Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
KristinB!
member
Re: What was the worst part of labor for you?
the aftermath.
my labor was pretty easy thanks to my newly acquired best friend the anesthesiologist. it was the tear, the allergic reaction to the stitches, and the resulting re-tear that i remember.
17 hours of a foley bulb that no one seemed to know what to do with.
31 hours total of induced labor, only to get to 5cm 50% and be taken for c-section
TTC#1 Chart
TTC#2 Chart
IUI #1 - #4 (repronex trigger) = BFN
IUI#5 on 10/28/2008 ** BFP 11/10/08 ** EDD 07/21/09 *** It's a GIRL (07/14/09)
med/treatment free BFP 06/28/10. EDD 03/05/11 *** GIRL #2 (02/23/11)
beta#1 @ 17dpo = 1296 .... beta#2 @ 19dpo = 3034
it's the Bug and Baby Belle!
In my bag: Canon 60D, 50mm 1.4, Tamron 28-75 2.8, 430exii
Back Labor and then the pain afterwards. The Hemmies were so bad from the pushing. That was prob the worst for me. I cried for over a week after - everytime I had to use the bathroom.
Back Labor and 3 hours of pushing because DD was sunny side up. She should've been c-sectioned.
19 hours of unmedicated labor with contractions 2 minutes apart, during which time I only dilated to 4 cm.
And I wasn't induced. I just progressed REALLY slowly. Until I finally caved in and got the epidural. Then it was only another 5 hours.
The 20 mins when they kicked up the pitocin which sent me into having contraction after contraction w/ NO break and they were horribly strong! During those 20 minutes, DD also dropped and I dilated from 2 to 8 cm (yes, in 20 mins)!! It was HELL! OMG.
With DD1, it wasn't nearly that bad.. the worst part w/ her was probably my emotions/moodiness after
BFP 5/07 - Kylie born 2/08. BPF 2/09 - Alexandra born 10/09.
TTC since 8/13 - diagnosed difficulty conceiving due to LP defect. Took vitamin B and Vitex Berry to help lengthen.
BFP 2/14 - Missed M/C found at 8.5 weeks. D&C at 9w2d. Partial Molar Pregnancy.
BFP 11/14
My Pregnancy(ies) Blog
With my first, pushing. I just remember being so tired and not feeling like I could do it.
With my second, going through transition with no epidural. Then being told an epi wouldn't work and FREAKING out. I did get an epi and it did end up working in time, but man, I was not in a good state of mind at that point.
Annelise 3.22.2007 Norah 10.24.2009 Amelia 8.7.2011
Back labor was excruciating.
The pushing was really painful, not a relief like people always say.
And the aftermath was a major disappointment- having to transfer to a hospital, DS was in NICU for 5 days. I had to be put to sleep to get stitched up (2 second degree tears) and stop my bleeding. Yeah, not fun.
I'm hoping next time things will be A LOT smoother!
Loss #6 2014 Loss #7 (chemical) 2014
~DS Born! 2009~
~DD Born! 2013~
I can't decide between
1) Back Labor
2) The fear of DD's health when her heart rate dropped to 60 bpm...twice. They had me sign some sort of form in case I had to go in for an emergency c/s. I also had to wear an oxygen mask for 9 hours because of that.
3) Having a douche on-call Dr.
4) Tearing up and down (and feeling it happen) thanks to Dr. Douche vacuuming her out
5) The IV, the nurse made a poor 1st attempt and my arm was killing me.
6) Pushing for 3 hours
7) The stitches, I felt those going in.
The whole event plus caring for a newborn and healing caused me to lose my appetite for a month. My whole body hurt for days afterwords. It's enough to make me hold off on wanting to TTC for awhile.
UGH.
Being induced for pre-e, the magnesium drip with the accessories: blood pressure cuff that inflated every 15 minutes, the catheter (actually, that was not that bad - I was glad to not have to worry about getting up to pee!), the internal and external contraction monitors, the pitocin. 28 hours of labor with no epidural (my choice in case of a C-Section - I'd rather have a spinal than to be topped off with an epidural).
Getting to 100% effaced - but only to 5 cm and STUCK there.
The C-Section was the best part. I got the spinal and felt tons better already.
The couple of hours that we thought baby's heartbeat was dangerously low (never determined if that was the case or if the monitor was not picking it up well) and we kept thinking c-section at any moment.
And the contractions before the epidural were pretty rough - but I only made it to 3 cm before the epi so I can't IMAGINE how bad they would be during transition for med-free folks!!
Getting it started! I had to be induced at 41 weeks and the cervadil did not work the first time. It ended up taking close to 24 hours just to get labor kick started, which meant I had to lay in the uncomfortable hospital bed from Wednesday night until Friday afternoon when DS was finally born.
I hated the just laying there, it made my back go numb and I became a huge diva about having my pillows adjusted! LOL
The labor itself was awesome, once it freaking started! I got an epi though so that might have had something to do with it...
I had an amazing labor and birth but if I had to pick the worst part I guess would be the back labor when he was positioned wrong.
For me it was the internal checks they did to see how far along I was! I could handle the contractions but I could not stand the pain of the internal checks! So I got an epidural. After the epidural the midwife wanted to check me and I said no because I was still too scared that it would hurt.
Then the pushing was pretty miserable. My nurse was not helpful and hindered my pushing ablities. I was too exhausted to tell anyone what I wanted to do.
Ending in a c-section since baby was stuck.
Everything. My water broke hours before contractions started, so when they did they went from nothing to incredibly unbearable immediately. Then the doctors told me I needed Pit because I wasn't progressing, so those contractions were even worse. The epis that I was told would make me wonderfully oblivious failed, twice. B's head was stuck so it felt like I had a bowling ball was lodged in my pelvis. At one point I had 10 contractions back-to-back and B's heart rate plummeted (it was like an episode of ER with nurses rushing the room) so they took me off the Pit just to turn it back on again after he was stable. My IV burned like a motherfvcker and the catheter made my crotch feel like it was on fire.
Oh, and the fact that it took the SOB's 28 hours to decide to do a c-section. I was promised at my final OB appt. that if I wasn't showing progress they would do surgery, and absolutely no more than one round of Pit. Let's just say, they were lucky I was so exhausted by the time it was over because I probably would have ripped someone a new assshole otherwise.
Mes Petit Choux
I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then. ~ Alice
With DS, the worst pain was contractions and that wasn't even that bad. The hardest part was pushing. All in all, though, it wasn't bad at all.
With DD... don't even get me started. The entire thing was the worst. The Pitocin, the 36 hours of hardcore labor with no pain meds, the pushing, the scary aftermath, and even the healing. BAD. The absolute worst pain about all of it was the 7-8 hours before I started pushing, and the back labor. I still have back problems and it's been over 8 months.
My water broke but I didn't progress so I had to be induced. I had contractions two minutes apart for 18 hours. Some contractions lasted 3 minutes or longer. 5 hours in I got an epidural and that wore off so I got another big epidural. The pain in my back and ass and the 3-4 minute long contractions were the worst for me.
I had almost the same experience and would say the same thing. The drive to the hospital was pretty bad, and as soon as I got into a room to be admitted, I threw up in the sink. Love my epidural.
Well...at 39 weeks I was 0 cm dialated. And babys head was really really far down, so it was extremely painful for OB to check my cervix. So I was induced, and first they administered the cervidil...and I don't know if I had a bad reaction to it, or if they were just really rough getting it in there...but I was soo irritated the whole time it was in, and the whole next day when they took it out, even BEFORE I felt contractions. I really thought...things cant possibly get any more painful...
Well..I was wrong...cause once my water broke (after 5 hours of pitocin) the contractions were vicious!!! And the epidural only helped one side of my body! So I eventually got additional relief.
The pushing didn't bother me at all cause I was pretty well medicated at that point, except after pushing for 90 minutes...your "lower" muscles don't know how to stop pushing/contracting for a good half hour...and yeah, thats pretty painful.
OMG, I would have KILLED the nurse.
I had a 10 minute long contraction - followed by another - and another - and then I told my nurse that I quit. She immediately turned it off (it was doubled to see if that would help before the inevitable C).