Those who don't send their LOs to DC/PK before Kindergarten...

Jolaine83 · July 2010

Do you/are you planning to work on the skills they'd learn there before they start kindergarten? Like following directions, staying in centers, following a schedule, getting their own coat/hat/gloves on?

I ask because of a post on 3-6 saying that all kids should have to attend preschool, pre-kindergarten or daycare of some sort before starting school officially. I'm not planning on sending our kids before Kindergarten. But since I've worked in daycares, I know what kind of stuff they'd learn there that I need to supplement for at home. In addition, I'm also home preschooling the basics he'd learn in a pre-k setting.

Is it more common to trust the kindergarten teachers to teach those skills or to teach them to your child yourself? No judgments either way, just curious of your opinions.

jordysmom09 · July 2010

We werent going to but now im debating it. Just so he gets used to going to a school setting without mom. We are having serious separation anxiety. But yes I will also teach him all those things.

ape · July 2010

The only worry I have about DD starting school is her abundant energy and non-stop talking. I spoke with her pediatrician and we are looking into karate. It will teach her discipline, wear her out and the teaching demands respect (aka quiet time)

I brought this up to my ped. and he said he did the same thing for the same reason with his girls. As for following directions, we don't really ha ve issues. I have smart girls. Plenty of kids have gone to school w/out DC before.

Andrewsgal · July 2010

Honestly times have changed kinder used to be a place to learn how to follow rules, stay in line, play well with other children and so on. It is not anymore Kindergarten is now totally academic focused and kids are expected to know basic school skills before they enter. Most studies will tell you that kids that don't go to some type of structured preschool program will start out behind their peers, but will catch up by 2nd grade. To me it is just sad to have a child playing catch up for 2 years. I want to do everything within my power to start my children off on the right food academically and socially. And no playdates and classes will never ever take the place of a good preschool program.

wifeandmama · July 2010

Sure, we'll work on that stuff. I won't go drilling it into him but when situations come up, we try to learn from them even now, so we'll do the same moving forward. Preschool is not right for our family. I strongly feel like my kids would do best at home with me as long as possible, so that's what we're doing. To each his own, though!

HarrietNJMommy · July 2010

Andrewsgal:
Honestly times have changed kinder used to be a place to learn how to follow rules, stay in line, play well with other children and so on. It is not anymore Kindergarten is now totally academic focused and kids are expected to know basic school skills before they enter. Most studies will tell you that kids that don't go to some type of structured preschool program will start out behind their peers, but will catch up by 2nd grade. To me it is just sad to have a child playing catch up for 2 years. I want to do everything within my power to start my children off on the right food academically and socially. And no playdates and classes will never ever take the place of a good preschool program.

I agree with this.

Mrs.Hizzo · July 2010

Andrewsgal:
Honestly times have changed kinder used to be a place to learn how to follow rules, stay in line, play well with other children and so on. It is not anymore Kindergarten is now totally academic focused and kids are expected to know basic school skills before they enter. Most studies will tell you that kids that don't go to some type of structured preschool program will start out behind their peers, but will catch up by 2nd grade. To me it is just sad to have a child playing catch up for 2 years. I want to do everything within my power to start my children off on the right food academically and socially. And no playdates and classes will never ever take the place of a good preschool program.

I have to agree with this. I think it's probably very dependent on where you live, but I know in our area, some sort of pre-k program is a must. It's even subsidized in some parts of town, so that cost doesn't keep kids from attending preschool. When my niece started kindergarten I was astounded at what they were teaching her, and how much she was already expected to know going in. Not just academic things, but how to work in a group of children, transition from one activity to another, etc. The year she started, twenty percent of her class was repeating. This is the top ranked elementary school in our state, so it's not like that number reflects poor educators. The kids just weren't prepared.

jenifairies · July 2010

Andrewsgal:
Honestly times have changed kinder used to be a place to learn how to follow rules, stay in line, play well with other children and so on. It is not anymore Kindergarten is now totally academic focused and kids are expected to know basic school skills before they enter. Most studies will tell you that kids that don't go to some type of structured preschool program will start out behind their peers, but will catch up by 2nd grade. To me it is just sad to have a child playing catch up for 2 years. I want to do everything within my power to start my children off on the right food academically and socially. And no playdates and classes will never ever take the place of a good preschool program.

Ditto this.

However, I don't *think* we are going to do private preschool. Our school system has district-wide Pre-K at 4, so I think we will do that. I want to put DD in mother's day out at the least when we can.

I actually remember going to preschool at 3&4 and LOVING it. I was really ahead in school, too. So we might do something at 3, I'm not entirely sure.

Jolaine83 · July 2010

You ladies make some good points. I've been looking at it from a daycare level pre-kindergarten experience, not a public school type. We do have a part time one here in town that we might consider, but I plan to try to do a lot from home too.

Andrewsgal · July 2010

Jolaine83:
You ladies make some good points. I've been looking at it from a daycare level pre-kindergarten experience, not a public school type. We do have a part time one here in town that we might consider, but I plan to try to do a lot from home too.

Don't get me wrong, I think it is great do do things at home. I also don't think it matters public or private. We don't have public pre-k so it is not an option for us. I just think at least one year of preschool is very very important because there are things you will never be able to teach at home.

Harms80 · July 2010

Having taught kindergarten, I would choose to send mine to DC/PK before real deal school. Learning to listen to someone other than mom, be away from home for more than a hour (and, not at a trusted babysitter/grandparent), and walking in a line with other kids is important to learn. The hardest kids to teach are the ones who have no idea what's going on- even if they've learned the book smarts at home.

My little boy was in DC/PK between ages 2 until tomorrow (making the switch to SAHM after tomorrow) and he is soooo ready for Kindergarten. My baby girl will be home and PK will be optional. I will send her when she's old enough just so she learns the routines and is comfortable in a classroom setting.

bim38106 · July 2010

HarrietNJMommy:
Andrewsgal:
Honestly times have changed kinder used to be a place to learn how to follow rules, stay in line, play well with other children and so on. It is not anymore Kindergarten is now totally academic focused and kids are expected to know basic school skills before they enter. Most studies will tell you that kids that don't go to some type of structured preschool program will start out behind their peers, but will catch up by 2nd grade. To me it is just sad to have a child playing catch up for 2 years. I want to do everything within my power to start my children off on the right food academically and socially. And no playdates and classes will never ever take the place of a good preschool program.

I agree with this.

me too.

No judgment on whatever anyone decides, but from a teacher's perspective, you just don't get the same thing from a parent/child relationship then another adult teaching those things. It's just as important to learn to listen to other authority and build those types of relationships, as well as the interaction with other kids in that type of setting. It's very very different.

tara07733 · July 2010

wifeandmama:
Sure, we'll work on that stuff. I won't go drilling it into him but when situations come up, we try to learn from them even now, so we'll do the same moving forward. Preschool is not right for our family. I strongly feel like my kids would do best at home with me as long as possible, so that's what we're doing. To each his own, though!

Can I ask a question? Why is preschool 'not right ' for your family. This is not a snarky question. But what about it isn't right for you. Again, really I just want to understand what you mean.

wifeandmama · July 2010

tara07733:
wifeandmama:
Sure, we'll work on that stuff. I won't go drilling it into him but when situations come up, we try to learn from them even now, so we'll do the same moving forward. Preschool is not right for our family. I strongly feel like my kids would do best at home with me as long as possible, so that's what we're doing. To each his own, though!
Can I ask a question? Why is preschool 'not right ' for your family. This is not a snarky question. But what about it isn't right for you. Again, really I just want to understand what you mean.

Because my husband and I both agree that we want our children at home with me for as long as possible. Just our belief. We are both okay with the fact that it might take our kids a bit to "catch up" to the others to have them at home in their formative years... We're just not crazy about all the years kids have to attend school and trying to limit it as much as we can when they are little. I don't care what others do but we both feel strongly about having our kids at home.

iteachk · July 2010

As a former kindergarten teacher, I think it's really important for kids to attend some kind of structured program before kindergarten. You can teach your kids a lot at home, but if they haven't had the opportunity to wait in line, sit quietly on the carpet, and just generally be in a structured environment with other kids, they are at a disadvantage.

Not that I haven't had kids do quite well without a daycare/preschool. Just my opinion.

Jolaine83 · July 2010

I think this just makes me think even more about setting up a co-op preschool environment in my area. It would just work if I can find a small group of SAHMs who are like minded on this. Whether or not I'll want to do it with another kid by then, we'll see. Stick out tongue I tend to get all excited and put the cart a little ahead of the horse.

I just know that we won't be able to afford daycare pre-k since I'm staying home, but as long as our school system still offers their part time pre-k classes, that'll be our other option.

Again, thanks ladies for your opinions! It's nice to just get nice feedback on a topic like this without judgment running rampant.

Ritzy19 · July 2010

wifeandmama:
tara07733:
wifeandmama:
Sure, we'll work on that stuff. I won't go drilling it into him but when situations come up, we try to learn from them even now, so we'll do the same moving forward. Preschool is not right for our family. I strongly feel like my kids would do best at home with me as long as possible, so that's what we're doing. To each his own, though!
Can I ask a question? Why is preschool 'not right ' for your family. This is not a snarky question. But what about it isn't right for you. Again, really I just want to understand what you mean.
Because my husband and I both agree that we want our children at home with me for as long as possible. Just our belief. We are both okay with the fact that it might take our kids a bit to "catch up" to the others to have them at home in their formative years... We're just not crazy about all the years kids have to attend school and trying to limit it as much as we can when they are little. I don't care what others do but we both feel strongly about having our kids at home.

We feel the same way.

megs54321 · July 2010

I understand you wanting to keep your children at home as long as possible, but sending them to Pre-K is hardly sending them away all day. Really, a three morning a week Pre-K program (private or otherwise) would do wonders for your child's school readiness. They have state sanctioned "school ready" programs, specifically for making sure kids are starting out on the right foot.

IMHO, I think Pre-K should be state funded, and mandatory. What we're asking our kids to do in elementary, esp. kindergarten, is a lot. In your LO's kindergarten class, there will be kids who can read and write, and do simply arithmetic. In addition to that, being in a primarily kid environment teaches them social skills, problem solving, and creativity. And studies have shown that children that do well in kindergarten, are more likely to succeed in school and college.

That being said, I would love to have DS stay home with me until K... even longer than that. I thought seriously about home schooling him for the first few years, but we've decided against it. I don't want my child to go to Pre-K, but that's me being selfish. He'll love it, and I know it really is the best thing for him. I'm not judging you, I'm just wondering if you feel like staying home with you would be best for you, or for your children?

megs54321 · July 2010

--- I just saw that you worked in daycares... that will burn you out big time on any type of preschooling. I've seen horrible "teachers" in daycares, and worked with them, and that is a big reason why I stay home.

If you do decided to send LO to a Pre-K program (which is different than daycare) make sure the teacher is degreed and certified. It makes a world of difference.

Jerseygirl16 · July 2010

We do pre-school. Last year my oldest went 2 days a week for 2 1/2 hours a day. This year she'll be in a 4 year old class that is Mon-Thurs for 2 1/2 hours a day and my middle child will start in a 2 day a week class at the same place.

While I think you can definitely teach the basics at home (and still should even if you send them to Pre-k) I think it's important to expose them to the social and classroom aspect of it. We chose a church run school so it's not part of a daycare program and it's pretty much all kids of SAHMs there. It has helped our oldest tremendously with her shyness and learning how to advocate for herself as well as learning how to act in a classroom. And it teaches them how to be away from the safety of Mommy in small doses. Plus, she thinks it is fun!

I've heard too many stories of SAH kids being behind the others when they start Kindergarten and I didn't want to make it any harder on them than it has to be. It's a little bit of a pain for me since I have to spend a lot of time dropping off and picking up and only have a short period of time while they are there (and have my 6 month old at home still too) but it's really for them and not me so I happily do it.

sparky88 · July 2010

wifeandmama:
Sure, we'll work on that stuff. I won't go drilling it into him but when situations come up, we try to learn from them even now, so we'll do the same moving forward. Preschool is not right for our family. I strongly feel like my kids would do best at home with me as long as possible, so that's what we're doing. To each his own, though!

sparky88 · July 2010

wifeandmama:
Sure, we'll work on that stuff. I won't go drilling it into him but when situations come up, we try to learn from them even now, so we'll do the same moving forward. Preschool is not right for our family. I strongly feel like my kids would do best at home with me as long as possible, so that's what we're doing. To each his own, though!

Sage Mommy · July 2010

No preschool here. DD stayed at home until kindergarten and could read, write, do math etc. She never had any listening/social problems and has always had great grades. I have plans for DS to SAH with me until kindergarten also.

gatogrrl · July 2010

Sage Mommy:
No preschool here. DD stayed at home until kindergarten and could read, write, do math etc. She never had any listening/social problems and has always had great grades. I have plans for DS to SAH with me until kindergarten also.

Yes. I'm guessing that some of the kids who skip preK have uninvolved parents or troubled homes. This skews the overall performance of non-preK kids downward. But if you are down in the trenches teaching your kids, taking them to classes, etc, it seems they could stay fairly caught up. There's something to be said for having a life free of structure when you're young.

That said, we're putting DD in preK, starting this fall, because I don't think I would be good at teaching her social skills.

Edit: SKIP preK, not start. For the post to make any sense at all.

Notwifezilla7 · July 2010

I was a K and first grade teacher too and personally I do not think pre-school SHOULD be mandatory. Yes, kids will learn how to walk in a line and wait their turn, etc, etc, BUT kids can learn these skills in other programs then pre-Kindergarten/daycare. There are parents who will go out of their way to create a learning enriched environment at home and in essence create a homeschool Pre-K program. I would assume their children would be involved with other children in different venues- be it music classes, gym classes, the library and when their child starts K will fine. Conversely, some parents may choose to keep their kids home until K and not do anything and their child will have difficulty in K. Not all children who attend preK or DC will succed in Kindergarten, as I have seen it first hand.

There are no absolutes in school and I assume we all are doing our best to give our children what we feel is the best for them to find success.

I do not intend to send my DD until pre-k until four, giving her one year in school three times a week. Until then, we go to our local library, parks/playgrounds, attend music class and swim lessons.

susanmosley · July 2010

whether or not we send our child to school before school, I will be "working" on developmentally & age appropriate skills - including self help (grooming & dressing), problem solving/critical thinking, being part of a group, being responsible for self, & cognitive, language & motor skills. It is my job as a responsible mother. Excuse typos - on my phone, can't see what I am writing.

as for the being behind argument - that is measured on a scale that I find a lot of faults with. In general the educational system in this country is chock full of weaknesses. The pressure of early academics being a big one - it clearly isn't working in the big picture. So I do not really worry about conforming to a thought process that I don't really buy into.

megs54321 · July 2010

gatogrrl:
Sage Mommy:
No preschool here. DD stayed at home until kindergarten and could read, write, do math etc. She never had any listening/social problems and has always had great grades. I have plans for DS to SAH with me until kindergarten also.
Yes. I'm guessing that many of the kids who start preK have uninvolved parents or troubled homes. This skews the overall performance of non-preK kids downward. But if you are down in the trenches teaching your kids, taking them to classes, etc, it seems they could stay fairly caught up. There's something to be said for having a life free of structure when you're young.
That said, we're putting DD in preK, starting this fall, because I don't think I would be good at teaching her social skills.

What?? Many of the kids that start Pre-K have uninvolved parents or troubled homes? This is pretty presumptuous, don't you think? Maybe most of them are parents who work, or don't know how to teach them. Most uninvolved parents or children from troubled homes don't go to Pre-K. An uninvolved parent doesn't research a good Pre-K program, nor do they take the time to find a school that offers sound curriculum and educated teachers.

A good Pre-K program is NOT a daycare; it is an extension of school. A daycare is place where children are taken care of while their parents are working. A preschool or pre-k is an academic school for 3-5 year olds, to prepare them for kindergarten; an extension of elementary school.

Andrewsgal · July 2010

susanmosley:
whether or not we send our child to school before school, I will be "working" on developmentally & age appropriate skills - including self help (grooming & dressing), problem solving/critical thinking, being part of a group, being responsible for self, & cognitive, language & motor skills. It is my job as a responsible mother. Excuse typos - on my phone, can't see what I am writing.

as for the being behind argument - that is measured on a scale that I find a lot of faults with. In general the educational system in this country is chock full of weaknesses. The pressure of early academics being a big one - it clearly isn't working in the big picture. So I do not really worry about conforming to a thought process that I don't really buy into.

So because you find fault with the scale it is not true? Just because you choose not to believe something does not mean it is not true. And yes we do start academic preasures early to early IMO. Even though I don't think it is right not buying into is rediculous. How can you not buy into something you know to be true? Why would you want your kids to start out behind just because you don't believe in teaching them academics so young? Bottom line is they are expected to know many academic and social skills when they enter kinder, just because you believe this is wrong does not change this fact and does not change the fact that kids who don't go to pre-k start out behind. Why would you want your child to start out behind and playing catch up? it is a great way for a child to dislike school and reading.

Sage Mommy · July 2010

Andrewsgal:

susanmosley:
whether or not we send our child to school before school, I will be "working" on developmentally & age appropriate skills - including self help (grooming & dressing), problem solving/critical thinking, being part of a group, being responsible for self, & cognitive, language & motor skills. It is my job as a responsible mother. Excuse typos - on my phone, can't see what I am writing.

as for the being behind argument - that is measured on a scale that I find a lot of faults with. In general the educational system in this country is chock full of weaknesses. The pressure of early academics being a big one - it clearly isn't working in the big picture. So I do not really worry about conforming to a thought process that I don't really buy into.

So because you find fault with the scale it is not true? Just because you choose not to believe something does not mean it is not true. And yes we do start academic preasures early to early IMO. Even though I don't think it is right not buying into is rediculous. How can you not buy into something you know to be true? Why would you want your kids to start out behind just because you don't believe in teaching them academics so young? Bottom line is they are expected to know many academic and social skills when they enter kinder, just because you believe this is wrong does not change this fact and does not change the fact that kids who don't go to pre-k start out behind. Why would you want your child to start out behind and playing catch up? it is a great way for a child to dislike school and reading.

You can find research supporting any theory. You need to evaluate the criteria used in the study.

It's not a fact that they start out behind. My DD was bored out of her mind in kindergarten. Some of preschooled children in her class couldn't read when they started.

susanmosley · July 2010

andrewsgal- I can't "quote" from my phone. But in response to your response to me:
ok. I hear your point. Conveniently, you can take care of your kids & I can take care of mine. To each their own - having this discussion w/ you on this forum isn't going to change either of our minds or do anything productive, for that matter. I think my child will be different but I don't think she will be behind. If I am totally wrong, I will worry about it then. I am assuming you see this as completely irresponsible. And unless my thoughts & philosophies produce a worthless member of society, my choices won't affect you!

susanmosley · July 2010

and not all children who don't attend preschool are behind academically - I am pretty darn confident mine won't be - as I described in my initial paragraph. Behind socially? Maybe - but this is another area where I am not impressed with a lot of social trends & ways s so if what I call different & unique is what others call socially "behind" I am more than willing to have that.. Again, I am confident we will not see eye to eye on this.

Jolaine83 · July 2010

megs54321:
I understand you wanting to keep your children at home as long as possible, but sending them to Pre-K is hardly sending them away all day. Really, a three morning a week Pre-K program (private or otherwise) would do wonders for your child's school readiness. They have state sanctioned "school ready" programs, specifically for making sure kids are starting out on the right foot.

IMHO, I think Pre-K should be state funded, and mandatory. What we're asking our kids to do in elementary, esp. kindergarten, is a lot. In your LO's kindergarten class, there will be kids who can read and write, and do simply arithmetic. In addition to that, being in a primarily kid environment teaches them social skills, problem solving, and creativity. And studies have shown that children that do well in kindergarten, are more likely to succeed in school and college.

That being said, I would love to have DS stay home with me until K... even longer than that. I thought seriously about home schooling him for the first few years, but we've decided against it. I don't want my child to go to Pre-K, but that's me being selfish. He'll love it, and I know it really is the best thing for him. I'm not judging you, I'm just wondering if you feel like staying home with you would be best for you, or for your children?

I'm more concerned with his side of things and whether or not what he'd gain in pre-k would be worth the cost. Like I mentioned, there is a nice program with our school system, but the town's school is going through a split for size over the next few years, so we don't know if the same system will be in place pre-k wise.

If not, I'd probably do a part time preschool/pre-k for the academics part and the socialization, not for the childcare part, if that makes sense. With DS I'll still most likely be home with another child, so the time he's spent in preschool wouldn't be to be "watched" per say...if that makes sense.

I've just been playing with the idea of preschooling him from home and just doing the pre-k for those extra things I can't provide. I wanted to get imput from other SAH ladies to see whether the opinion is same from that side versus the kindergarten teacher side.

gatogrrl · July 2010

megs54321:
gatogrrl:
Sage Mommy:
No preschool here. DD stayed at home until kindergarten and could read, write, do math etc. She never had any listening/social problems and has always had great grades. I have plans for DS to SAH with me until kindergarten also.
Yes. I'm guessing that many of the kids who start preK have uninvolved parents or troubled homes. This skews the overall performance of non-preK kids downward. But if you are down in the trenches teaching your kids, taking them to classes, etc, it seems they could stay fairly caught up. There's something to be said for having a life free of structure when you're young.
That said, we're putting DD in preK, starting this fall, because I don't think I would be good at teaching her social skills.

What?? Many of the kids that start Pre-K have uninvolved parents or troubled homes? This is pretty presumptuous, don't you think? Maybe most of them are parents who work, or don't know how to teach them. Most uninvolved parents or children from troubled homes don't go to Pre-K. An uninvolved parent doesn't research a good Pre-K program, nor do they take the time to find a school that offers sound curriculum and educated teachers.
A good Pre-K program is NOT a daycare; it is an extension of school. A daycare is place where children are taken care of while their parents are working. A preschool or pre-k is an academic school for 3-5 year olds, to prepare them for kindergarten; an extension of elementary school.

Sorry, I meant skipped pre-K. Totally makes no sense the way I wrote it! I would never say people who put their kids in pre-K or daycare are uninvolved. That's like 95% of the women I know I would be insulting.

Those who don't send their LOs to DC/PK before Kindergarten...

Re: Those who don't send their LOs to DC/PK before Kindergarten...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards