update: the "c" word

CesEve99

so i had my monthly ob appt yesterday. i brought up the circumcision topic, wanted to get her opinion etc. i know this is a touchy subject here but i'm still lost on what to do.

although my ob does NOT have any children of her own, i asked her based on "what would you do?" she has already discussed this with her own husband and their belief is that a circumcision is unnecessary. mainly she believes that its not necessary to cause an infant to get circumcized when you can teach the child how to properly clean. she also believes through the years some of the nerves on the penis die therefore causing less sensation on the penis. although she has performed many circumcisions for her patient's children this is just her own personal belief.

she advised me to speak to the other 2 male drs in my practice to get their opinions as well. both my male drs have 3 sons each and none of their kids are circumcized either. i will get their opinions on this topic by aug 31.

so this takes us back to square 1...what to do...we're researching the internet and other parents. its a touchy subject because its not a religious belief for us. its hard to make such a decision for your child.

btw our ob would handle the circumcision herself.

MrsVictoriaB

I your OB. Our pediatrician said the same thing

CesEve99

MrsVictoriaB:

I your OB. Our pediatrician said the same thing

you know, you just gave me an idea...i'm gonna poll our pedi too!

MrsVictoriaB

CesEve99:

MrsVictoriaB:

I your OB. Our pediatrician said the same thing

you know, you just gave me an idea...i'm gonna poll our pedi too!

that's a good idea! Our pedi was able to tell us the percentage of boys who were and weren't circ'd at her office and it was 50/50

CesEve99

btw for us is more the fear of him catching an infection at a later age and then having to do the circumcision later on, which will be murder. we're on the "yes" side but keep going back to the "no" side

MrsVictoriaB

CesEve99:

btw for us is more the fear of him catching an infection at a later age and then having to do the circumcision later on, which will be murder. we're on the "yes" side but keep going back to the "no" side

 yeah I hear you. It was so easy for us to say no to circ because DH is European, they don't circ there. So I asked him and all my Norwegian friends (I had no shame when pregnant) if they ever had an infection and not one of them ever have. People are good at infection horror stories, but I think that's just a scare tactic. I mean you can get infections all over your body but you don't chop off those parts.. that was my reasoning anyway. It was good to know lots of men on that side of the story

MrsJOSEnADRI

Ditto all of the above!  I pretty much agree with what your OB said.  It's not a religious thing for us either.  But, if we have a boy, we wouldn't circumcise. 

britishbride05

MrsVictoriaB:

CesEve99:

btw for us is more the fear of him catching an infection at a later age and then having to do the circumcision later on, which will be murder. we're on the "yes" side but keep going back to the "no" side

 yeah I hear you. It was so easy for us to say no to circ because DH is European, they don't circ there. So I asked him and all my Norwegian friends (I had no shame when pregnant) if they ever had an infection and not one of them ever have. People are good at infection horror stories, but I think that's just a scare tactic. I mean you can get infections all over your body but you don't chop off those parts.. that was my reasoning anyway. It was good to know lots of men on that side of the story

ditto the European thing.  DH isn't and they don't do it there.  He's never had an infection there, either!  lol 

VandRicky

We don't circumsize in Belgium either, only if you are muslim or jewish.

Honestly, my family woul db e mortified if they knew my boys were-lol. I had never heard of anyone who had infections or anything because of not being circumsized.

TO be honest, I did not research the subject and wish I had. The only reason I did is "daddy is so the boys will be too". I had horrible experience with Sebastian's circumcision and he had to be put under at 18 months to get it redone. If I could redo it all, I would have never done it in the first place. never.

FSUSammy

Sneaking on here to post really quick at work. We c'd Mikey, it was a no brainer for us. It's done in my dad's culture, he's muslim. Gary and I wanted Mikey to be just like daddy.

I don't believe the mumbo jumbo about the sensitivity stuff. Honestly how would a grown man know that they are less sensitive than the next guy??? Also I have a feeling that 50/50 stat is a tad skewed. I doubt its including the jewish babies that are having it done outside of a hospital setting. Then again I could care less what the stats are. I'm just glad I don't have to deal with trying to tell my little boy what he has to do to clean himself especially since his daddy is no longer around. Ummmm that would be one hell of an AWKWARD convo in my opinion.

CesEve99

v & sam - both of your replies are the reasons why i'm so in between

they are total opposites and i agree with both of you. i, however, like to live in the gray zone hence why this is such a killer for me.

Gator09

Again I know I said I did it because of religion but even if I was not jewish I would have done it. Pain should not be the issue when I tell you that Aaron didn't cry...I really mean he didn't cry. If it was just about the pain think about piercing a baby girls ears...its very similar. It's quick and easy. You do have to do research on who is the right person to do it. I would say go with your gut.

The cleanliness would be my number one concern. I have a 3 year old as you know and as nice as it is to think he could be taught to pull and clean there are things he forgets time to time and I would not want to stand over him every time he pees which is often. 

Good luck on your decision. I was pretty much shocked to see that anyone here wouldn't

Haleakala

If we had a boy we would have him circumcized. To each there own- you have to do what you feel is right for your family    

Snshine

Like you said, it's a touchy subject and not too many people are "undecided" for one reason or another.  I can't imagine how your indecision is tormenting you.  We circ'd Noah and didn't think twice.  DH is and (*vain alert*) I think cosmetically its more attractive.  To be fair though I've only known one person who wasn't so it's also more of a norm for me.  I know it European countries it's exactly opposite.

ANJ410

I'm sorry if it offends anyone, but I will be the one to say it.  An uncircumcised penis is just revolting to me. When I was single I would have never ever in a million years been intimate with someone who was incircumcised if I ever came across it, which I didn't because almost everyone here is.  I know I am not alone because I've had this conversation with women friends.  That is definitely something to think about when making the decison for your son, IMO.

headlight

I will not do C when I have a boy.

You can read a lot about it here

https://www.drmomma.org/2009/10/circumcision-study-ends-early-due-to.html

Just go to the side bar.

My husband is not C'ed and there never was any issue with infection or anything of that nature.

 

headlight

Have you seen NOT C'd penis erected?

When it is erected you will not be able to tell the difference. 

 

ANJ410:

I'm sorry if it offends anyone, but I will be the one to say it.  An uncircumcised penis is just revolting to me. When I was single I would have never ever in a million years been intimate with someone who was incircumcised if I ever came across it, which I didn't because almost everyone here is.  I know I am not alone because I've had this conversation with women friends.  That is definitely something to think about when making the decison for your son, IMO.

MrsLeanna

ANJ410:

I'm sorry if it offends anyone, but I will be the one to say it.  An uncircumcised penis is just revolting to me. When I was single I would have never ever in a million years been intimate with someone who was incircumcised if I ever came across it, which I didn't because almost everyone here is.  I know I am not alone because I've had this conversation with women friends.  That is definitely something to think about when making the decison for your son, IMO.

This. Exactly - and I was definitely no angel before I got married so i saw my share of them.  To the other poster who said you can't tell the difference when they are erect - i beg to differ. 

MelanieJH1016

100% i would circumsize if I had a boy. Ask your pedi... I wouldn't even go by what your OB says, it's the pedi that will know what the prefferred thing to do is.

CJB8

MelanieJH1016:

100% i would circumsize if I had a boy. Ask your pedi... I wouldn't even go by what your OB says, it's the pedi that will know what the prefferred thing to do is.

same here, I would absolutely circumsize if I had a boy. 

 I'm really surprised to hear about that 50/50 ratio, I don't buy it.

MrsVictoriaB

I don't really care if some vain b*tch won't date my son because of that, her loss

MrsLeanna

MrsVictoriaB:

I don't really care if some vain b*tch won't date my son because of that, her loss

That was uncalled for.  No one was insulting anyone.  Everyone is allowed to have a preference.  

MrsVictoriaB

Calling uncirc'd penises ugly is an insult to all of us whose DH's aren't snipped and sons so yeah I'm allowed to express how I feel too

MrsLeanna

Why?  It's a personal preference, I'm not insulting, I'm just expressing MY preference.  I'm short and I have brown hair and brown eyes, I'm pretty sure that there are guys out there who think that's unattractive and wouldn't have dated me.  Same with any physical attribute - I have big boobs, I'm sure there are men who prefer small-chested women and think large breasts are ugly.  I think that's ok to think they're ugly, I think all penises are kinda ugly actually, am I insulting the male race? 

MrsVictoriaB

I'm not going to express my true feelings about circumcision here because it would be too insulting for a lot of you to hear so with that I'm out

britishbride05

Saying that you'll circumcise  your son because you're worried that it'll be ugly to the women who will see it in the future is like telling your daughter she should wax her bikini line because no guys like 70s bush.

britishbride05

for the record, i could care less about whose son is or isn't circ'ed...

i just think it's weird that people put so mch thought into their future sex lives... maybe it won't matter and they'll all be priests and stay celibate forever. 

VandRicky

CJB8:

MelanieJH1016:

100% i would circumsize if I had a boy. Ask your pedi... I wouldn't even go by what your OB says, it's the pedi that will know what the prefferred thing to do is.

same here, I would absolutely circumsize if I had a boy. 

 I'm really surprised to hear about that 50/50 ratio, I don't buy it.

I don't write down what I see so my experiences are definately not scientific but I can say that from what I see, more and more people are choosing to not circumcise, 50/50 doesn't seem crazy to me. Maybe because I am the mother of boys and do see it very often? Victoria, I agree with you. I think it is insulting. Like we mentioned in earlier posts, so many parts of the world DO NOT circumcise. Actually, my little brother who was born in the Bronx, NY 18 years ago was NOT circumcised because he was born in a catholic hospital and they did not do that there. Neither of my brothershave problem with the ladies

GenaAndJosh

Gator09:

Again I know I said I did it because of religion but even if I was not jewish I would have done it. Pain should not be the issue when I tell you that Aaron didn't cry...I really mean he didn't cry. If it was just about the pain think about piercing a baby girls ears...its very similar. It's quick and easy. You do have to do research on who is the right person to do it. I would say go with your gut.

The cleanliness would be my number one concern. I have a 3 year old as you know and as nice as it is to think he could be taught to pull and clean there are things he forgets time to time and I would not want to stand over him every time he pees which is often. 

Good luck on your decision. I was pretty much shocked to see that anyone here wouldn't

This exactly for us.  Spencer did even whine, but maybe it had to do with the wine at the bris?  Anyway, I know a few men who did it at an older age for vanity and other reasons and the recovery was just not the same.  To each is own, but we would have done it regardless of religious beliefs as well. 

karenlisa714

What Beth and Gena said exactly. Took the words right out of my mouth!

MrsJuneHawk

I've seen my fair share of both and honestly, I don't care what they look like as long as they work and don't stink.  To say that an uncircumcised penis is revolting when you have never seen one does come across as a very ignorant statement.  The only reason women in this country think that way is because circumcision is so widespread that being "whole", so to speak, is not the norm.  The women I know in the UK think that circumcised penises are funny looking.  It's all relative.

For whatever it's worth, circumcision rates are falling so there will come a point when there won't be a bias either way.  The US is pretty much the only country in the world that circumcises most babies so WE are the freaks.

Tehee!

CesEve99

i apologize if my indecision has caused such a stir up. to me, it IS a big deal, i don't want to make the wrong decision for my son. i don't want to be put in a situation where i do get him c'd and then it goes wrong (like what happened with virginia) or that i don't get him c'd and that he catches an infection. 

i know the majority of you have done this based on religious beliefs, and its obviously the norm in your families. i however, come from a catholic/hispanic background and have no grounds to base my decision on. i see this is much like the debate of bf vs. ff so i refuse to bring this up anymore.

MrsJuneHawk

Eve, really, the risk of infection should NOT be the reason you get him circumcised.  Millions of men all over the world deal just fine, even with less than ideal hygiene.  That is a "reason" that has come up merely out people not knowing any different. 

CesEve99

MrsJuneHawk:

Eve, really, the risk of infection should NOT be the reason you get him circumcised.  Millions of men all over the world deal just fine, even with less than ideal hygiene.  That is a "reason" that has come up merely out people not knowing any different. 

actually, i do know someone who caught in an infection later on in life due to bad hygiene.

MrsJuneHawk

I am not saying no one ever does, I'm just saying that it is not the norm.  People get all sorts of infections for all sorts of reason throughout their lives.  Women get more infections than uncircumcised men.

 

Ultimately, it is your decision and I can see it's a tough one.  I am not pro nor anti circumcision, I am pro doing what you think it's best for your kid (((HUG)))

CesEve99

MrsJuneHawk:

I am not saying no one ever does, I'm just saying that it is not the norm.  People get all sorts of infections for all sorts of reason throughout their lives.  Women get more infections than uncircumcised men.

 

Ultimately, it is your decision and I can see it's a tough one.  I am not pro nor anti circumcision, I am pro doing what you think it's best for your kid (((HUG)))

thank you!!!!

britishbride05

MrsJuneHawk:

I am not saying no one ever does, I'm just saying that it is not the norm.  People get all sorts of infections for all sorts of reason throughout their lives.  Women get more infections than uncircumcised men.

 

Ultimately, it is your decision and I can see it's a tough one.  I am not pro nor anti circumcision, I am pro doing what you think it's best for your kid (((HUG)))

it's true... damn, you know how many utis i've gotten??  if that were the basis of anything, they should've removed my urethra years ago.

SoontobeSavino

MrsVictoriaB:

I'm not going to express my true feelings about circumcision here because it would be too insulting for a lot of you to hear so with that I'm out

I am genuinely interested in hearing your insults......

MRS.IHEARTMIKE

CesEve99:

i apologize if my indecision has caused such a stir up. to me, it IS a big deal, i don't want to make the wrong decision for my son. i don't want to be put in a situation where i do get him c'd and then it goes wrong (like what happened with virginia) or that i don't get him c'd and that he catches an infection. 

Sweetie the bottom line is that you can't control either route from never happening. Eventually he will be a grown man and might get an infection or maybe he won't. That doesn't mean you made a bad choice for him and your a bad mom. Do what you guys think is right in the bottom of your hearts. I wasn't worried about who would think J's penis would be revolting and his sex life we did it because it has worked out fine for DH and i saw how difficult it was for my nephews and my stepson. - Also remember, DH is and my stepson was not because the pedi suggested he didn't do it because of stepson's size so it was not done. If your pedi thinks its ok and feel comfortable than you can be more at ease. REGARDLESS what you choose is your choice and you will make a good decision and if something happens somehting happens and it was out of your control

 :::HUGS!::::

CesEve99

MRS.IHEARTMIKE:

CesEve99:

i apologize if my indecision has caused such a stir up. to me, it IS a big deal, i don't want to make the wrong decision for my son. i don't want to be put in a situation where i do get him c'd and then it goes wrong (like what happened with virginia) or that i don't get him c'd and that he catches an infection. 

Sweetie the bottom line is that you can't control either route from never happening. Eventually he will be a grown man and might get an infection or maybe he won't. That doesn't mean you made a bad choice for him and your a bad mom. Do what you guys think is right in the bottom of your hearts. I wasn't worried about who would think J's penis would be revolting and his sex life we did it because it has worked out fine for DH and i saw how difficult it was for my nephews and my stepson. - Also remember, DH is and my stepson was not because the pedi suggested he didn't do it because of stepson's size so it was not done. If your pedi thinks its ok and feel comfortable than you can be more at ease. REGARDLESS what you choose is your choice and you will make a good decision and if something happens somehting happens and it was out of your control

 :::HUGS!::::

i love you!

southmiamiwifejen

Jeez, guys. Didn't we hash this out a few days ago? Clearly there is no wrong or right answer. It's a very personal matter and each parent has to make the best choice for their child.

I would circ if we ever have a boy because it's DH's preference and because I agree with it too for some of the reasons others have mentioned. Having said that, I really find the "it's revolting and you have to think of the effect it will have on your son's future sex life" argument ridiculous and really close minded. Like many people have pointed out, routine circumcision has been declining in this country for several years now, and while I don't know what the real statistics are and whether it's 50/50 or what, the bottom line is that it WILL be more commonplace when our kids reach sexual maturity than it is now.

Those of you whose sons ARE circ'd (or who would consider doing it for a future son)...how would you feel if, for whatever reason, your son moves to a European or Latin American country as an adult and women refuse to sleep with him because he's cut? Or people refer to his penis as revolting or unattractive? Because I'm sure there are millions of women all over the world that feel about your son's penis the way you feel about uncircumcised penises. And for those of you who think that the chances of your son ever living outside of the U.S. are slim to none - what if a beautiful woman who comes from one of the MANY places in the world where circumcision is not common is living in the U.S., and she could be the potential love of your son's life...but refuses to give him a chance because EWWWWWW he's circumcised!!!