DH and I have been talking about names for weeks, read books and websites, made and compared lists, etc. We have not found any favorite boys names in common.
I've gotten positive comments about DH's favorite name on this board, and from a few people IRL. I've finally agreed to name our son the name that DH likes best, even though I am still not really in love with the name. I like it, but I really don't love it.
I've started referring to the baby by name to try and get used to it. Any other advice on how I can get more comfortable with the name we've chosen for our son?
FWIW, the name we've chosen is Wesley, nn Wes.
Re: Agreed to a name I don't love
I have no advice on how to get more comfortable with a name. IMO if you dont love a name then do not settle or agree on it. Im sorry but i can not imagine naming my child a name i was not in love with. You still have tons of time and there are tons of names out there that i am sure you and your Dh can both love. So my only advice to you is to not settle for a name because if you dont love it, you might regret it later on...keep looking! Good luck!
By the way Wesley is a nice name.
When I was pregnant with DD, I agreed to a name that DH loved. I was not in love with it, it was nice and all, but I wouldn't have thought twice about the name if DH hadn't brought it up. We started calling DD by her name before she was born and, after a while, it just started to fit. Soon it wasn't just a name, it was her name. And I started to love the name because it was her name. I have no regrets.
If you are sure you want to use this name, then just embrace it whole-heartedly and it will start to feel more natural, especially after LO arrives.
If you don't like the name - don't agree to it!!!!!!!
Trust me you will begin to hate it. My friend did this - and she can't even call her child by name.
Find something you both love - you have plenty of time. My baby wasn't named until he came out!
FWIW - I do like the name you picked
After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v705/arriinthere/PJ/?action=view
Personally I think it's unrealistic to expect both parents to LOVE a name. If you can find a name that you both do- great. But I think that more couples than not have to compromise.
People are telling you to hold out. Well, what if (as has already happened) your DH doesn't "Love" any of the names you love? And he refuses to give in too...???
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
OMG, I was in this EXACT SAME SITUATION. My DH hated all boy names, I gave him dozens and dozens and scoured baby books and family trees and the only thing he liked was Wesley, which I thought was okay, but a little cutesy, and I was beginning to get worried and then...
we found out it was a girl.
I am SOOOOOO relieved. Well, at least for a few years.
Do *not* give in to a name you can't love.
This is your son too! Don't just give it because DH loves it. Don't rule it out, but go back to the drawing board! With our 1st, we both went on baby websites, and picked lists separately... then got together to discuss maybes, hell nos and loves! We agreed with names we both loved for our first, and we both LOVE our boy name picked out for this child, but are unsettled on a girl name.
Don't give in... I do think it's possible to find a name you both love.
Thanks for the feedback everyone. I don't love the name, but I wouldn't have agreed to it if I hated it. It's just not a name I would have ever thought to use if DH didn't love it so much. Right now, it sounds funny to me coming out of my mouth. If anyone else were to name their son Wesley I would love it for them, I just never imagined it would be my son's name. It's something I need to get used to.
I know we're only halfway through the pregnancy and I could have had more time to decide, but it felt right to make this decision now. The look on DH's face was awesome when I called the baby Wes, and I wouldn't take back my decision for the world.
Once you meet your little man, the name will grow on you.
DH really wanted to name DS Matthew. It wasn't what I would have picked, but I didn't dislike it or anything and it was a family name, so I agreed. Now I can't imagine DS with any other name.
You still have a lot of time to pick out a name that you both love. I don't think it's fair to you to name your child something that you aren't completely on board with.
DH and I agreed that we both had to love the name. We compared lists, crossed off the majority of names, and came up with a select few that we actually both loved.
*** BFP #3 - angel baby at 8w2d - D&C 1.31.14 ***
*** BFP #4 - Chloe Grace, the 'C' to complete our 'A & B' - born Feb 25th, 2015 at 22w2d, lived for 2.5hrs ***
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Advice"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1c7a3f.aspx" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0" /></a>
I did too with my first son's name... I settled. After months and months and months of researching and hubs was set on a name I just threw in the towel. Just like you, I liked it, but it wasn't love. BUT... it totally worked out. Once you meet him and tell him his name... it seems to all work out and now I love it. So hopefully it will be the same for you. And by the way... I love Wesley/Wes.
I am in the same boat...if we're having a boy then his name will be Darryl-after DHs mothers brother who passed away.
I don't love it.
Oh honey I've been there! My husband just LOVES his name. Loves it. And was totally offended when I said I didn't want to name our child Jr. after him! He couldn't believe I couldn't want to name our child after him! (His name is fine, but I consider it an adult's name-sounds weird for a kid unless you add a "y".) And I just didn't like Jr or JR (I dated a JR-bad flashbacks!) or his name w/ a "y". I tried to get him to agree to other names but he wouldn't budge. My mom said I had to let this one go (although I thought I might die if I had to!) and she let me know that my brother's name wouldn't have been her first choice either (my brother is the III).
I put my skills as an attorney to use & negotiated for us both to win. I gave him two options for nicknames that the baby has to go by (having two people in the same house w/ the same name is SO CONFUSING!) And I said since he was getting his first choice & I wasn't getting any thing I wanted out of it, that I got exclusive naming rights to the next child. He's naming this child, I get the next. He got what he wanted, I got what I wanted (he poo-pooed several of the cute names I like-can't doing any thing about it for the next one!). He agreed, and was SO happy.
And it's true, once you start calling the baby by the name that's picked, it really becomes your baby's name & it grows on you.
I tried all the tricks other posters had suggested & none of them worked. This was the only thing that made us both happy! So maybe you could try re-opening discussions & negotiate some sort of deal for you guys! Good luck!
He isn't here yet, so I wouldn't consider the name game a closed issue. I will guess that your husband will be receptive to you wanting to wait until you find one you BOTH love. If not, then when your cutie is born, simply say, he doesn't look like a Wesley and pick another name then....
Just some thoughts...
If you want to convice your husband to change his top name choice here is what worked for me.
I googled the name in question too see who popped up with that first/middle name combo, lucky for me it was the name of Miss Gay Missorri (a crossdressing male) , so my husband agreed it wasn't a great pick for our daughters name.
That's a nice way to explain it, Kryssy. I agreed to my daughter's name when I was 20 hours into labor and I was willing to agree to anything. My husband proposed name after name while I was riding out contractions (back labor, nonetheless!) and I finally told him to just pick one. After she was born, the hubby began calling all of our relatives to let them know the baby had finally arrived. I was one of the last people to find out her name!! We named her Sylvia Claire, and we're calling her Sylvie for short. Although it wasn't at the top of my list, I am starting to really like the name because it's the name of my beautiful baby.
BTW, I think Wesley (Wes for short) is a great name. It's a classic that will never go out of style.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
<a href
I haven't read all of the other answers so someone may have already said this...
I don't think you need to LOVE a name to choose it. The minute you look into your little ones face and he is yours in your arms he will BE Wesley... No questions asked nothing to think about. You will love the name then simple BECAUSE it is your childs name and you don't need another reason.
From my experience with #1... My husband would not admit to liking ANY name because he wanted to name our son after himself (first and middle to make him a jr. which I did NOT like) Finally after MUCH discussion he caved and let me have my way (not naming the baby jr) and he finally talked about names and we chose one that he suggested and we both liked...(Landen). Once that decision (which was literally not until about a month before my due date!) was made I had a lot of mixed feelings up until he was born. I kept thinking... Is this the PERFECT name?? Turns out as soon as I saw him and announced his name (we hadn't told anyone until after he was born) that was HIM and I loved it just as much as I love him... I cannot imagine naming him anything else and I know no matter what name we chose I would feel the same way.
I hope this helps you feel like your name will be "the one" and you will fall in love with it (even if you don't until after he arrives) Good luck!
Wish me luck with naming baby #2... we haven't found out the sex yet so we haven't really started talking about names yet. (although my husband HAS brought up using his name again... this time without the middle name so not a jr... I might actually go for it this time We will see!)
I feel like it should be the name for the babe- but good luck & keep me posted how it turns out!! We still have a while to go, but I love good advice!
Wesley is not a bad name at all but like you, it's not my favorite. I do like Wes for a nickname and my husband's name is Weston. A few people do call him Wes. I love the name Weston. If you like it, maybe it would be a good compromise for you too?
In any case, my guess is that you'll eventually get used to his name and like it. It will fit him and you won't be able to imagine anything else. If you are really worried about it, maybe you can go back to the drawing board.
If your heart is not set, then do not agree. You have ample time to find another name you both love...after all you will call you child this for the rest fo their life.
DH and I were in a similar situation, except our positions were switched from yours. We weeded out a lot of names already, and I finally came with one that I love. DH liked the name, but wasn't completely sold. After putting the task on the backburner for 2 months, DH decided that he wasn't going to find a name he'll like better. It was he who started calling our baby by the name. I was hesitant to commit at first. Now we call baby by name all the time!
I felt bad for making DH settling for something that he doesn't love, but now it seems like he refers to the baby by name more than I do!
So from experience, I think it's good that you're trying out the name. But if you're still uncomfortable with it, you and DH will need go back to the drawing board.
Good luck!