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Baby Showers
My mom can't throw my shower?
Is this true? She threw a beautiful shower for my sister. My cousin and I helped, but I was about 14 and my cousin was 18 so we were helpers, not hosts. Is this really faux pas to do this? I kind of expected my mom & sister to do mine. (my sister mentioned to me already about her & mom being in charge..) My mom would likely fund the whole thing.
Is this cultural? because I think Ive been to several Showers hosted by the mother-to-be or bride-to-be's mother.
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Re: My mom can't throw my shower?
I personally think it is fine for mom to throw her DD a baby shower. My mom would be appalled though .She was pretty appalled that MIL threw me one, to be honest.
I think it's more regional and generational, to be honest. I have thought nothing of moms throwing my pregnant friends baby showers.
My little man at 0-1-2
I think that traditional rules of etiquette say the the mom-to-be or mother/MIL should not host.
However, for both my bridal and baby shower, my mother and MIL planned and did everything. They put my sister's name on the invitation as the RSVP person so it was not "them" but in reality - it was!
It's important to know WHY people think it's a faux pas.
The idea is that a shower is a request for gifts. Let's not kid ourselves. It's little more than that. A shower invitation is basically saying please come over and bring gifts for _____. Now look at it with a mom hosting in mind. Please come and bring gifts for my daughter does sound kind of tacky. Even WORSE is Please come and bring gifts for me. Which is why no one should ever ever ever host their own shower.
That being said, I think this is mostly old-fashioned thinking. Families used to be much closer - living near by or even together in some situations. A mother could actually possibly profit from the bringing of gifts and money to her daughter. Nowadays with the ways that families are so spread out, no one believes that a mom or sister is going to be getting anything out of it. I am the first person to flash the etiquette badge on this board and I think it's perfectly ok for a close family member to host.
It's still never ok to host your own.
My MIL and SIL hosted my shower but I would have been fine with my mom hosting too.
I agree "somewhat" with Ms.Jade. It is definitely against proper etiquette rules for a new mom-to-be's mother OR sister to host a baby shower (same with a bridal shower) for the reasons's mentioned. I don't think it is old-fashioned thinking. It is just proper etiquette. Do people follows the rules of etiquette? Rarely. I think it has gotten harder to follow the rules of etiquette in some instances...just as Ms.Jade posted...families no longer live near each other and many are not very close to aunts or cousins who normally would host a shower. It is still done though. I had 3 showers and my mother or sister didn't host any of them. My aunt hosted one, a friend hosted another, and a co-worker hosted the third one.
Some etiquette rules should always be followed:
Never host your own shower (even if you pay for it and plan it).
Always RSVP!!!
This is me exactly, and I am very grateful!
I don't think there is anything wrong with your mom and sister hosting your shower. It is not frowned upon at ALL where I live and is in fact quite common.
If you have your heart set on your mom hosting your shower I say go for it.