all of the moms that judge people without knowing their story.
People judge others without knowing them or their situation. Maybe they made one wrong decision, maybe they had an emergency and left the house without a jacket on their LO. Maybe some cultures feed soup to babies before you think they are ready.
Unless they are beating or abusing or purposely putting their child in danger who am I to judge?
Re: Can I tell you what's judgeable?
So if someone wanted to put their child in daycare for one day so they could clean their house...
Yeah, I think that's a very good point. I mean, sometimes you do have enough information and it really is judgeable.
But I try not to assume.
And there's something I remind myself of if I'm tempted to judge without knowing the person (WARNING: SENSITIVE):
My sister is nannying for two little girls. Their mother had PPD and committed suicide about a year ago, when "Allie" was 3.5 years and the baby was 4 months old. Allie was actually with her dad when they found her mommy's body.
She has been in counseling over the past year, of course, but obviously has been incredibly traumatized by what she saw (not to mention the chaos of that night, with Daddy trying to do CPR, Allie saying, "Why isn't my mommy moving??", the EMTs and police coming, etc.) as well as being suddenly motherless. And you know what? She's regressed a little. Started taking a paci again. Her counselor said it's OK, not to worry about it at this point, that she absolutely needs whatever harmless self-soothing mechanisms she can find.
Recently my sister was out at a store with the girls, and the cashier started giving Allie a hard time about it, saying, "What are you doing with a paci? You're too old to have a paci!" And you know what? I don't want to be that person. I HATE that after everything that little girl has been through, that random strangers are going to give her a hard time about her damn paci. So sure, maybe there are plenty of times where judgment is warranted, but I'd rather give people the benefit of the doubt--mentally as well as verbally--than take the chance of judging the Allies of this world. (Or moms of special needs kids who get judged all the time by people who don't understand, etc., etc.)
If you read my post I apologized and said i didn't mean to come off as judging. I just meant that I want to spend any extra time with Ds.
If it's the post I'm thinking of, that was NOT MrsN22. I think that person was a newbie poster or an AE.
Everyone judges at one point. It's what you do next that counts.
I do judge, but it's not as if I actually come out and say something. I know all too well what I overheard people say, when they saw me out with ds, and thought he was newborn, but was really 3 months old. Or having to explain to everyone the whole first year of ds's life why he wasn't crawling.
I believe that was Jackieobride.
Oops, sorry! I stand corrected.
And we had grilled chese for dinner tonight
This it is natural to judge.... People just need to learn when to keep it to themselves.
We're on an internet message board. I don't think it's past the realm of possibility that we would share things here with each other we would NEVER say to a person in real life.
I would never say to a woman I don't know "your 5 year old shouldn't still be rocking that paci" but I sure have the freedom to post how I feel about that on here.
I only judge people who get state funded health insurance b/c they can't afford it yet they can afford to get their nails done, eat dinner out and buy a DSLR camera. oh and they still receive said insurance even after admitting that they can afford it but don't want to fess up to the state. yep, it is you that I judge.
That is true, but it was also Mrs N22, who after she got flamed to high helll about that post, said she had not fully considered the consequences, or realized what a bad decision she had made, and would never do it again.
Yep. Judge away.
When you said "you", were you referring to the OP or "you" in general? Just curious and intrigued.
She means the original poster.
She also said she was stalked in real life...I've been around and remember the IHH days.
Did you have a previous SN? Assuming you did because of your join date. Anyway, ya, I remember that, too. I can't remember whose husband she contacted outside of the bump but that was rather freaky.
U dont Kno my LyFe!!
For those of you that are clueless, Dot stalked me. Not me stalking her. She posted my work and home info, and had people email my husband.
So I don't know what you are judging.
Can we judge the insinuation you made about your friend's wife offing her child?
Sure..especially since she is under investigation.
Linky to the news story?