositive21 · November 2010

I would says send! Especially if it is just a happy holidays card! Then again I am not Jewish so this is just an opinion!

chicky1231 · November 2010

I personally see no problem with it, especially cause it says happy holidays....I'm a person that hates the whole "Happy Holidays" wording and I only use it on someone who's religion I don't know....Other then that I'm all about "Merry Christmas"

cera.rn · November 2010

I would send it as long as it says "Happy Holidays" rather than "Merry Christmas".

tinytraxx · November 2010

I say send it. Its no secret to them that you celebrate it so I think its ok.

broccolitree · November 2010

If they're close friends and you know how they'll receive it, then send it. If it's like, your mom's cousin's BFF's daughter's milkman, I'd skip it.

NJBrit · November 2010

I wonder about this as well. We have a lot of friends in "mixed" households (one is Jewish, the other is Christian... some are Jewish but celebrate Christian holidays or vice versa).

skoogirl · November 2010

I send my Merry Christmas cards to my Jewish friends and they like them. Depends on your friends probably. I try to buy a box of cards that says Happy Holidays, but don't always. I also have friends who are Jehovah's witnesses (who don't celebrate any holidays), but they like receiving cards too, but I doubt all such JWs would feel similarly.

tinytraxx · November 2010

Just wanted to add one more thing. Most of our friends are from different cultures. Mostly Fijian (so Hindi), Asian and Jewish. This is why I purposely buy the "Happy Hoildays" or "Seasons Greetings" cards every year. So that I CAN send them cards. The cards have always been appreciated by them even if they dont reciprocate.

columbiamommy · November 2010

I always get at least some, if not all, cards that say "Happy Holidays" with generic winter designs. We only have a few Jewish friends, but I always send them a card.

mishu917 · November 2010

Tinytraxx:
Just wanted to add one more thing. Most of our friends are from different cultures. Mostly Fijian (so Hindi), Asian and Jewish. This is why I purposely buy the "Happy Hoildays" or "Seasons Greetings" cards every year. So that I CAN send them cards. The cards have always been appreciated by them even if they dont reciprocate.

Just for the record, Hindi is a language

OP: DH's family are of Jewish descent but send out Happy Holidays cards.... it's all about the different holidays in the season not just Christmas, so therefore I am sure it won't offend your friends.

tinytraxx · November 2010

mishu917:

Tinytraxx:
Just wanted to add one more thing. Most of our friends are from different cultures. Mostly Fijian (so Hindi), Asian and Jewish. This is why I purposely buy the "Happy Hoildays" or "Seasons Greetings" cards every year. So that I CAN send them cards. The cards have always been appreciated by them even if they dont reciprocate.

Just for the record, Hindi is a language

OP: DH's family are of Jewish descent but send out Happy Holidays cards.... it's all about the different holidays in the season not just Christmas, so therefore I am sure it won't offend your friends.

Oops. I stand corrected. Hindu.

KatInTheHat28 · November 2010

Send it! DH and his family are Jewish and they get cards from lots of families that say "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays." We always send out a "Happy Holidays" card just to cover our bases since we celebrate both holidays and we have lots of Jewish friends.

kierstensteck · November 2010

Just to throw my two cents in, my question would be, would you be offended if they sent you a Hanukkah card?

NJBrit · November 2010

kierstensteck:
Just to throw my two cents in, my question would be, would you be offended if they sent you a Hanukkah card?

This is what I was thinking too. I really would not care, I would just be happy that someone was thinking of me enough during the holiday season to send a card.

izzourclue · November 2010

I wouldn't send them a card that's obviously Christmas related (ie your cats dressed in Santa garb). I would however, send Jewish friends Happy Holidays cards. Personally, it comes across as trying to convert them to send them cards associated with the Christian holiday. Even if it doesn't specifically say Merry Christmas on it. JMO.

dxiechicken41 · November 2010

Spread the cheer. No one's going to change their religion over a holiday card.

Tracy6450 · November 2010

I send Happy Holiday cards to my Jewish friends and they send me Happy Holiday cards as well. I think it's perfectly fine.

pawcall · November 2010

NJBrit:
kierstensteck:
Just to throw my two cents in, my question would be, would you be offended if they sent you a Hanukkah card?
This is what I was thinking too. I really would not care, I would just be happy that someone was thinking of me enough during the holiday season to send a card.

Exactly, I this is how I feel too. I normally keep the cards nonspecific (so, happy holidays) but this year I wasn't thinking and put the Christmas cat picture on it.

pawcall · November 2010

izzourclue:
I wouldn't send them a card that's obviously Christmas related (ie your cats dressed in Santa garb). I would however, send Jewish friends Happy Holidays cards. Personally, it comes across as trying to convert them to send them cards associated with the Christian holiday. Even if it doesn't specifically say Merry Christmas on it. JMO.

This is what worries me. Bah.

tfarabians · November 2010

My jewish friends send me Chanukah cards and I'm not offended. That said I don't send super religious cards. Our card this year says "Happy a holly jolly christmas"

mommajen8 · November 2010

this is coming from some who is jewish and no i dont mind getting a happy holidays card from anyone! in fact i send out a happy holidays card encompassing the whole season!

izzourclue · November 2010

mommajen8:
this is coming from some who is jewish and no i dont mind getting a happy holidays card from anyone! in fact i send out a happy holidays card encompassing the whole season!

But how do you feel if someone sends you a Merry Christmas card or a card that says Happy Holidays but is obviously themed for Christmas and not neutral?

patter01 · November 2010

I think it's totally fine - I send and receive cards from friends of different cultures and religions and it's fun to see the different ways everyone celebrates. The US is a melting pot after all.

MrsYam · November 2010

cdobry01:
izzourclue:
I wouldn't send them a card that's obviously Christmas related (ie your cats dressed in Santa garb). I would however, send Jewish friends Happy Holidays cards. Personally, it comes across as trying to convert them to send them cards associated with the Christian holiday. Even if it doesn't specifically say Merry Christmas on it. JMO.
This is what worries me. Bah.

Its kitties dressed as Santa, not a card that has Bible verses. I don't think that means you're trying to convert them to Christianity.

I say send them to everyone. I personally would love to have different cards other than Christmas.

mzclaire · November 2010

I agree with Mrs. Yam. If your cats are dressed as Santa and his elves, that's OK. If your cats are dressed as Mary and baby Jesus... that's weird for lots of reasons.

If the message on the card is just "happy holidays" then send it. Santa is so removed from the "real meaning" of Christmas that even my Buddhist friends put up a tree and give each other presents from "Santa."

izzourclue · November 2010

patter01:
I think it's totally fine - I send and receive cards from friends of different cultures and religions and it's fun to see the different ways everyone celebrates. The US is a melting pot after all.

They aren't celebrating the same thing different ways. They are celebrating 2 completely different holidays that happen to fall in the same month. I do agree that it kind of depends on who you are sending it to as far as how religious they are and how much religion plays into the holiday season for them. However, when you send a Jewish person a Christian holiday card wishing them a Merry Christmas its a little insensitive and comes across as either you don't understand the difference between the religions and the holidays or you just don't care and think everyone should celebrate/recognize Jesus' birth as the Son of God.

Its also not the same IMO as sending a Christian a Chanukah card because Chanukah, while a Jewish holiday, does not have to exclude Christians because Christians also recognize the Old Testament. Where the 2 religions split is the New Testament and the birth of Christ (Christmas) and Christians have either been trying to convert Jews or persecute them ever since based on the birth and death of Christ.

I would send Jewish friends non-denominational Holiday or Winter cards or an actual Chanukah card. Not that hard to get a few specific ones to recognize other's cultures/religions and not just assume they want to recognize mine.

I will step off of my soap box now but religious intolerance bugs me. DH's Southern Baptist family has been trying to "save" us for years.

izzourclue · November 2010

mzclaire:
I agree with Mrs. Yam. If your cats are dressed as Santa and his elves, that's OK. If your cats are dressed as Mary and baby Jesus... that's weird for lots of reasons.

If the message on the card is just "happy holidays" then send it. Santa is so removed from the "real meaning" of Christmas that even my Buddhist friends put up a tree and give each other presents from "Santa."

If they are non-Christians that you know celebrate Santa/trees/presents etc... that's fine. If that's not the case, then not fine.

bella11011 · November 2010

I'm Jewish and I love getting holiday cards...no matter Chanukah, Christmas or generic holiday cards. I even have some very religious friends whose Christmas cards have Bible verses on them. I just like being remembered! And, I'd say a cat dressed like Santa is cute. It wouldn't bother me at all!

girllennon · November 2010

I am Jewish, but converted to Catholicism last year, and I still get Hanukah cards or Jewish New Year's cards from my family. Some members also send me Happy Holidays cards and do send their X-mas wishes. It really depends on the family and how open-minded they are.

I'm sure by this time next year, my family will be dying to get a holiday card with a picture from us. To me, it shouldn't really matter. You shouldn't have to skip sending them a Christmas cards just because they don't celebrate that holiday. Do they send you any Jewish holiday cards?

RedZee · November 2010

izzourclue:
patter01:
I think it's totally fine - I send and receive cards from friends of different cultures and religions and it's fun to see the different ways everyone celebrates. The US is a melting pot after all.

They aren't celebrating the same thing different ways. They are celebrating 2 completely different holidays that happen to fall in the same month. I do agree that it kind of depends on who you are sending it to as far as how religious they are and how much religion plays into the holiday season for them. However, when you send a Jewish person a Christian holiday card wishing them a Merry Christmas its a little insensitive and comes across as either you don't understand the difference between the religions and the holidays or you just don't care and think everyone should celebrate/recognize Jesus' birth as the Son of God.
Its also not the same IMO as sending a Christian a Chanukah card because Chanukah, while a Jewish holiday, does not have to exclude Christians because Christians also recognize the Old Testament. Where the 2 religions split is the New Testament and the birth of Christ (Christmas) and Christians have either been trying to convert Jews or persecute them ever since based on the birth and death of Christ.
I would send Jewish friends non-denominational Holiday or Winter cards or an actual Chanukah card. Not that hard to get a few specific ones to recognize other's cultures/religions and not just assume they want to recognize mine.
I will step off of my soap box now but religious intolerance bugs me. DH's Southern Baptist family has been trying to "save" us for years.

I'm Jewish and pretty observant. I do not get offended when people send me cards, regardless of the specific wording on the holiday greeting. Honestly, 'happy holidays' isn't significantly more inclusive than 'merry christmas', IMO. The cards are still sent around Christmas, not around Chanukah. And for more observant Jews, Hanukah isn't really SUCH a big deal - it's a fairly minor holiday compared to other holidays.

I appreciate the sentiment regarding persecution of Jews, but the holiday cards really don't compare to real persecution. And anyway, we're all inundated with Christmas this time of year so a card doesn't make it suddenly so much more overwhelming. In general, it's nice to thought of by friends and I really don't find it at all offensive.

That said, if it were a card with Jesus on it, I might feel differently.

And remember, if someone really doesn't like the card, they can always throw it away!

I just really wouldn't worry about this. I believe that people are always more offended by being excluded, even if it's something they weren't interested in, than by being included.

MN Momma 2011 · November 2010

My DH and I both have aunts that have converted. My aunt is a little sensitive when it comes to what the card actually says. On the other hand my DH's aunt does not care... Because my aunt is sensitive to this topic I always have the greeting of our cards say "Happy Holidays"... I just don't want to hear the nasty comments that may come from her... Sad, I know!

RHitch · November 2010

I wouldn't send it. Some of my in-laws are Jehovah Witnesses, so out of respect I do not send them Christmas Cards or invites to Birthday parties. It may be different for Jewish people though since they do celebrate the Holidays. My in-laws do not celebrate at all.