Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Can I tell you what's judgeable?

all of the moms that judge people without knowing their story. 

People judge others without knowing them or their situation.  Maybe they made one wrong decision, maybe they had an emergency and left the house without a jacket on their LO.  Maybe some cultures feed soup to babies before you think they are ready.

 Unless they are beating or abusing or purposely putting their child in danger who am I to judge?

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Re: Can I tell you what's judgeable?

  • I couldn't agree with you more!  Unfortunately, my sister is one of those people who loves to judge - especially me now that I have a LO.  So annoying. 
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  • So if someone wanted to put their child in daycare for one day so they could clean their house...


    S- March 09 E- Feb 12 L- May 15


  • I agree with you. It's nice to see this side of you.
  • Yeah, I think that's a very good point. I mean, sometimes you do have enough information and it really is judgeable. ;) But I try not to assume.

    And there's something I remind myself of if I'm tempted to judge without knowing the person (WARNING: SENSITIVE):

     

     

     

    My sister is nannying for two little girls. Their mother had PPD and committed suicide about a year ago, when "Allie" was 3.5 years and the baby was 4 months old. Allie was actually with her dad when they found her mommy's body.

    She has been in counseling over the past year, of course, but obviously has been incredibly traumatized by what she saw (not to mention the chaos of that night, with Daddy trying to do CPR, Allie saying, "Why isn't my mommy moving??", the EMTs and police coming, etc.) as well as being suddenly motherless. And you know what? She's regressed a little. Started taking a paci again. Her counselor said it's OK, not to worry about it at this point, that she absolutely needs whatever harmless self-soothing mechanisms she can find.

    Recently my sister was out at a store with the girls, and the cashier started giving Allie a hard time about it, saying, "What are you doing with a paci? You're too old to have a paci!" And you know what? I don't want to be that person. I HATE that after everything that little girl has been through, that random strangers are going to give her a hard time about her damn paci. So sure, maybe there are plenty of times where judgment is warranted, but I'd rather give people the benefit of the doubt--mentally as well as verbally--than take the chance of judging the Allies of this world. (Or moms of special needs kids who get judged all the time by people who don't understand, etc., etc.)

    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
  • Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it you that posted a huge vent about how you feed your child organic, and grilled cheese is the devil???
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  • imagesunnyday016:

    So if someone wanted to put their child in daycare for one day so they could clean their house...


    If you read my post I apologized and said i didn't mean to come off as judging. I just meant that I want to spend any extra time with Ds.

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  • I agree with you about some things, but the soup thing is a little extreme - perhaps other cultures do it, but here there are actual medical reasons we're told not to. It's not really just a judgment call on the part of the parents when babies are 6 weeks old! To me, that's similar to our parents saying, "We did it for you and you were fine." That may be true, but if there are advancements and research to back up certain recommendations, I'm going to listen to them.
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  • imageCalinsBride:
    Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it you that posted a huge vent about how you feed your child organic, and grilled cheese is the devil???

    If it's the post I'm thinking of, that was NOT MrsN22. I think that person was a newbie poster or an AE.

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  • imageCalinsBride:
    Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it you that posted a huge vent about how you feed your child organic, and grilled cheese is the devil???
    You are wrong. I never said that. Jack's favorite thing is grilled cheese!
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  • imageCalinsBride:
    Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it you that posted a huge vent about how you feed your child organic, and grilled cheese is the devil???
    You are wrong. I never said that. Jack's favorite thing is grilled cheese!
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  • I confess that I am super judgey. But my judgment and $4.95 will get you a venti latte. I generally keep my opinions and judgements to myself, precisely because you never know what the whole story is. Oh, and because it's really none of my business.
  • I totally understand what you are saying and in many cases I do exactly as you are saying and sit back, wondering what this person's life is like that has caused them to do x,y,z... but I think part of it is just human nature.  People judge, and compare and gauge their own worth and the job they are doing based on what everyone else is doing.
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  • imageljlkm:
    I confess that I am super judgey. But my judgment and $4.95 will get you a venti latte. I generally keep my opinions and judgements to myself, precisely because you never know what the whole story is. Oh, and because it's really none of my business.

    Everyone judges at one point. It's what you do next that counts. 

  • I do judge, but it's not as if I actually come out and say something.  I know all too well what I overheard people say, when they saw me out with ds, and thought he was newborn, but was really 3 months old.  Or having to explain to everyone the whole first year of ds's life why he wasn't crawling.  

     

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  • imageCalinsBride:
    Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it you that posted a huge vent about how you feed your child organic, and grilled cheese is the devil???

    I believe that was Jackieobride.

  • I try my best not to judge, but sometimes I do.
  • imagemrs.n22:
    imageCalinsBride:
    Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it you that posted a huge vent about how you feed your child organic, and grilled cheese is the devil???
    You are wrong. I never said that. Jack's favorite thing is grilled cheese!

    Oops, sorry! I stand corrected.

    And we had grilled chese for dinner tonight Embarrassed

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  • imageAfterAll:
    I totally understand what you are saying and in many cases I do exactly as you are saying and sit back, wondering what this person's life is like that has caused them to do x,y,z... but I think part of it is just human nature.  People judge, and compare and gauge their own worth and the job they are doing based on what everyone else is doing.

    This it is natural to judge.... People just need to learn when to keep it to themselves.

  • We're on an internet message board. I don't think it's past the realm of possibility that we would share things here with each other we would NEVER say to a person in real life.

    I would never say to a woman I don't know "your 5 year old shouldn't still be rocking that paci" but I sure have the freedom to post how I feel about that on here.

    Um, yeah. The Bump be too crazy for pics of my kid.
  • imagemfransdell:

    imageCalinsBride:
    Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it you that posted a huge vent about how you feed your child organic, and grilled cheese is the devil???

    I believe that was Jackieobride.

    You are right. BUT it was mrsn22 who had no carseat, so she HAD to have her dad pick her up to drive her somewhere so she could hold her LO in her lap during the car trip. Does that count as putting your child in danger?
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  • I only judge people who get state funded health insurance b/c they can't afford it yet they can afford to get their nails done, eat dinner out and buy a DSLR camera.  oh and they still receive said insurance even after admitting that they can afford it but don't want to fess up to the state.  yep, it is you that I judge.

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  • imageTommysGirl56:
    imagemfransdell:

    imageCalinsBride:
    Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it you that posted a huge vent about how you feed your child organic, and grilled cheese is the devil???

    I believe that was Jackieobride.

    You are right. BUT it was mrsn22 who had no carseat, so she HAD to have her dad pick her up to drive her somewhere so she could hold her LO in her lap during the car trip. Does that count as putting your child in danger?

    That is true, but it was also Mrs N22, who after she got flamed to high helll about that post, said she had not fully considered  the consequences, or realized what a bad decision she had made, and would never do it again.


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  • imageTommysGirl56:
    imagemfransdell:

    imageCalinsBride:
    Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it you that posted a huge vent about how you feed your child organic, and grilled cheese is the devil???

    I believe that was Jackieobride.

    You are right. BUT it was mrsn22 who had no carseat, so she HAD to have her dad pick her up to drive her somewhere so she could hold her LO in her lap during the car trip. Does that count as putting your child in danger?

    Surprise 

    S- March 09 E- Feb 12 L- May 15


  • imageTommysGirl56:
    imagemfransdell:

    imageCalinsBride:
    Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it you that posted a huge vent about how you feed your child organic, and grilled cheese is the devil???

    I believe that was Jackieobride.

    You are right. BUT it was mrsn22 who had no carseat, so she HAD to have her dad pick her up to drive her somewhere so she could hold her LO in her lap during the car trip. Does that count as putting your child in danger?

    Yep. Judge away.

  • imageAggieDee:

    I only judge people who get state funded health insurance b/c they can't afford it yet they can afford to get their nails done, eat dinner out and buy a DSLR camera.  oh and they still receive said insurance even after admitting that they can afford it but don't want to fess up to the state.  yep, it is you that I judge.

    When you said "you", were you referring to the OP or "you" in general? Just curious and intrigued.

  • imageJenniferTCU:

    When you said "you", were you referring to the OP or "you" in general? Just curious and intrigued.

    She means the original poster.

  • Oh my. I seem to have missed way too much. I think I am only in touch enough to know that the OP is the artist formerly known as ihh and was accused of stalking, etc. But other than that, this is all new found gooey, goodness. And before anyone jumps on me, I never accused OP of anything- just restated previous allegations.
  • imageJenniferTCU:
    Oh my. I seem to have missed way too much. I think I am only in touch enough to know that the OP is the artist formerly known as ihh and was accused of stalking, etc. But other than that, this is all new found gooey, goodness. And before anyone jumps on me, I never accused OP of anything- just restated previous allegations.

    She also said she was stalked in real life...I've been around and remember the IHH days. 

  • imageFerreraRochermmm:

    imageJenniferTCU:
    Oh my. I seem to have missed way too much. I think I am only in touch enough to know that the OP is the artist formerly known as ihh and was accused of stalking, etc. But other than that, this is all new found gooey, goodness. And before anyone jumps on me, I never accused OP of anything- just restated previous allegations.

    She also said she was stalked in real life...I've been around and remember the IHH days. 

    Did you have a previous SN? Assuming you did because of your join date. Anyway, ya, I remember that, too. I can't remember whose husband she contacted outside of the bump but that was rather freaky.

  • No baby's digestive system is ready for soup at 6 weeks, no matter what culture you are from. The end.
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  • imageChrysallys:
    No baby's digestive system is ready for soup at 6 weeks, no matter what culture you are from. The end.
    Want to hold hands? When did you and I become soul mates?
  • imageChrysallys:
    No baby's digestive system is ready for soup at 6 weeks, no matter what culture you are from. The end.

    U dont Kno my LyFe!! 

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  • imagesam19:

    imageChrysallys:
    No baby's digestive system is ready for soup at 6 weeks, no matter what culture you are from. The end.

    U dont Kno my LyFe!! 

    But I know what you did last summer Wink
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  • For those of you that are clueless, Dot stalked me.  Not me stalking her.  She posted my work and home info, and had people email my husband.

    So I don't know what you are judging.

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  • imagemrs.n22:

    For those of you that are clueless, Dot stalked me.  Not me stalking her.  She posted my work and home info, and had people email my husband.

    So I don't know what you are judging.

    Can we judge the insinuation you made about your friend's wife offing her child?

  • imageTonya_G:
    imagemrs.n22:

    For those of you that are clueless, Dot stalked me.  Not me stalking her.  She posted my work and home info, and had people email my husband.

    So I don't know what you are judging.

    Can we judge the insinuation you made about your friend's wife offing her child?

    Sure..especially since she is under investigation.

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  • imagemrs.n22:
    imageTonya_G:
    imagemrs.n22:

    For those of you that are clueless, Dot stalked me.  Not me stalking her.  She posted my work and home info, and had people email my husband.

    So I don't know what you are judging.

    Can we judge the insinuation you made about your friend's wife offing her child?

    Sure..especially since she is under investigation.

    Linky to the news story?

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  • imageJenniferTCU:
    imageFerreraRochermmm:

    imageJenniferTCU:
    Oh my. I seem to have missed way too much. I think I am only in touch enough to know that the OP is the artist formerly known as ihh and was accused of stalking, etc. But other than that, this is all new found gooey, goodness. And before anyone jumps on me, I never accused OP of anything- just restated previous allegations.

    She also said she was stalked in real life...I've been around and remember the IHH days. 

    Did you have a previous SN? Assuming you did because of your join date. Anyway, ya, I remember that, too. I can't remember whose husband she contacted outside of the bump but that was rather freaky.

    Zip it!

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