DHs 30th B-day is on Aug 20. Im due on the 9th.
i was thinking of doing a Fijian Theme Surprise Party for him that weekend here at the house for about 20 people. i really want to do something special for him but am i being too ambitious by thinking i can throw a party?
i was going to do it on a friday night so i can prepare all day long, and id call his boss to make sure that he doesnt leave work early and to try to keep him there a bit late so he doesnt get home until 8ish.
Re: am i totally insane for thinking of this?
I think it would be fun. You can set the date and time, and if you don't feel up to doing all the cooking you could make it a potluck or just do something really simple.
I say you are insane because last year I prepared for DH's surprise 30th birthday for about 5 days (and I wasn't working it was summer vacation)!
That included cleaning the house, purchasing all the party supplies, and cooking.
I can not imagine doing that with a new baby at home, too!
I wouldn't have been able to at that point. Plus if you go even a week overdue, there's a good chance you could still be in the hospital around his birthday. I'd probably go simple, or plan him a big party a few weeks after his birthday instead of on the actual day.
Not to mention 20 people around my newborns, wanting to hold them and touch them and wipe their germs all over them, would have driven me up a damn wall. And I'm not really the type of person to think, "OMG the germs!"
http://oi62.tinypic.com/2w73hq9.jpg
holy crap. i did the 4th of july party in 2 days but that was for 100people-yes i did all the cooking lol. im hoping that i can have my mom come over and help out that afternoon. she has summer hours and works 10 min from me. im also going to try and recruit my younger sister for help.
In short, yes.
Even if you have the baby on time, vaginal with a fairly "easy" delivery I can *almost* guarentee you will not want to throw a party.
I had a super easy delivery, no tears, etc and I still couldn't be on my feet for more than 10 minutes or so at a time at that point without my vag feeling like it was throbbing and as big as a car. Not to mention the constipation issues. lol
I would much rather have thrown a party at 40 weeks pregnant than less than two weeks PP.
Just being realistic here. You never know when you go into labor or how your labor/recovery will go. Also, I was SO emotional those first couple weeks, the last thing I would have wanted to do is host a party.
Ok, so I *may* have dawdled a bit with both the cooking and the cleaning but there is no way I would be able to host a party with a new baby. And I didn't even think about the germy hands all over my baby!
Also, just for some context. I had a pretty great recovery overall. So I'm not the super whiny, poor me type. I was back to running at like 5 weeks PP.
Basically, unless you have some people to essentially do everything for you I wouldn't do it. And again, if you go overdue, with a c section you could still be in the hospital at that time.
Are you joking? I can't tell.
Newsflash: newborns don't have "bedtimes." They eat every 2 hours or so. Unless you birth a champion sleeper straight from the womb your plan is laughable.
I'm not trying to be mean either, just realistic.
ETA: And this is coming from someone who has/had a very "easy" baby. If you really think you can do it, then go for it. But you just never know what kind of baby, labor, recovery, etc you are going to have.
I was thinking this but since I don't yet have an outside baby I thought maybe I was wrong.
I think if you want to have a big party wait for his 31st!
We'll be celebrating my 31st as my big birthday but doing it late (I'm due 10 days before my birthday)! And we didn't do my 30th because we were pregnant still at that point.
DS was wide awake from 7-11PM for months when he was an infant. That was just his awake time.
in the OP i mentioned that my mom will be there to help also-ill be there for the boob lol between pumping and boob i think it might work. hopefully with 2 people on baby duty it might work
either that or im just trying really hard to do something amazing for my Hs bday that might not be feasible
I completely missed the fact that it will be at night.
No way would I have been able to, and my kids slept pretty great for newborns (only woke up twice a night, just long enough to eat and burp, and always at the same time). I was in bed asleep every night, as soon as the duo was down for the night. You couldn't have paid me to stay up any later. I was so.freaking.exhausted. (not to mention the amount of pain I was still in) even with DH home to help the first 2 weeks, and I know I got more rest than a lot of singleton moms do in the first days. At only 2 weeks (or less) out, you're still trying to figure out what schedules work best for you and baby, and just general routines.
I mean, if you really want to do this then go for it because yes you CAN, but be aware that you may change your mind after having a newborn in the house for a few days. The exhaustion in the beginning is just something you really can't comprehend until you've been there. Plus, as newborns, my babes didn't go down "for the night" until 10pm most nights. Even with a party starting at 8, chances are your kid isn't going to be in the crib for the night yet.
For most women, moods are still all over the place that soon after birth. I, and most other moms I know both here and IRL, would have turned into an emotional wreck at the thought of having a big party less than 2 weeks pp.
Dude, ours was around then too. 7pm to 9pm most nights for about 4 weeks with Nathan, and 6pm to 10 pm every.fvcking.night for over 2 months with Riley. ::cringes at the memories of that time::
I really don't think I would have been able to do it. I'm coming from the opposite end of the spectrum from Alex. I had a c-section, needed blood, and my baby refused to sleep unless someone was holding him.
Even if you have an easy baby, the bulk of your time is going to be spend with the baby. Plus you're going to be sore (vag or incision) and your breasts/nipples are going to be painful too.
Abraham Arthur 2/21/10 // Asher Kendall 11/11/11
Can you celebrate his birthday a month or so late, then he would be REALLY surprised? I would have been ok doing it closer to two months PP, but not two weeks.
Whatever you decide, good luck!
TTC#1 Chart
TTC#2 Chart
IUI #1 - #4 (repronex trigger) = BFN
IUI#5 on 10/28/2008 ** BFP 11/10/08 ** EDD 07/21/09 *** It's a GIRL (07/14/09)
med/treatment free BFP 06/28/10. EDD 03/05/11 *** GIRL #2 (02/23/11)
beta#1 @ 17dpo = 1296 .... beta#2 @ 19dpo = 3034
it's the Bug and Baby Belle!
Yes. I had an easy l&d and a very easy baby and, with the exception of having my apendix out at 6 day pp, an easy recovery, but at 11 days pp I would not have been up for throwing a party. My vag hurt more than my incisions from the appendectomy! And at that point Jake was eating all the time in the evenings, like spending an hour eating, then 30 minutes sleeping then back to eating for an hour, and did this until about 10 or 11 pm before going out for a long 3 hour stretch.
I just think it is a little ambitious.
oh my goodness you made me laugh. Babies don't really "go to bed". Newborns eat generally every 2 - 3 hours if your lucky to go that long between. Then they sit up for a bit occasionally and need to be burped.
Sydney generally was finally "in bed" around 11pm, but would be up again around 1am to eat. Getting her into her crib any sooner was impossible that early on. The swing out in the living room was a better bet. Plus for some reason - it's the evening hours that were the fussiest time for most babies I know.
TTC#1 Chart
TTC#2 Chart
IUI #1 - #4 (repronex trigger) = BFN
IUI#5 on 10/28/2008 ** BFP 11/10/08 ** EDD 07/21/09 *** It's a GIRL (07/14/09)
med/treatment free BFP 06/28/10. EDD 03/05/11 *** GIRL #2 (02/23/11)
beta#1 @ 17dpo = 1296 .... beta#2 @ 19dpo = 3034
it's the Bug and Baby Belle!
if you read my response to this you would have seen that i will have help for that night. but i guess that was to much trouble to do.
obviously i have never had a baby before thats why i was asking a question.
no wonder this board is dying down.
I vote forget the party this year. Having a baby is amazing enough.
TTC#1 Chart
TTC#2 Chart
IUI #1 - #4 (repronex trigger) = BFN
IUI#5 on 10/28/2008 ** BFP 11/10/08 ** EDD 07/21/09 *** It's a GIRL (07/14/09)
med/treatment free BFP 06/28/10. EDD 03/05/11 *** GIRL #2 (02/23/11)
beta#1 @ 17dpo = 1296 .... beta#2 @ 19dpo = 3034
it's the Bug and Baby Belle!
Um, no it just sounds like someone doesn't like the answers she is getting. Everyone was being really helpful and seems like you just wanted everyone to say that you would totally be able to do it.
Your last comment is just ridiculous.
Oh geez, don't get your panties in a twist. I think everyone is trying to be very helpful and giving you their experiences.
Who knows, maybe your baby will STTN when put down at 7pm at 11 days old.
::rolls eyes::
Ok, based on what I have been reading from everyone here this is what I'm hearing.
If you have an easy baby then yes, this could be a really fun birthday parts.
However if you don't have an easy baby your mom better be ready to do almost everything that needs to get done. If your baby is prone to crying you might have to hold him the whole time while she is cleaning and cooking. You also may have to be willing to miss all/most of the party because of said crying baby.
Ultimately it's up to you but the experienced moms on here seem to think it would be better to have the party either earlier or later.
Seriously? She probably missed your response in the 10,000 posts from people who have BTDT telling you that there's no way in hell they could have that soon pp.
If you want to throw the party then throw the party. If you think having your mom and whoever else there to help will be enough then do it. If you go through with this I hope it works out, but don't be surprised if the night turns out completely different than you expect. And yes, it is pretty laughable to expect that a newborn will be in bed by 8pm. It really is.
Raise your hand if you can forsee a Vent post in the future, say mid august, going something like this...
"Ugh, my baby won't stop crying and I am trying to throw a farking party!"
::raises hand::
whoa, let's step back for a second. If I offended you in anyway with my response, I am sorry. It didn't make me laugh in a condescending way.. more of in a "wow, I remember thinking that way" way. Pre-baby I really probably would've thought I could maybe do a party too... Hell, I was planning on TTC at 3 months pp before she arrived. However, a baby really does change things A LOT. I had my return trips to the RE all planned out in my head. I'd know the whole 2 years we TTC'd that I'd be trying right away again - wishing for Irish twins. Boy, my reality changed dramatically those first weeks/months. Seriously in the first 10 days I was SO overly emotional that I told myself I was never ever ever having a baby again. I didn't sleep for 4 days straight between my induction, 31 hours labor, hosp. stay, and screaming (for 7 hours) newborn our first night home. I wanted to crawl in a hole and literally die at that point. And yes, I had help the first weeks. My mom and DH both were around full time - it's still exhausting.
I think I'm starting to ramble here, but my point is, what you think you can do/handle may change drastically once the little one is here. If you are insanely miserable or exhausted, I'd hate to see you having to entertain on top of everything else.
(and yes, I didn't read the responses first - I rarely do when there are several. Usually, I wanted to type out whatever response is fresh in my mind if it's a personal-related experience type response.... then I go back and read. Sorry)
TTC#1 Chart
TTC#2 Chart
IUI #1 - #4 (repronex trigger) = BFN
IUI#5 on 10/28/2008 ** BFP 11/10/08 ** EDD 07/21/09 *** It's a GIRL (07/14/09)
med/treatment free BFP 06/28/10. EDD 03/05/11 *** GIRL #2 (02/23/11)
beta#1 @ 17dpo = 1296 .... beta#2 @ 19dpo = 3034
it's the Bug and Baby Belle!
to me it read like "i laughed because you are an idiot for thinking like that." maybe i am. but i have no freaking clue on what to expect in the next few months. i freely admit that. the babies i know IRL have been very very easy babies for the most part so maybe in my sheltered good baby bubble family i think it may be possible. all i know about labor and a newborn is what ive read-which as we all know means sh!t because every baby/birth/mom is different.
maybe it can work out with some help-maybe it wont. who knows. i just think its really bitchy for all of the snark in this thread for a question that there is no possible way for anyone to know the answer to.
ETA: TY for clairfing what you meant.
You didn't get snark until you started in with the attitude.
I was giving you my honest opinion. It stands.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
Ok you have just crossed over into loony land. What snark? You asked a question and everyone gave their opinion and then you got all defensive. And, um, you are the one that asked the question that "there is no possible way for anyone to know the answer to."
It just comes down to you wanted everyone to agree that you could do it and that just wasn't the case.
Gia, I'm surprised that as a reg you think this is snark. I really am. You got honest opinions, and nothing more, until you copped an attitude. Yes people said that it was laughable that someone could think a newborn would be likely to be in bed by 8pm... but it was not snarky, it was honestly people finding it humorous because it is. I would maybe expect the average woman to think that's a likely possibility, but anyone who has been on TB for any length of time, and read about people and their new babies on here, should know how rare that is.
You wanted to know if people thought you were "insane" for thinking you can pull off a party less than 2 weeks pp. It's not snarky for people to say that yes it's a little bit crazy to do that. If you want to do it then fine, do it, but it's ridiculous to think that others are being intentionally snarky for giving their experiences and saying they wouldn't have. Plus, if it's a question that nobody can know the answer to because everyone is different, then why ask in the first place, especially if you're going to be offended by people's answers?
The snark didn't come until you started with the attitude.
It sounds like you want to do this party and already have your mind made up. You asked for experiences and opinions and didn't like what you got. Don't get all defensive and say people are snarking you. You've giving out a lot of snark in your day on the bump, so don't run away and cry because we hurt your feelings for once.
No ones telling you not to do the party, but your expectations of this glamorous, wonderfully fun night-time party maybe be a bit unrealistic. They were just trying to get you to see a side of it you may not have thought of before.
My baby was extremely easy, slept great from the beginning. But for a newborn, sleeping great is every 2-3 hours. It may be unrealistic for you to think you can "sneak away" for 10 minutes a time and feed your child. They have other needs, and being in a house with 20 people, music, and what not - not the best environment for your newborn.
(just adding 2 more cents here)... BFing Sydney when she was that young was a 1/2 hour minimum. Just so you know and can work that into your plans, if you are going the BF'ing route.
oh, and on the plus side... noise helped calm S when she was newborn. Fussy and wont go to sleep? I would do a little vacuuming or actually blow dry my air. Vacuum and blow dryer would knock her out almost instantly (ironically, both now make her very upset). So maybe party noise will be beneficial in the long run.
TTC#1 Chart
TTC#2 Chart
IUI #1 - #4 (repronex trigger) = BFN
IUI#5 on 10/28/2008 ** BFP 11/10/08 ** EDD 07/21/09 *** It's a GIRL (07/14/09)
med/treatment free BFP 06/28/10. EDD 03/05/11 *** GIRL #2 (02/23/11)
beta#1 @ 17dpo = 1296 .... beta#2 @ 19dpo = 3034
it's the Bug and Baby Belle!