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Babies: 6 - 9 Months
ABColeslaw
member
Angel Baby Elisabeth Adelle April 2008
I need some serious help
ABColeslaw
member
I know sleep deprivation is part of the whole baby thing, but all the babies I know other than Asher sleep for a few hours straight at night. For the most part i only get a couple hours of sleep a night. I am so tired that I'm turning into someone I don't llike very much. I lose my patience easily and I am always battling headaches and eye aches which puts me into a foul mood.
last night at 4am, I just sat down in the middle of my bedroom floor and cried while Asher was crying in his pack n play. He only takes cat naps during the day, but otherwise he is such a happy baby. I don't know what to do and i don't feel like I can do this much longer!
Sleep training doesn't work, because nothing changes the fact that his formula is thin and leaves him hungry and needing to eat every hour or two and that he is maxed out on his reflux meds. I can't do this for much longer.
Asher Benjamin and Lola Aisling
Infertility
PCOS, Progesterone Deficiency Disorder, Multiple Miscarriage
Clomid, Metformin, Ovadril, PIO, P17 Iron/Platlet Tranfusion
My Spring Babies!
Angel Baby Elisabeth Adelle April 2008 Asher Benjamin April 2010
Lola Aisling May 2014
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I need some serious help
Why is his formula thin?
2 of my 3 still don't STTN (Drew being one of them) I just remind myself this isn't going to last forever.
{Ava 5.16.06} {Ella 12.29.07} {Drew 2.9.10}
{Ava 5.16.06} {Ella 12.29.07} {Drew 2.9.10}
The formula is so thin he needs to eat round the clock every two hours? Dear God, I'm so sorry.
I don't know what to say really.
My Ds also has severe allergies and is on Neocate as well as Prevacid for AR, and our formula is not thin at all.....
It sounds like you need to sleep train him. the formula provides the sane amount of nutrients as others, it is not thinner and he shouldn''t be eating every 1-2 hours.....
{Ava 5.16.06} {Ella 12.29.07} {Drew 2.9.10}
because he won't sleep in his crib, the pack n play is next to our bed and sometime I can get him to sleep if hes in it and I put my hand on his stomach. Otherwise the only sleep we get is if he sleep next to us.
Yes it is thinner. His is modified because he can only have less than 7 ammino stands per feeding or his body recognizes the formula as an allergen, so if he get s 6 oz bottle, then he only gets three scoops. I'm glad its not thin for your son, but for my son it is. He has already been hospitilized in the ICU clean room....so I know that he can't have it thicker than that.
Aw Holly, I am sorry!! I know that feeling of not getting enough sleep, and feeling like you are going to loose it.
Is there anyone that can get up with him during the night and feed him a bottle? Can you sleep on a couch/other room? Even if it was just through 2 feedings so you could get 4 hour block of sleep.
At least try and lay down when he lays down during the day, or have someone watch him during the day so you can take a nap. You've got to get more then 2 hours girly!
Wish I could come there and help you out!
I am so sorry little Asher has these issues!
My DD, thankfully, has been STTN for a while, but what I've found works really well is if I rock her ALL THE WAY to sleep and the put her down. She also likes to have a "pillow" (which I know is a HUGE no-no, but it works for her). I put a little foam wedge wrapped in a blanket in the crib and I lay her on her side with her head/shoulders on the wedge. She loves it and is very comfy that way. I also swaddle from her armpits down (so she has her arms out, but still feels tucked in) and let her snuggle under a nice soft blanket. I tuck it around her like a little caccoon so she feels snuggled and then she usually grabs an edge of the blanket and rubs it in her sleep.
Just some thoughts, hope it helps.
Good Lord, it sounds like you guys have already been through a lot.
I was going to suggest sleep training as well, but given your special circumstances, I don't think that will work right now. My only suggestions are to talk to your doctor about alternatives over night (maybe he can get a bigger bottle before bed?) and getting your SO to trade off on the overnight duties with you if he isn't already. You may need to take turns sleeping outside of earshot from DS so you don't get woken up, then trading in the middle of the night?
While I agree with you, he doesn't. We are working on the equity thing in therapy right now....its really affecting how I feel about him. He thinks he needs sleep more than I do because I stay at home....ugh.
Trade off with DH, at least on the weekends.
If I had that situation I would consider paying for day care a couple days a week so I could get some sleep. That is not healthy.
Can you start solid foods to fill him up a little more? What are you going to do long-term if his allergies are this severe? I assume he can't be on formula forever.
Actually its really sad, he failed the first food trial, they don't want to try solids again until 9 months and the trial will take place in a hospital. It really stresses me out. For the most part Asher' nutrition will be largely formula until he is 5 or 6. When he is one he will be moved up to Neocate One and after that he will go on Neocate Junior...there is also an ammino food paste that is sorta the consistency of outmeal that you can add flavor packets to...he may need to do that..depending on how the food trials go.
Jeeze. Who died and made you Perfect Parent Of The Year? Obviously she is having a difficult time, and you being all "Holier Than Thou" and "Well you're just not doing it right" Isn't going to help her son sleep nor is it going to help his allergies or AR. OP is venting and needs REAL suggestions . . . not to be told shes wrong and that its basically her own damn fault. Also, even though your son may have sever allergies and A.R. but. . and you know what i am going to say. . . . every baby is different, so something that works and is ok for your son, may not work for hers. Please step off of your "I'm perfect and know everything" pedestal and have a great day
Wow. I'm sorry. I can see why you are at the end of your rope.
Do you have a friend or family member that can help out, even for one night? Can you budget for a baby nurse one night a week?
I'm really sorry you're going through this Holly.
My only advice is to nutpunch your DH.
Do you know about how much a baby nurse charges?
DH and I did 5 hour shifts when we brought DS home from the NICU. It was beautiful. 5 hours was just enough that neither of us was a zombie the next day, plus we each got at least 7 hours of sleep at night.
When we first brought him home this was the schedule:
7pm - DS to sleep (I'm on duty, but I go to sleep)
10pm - DS wakes to eat (I'm on duty, so I get up to feed him and put him back down to sleep). I go back to bed.
12am - DH takes over
1am - DS wakes to eat (DH is on duty, so he gets up to feed him and put him back down to sleep). DH goes back to bed.
4am - DS wakes to eat (DH is on duty, so he gets up to feed him and put him back down to sleep). DH goes back to bed.
5am - I take back over, but continue sleeping
7am - DS wakes up for the day.
So, DH sleeps from 7pm-1am (6 hours), 1:30-4, 4:30-7; I sleep from 7-10, 10:30-7am (8.5 hours).
We switch "shifts" everyday.
I really don't know... I would imagine that it varies depending on where you live, but it's worth looking in to if your husband won't help. I know that some doulas will also help mothers post partum, so you could look into that too-- it would probably be a bit cheaper.
Yeah my DH sucks. We fight about this all the time and I finally signed up for marriage counseling because I resent that he doesn't help me out like that!
Good lord, Holly. I'm sorry you're going through this.
If you lived near me, I would come over and watch Asher so you could sleep. Heck, I'd even throw in a complimentary nutpunch for your H.
Awww thanks!
Yeah we end up bedsharing a lot in the name of sleep. But he still wakes up to eat almost every 2 hours and its hard for me to fall back asleep. Also Phill tosses and turns in his sleep and I'm afraid for Asher's safely.
But When I am desperate I do bring him into bed and kick Phill out of the bed.
Phill doesn't do night duty on the weekends, but on Sunday he will take Asher downstairs around 7 and let me sleep until 9 or 10, not that I'm not grateful, but its still not enough.
I don't have a sitter that I trust nearby. I interviewed quite a few babysitters but they all want like $20-25 an hour...which is outrageous...I can't afford that.
That may change soon
Holly, this sounds so rough! I can't even imagine!
I wish I could help you.
Phil needs to get over his sh!t and help you out. You need sleep just as much (if not more) than he does. It's only fair for you guys to share. I know where you are because Nate used to be like that. It got so bad that everything blew up and he realized he needed to help me out. If you can, I would suggest bedsharing with Asher in another room if you can or make Phil sleep somewhere else. If he won't help out, he has to make some sacrifices.
Hugs, love!
Liam is 5!
Aww sweetie I'm so sorry your going through all this.
Hang in there mama! Sorry I don't have much advice for you, that already hasn't been given, but my T & P are with you to get through this.
I'm sorry:(
My LO wakes up at night all.the.time. Last week I counted over 20 times on more than one night. She only eats (BF) about 2-3 times during those though. DH doesn't help me either. I often tell myself that I can't do this much longer but then DD smiles and I tell myself that it won't be like this forever. I remind myself that she won't need me for very long and soon she'll be grown.
I've been having DH sleep in the spare bedroom or I sleep on the floor in LO's room with her. She won't sleep in her crib or pnp (basically wakes up if I move her), plus it's easier to be right next to her during all the wakings.
My sister just got offered a job as a night nanny. It pays $12/hour (more if you're a nurse). Not sure how much the company actually charges the parents though.
1ht
Ok. Here are my thoughts and know this is just coming from a place of wanting to throw a bunch of ideas out there to see what helps. The best thing to do when you're frustrated is to talk it through with other people to get different ideas, right? I just wanted to make that clear so it doesn't come across as me saying my method is the only right way of doing things
You didn't post your morning schedule which was what I was hoping for but based on what you wrote, is there anything you can do to help him nap longer? Sleep *often times* begets sleep. How long in the morning is he awake before a nap? At 6 months, the *standard* should be 2-3 hours awake time at most before a nap. I *think* that if you get him to nap a little better by putting him on a schedule, the night time sleeping will get better.
I think I read earlier that he gets 6oz. That means he's getting anywhere between 24 to 30oz overnight on top of whatever he is getting throughout the day which I am estimating to be a grand total of over 42 oz (correct me if I'm wrong). That, IMO, is too much formula which leads me to believe that you *can* cut off one, several, or all of the overnight bottles. His waking habits at night lead me to believe that he is eating for comfort. Maybe start with the 2-3am bottle, replace it with some soothing techniques and see how it goes?
I think 8pm is a good bedtime but do you think that maybe an even earlier bedtime would help? IDK just throwing ideas out there.
Have you tried following the EASY method by chance? Certainly not the only method out there, just one. Sometimes kids do well without a real schedule. But sometimes there are kids that need a schedule. My DD has always been like that. In the beginning we fought the idea of a schedule because I hate living life like that. But she thrives on it and once we gave in, life got a lot easier in terms of sleeping.