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South Florida Babies
update: the "c" word
This discussion has been closed.
Re: update: the "c" word
Seriously!
We are having a boy and will be circ'ing him. I used to work in the newborn nursery and assted in MANY of them, and most of the babies did NOT cry. If they do, they are crying the minute the are undressed and cold and stop crying immediately when wrapped and picked up.
Most of you know I work in pediatric derm at MCH, so I have seen quite a few infected penises (still unsure why the pedi's send them to us, since I just write an Rx for an antibiotic and send to urology)...but I guess they assume it's a skin infection...anyways....most are 7-10 year old boys that no longer want their mommies cleaning them but are too lazy to do it themselves. I have seen HORRIBLE infections that have lead to necessary circ's and even surgical debridements where they have to put the kids under anesthesia to be able to clean out all the pus and crap! After seeing all that, I will 100% be circ'ing my son. Also my DH is c'd, so we have always decided that we would go that route. Also, when I got my master's in public health, my concentration was epidemiology with a specialization in HIV/AIDS....one of the risk factors in transmission of HIV in men is being uncirc'd b/c the virus can get "trapped" in the foreskin...so just something else to think about.
Maybe it is vain to do because of appearance, but I'm guilty as charged. I lasered DD's birthmark at work when she was 6 weeks old b/c it was on her leg and I assumed that when she is older, she would never want to wear shorts or show her legs b/c she'd be self-conscious. I chose to do it at 6 wks because it's safe, I do it all the time on my patients, and I knew she would never remember.
Camryn Grace ~ July 6th, 2009 ~ 7lbs 9oz, 20.5"
Brayden Richard Drew ~ December 20, 2010~7lbs 9oz, 20"
Eve, the fact that you're so on the fence about this shows: (1) that there's no right or wrong answer. If there was one clear cut (no pun intended...HAHA) decision of what people SHOULD do, we wouldn't be sitting here debating it and you wouldn't be having a hard time deciding. And (2) that you're a good mom for taking this decision so seriously and thinking carefully about the options instead of just going with the flow and doing "whatever" for no real reason.
I agree with what the others have said about not basing your decision on what might or might not happen in the future. I'm sure out of the gazillions, billions, and jagamillions of men who are not circ'd, the LARGE majority of them go through life without infections. Maybe more uncirc'd men get penile infections than circ'd men, but I'm sure that it's still an extremely rare occurrence. By choosing to pierce my daughter's ears, I realize that she's slightly more at risk of developing an infection around the piercing than a little girl whose ears are not pierced, but I know millions of girls with pierced ears who have never had an infection. The fact that she *might* get an infection one day didn't prevent me from doing something I wanted to do.
And I realize earlobe infections and penis infections are not the same thing, but you get what I'm saying.*
*That was probably the funniest sentence I've ever typed.
The bottom line is that sexual attractiveness is a very personal matter. I do not like uncircumsized penises - I, ME, it is a personal preference. I also prefer to have a guy who shaves his balls b/c I think it makes everything look "prettier". Who cares? That's what I like.
If someone were to refuse to sleep with someone b/c of a physical attribute that they're not attracted to then I would just say, oh ok, and go about my business. I would get my son circumsized b/c I don't like the look of it and all the other reasons mentioned above. It absolutely is a cultural thing!! No sh!t. If I grew up in Europe or Latin America or Africa then I'm sure my preferences would be shaped by that, but I didn't so what I like is what I like. If any of you don't have the same sexual preference that I do, that's great, it makes us all different. I just don't know why it's not ok for me to think that they're ugly.
And for the record, I have a tattoo and I know of at least one person who would not date me b/c of that.
I find comfort in knowing that getting the girls wont be an issue for my children.....Have you seen them?!?!?
Anyway, are we reallllllllly still discussing the future sex lives of our children? Right now, you are the parent, and you do what you need to do and feel good about your decision. I had no problem circumcising either of my boys. Their mini junk is beautiful and healthy and is not a concern to me at all.
G8torell, kudos to you for doing what you thought was in the best interest for your daughter, and Jenny.....who said there is something wrong with a 70's bush?!?!?!?
You might also get called trashy for having a tattoo! But I would date you, I think tattoos are hot!!!!!
ROFL
my issue never was about the future sex life of our children, this all falls back on hygiene.
lmao at leanna and shaved balls!!
I completely understand/agree with all of this (including the shaved balls part)*. But what I don't get is using this as an argument FOR circumcision. Why does it matter what YOU, as the boy's mom, has a sexual preference??? Why does it matter if you prefer the look of a circ'd or uncirc'd penis in the men you hook up with? I don't get why that would have any bearing whatsoever on your choice. The only time (hopefully) you'll have to look at your son's penis is when he's a child, and clearly it's not in a sexual context.
So then that leaves the argument I think Andrea was trying to make - that because she and a lot of her girlfriends think uncirc'd penises are gross, Eve shouldn't get Evan circ'd because it might have a negative impact on his sex life as an adult. I disagree with that argument because I think it's close-minded. It doesn't acknowledge that these views are only held in small parts of the world and it doesn't acknowledge that even in this country, the stats are showing that it's no longer going to be as rare as it is now to come across an uncir'd man 20 years from now.
*For the record, I am cracking myself up tonight.
I used to hate tattoos and thought they were really trashy and that I would never date someone who had one. Then my husband got one. FAIL.
Now I kind of want one too...maybe...I'm not sure.
I agree that its not an argument for why Eve should get Evan circ'd, she has to do what she's comfortable with.
I'm definitely making light of it, if I had a son my number one reason for getting it done is that my DH is Jewish, no further discussion would even need to be had.
I'm cracking up at the whole thing too!
you are definitely a lawyer. quite a strong defense there counsel.
This is one of those topics that get heated quickly and usually bring out the worst in people.
Martini, anyone?
Being a lawyer has made me UNPOSSIBLE to live with. My poor husband. When I was a little girl, I would try to argue my way out of everything. My parents were like, "Save it for when you grow up and become a lawyer." And now that I do it for a living, the problem has become ten. times. worse. I can't see an issue or an opinion or a potential debate without mentally tearing down everyone's argument in my head and thinking of points and counterpoints for both sides. I am soooo lucky that I'm a firecracker in the sack or I think DH would have packed his bags a long time ago!
LOL, firecracker in the sack! You get em tiger!
hey, firecracker, "UNPOSSIBLE," really??
Jen, I'm only calling you out on that because you are a lawyer. :-D Impossible, my dear, impossible.
Actually, UNPOSSIBLE is possible.
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/unpossible
Kind of like, "Woot!" or any number of current slang words.
Get with the times, British! LOL.
wiktionary does not a real word make- colloquial or not :-D
hehe I don't need my lawyer reminding me of Ralph Wiggum "me fail English, that's unpossible!"
This
It's slang. I think I read Dooce too much. Her influence is also partially responsible for my abuse of the caps lock key.
LMAO, Jenny...then its a good thing this a public message board and not a trial or consult with your attorney or a thesis paper or ENGLISH class for goodness sake. Because we would all get Fs with the number of LOL or LMAO or LMFAO or OMG we post.
So, Jennifer - I guess you are more impossible than even impossible is to live with, huh? LOL.
aahh you guys, I was totally kidding and only calling her out on it because everyone's all "oooh jen, you're such a lawyer!" lol
i only correct grammar on certain people's facebook posts (like rosie and my mom) and never on this board. sheesh!!
I
you but with ALL the good drama on this thread, that's what you commented on??? The grammar thing - LOL! Come on, Mel, I know you have more in you than that!!
FWIW - I thought the same thing as Jenny, so apparently I am not up on my urban slang either
I will say this for myself - as much as the overly analytical way I think spills over into parts of my personal life where it probably doesn't belong, one thing I've never had a problem with is switching seamlessly back and forth between intrnt spk and formal, properly punctuated, gramatically flawless English. It's a gift, I know
Although I do get the urge now and then to add a much needed "UNPOSSIBLE." to an otherwise boring legal brief, just to emphasize a point.
i don't care how colloquial it is, I will always associate it with Ralph Wiggum :-D
I have heard of many people getting infections because of the same reason and one of them ended up needing a circumcision when he was an adult because of it! Ouch!!!
I remember when DH and I first started dating and we were in class (in college), someone mentioned something about an infection. DH is very squeamish and he let out a big "Ewwww" people looked at him like if he had 2 heads and told him "Yeah, right like you have never had one" and when he said he has never had one they didn't believe him.
I am a Jew by choice (which means I converted) and even if I wasn't Jewish I would have still gotten DS circumsized. I'm hispanic and My family is catholic and my brother and cousins are circumcised (I don't think my dad is though). I can't imagine relying on a toddler or little kid to clean themselves.
I am quite surprised that the original poster's OB mentioned something about decreasing sensibility in the penis because that is simply NOT true (and she is supposed to be a scientist!). I do remember reading a lot of articles a while back that mentioned that circumcised men tend to get less infections and also that the foreskin of the penis has some kind of receptors that make it more likely to catch sexually transmitted deceases (of course you can still get them even if you are circumcised). The tribes of Africa that perform circumcisions among its members have a lower incidence of HIV (of course you cant still get it even if you are circumcised). I might sound like mumbo jumbo but this was based on scientific evidence.
If you do decided to have your son circumcised make sure you find a trained and experienced person. I had never heard of a botched circumcision (and pretty much all the men/kids I know are circumcised) until I read the post here. I have read that usually OB's are better at circumcisions than pediatricians (of course this is not always the case) because they perform them more often so they have more experience. Also, there are many non-jewish people, including doctors, that use a moyel/mohel (trained jewish person that performs circumcisions) to circumcise their sons because they are very experienced because they perform several every day. They also use different techniques that they do at the hospital.
Good luck with your decision! Make sure its the right decision for you and your family!
she was not the first to mention this to me...
https://news.softpedia.com/news/CIrcumcision-Decreases-by-Four-Times-Penis-039-s-Sensitivity-52117.shtml
LMAO, Leanna! Okay, so I thought commenting on the topic so far after all the drama would have been wierd but since you asked...
I don't have a penis. Can I be clear? I don't have one. I would not know what to do with one if I did. I cannot possibly make an informed enough decision on this because I do not and have never had - a PENIS. Circumsized or Uncircumsized. In my opinion, unless this is done for religious purposes, this is a daddy decision. End of story. I make enough decisions for my children and this is one I feel perfectly comfortable passing over to someone with a little more perspective than me and my vagina can provide.
So Eve, I have to ask - what is your husband's opinion? What does he think about all this research? Is it driving him crazy?
its driving him crazy because im driving him crazy. i cant just easily hand over the decision to him because somehow i will feel guilty. just because i have a vagina and my son has a penis doesnt mean i cant learn or be informed about this or help make the decision.
i think my problem lies on the fact that ive googled so much crap on the internet and have come up with horrible stories, ie. "deaths during circumcisions", "hemorraging during circumcions" and btw have you youtubed a circumcision video. it makes me sick to my stomach. i know most of you have mentioned that kids dont cry during this procedure but i just cant believe that.
and btw....evan is the first boy in my mom's side of the family in over 50+ years. my family knows nothing on circumcisions all we know is va-jay-jays!
its OBVIOUS i dont want him to catch an infection june. i obviously dont want him to be a teenager and my having to ask him to drop his pants to make sure he cleaned right either.
Maybe I didn't explain myself right. You mentioned before that you didn't believe they didn't feel pain, which almost makes you certain that pain will be involved. Infection is not certain so the choice is certain pain or the remote possibility of infection. Which one is the lesser of two evils?
This is going nowhere.
I will have to agree with Mel on this one. Honestly I know nothing on the topic currently, and I thank Eve for bringing some light to me. I asked Dh a couple of wks ago (during first debate), and he looked at me like saying "duh! yes!" And I closed the topic. He's more of an "expert" on the topic than I am, so I know he'll make the right decision for our sons.
Granted, I won't just go in w/out knowing, I am now researching more, but for us, looks like the answer is "snip."
GL w/ the decision. Any decision involving your children is stressful.
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
lol i misunderstood you. i hear you now.
if anyone here knows me you should know i have to get the two sides to every story a million times before i decide. i explained to my husband this morning about the bell procedure and we're gonna review that and talk to our pedi. i feared this topic going into my 2nd pg and thinking "crap if i have a boy i have to make the decision on being snipped"...damned if you do damned if you dont.