So how 'bout an offical FFFC? Anyone?

howleyshell · April 2010

(Flame Free Friday Confessions)

Because I've got a lot of bad Mommy guilt to get off my chest and was about to jump all over the other confessions post!

hee hee

Anyone want to hear my confession?

And frankly you can flame me if you'd like. I doubt you'll say anything worse to me than I say to myself.

rispergirl · April 2010

Yes. Go! (While I try to decide which one mine should be...)

LIAngel · April 2010

I wanna hear!

marcuej · April 2010

Share, share!!

Here's mine...we're going to my hometown today for the weekend. I'm filled with anxiety because we're staying with my step-mom. She is a freakin' nut job and stresses me out sooooo badly. Ever since my dad passed away she has gotten even worse. I feel obligated to stay with her, but I'd rather just get a hotel and not even tell her we're in town. Ugh!!!!

howleyshell · April 2010

School is kicking my butt.

It's making me a bad mother, a worse wife, fat, and tired.

I rented 4 movies so I can ignore my kids over the next 2 weeks to get thru the end of the semester. And this from the woman who HATES it when people use TV as a baby sitter. Yet another of my gazillion "never say never" parenting experiences.

I drank caffeine last night. I think caffeine is evil and avoid it at all costs but I just got to the breaking point last night and needed help. Now I'll probably stay on it until the semester is over and then I'll have to go thru the withdrawl process. It sucks.

efooey · April 2010

I'll listen and I promise I won't flame!

howleyshell · April 2010

marcuej:
Here's mine...we're going to my hometown today for the weekend. I'm filled with anxiety because we're staying with my step-mom. She is a freakin' nut job and stresses me out sooooo badly. Ever since my dad passed away she has gotten even worse. I feel obligated to stay with her, but I'd rather just get a hotel and not even tell her we're in town. Ugh!!!!

UGH... I feel your pain there.

I plan to have ZERO ties to my Dad's wife once he's gone.

I'm sorry you still feel obligated to deal with her.

Could you split the difference and tell her you're in town but you're getting a hotel room? (so you're not under foot too much of course)

I hate that family obligation feeling - especially when it's someone your parents married AFTER each other!

rispergirl · April 2010

Ok, mine is that my mom is so on my nerves lately. We are very close and she is going through a horrible time and I feel so guilty because I basically don't feel like being there for her right now. My 102 year old grandfather lives with her and he just got out of the hospital and isn't doing all that well. She's completely tied down to him (literally can't leave him alone ever) and she's going crazy. He's on her nerves and the situation is really getting her down. She calls me a million times a day to vent and I sometimes pretend I'm too busy and don't answer or make an excuse to get off the phone. She really is in a terrible situation and I know she needs to talk. But it's so negative all the time and I want to feel happy. Basically I want to abandon the problem to her because it's not convenient or fun for me. That sucks. Especially since she is always there for me when I need her. Boo for me.

?N Luv? · April 2010

I got a + hpt on Weds and haven't told my husband yet. I won't tell him for another week (he is OOT). Had some brown spotting so hoping it's a sticky baby and I can give him good news next week

LCB34 · April 2010

I have eaten crap all day today but I don't feel bad about it. I have had a cinnamon roll, a bagel with full fat cream cheese, popcorn, hamburger, fries, and chocolate.

This is very unlike me but it has been a nice break from healthy living!

Mouseygail · April 2010

I can't seem to make myself take my PNV anymore...I think i've taken a handful since somewhere around 16w. not sure what my deal is...

marcuej · April 2010

howleyshell:
marcuej:

Here's mine...we're going to my hometown today for the weekend. I'm filled with anxiety because we're staying with my step-mom. She is a freakin' nut job and stresses me out sooooo badly. Ever since my dad passed away she has gotten even worse. I feel obligated to stay with her, but I'd rather just get a hotel and not even tell her we're in town. Ugh!!!!

UGH... I feel your pain there.

I plan to have ZERO ties to my Dad's wife once he's gone.

I'm sorry you still feel obligated to deal with her.

Could you split the difference and tell her you're in town but you're getting a hotel room? (so you're not under foot too much of course)

I hate that family obligation feeling - especially when it's someone your parents married AFTER each other!

Yeah, it really blows and makes the trip less enjoyable! We really don't have the money to shell out for a hotel right now. Trying to save every penny we have for my time off when the new baby comes. I have booked us really busy this weekend so we don't have to see her much. She is such a piece of work! She's only met Stella once and that's only because we went to Wenatchee one other time a copule of months ago. She is just bat sh*t crazy and it kills DH and I! I don't know how my dad put up with her.

howleyshell · April 2010

rispergirl:
Ok, mine is that my mom is so on my nerves lately. We are very close and she is going through a horrible time and I feel so guilty because I basically don't feel like being there for her right now. My 102 year old grandfather lives with her and he just got out of the hospital and isn't doing all that well. She's completely tied down to him (literally can't leave him alone ever) and she's going crazy. He's on her nerves and the situation is really getting her down. She calls me a million times a day to vent and I sometimes pretend I'm too busy and don't answer or make an excuse to get off the phone. She really is in a terrible situation and I know she needs to talk. But it's so negative all the time and I want to feel happy. Basically I want to abandon the problem to her because it's not convenient or fun for me. That sucks. Especially since she is always there for me when I need her. Boo for me.

I feel the same way when my Mom gets in a bad funk and leans on me a lot.

I think it's natural to have a smaller limit with our parents for this kind of thing that our friends. We compartmentalize them as people who's primary role is to be there for and support us so it's hard when those roles start to shift. And with aging parents I'm seeing them shift a LOT.

And the kicker? I didn't have my kids young so now I've got their issues AND small kids.

It's overwhelming sometimes to say the least.

There's only so much of me to go around, KWIM?

rispergirl · April 2010

howleyshell:
School is kicking my butt.
It's making me a bad mother, a worse wife, fat, and tired.
I rented 4 movies so I can ignore my kids over the next 2 weeks to get thru the end of the semester. And this from the woman who HATES it when people use TV as a baby sitter. Yet another of my gazillion "never say never" parenting experiences.
I drank caffeine last night. I think caffeine is evil and avoid it at all costs but I just got to the breaking point last night and needed help. Now I'll probably stay on it until the semester is over and then I'll have to go thru the withdrawl process. It sucks.

Really? TV and caffeine? Come on! That's not bad! It's not easy to have two little kids and go to school. Give yourself some slack!! You're not parking them in front of the TV for the rest of eternity. You are msot definitely not a bad mother. Do what you have to do to make it through the next two weeks and then we can all pretend this never happened.

nicolita14w · April 2010

I ate donuts for breakfast almost every day this week.

efooey · April 2010

here's mine...

I'm done being pg, during the day it's not so bad but at night I just feel like crap, sore, achey,back hurts, horrible pubic bone pain which leaves me limping and sleeping is really hard too. I swore I would never take a pgcy for granted but I'm so done and I'd really like my body back.

LCB34 · April 2010

Mouseygail:
I can't seem to make myself take my PNV anymore...I think i've taken a handful since somewhere around 16w. not sure what my deal is...

I am in the same boat. No clue what my problem is but I just don't take them anymore...

howleyshell · April 2010

efooey:
here's mine...
I'm done being pg, during the day it's not so bad but at night I just feel like crap, sore, achey,back hurts, horrible pubic bone pain which leaves me limping and sleeping is really hard too. I swore I would never take a pgcy for granted but I'm so done and I'd really like my body back.

Preaching to the choir here girlfriend!

The end of pregnancy #2 was sooooo hard!

I swear it was easier with 2u2 than it was with 1 + the belly.

Truck loads of labor dust! (and some pom poms until you make it over the finish line)

MrsJeffsWife2B · April 2010

Mine is that Jasper's toenails have had something funky going on for long time. (fungus?) and I never took him to the podiatrist. Now they are REALY bad (one is totally grown in and one is splitting) and I feel like a terrible neglectful mommy!!

beebe929 · April 2010

efooey:

here's mine...

I'm done being pg, during the day it's not so bad but at night I just feel like crap, sore, achey,back hurts, horrible pubic bone pain which leaves me limping and sleeping is really hard too. I swore I would never take a pgcy for granted but I'm so done and I'd really like my body back.

I am so with you!

alchris · April 2010

I got mine off my chest here yesterday, or I'd be confessing big time today!

No flames on anything from me, friends -- no worries! These aren't that bad and I empathize!

Mouseygail · April 2010

LCB34:
Mouseygail:
I can't seem to make myself take my PNV anymore...I think i've taken a handful since somewhere around 16w. not sure what my deal is...

I am in the same boat. No clue what my problem is but I just don't take them anymore...

Glad I'm not alone!! Its not even like I forget to take them...I'm in the bathroom and see them...and chose not to open up the bottle and take one! grr..

lrrb · April 2010

Mine is...I love my parents to DEATH but we are building a new house (well my dads construction company is building it) and I feel like no matter how much I want these front doors Im DYING to have my dad has the final say and he says...NO. I don't understand why, I keep telling him its OUR house and we will pay for anything that goes over budget anyways but for some reason he doesn't want us to have them. I can't figure it out and to be honest its starting to make me mad even though I adore my father and EVERYTHING he has done for us haha. I know its SOOOO dumb...but building a house is HARD work and when you want something really bad whats the big deal if you have a pay a little bit more if its what makes you happy in the long run, right?

bmf8140 · April 2010

I wish my neighbor's daughter would move out.

I really do love my neighborhood and most of my neighbors, but the ones right next door to us have a daughter who got had two babies in one year by two different dads. She is 22. She recently had a nervous breakdown and it ended with her somewhat tossing one of her children off of her balcony to someone who was trying to help her.

Since then, her poor parents have had custody of the kids. Her mom had to quit her job and now it's like they are parents again at 50. To two toddlers!

Well, now the girl is allowed to be around the kids again, but can't be alone with them. They are all living next door.

LONG story short, I want her to move b/c they are constantly outside playing and of course Bennett wants to play with them.It's two boys his age, so they have fun together. But that also means that I have to stand there and make small talk with the girl and her mom the whole time. It's seriously almost daily! Of course I want Bennett to have fun and learn how to play with others, but I'm so sick of not having any privacy or alone time!! And there's only so much she and I have to chat about. We don't have a lot in common...

5Foot · April 2010

I really do not like where I live. I dislike the people that live around us (we're in a townhouse), I hate dealing with HOA stuff (I'm the treasurer) and I really just want to move back East and have a home by ourselves without neighbors that close by. Sure the weather is great but that's about it.

LIAngel · April 2010

During naptime I usually play DVR "catch up" hoping I can watch at least 2 shows. If DS wakes up sooner than normal, then I bring him in "my" room (it has the TIVO and a bunch of my TV series box sets) with some toys so I can finish watching something and sometimes watch something else.

cjsbdl · April 2010

I keep stalling on our powder room renovation ("I can't find tile I like!" "I can't get in touch with the painter!") because it's one less bathroom I have to clean.

howleyshell · April 2010

bmf8140:
LONG story short, I want her to move b/c they are constantly outside playing and of course Bennett wants to play with them.It's two boys his age, so they have fun together. But that also means that I have to stand there and make small talk with the girl and her mom the whole time. It's seriously almost daily! Of course I want Bennett to have fun and learn how to play with others, but I'm so sick of not having any privacy or alone time!! And there's only so much she and I have to chat about. We don't have a lot in common...

We don't have a fence between our next door neighbor's back yard and ours. I watch their daughter (DS #1's BFF) every Monday. If either of them see each other outside it's a FIT wanting to go out.

We finally got real about it.

I told her that while I love that the kids play together I HAVE to cook dinner. So... now we take turns. If one of us is available and has the time they watch all the kids while the other goes inside to do what ever they need to do.

Do you trust the grandparents enough to leave him in their care for a bit while you go back inside?

Would you feel comfortable watching all of them for a bit to give them a break?

I feel you.

It's only gonna get worse as the weather gets nicer and the days get longer.

LVBlvd · April 2010

I am terrified of telling my parents I am pregnant. I am so close with my family, but I don't know how they are going to react to me being pregnant again so soon - and twins...forget about it. They are going to be shocked.

DH wants to tell them tonight. I feel sick about it.

bmf8140 · April 2010

howleyshell:
bmf8140:

LONG story short, I want her to move b/c they are constantly outside playing and of course Bennett wants to play with them.It's two boys his age, so they have fun together. But that also means that I have to stand there and make small talk with the girl and her mom the whole time. It's seriously almost daily! Of course I want Bennett to have fun and learn how to play with others, but I'm so sick of not having any privacy or alone time!! And there's only so much she and I have to chat about. We don't have a lot in common...

We don't have a fence between our next door neighbor's back yard and ours. I watch their daughter (DS #1's BFF) every Monday. If either of them see each other outside it's a FIT wanting to go out.

We finally got real about it.

I told her that while I love that the kids play together I HAVE to cook dinner. So... now we take turns. If one of us is available and has the time they watch all the kids while the other goes inside to do what ever they need to do.

Do you trust the grandparents enough to leave him in their care for a bit while you go back inside?

Would you feel comfortable watching all of them for a bit to give them a break?

I feel you.

It's only gonna get worse as the weather gets nicer and the days get longer.

I definitely don't trust the daughter, so I'd be afraid that if I went in for a bit, they'd switch it up on me. The girl's father is brutally honest about what happened and her behavior. The girl's mom seems very naive and thinks it was just a fluke incident brought on by prescription weight loss meds. I don't think the mom knows that I've heard the REAL story and am not too fond of the girl. I play it off well to avoid feeling uncomfortable!

Lizard1131 · April 2010

I did mine in the 'fake' one and feel like an a-hole now. I hate my job and want to get fired. I am in a serious funk and can't shake it! I feel like the worst mother....

shipoopiisforme · April 2010

i so want these babies to be fully cooked and not need a minute of nicu time, but if my dr was to tell me today that they would be 100% fine if i had a c-section like tomorrow i would be all over it. i am so over all this bedrest bs and really want to go home.

firsttogo · April 2010

I confessed yesterday, but Even with a surprise pregnancy, I feel an urge to tell people it was a treatment pregnancy. I fought so hard to overcome IF, but now I also hide behind it.

superned · April 2010

I'm going to use my (unborn) child to punish my ILs. How's that for flameful? Here's why:

Other than family and work, my passion in life is dog rescue. DH and I have been fostering abandoned/unwanted Labs for over five years now. We currently have a wonderful yellow Lab foster who has been with us since December. (He was actually saved as a stray by fellow SAIF'er dusk42 when she was 37 weeks pregnant!)

Well, my ILs have a female yellow Lab that they never got spayed because they wanted to breed her. I'm not going to get into a big debate about backyard breeders here, but let's just say that the last thing the world needs is more poorly-bred Labs (she's not a show dog and has had zero health and/or temperament testing). DH tried for well over a year to talk them out of it.

This week they told DH that they think the dog is pregnant. If she is, she would be due within two weeks of me. ILs live 1.5 hours away. There is no way that they should be leaving newborn puppies alone for that much time. And I'm not bringing the baby there both because I'm worried that their dog will become even more territorial and aggressive and also just because I want to punish them.

I spend so much of my time, energy, and money on rescue and they're just taking homes away from six, eight, ten, or more Labs that I could have helped to save. Crying

LVBlvd · April 2010

Since I have been pregnant, during Paige's naps, I get up in bed and watch Beverly Hills 90210 (original) reruns.

laura&dan05 · April 2010

My cousin is 20 and KU from a guy she has been dating for less than a year. She's due any day with a baby boy. I'm horribly jealous. I didn't go to her baby shower but did buy a gift. I just sent the gift today along with a card and a long note explaining how hard being it is to be a GOOD mom. The truth is I think being a mom is way easier than I ever imagined. I think it's because I get to be a SAHM and because Hannah is a laid back baby but instead of telling her that my intent was to scare her.

I'm sure I'll feel bad it later because I'm sure she's aware that the situation she is in won't be easy and it's not like me to be snarky or mean.

howleyshell · April 2010

LVBlvd:
I am terrified of telling my parents I am pregnant. I am so close with my family, but I don't know how they are going to react to me being pregnant again so soon - and twins...forget about it. They are going to be shocked.
DH wants to tell them tonight. I feel sick about it.

Dear lord can I relate to this one!

My mom's response: "What have you gotten yourself into? How are you ever going to care for 2 kids so young all by yourself with no family around?"

My response: "What have I gotten myself into? The family that I once feared I'd never have!"

It's tough when people have negative reactions, especially because they're usually playing on fears that you're already having. You're not dumb. You know this is going to have it's challenges.

I know their concerns are coming from the heart but it's so hard to hear anything other than pure joy when you work so freaking hard to achieve a pregnancy!

GL! Let us know how it goes.

AlissaCell701 · April 2010

I am a little late..I was outside painting my refrunished dresser. Not sure how it came out yet..

Anyway here is mine. I HATE, like REALLY HATE my DH's job and sometimes I really resent him for making me move away from home. I don't have many friends down here and all of our family is up North.

H works for a several professional sports teams and just got a semi promotion and has the worst schedule. Now with the summer, he works nights (depending on how long the home stand is) and weekends as well. It sucks..I just wantt to have a normal husband, who has a normal hour job. I hate having to do everything alone...I dread the weekends cause he is never around...

The worst part is that I am due to have this baby at really the worst time for him (All 3 sports that he works for start and end in late August early Sept). He doesn't think he is going to be able to take much time off after the birth and might have to go back to work right away..ugh...

stepgirl21 · April 2010

I literally want to steal my neighbors' dogs and relocate them somewhere far, far away. I barely slept at all last night thanks to having a cold while being 30 wks pg and this morning they start in with the barking at 6am that lasts for about and hour and a half. Angry

flutterby918 · April 2010

5Foot:
I really do not like where I live. I dislike the people that live around us (we're in a townhouse), I hate dealing with HOA stuff (I'm the treasurer) and I really just want to move back East and have a home by ourselves without neighbors that close by. Sure the weather is great but that's about it.

::butting in from IF::

I so feel you on this one (townhouse living). I feel like we have no privacy and we have a really shitty parking situation. I don't want to move back to MI, but I can't wait to get out of CA some days!!

::butting out::

LucyPevensie · April 2010

My sister's water got shut off yesterday. Her gas just got turned on last week after being shut off for over a week (no gas means no hot showers for her and her 3 kids and no ability to cook - not that anyone at that house ever cooks.) No water means you can't even wash your hands. Or flush the toilet.

I dropped off four huge jugs of spring water today for drinking/teeth brushing/etc. My mom dropped off hose water jugs for toilet flushing. Supposedly sister's former MIL is going to pay the bill. I have no idea when it will actually get turned back on.

I am so effing sick of nothing, nothing but bad effing news - especially in regard to this sister (I have 2.) I am sick of her, her depression, her inability to be organized and pay bills, her defensiveness and refusal to listen to or God forbid actually take and utilize any decent advice. I want to scream at her - but won't.

She exhausts me. She causes me terrible anxiety. She has a detrimental effect on my marriage. My husband is beyond fed up with all of this. I loaned her 200 bucks this week before water got shut off. I don't care about getting it back. I care that she is dragging my 8 and 16 year old nieces down the toilet with her. She's had terrible things happen - death of her husband, her son's mental illness - and right now I don't care. At all. I have no sympathy whatsoever. I am just pisssed and disgusted with her today.

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So how 'bout an offical FFFC? Anyone?

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