thinking ahead..to circumscise or not??

schirinos · October 2010

So I live in Holland where male circumsicion isn't common and only done with a medical indication or due to religious reasons. I can request one but it will be kind of a pain. Surpisingly DH is all for it. I'm not sure just yet.

What is your opinion on it?

beeunit · October 2010

If we have a boy, we definitely will. It's easier to clean...so less bacteria to worry about. Plus, DH is, so it will be good to have common ground when it comes time to learn about that kind of stuff. And it's the norm here...I only know of 1 person who isn't.

becs11048 · October 2010

There is a lot of research out there and it definitely typically takes a stance one way or another. This is one area where I am deferring to my DH to decide. I see the pluses and minuses, but he is the one that can best relate. DH wants to circumcise, but is going to research it before he makes his final decision.

jessababe85 · October 2010

Absolutely yes! If my LO is a boy he will definately be! Like PP said it will be easier to clean and he will be less prone to infections. IMO I really dont see any reason not to, it's not painful for them and heals really quicky.

Brittanie_1987 · October 2010

In all honesty, I never even considered not getting it done. But here in the States I'm pretty sure that is the norm.

schoolsoutbride · October 2010

We won't. We didn't with #1 either. It's unnecessary cosmetic surgery, IMO.

iamgrace · October 2010

schoolsoutbride:
We won't. We didn't with #1 either. It's unnecessary cosmetic surgery, IMO.

ditto this. It isn't medically necessary, we would have to pay for it, and my mom is a labour and delivery/post-partum nurse and has seen many botched jobs. H isn't, but wanted to circumcise if we have a son. I did some research, and after talking about it, we have decided againt it.

MrsChelseaP09 · October 2010

If we were having a boy, no question... it would have been done.

I hate that I know this but my mother did it with my older brother who ended up being a cranky baby and she blames it on him having a circumcision.... She chose not to with my younger brother and he wishes she had done it. He has even thought of having it done himself, now at 22yrs old (I don't even know if that is possible?).

ckandi007 · October 2010

We will be--DH is Jewish (though I am not).

msmaplemae · October 2010

we are leaning towards no after some research... this section in my blog links you to some articles if you are interested in research or know someone that is....

i truly believe your choice is always best for your baby

https://belly101.blogspot.com/2010/08/week-8-day-3-holy-nipples-batman.html

beeunit · October 2010

MrsChelseaP09:

If we were having a boy, no question... it would have been done.

I hate that I know this but my mother did it with my older brother who ended up being a cranky baby and she blames it on him having a circumcision.... She chose not to with my younger brother and he wishes she had done it. He has even thought of having it done himself, now at 22yrs old (I don't even know if that is possible?).

It's possible...but it's a lot more difficult when you're older. That's another factor to think about (for the OP), this is something that he will have to live with for the rest of his life. I really do think that most who aren't probably wish they were.

misskris927 · October 2010

Brittanie_1987:
In all honesty, I never even considered not getting it done.? But here in the States I'm pretty sure?that is the norm.

This exactly.?

flowerchild77 · October 2010

I dont want to. But my hubby's jewish and VERY religious. Its SUPER important to him so we will.

Twinkz · October 2010

I don't want to. DH wishes he hadn't been. That being said, my best friend is in med school and keeps pushing research at me showing all of the long term complications including an increased risk of penile cancer. So, we are still undecided.

MrsBeck0802 · October 2010

It was never a thought in our minds not to. That's just our opinion though.

Brittanie_1987 · October 2010

Twinkz:
I don't want to. DH wishes he hadn't been. That being said, my best friend is in med school and keeps pushing research at me showing all of the long term complications including an increased risk of penile cancer. So, we are still undecided.

You don't have to answer, but I'm curious as to why your DH wishes he wasn't? I seriously have no clue and honestly thought that everyone has it done. (I know, I must be totally clueless!)

ruchemist · October 2010

If we have a boy, he will not be circumcised. DH isn't either and our insurance doesn't cover it. Good luck with your decision!

RayRay007 · October 2010

I don't want to, DH does. I'm leaving it up to him AS LONG AS he does some research and comes to an educated decision, not just "I had it done and I don't want him to be different from me or the boys in the locker room".

From the reading and research that I have done, I have come to my own conclusion that i) 40-60% of boys DON'T have it done so he won't be the odd one out in the locker room ii) the decreased risk of penile cancer, STDs and other infections is negligible iii) it DOES cause pain to babies iv) there is a risk of infection, hemorrhage or other complications due to the procedure v) we will have to pay for it out of pocket vi) Daddy can explain to LO why he is different, it's not that difficult and may be an important learning tool vii) not having it done does not lead to masturbation viii) it is not that hard to teach a boy to clean himself ix) it doesn't look weird or work any differently (DH and his buddies will say that it looks like an anteater, but seriously, grow up) and there are probably more reasons I don't think it's a good idea but can't think of off the top of my head. I don't see any benefit, except that he will look like Daddy.

Anyway, that's just my thoughts on it.

RayRay007 · October 2010

beeunit:
MrsChelseaP09:

If we were having a boy, no question... it would have been done.

I hate that I know this but my mother did it with my older brother who ended up being a cranky baby and she blames it on him having a circumcision.... She chose not to with my younger brother and he wishes she had done it. He has even thought of having it done himself, now at 22yrs old (I don't even know if that is possible?).

It's possible...but it's a lot more difficult when you're older. That's another factor to think about (for the OP), this is something that he will have to live with for the rest of his life. I really do think that most who aren't probably wish they were.

It can always be done later, but it can't be undone.

ETA: And also, not one person I know that isn't (and I know their position on the matter) wishes they had it done.

CutieBean79 · October 2010

If we have a boy, we will circumcise. It's what we are comfortable with.

Ashley705 · October 2010

My dh is and my BIL isn't. It is a big deal to the uncir. one esp as a teen, that being said I would have been okay with skipping the procedue 5 yr ago when our son was born but gave ultimate decision to my hubby who decided on circumcision.

buckeyemom · October 2010

I would prefer not to circumcise, but DH is very adamant that he should be circumcised. Since I don't feel as strongly about it as DH I going to let him have this one. I absolutely refuse to be there when they do it though and I told DH he will have to be there for it. (The board that they strap them to at the hospital to preform the circumcision reminds me of the tables they strap inmates to in order to administer the lethal injection. Freaks me out!)

Maddie*13 · October 2010

We will not have it done. My brother is not circumcised, and has NEVER ever had any problems. I'm not having part of my baby chopped off because it might someday get infected maybe. No one here would have their babies tonsils removed at birth because they might get infected someday, etc.

PinkLove-S · October 2010

We definitely will if baby is a boy.

EMarberry · October 2010

I'm leaving it up to DH, and was surprised to hear that if we have a boy he doesn't not want to circumcise. DH is, but he says it is just more natural to not circumcise and he views it as almost being archaic, that in the days when people couldn't/ didn't understand how to wash themselves properly that it could be a problem, but in this day and age it won't be a problem.

bryanddani2009 · October 2010

If it's a boy, I don't think we will. I'm leaving it up to DH though. He isn't and has never had any issues and from everything I've read it's becoming more and more popular to not circumcise. Good luck with your decision!

tinklinz · October 2010

MrsChelseaP09:

I really do think that most who aren't probably wish they were.

I've known two guys who weren't circumcised and both hated it. Both had no trouble keeping themselves clean, really the hygiene portion of it was something that was sold to parents. If the guy is lazy and never cleans adequately it can become an issue, just like for women who don't clean adequately and become prone to problems. But both men hated it for the appearance and it made them self conscious about sex.

The one has wanted to have it done for years but it's very costly, is an elective procedure as an adult so has to be paid for most times out of pocket unless there's a real health need, and recovery is heinous. There is even a huge risk as an adult of getting an erection during healing and suffering substantial blood loss. Most men after having this done as an adult have to have a digital block done, which is where they inject large amounts of local anesthetic at the base of the penis. How painful does that sound? I don't want my son to go through any of these things as an adult when it could have been avoided.

We are without a doubt doing it if we have a boy.

March2011Mama · October 2010

It's not nearly as common in Canada as it is in the US and I honestly never even thought of circumcising my son. It's considered an elective procedure that we have to pay for, so that right there said a lot to me. Plus a lot of research is coming out saying that the belief that circumcision is necessary to prevent infections, is outdated. As a pp said, it really comes down to proper hygeine & care and anyone can get infections from lack thereof. If my son wants to alter his body, I believe the decision is his.

Brittanie_1987 · October 2010

Maddie*13:
We will not have it done. My brother is not circumcised, and has NEVER ever had any problems. I'm not having part of my baby chopped off because it might someday get infected maybe. No one here would have their babies tonsils removed at birth because they might get infected someday, etc.

That's a bit dramatic, don't you think?!? I'm pretty sure it is more about culture and religion than wanting to do unecessary harm to our babies. Huh?

schirinos · October 2010

RayRay007:
I don't want to, DH does. I'm leaving it up to him AS LONG AS he does some research and comes to an educated decision, not just "I had it done and I don't want him to be different from me or the boys in the locker room".
From the reading and research that I have done, I have come to my own conclusion that i) 40-60% of boys DON'T have it done so he won't be the odd one out in the locker room ii) the decreased risk of penile cancer, STDs and other infections is negligible iii) it DOES cause pain to babies iv) there is a risk of infection, hemorrhage or other complications due to the procedure v) we will have to pay for it out of pocket vi) Daddy can explain to LO why he is different, it's not that difficult and may be an important learning tool vii) not having it done does not lead to masturbation viii) it is not that hard to teach a boy to clean himself ix) it doesn't look weird or work any differently (DH and his buddies will say that it looks like an anteater, but seriously, grow up) and there are probably more reasons I don't think it's a good idea but can't think of off the top of my head. I don't see any benefit, except that he will look like Daddy.
Anyway, that's just my thoughts on it.

LOL at the anteater...boys!

Thanks for all the input. I know there are lots of pros and cons. Still have yet to decide but you all gave me a good starting off point.

Twinkz · October 2010

.

musicbaby · October 2010

This has been a big debate with DH and I for a while now. I know he really wants it to be a boy but he feels very strongly against Circumcision. He wishes he was never circumcised, and doesn't want us to force that decision onto our possible son that can't make the decision for himself. I however want it done, so needless to say i kinda hope we have a girl so we don't have to cross that bridge yet

diannica · October 2010

We had DS circumscised and if this is a boy he will be too. DH is so it was never a question. My BIL (DH's bro) is also but his wife didn't want to circumscise their two boys so they didn't. I'm sure that will be a topic of conversation once they get older. "why doesn't mine look like Daddy's". LOL

Anyu2 · October 2010

RayRay007:
I don't want to, DH does. I'm leaving it up to him AS LONG AS he does some research and comes to an educated decision, not just "I had it done and I don't want him to be different from me or the boys in the locker room".
From the reading and research that I have done, I have come to my own conclusion that i) 40-60% of boys DON'T have it done so he won't be the odd one out in the locker room ii) the decreased risk of penile cancer, STDs and other infections is negligible iii) it DOES cause pain to babies iv) there is a risk of infection, hemorrhage or other complications due to the procedure v) we will have to pay for it out of pocket vi) Daddy can explain to LO why he is different, it's not that difficult and may be an important learning tool vii) not having it done does not lead to masturbation viii) it is not that hard to teach a boy to clean himself ix) it doesn't look weird or work any differently (DH and his buddies will say that it looks like an anteater, but seriously, grow up) and there are probably more reasons I don't think it's a good idea but can't think of off the top of my head. I don't see any benefit, except that he will look like Daddy.
Anyway, that's just my thoughts on it.

Love this. We are having a boy and he will not be circumcised. My husband is from Hungary and is not. I don't see the point or the benefit. I'm sure we've all seen guys who's are bent funny or look like the skin is going to rip it is so tight when it's hard. I know I don't have one, but that does not look comfortable. And like Ray Ray also said, it can always be done later if he decides, but it can't be undone.

skio · October 2010

DH and I have discussed this and agree that if we have a boy, he will be circ'ed. Reasons are that it's what has been done in both our families in the past, and that DH wants his son to be the same as him.

HoolahZinger · October 2010

beeunit:
If we have a boy, we definitely will. It's easier to clean...so less bacteria to worry about. Plus, DH is, so it will be good to have common ground when it comes time to learn about that kind of stuff. And it's the norm here...I only know of 1 person who isn't.

I agree with everything here! I too only know of one who isn't

Maddie*13 · October 2010

Brittanie_1987:
Maddie*13:
We will not have it done. My brother is not circumcised, and has NEVER ever had any problems. I'm not having part of my baby chopped off because it might someday get infected maybe. No one here would have their babies tonsils removed at birth because they might get infected someday, etc.

That's a bit dramatic, don't you think?!? I'm pretty sure it is more about culture and religion than wanting to do unecessary harm to our babies.

Sorry if my wording was a little bad with the "chopped off" part, but in reality that is what is being done. I understand the strong influence of culture and religion, and everyone really needs to make this choice for themselves. However, it drives me nuts when people keep bringing up the infection thing (which for us was the only factor, not having a religious reason) when really there are a number of "extra" body parts that can get infected, but no one would consider removing at birth. That's all, just my little pet peeve, lol.

earmuffs03 · October 2010

We are no question. I don't see why we wouldn't. As for "it hurts the baby" it takes no time at all and as far as my DH is concerned he said he doesn't remember "having is penis chopped up or the horrible pain it caused him at 2 days old" Plus I have seen a one that isn't and I personally think it looks like...well as samantha said on SATC "it looks like a shar pei.

This is my personal opinion.

Brittanie_1987 · October 2010

Maddie*13:
Brittanie_1987:

Maddie*13:
We will not have it done. My brother is not circumcised, and has NEVER ever had any problems. I'm not having part of my baby chopped off because it might someday get infected maybe. No one here would have their babies tonsils removed at birth because they might get infected someday, etc.

That's a bit dramatic, don't you think?!? I'm pretty sure it is more about culture and religion than wanting to do unecessary harm to our babies.

Sorry if my wording was a little bad with the "chopped off" part, but in reality that is what is being done. I understand the strong influence of culture and religion, and everyone really needs to make this choice for themselves. However, it drives me nuts when people keep bringing up the infection thing (which for us was the only factor, not having a religious reason) when really there are a number of "extra" body parts that can get infected, but no one would consider removing at birth. That's all, just my little pet peeve, lol.

I do not feel in reality that is what is being done...it is a piece of skin, not a body part and the function is still the same. But whatever...agree to disagree!

on_the_move · October 2010

We did with DS. If you do it make sure to pull back the left over forskin because DS's reattached incorrectly and now we have to put steroid cream on it in hopes that we won't have to get surgery. With all that said if we have another boy we will circumscise again.

RayRay007 · October 2010

mrsamberroberts:

We are no question. I don't see why we wouldn't. As for "it hurts the baby" it takes no time at all and as far as my DH is concerned he said he doesn't remember "having is penis chopped up or the horrible pain it caused him at 2 days old" Plus I have seen a one that isn't and I personally think it looks like...well as samantha said on SATC "it looks like a shar pei.

This is my personal opinion.

LOL! Like I said earlier, DH says it looks like an anteater. I don't understand why ppl think it looks weird, but to each their own. I've seen all sorts of penises and would not say that any of them looked weird.

Off topic, but I went on a vacation with a gf to the DR and it was the first time she had ever seen another woman's bare breasts (not mine, but other topless sunbathers). She was amazed that there were so many shapes and sizes. If a boy is circ'd or not, I think it is important to teach them (and girls) that body parts come in all shapes and sizes and there is nothing wrong with that.

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