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Babies: 6 - 9 Months
DH cheated one me
I can't believe it. I am in shock. I haven't been on the bump in awhile cause things have been weird here and he just confessed today and left. I thought things were fine. We have been together forever. He said I am not the same person I used to be since having the baby. WTF! Im tired! I just had a baby!! I don't know what to do right now. I had to take Eva to my mothers cause I can't even hold her without crying. What am I going to do?!
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Re: DH cheated one me
I'm sorry you're going through that.
I think I would cry uncontrollably for a long time before I figured out what to do next.
You definitely need to step back and re-evaluate your relationship. Do you have someone you can stay with while you figure things out?
I'm so sorry sweetie! I know you are upset, but try to find something to take your mind off of it while you have a sitter and do something for yourself. Do you have a good friend near by that you can hang with and process this and talk to?
Did you let him have it? B/c I would. That is a pathetic excuse for what he has done. How old is he?
I'm so sorry.
Never mind. Can't send PM.
Anyway, does he have access to the bank accounts? Do you? Don't leave your house. Take as much cash as the bank lets you and keep it on hand. You and the baby should not leave.
Wow. What an @$$. He's clearly not man enough to handle a new mommy. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I would ask advice on the single parents' board because a lot of those girls have gone thru similar things.
Best of luck
I'm so sorry you're going through this!
It sounds like you have your mom as a support, which is really great. Take some time to cry it out, and then I think it's probably time to sit down with your H and have a frank conversation about where you're headed from here.
(((HUGS)))
I'm so sorry that you're going through this.
Oh, God, does that hurt.
(DS's dad cheated on me after he was born for the same reason...I was "different"...)
{{hugs}} I'm so sorry, sweetie. Here's my advice: be careful how many people you tell. (Not that you need to hide it, but, should you two decide to reconcile, go to counseling and work things out you don't want all of your friends and family giving him the side-eye.)
Is he planning on coming back? My heart is aching right now for you.
I know everything is fresh, but you asked "What am I going to do?"
Soooo....Embrace your emotions. It hurts and it's OK to cry. It's OK to sob until you can't breathe and your head hurts and then sob some more. But, remember, when someone cheats on you it is NOT because of a deficiency that you have, it's because of a personal deficiency that they have. (I say this as someone who has cheated and someone who has been cheated on.) It is NOT your fault. It is NOT your baby's fault. It CAN be fixed (if you want it to be), but your DH has to face his inner demons first.
If your mom will watch LO tonight that's good, but go get her first thing tomorrow. As much as you hurt, she'll start hurting, too. She needs her mama. If you want my email, PM me.
Cancel his debit/ATM cards for tonight if you can't get to the bank until morning.
vegan mama, military wife
I am so sorry!
I'm very sorry. I've known a few women whose husbands did something like this. You're different? Yeah. No sh!t. You're a mother. It sounds like the real problem is that HE'S not different.
Oh hun, I am so sorry this is happening.
I agree, either take money out of your account, or put a freeze on his cards if you have a joint account. Don't go stay somewhere else, just stay at home. Is there a friend you can call to come over? That way, if he comes back to the house, you have a witness to the conversation.
I'm so sorry *hugs*
sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do
Wow! I was got online to vent about DH feeding DD meat for the first time while I was outside eventhough I told him not to until I got back in. I was fuming. After seeing this I think I'll back off of him.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. He had no right to do that to you. You don't deserve this. Even if you are a different person he is your husband. He should have told you that there were problems before just running out and cheating. (((Hugs)))
I'm so sorry
Cancel all debit and credit cards tonight, and tomorrow go to the bank and close your joint sccount (if you have one), and open a personal account with all the money.
Cry, scream, and do whatever else you have to do while baby is at grandma's. CHECK YOUR ACCOUNT TONIGHT. A guy who is enough of a jerk to cheat on his wife may also take all the money you have.
Wow! That's smart! Good thinking ahead!
(((hugs momma))) you will get through this.
Try to talk to him (if that is what you want) and go to counseling with or without him. No matter what that beautiful baby girl still loves you and you love her.
I'm praying for you.
((HUGE hugs momma))
I know how you feel. I'm going through something very similiar (minus the cheating...that I know of) right now and it's a terrible, horrible feeling. DH left me because I'm "not the same person he married". WTF kind of lame excuse is that? He's just running out on his responsibilites and being a coward. Today is our 2 year wedding anniversary.
I know this advice will sound impossible since this is all very fresh and new to you, but try to stay strong. It's 100% ok to cry your eyes out so uncontrollably you want to get sick, but when you're done, wipe your eyes and keep your chin up. You are a wonderful mother with a beautiful little girl and you haven't done anything wrong. Like pp said, be careful how many people you tell what's going on. You'll definitely need a support system, but keep it limited to only those closest to you. Whenever you have contact with DH, try to keep a positive attitude. You might want to rip him a new one, but try to find a way to tell him how you're feeling without screaming and yelling. Does that sound impossible right now? Of course it does. But you can do it, I know you can.
If you want your marriage to survive, DH doesn't have to be willing right now. You can show him through your actions and behavior that you want your relationship to work, and even if it doesn't I can assure you that you'll be a stronger, independent woman because of it. Focus on yourself and that beautiful little girl.
Keep your chin up, you're amazing. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk to someone who is going through something similiar.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this I agree that you should either call and cancel his debit card of freeze all accounts you share with him and then call a lawyer ASAP in the am. Do not wait to have a sit down with him to try and protect yourself.
I also agree that I would be careful about who you tell. If and it's a major if, the two of you are able to reconcile your relationship, you don't want people to be giving your h the stink eye. I know they more than likely will because they're your friends but hopefully if they're your true friends they will see that you are trying to forgive him and forgive him as well.
I totally want to come there and kick your H's @ss.
This. Also, I am so sorry that this has happened to you. Like Hotsauce said, get your emotions out, and realize that this is NOT your fault. Take some time to yourself, and then go love that adorable baby of yours. I also agree about limiting who you tell about this in your circle - you will likely get a lot of unsolicited advice, and this is something that YOU need to figure out.
Again, I'm so very sorry. You do NOT deserve this, and neither does your daughter.
No words of advice here (but it sounds like you got some good ones above.)
I'm just so sorry that you are going through this.
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