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2nd Trimester
Mom changed my mind completely...
I was out with my mom getting last minute stuff done for my wedding and was talking to her about the furniture i want for our baby. I told my mom that i was going to keep the baby in a basinett for the first couple months. than that i would put the baby in the room that he will share with my husnands soon that we have 50/50 custody of.
Well my mom freaked out. She went on a rampage, i never could have never sleeped in a seperate room from my babys, what if the baby throws up in th middle of the night, or gets sick. what if your to tiered and dont hear it over the monitor. Well she went on and on about all the things that could go wrong. She told me that she had us with her in her room until we were like 2. Never the same bed but the same room.
I wasnt planning on having the baby in the room for that long. Well now i am totally moving everything around in my bedroom to make room for the crib and baby stuff. She totally scared the hell out of me. This is my first baby and i am freaking out about everything.
What will you guys be doing about the babys sleeping arangements?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Mom changed my mind completely...
wow. I cannot believe your mom said that to freak you out that much. Thats not very nice.
We had DS in his own room from day one. His room was right down the hall and we didnt even use a monitor because we could still hear every peep. I slept in his room the first week anyways on a mattress since i was breastfeeding but after that, i felt totally fine with him in his own room.
Our feelings are that if something bad is going to happen, its really out of our control. God is in control and we cant prevent SIDS, throwing up, getting sick and its highly unlikely that we would sleep through screams.
We are having baby #2 in our room for the first 3 months this time because we want DS 1 to be able to get some sleep.
Always try to take advice with a grain of salt and do what YOU feel will be best!
Well as of right now We/I plan on having the baby in our room till maybe 2 month or so. Dh & I were saying that we will have to play it by eye as we go. The baby would most likey just be in the pack & play top bed/changing table thing on there or a bassinett.
We'll see. Don't let your mom freak you out.
If the babies room was right next to ours we would do this, but since it's on the other side of the house not so much.
I think you need to do what works best for YOUR FAMILY. Dd was in our room for 4 weeks and then we transitioned her to the crib in her nursery. I never had a goal or time frame in mind for when we were going to transition her. Instead I followed her cues and did what was best for our family. I never slept through her crying (even without the monitor on). The few times she got sick I heard her puking loud and clear and was in her room taking care of her instantly.
DH and I were NOT sleeping well with her in our room. She is a very noisey sleeper and it would wake us up constantly. I was already waking up at 3 times at night to nurse her so the wake ups from her little noises in between that were leaving us with very little sleep.
I plan on doing the same thing this time around. The first few weeks it is easier to have the baby close to me since I'm nursing and I know I'm having another c/s but for our own sanity I'm sure we'll transition him around the 4 week mark as well.
Co-sleeping works really well for some families and not so much for others. You don't know what will be best for you until the baby arrives so I wouldn't spent too much time worrying about it now. I wouldn't change things around because your mom told you to do so I'd make changes once the baby arrives when you see what is best for you and the baby.
Clomid M/C 8 weeks 2/08 *IVF #1-DD born 3/09
*Surprise BFP-T18 baby lost at 13w 1/10 *FET #1-DS born 2/11
DS was in our room in a bassinet for 3 months. He then went in his own room in his crib after that.
This baby will be in his own room in a crib from the start but I will have a spare bed in their and will sleep in there the first couple of months.
Molly was bed-sharing with me until a couple weeks ago---let me tell you, once they get used to that it is NOT an easy habit to break! She also NEVER STTN until 2 weeks ago--I am sure the two are associated.
With this baby I will probably have her in a bassinet/PNP until 6 months or so when she stops needing to nurse as much. I will NOT go through what I did with Molly--that is for sure!
We plan to have the baby in our room the first 3-4 weeks, then onto their own room. Neither of us will co-sleep, it is not right for us. But, everyone is different and they need to do what they feel is the right thing for themselves.
Also, your mom needs to stop trying to freak you out. Your baby, your family, you and your H make the decision not her.
Wow did she also tell you how cats can't wait to get in the crib and kill babies? Or how flies will lay eggs in their noses? What about no baths deeper than you belly button or you'll drown it before birth?
For real dude, putting baby in it's own room is not an automatic death ticket. Our baby will room with us for the first few weeks and then move to her own room. Trust me, you'll be able to hear and care for your baby even if it's not three feet from you.
We are still cosleeping with my daughter (we started with bedsharing, and now she sleeps half the time in the crib beside our bed and the other half in bed with us) but hope to have her in her own room by the time #2 gets here. I agree that it's a hard habit to break...for me! DD probably would've been fine moving earlier. But I get paranoid, or want to be able to cuddle with her, or want breastfeeding to be more convenient...so I've kept her in our room.
That being said, I think your plan (bassinet for a couple months) is a great one. That was originally our plan before DD decided she would NOT sleep unless she was cuddled up beside me. Don't let your mom freak you out too much.
We plan on doing the same thing, it will be in the bassinet in our room mainly to make night feedings easier, then when it outgrows the bassinet we will start transitioning the baby to their own crib in their own room.
I don't understand why your mom would give her opinion in that manner, I mean it's one thing to offer advice but to say it in such a fear mongering way is a little crazy.
This is exactly what my mom told me. We were thinking about having the baby in our room at first since we will be trying to bf, but she suggested not doing this since I am a REALLY light sleeper and my mom said she and my dad could not sleep through the little noises the baby made. We are re-considering right now and will probably play it by ear.
That stinks that your mom reacted that way and sounds totally alarmist, and I say that as someone who believes that co-sleeping is awesome for babies and parents. We hope to cosleep with LO in the room until he no longer needs a night feeding. But, if it doesn't work out for us because LO is too noisy for us or we're too noisy for him, etc. we'll rethink it.
My dad gave me opposite speech as your mom. He talked about how sleep is important for the parents and a healthy marriage and we don't want the kid needing to share a room until he's 7 (AKA my nephew). Of course, my dad also thinks that babies cry to manipulate--so it is clear that he isn't quite up on the latest research on infant development, LOL! We're trying to get him up to speed in little bits and in a loving way.
We politely explained that a) if we are not able to sleep or our marriage is negatively impacted we can always change our minds and reconfigure. b) we will feel out our needs and the needs of our child to work on a room transition plan at an appropriate age. C) A kid still sharing a room at 7 every single night--against the will of his parents--probably has other issues going on (as is the case with my nephew who suffers from severe anxiety, poor little guy) and we'll deal with meeting those emotional needs as they arise.
Here's the great thing about being the parent: you can try something and if it doesn't work for you, then you can try something else! Easy peasy. Trying something isn't a life sentence.
Whether or not you end up changing your mind on this issue, I strongly suggest setting some boundaries with your mom. Hysterical advice-giving freakouts and guilt trips just don't fly in my world.
More Green For Less Green
Clomid M/C 8 weeks 2/08 *IVF #1-DD born 3/09
*Surprise BFP-T18 baby lost at 13w 1/10 *FET #1-DS born 2/11
Wow. Your mom sooooo overreacted!
When we had DS, the plan was first to keep him in our room for the first month only. And then after that, we weren't ready, so we said until he STTN. But he STTN at 6 weeks and we still weren't ready. He ended up being in our room until he was 6 months old. After that, he went into the crib.
Our plan is to do the same for this baby, but once s/he outgrows the bassinet at 15 pounds, that's it. We're out of luck. DS didn't get to 15 pounds until much later!
DS was with us for 6 weeks, then we moved him to the crib. The orginal plan was to put him in his room from day 1, but that didn't work out.
This baby will be sharing a room with DS, so the baby will be with us for quite some time. If the baby had its own room, I would attempt to put him/her in their crib from day 1.
Sorry, but IMO your mom is being totally ridiculous. You cannot live like that, you'll freak yourself out over everything!! DD slept in our room in a pack n play for the first 2 months, then we moved her to her own room. After that she started sleeping better and so did we. The video monitor we have is very sensitive, I can even hear dd rustling her sheets when she's moving around. We're planning on doing the same with this baby, maybe even move him a little earlier depending on how well he's sleeping. DD's room is across the hall from the nursery, so I don't want to move him in there when he's still waking several times a night because I don't want her woken up.
But seriously...your mom needs to get a grip and you need to make your own choices as a parent.