Need your honest opinions (baby shower ?)

aly&jj · April 2010

I am a teacher and the team leader for my grade. Today my principal sent us an e-mail saying that she is throwing a surprise baby shower for her secretary whose daughter in law is pregnant. The shower is not for the mom (whom we don't even know) it's for the grandmother. She asked us to get with our teams to see if we want to contribute food/decorations and told us where she was registered. Now, I find this a little uncomfortable considering I don't even know this girl, and I hate to put my team on the spot like that. I also feel obligated since it's my principal asking. What do you think and what would you do? I don't want to seem bitchy, but it is really an uncomfortable situation.

monkiem · April 2010

Eeew. That's pretty awkward. Also, your principal shouldn't make you feel obligated to do anything except teach the students and give them a good education!

Sorry, but I would be REALLY offended if I were invited to a baby shower for the GRANDMOTHER.

acppa · April 2010

Since it's the principal asking I'd check with your group and see what they think. Maybe you could make some food and get a small gift from the group.

TexasLadyBug · April 2010

Whats wrong with a grandmother baby shower? Get a gift that will help grandmother when her grandchild is visiting her.

Edit: If the shower is for the DIL then no I would not be doing anything for it. I mean at some point a line needs to be drawn. People can not expect everyone to get a shower who is related to someone who works in the school.

I would ask if it could be a grandmother babyshower instead.

holn76 · April 2010

Ask your team what they want to do and tell them how you feel about it. That is weird.

BarbieNCSU · April 2010

monkiem:

Eeew. That's pretty awkward. Also, your principal shouldn't make you feel obligated to do anything except teach the students and give them a good education!

Sorry, but I would be REALLY offended if I were invited to a baby shower for the GRANDMOTHER.

This exactly. That is a completely odd situation!

willowcormar · April 2010

I would ask if she is seriously having a shower for the grandma. That is just weird. Is the grandmother taking the baby as her own?

djfacemachine · April 2010

I don't think they should even be throwing this lady a baby shower, much less make people feel obligated to donate to it. But... since the principal asked, I guess you kinda have to. How many other teachers are in your group? Maybe if everyone chipped in $5 you could get a gift card or something.

JJ1973 · April 2010

Weird. On one hand, it seems like a nice gesture (to have a party or celebration for a grandmother-to-be) but on the other hand, it seems like a weird ploy for gifts.

I guess if I were you I might get the team together to purchase one nice gift for the grandmother (who you do know), and ignore the registry.

penelopepink09 · April 2010

Wait, what?? The shower is for the grandmother? What the heck!?

That is so awkward. I would just say you have prior commitments for that day or something along those lines...? Would that work?

KellyG6279 · April 2010

acppa:
Since it's the principal asking I'd check with your group and see what they think. Maybe you could make some food and get a small gift from the group.

This. I would ask for the groups input. And to be nice/polite, contribute something, even it's small.

coryandsuzanne · April 2010

That's VERY strange. I'd do as little as possible since you've never even met the mom-to-be.

Violet_McPurpleson · April 2010

monkiem:
Eeew. That's pretty awkward. Also, your principal shouldn't make you feel obligated to do anything except teach the students and give them a good education!

Sorry, but I would be REALLY offended if I were invited to a baby shower for the GRANDMOTHER.

I'm going to ditto this. Why on earth does the grandmother need a shower? The whole thing seems so tacky. I would give her an Emily Post book as a gift.

monkiem · April 2010

TexasLadyBug:

Whats wrong with a grandmother baby shower? Get a gift that will help grandmother when her grandchild is visiting her.

Edit: If the shower is for the DIL then no I would not be doing anything for it. I mean at some point a line needs to be drawn. People can not expect everyone to get a shower who is related to someone who works in the school.

I would ask if it could be a grandmother babyshower instead.

Thanks for your edit on that! Those are my thoughts exactly!

sillypit · April 2010

I actually read that baby showers for grandmothers are becoming a new trend.

monkiem · April 2010

Violet_McPurpleson:
monkiem:

Eeew. That's pretty awkward. Also, your principal shouldn't make you feel obligated to do anything except teach the students and give them a good education!

Sorry, but I would be REALLY offended if I were invited to a baby shower for the GRANDMOTHER.

I'm going to ditto this. Why on earth does the grandmother need a shower? The whole thing seems so tacky. I would give her an Emily Post book as a gift.

Hahahah! LOL...or how about a Gloria Vanderbilt Book of Etiquette....

jlthompson19 · April 2010

Wait, is the grandmother registered or the mom?

If the party is for the grandmother, why would someone buy off the mom's registry?

If the grandmother is registered, that is the weirdest, tackiest thing I have ever heard of.

The whole thing is strange, but I understand you not wanting to blow it off since it's your principal asking. Gotta keep nice with those in charge.

WinesNotWhines · April 2010

This is very odd, unless the grandmother will be raising the kid. Do you think that may be the case?

ougrad1 · April 2010

I think it's weird but, as a former teacher, I wouldn't want be the only one not participating. Get your team members to throw in 5 bucks and get a gift. Do the punch and ask each member of your team to bring one ingredient for the punch that you can throw together after school. Done.

skyejo · April 2010

A shower for the grandmother? Puh-lease. That sounds gift grabby and tacky to me. It's the grandmother, not the mother. Grandma can buy her own pack-n-play.

aly&jj · April 2010

Sorry for the confusion, the shower gifts will go to the daughter in law, but the shower will be held for the grandmother who is our secretary. It really is very strange.

Caymandreams · April 2010

Seriously? A baby shower for the grandmother? How ridiculous. That is very tacky and I would be offended if someone asked me to contribute to so something so absurd. Does he even throw showers for his pregnant teachers? Because if not then that would make this situation even more messed up.

KathrynBurkart · April 2010

aly&jj:

Sorry for the confusion, the shower gifts will go to the daughter in law, but the shower will be held for the grandmother who is our secretary. It really is very strange.

That is so strange! I guess since it's coming from the principal I would try to address it with the team. I'm sure they will find it odd too.

aly&jj · April 2010

Caymandreams:
Seriously? A baby shower for the grandmother? How ridiculous. That is very tacky and I would be offended if someone asked me to contribute to so something so absurd. Does he even throw showers for his pregnant teachers? Because if not then that would make this situation even more messed up.

Showers are not thrown for teachers, or the other 2 staff members who just had grandchildren arrive. Besides, it is 30 minutes before school starts, so it will just be to recieve gifts.

SnowflakeBride06 · April 2010

I feel for you, when I read your post I thought to myself "now I have heard everything!" Seriously a grandma baby shower for DIL wha?!

I agree with PP that said to ask your team and maybe do something small. I think the principal is out of line for expecting everyone to participate but to prevent any issues I would offer to do something like food and a small group gift

GL thats the weirdest baby shower related issue I've ever heard!!!

treala05 · April 2010

That is such a weird situation. I would have no interest in participating. However, since your principal asked you to poll your group, I think you should. If they want to participate perhaps you could bring cookies?

hbwj · April 2010

aly&jj:

Sorry for the confusion, the shower gifts will go to the daughter in law, but the shower will be held for the grandmother who is our secretary. It really is very strange.

That blows my mind! Tacky on so many levels for your boss to ask you to have a shower for her secretary's DIL. I wouldn't be happy about it if I were you but if the principle is asking for your groups participation I think you should do it. How many people do you have in your group?

I would get the DIL something small off her registry, like a $25 item or a big pack of diapers. Then bring something easy to the shower like cookies from the grocery store. Divide the entire cost of the $25 gift and the cookies among your group. If it were me I would participate but put as little effort into it as possible.

mysticporter · April 2010

I don't find anything inherently wrong with a small grandmother's shower, but I do find something wrong with pressuring people to help throw it. If she wants to do it, she should do it. It's also very weird IMO to pass around registry information. My mom and MIL both had grandmother's showers, but they were *very* small/informal things their friends did because they were out of state and missed mine, and there wasn't any passing of registry information...people just brought a book for the new grandma to read to LO or an outfit ("I love my Grandma" type stuff).

m+j · April 2010

I would do some food as a group and have everyone chip in $2-3 for a registry item. That's more than enough for a grandmother whose granddaughter you don't even know!

Honestly, if it were me, I would contribute some food items but make up an excuse as to why I can't attend. That would avoid me having to bring a gift for someone I don't know!

mysticporter · April 2010

aly&jj:
Sorry for the confusion, the shower gifts will go to the daughter in law, but the shower will be held for the grandmother who is our secretary. It really is very strange.

OK, now that's horse crap.

BlondiePhD · April 2010

I think it is inappropriate, but I wouldn't really speak up about it too much. I would get your team together and play a small role in the shower so you don't seem like the non-team player. I would organize a small gift that has a bit of meaning rather than getting a bigger item off the registry. Get the kids in each class to vote for a favorite book and then get a copy of that booked signed by the class.

ckettenb · April 2010

I'm not so much bothered by a grandma-baby shower... or even a baby shower for a girl not present (i.e. the grandma's DIL).. what bugs me is that, as far as I can tell, you don't really even KNOW this secretary lady, right? Why would you go to a shower for a stranger (or a semi stranger)?

14years · April 2010

aly&jj:

Sorry for the confusion, the shower gifts will go to the daughter in law, but the shower will be held for the grandmother who is our secretary. It really is very strange.

I've heard of a lot of questionable shower arrangements, but I do believe this is the tackiest thing I have ever heard of. It's basically a shower for someone you don't know who isn't even going to attend.

Since it's work related, though, I suppose I agree with the posters who say email your group, ask what they think. Chip in for a present and do something easy to contribute to the "shower."

But wow. Really.

ougrad1 · April 2010

BlondiePhD:

I think it is inappropriate, but I wouldn't really speak up about it too much. I would get your team together and play a small role in the shower so you don't seem like the non-team player. I would organize a small gift that has a bit of meaning rather than getting a bigger item off the registry. Get the kids in each class to vote for a favorite book and then get a copy of that booked signed by the class.

I love, love this idea!!!!!

jlthompson19 · April 2010

You know what? Since I'm not having any showers (b/c I requested they not be thrown), I'm going to see if someone will have one for my MIL. That way, she can get all the attention (which she would prefer anyway), I don't have to go, AND I get all the gifts. Win-win!

hbwj · April 2010

aly&jj:

Showers are not thrown for teachers, or the other 2 staff members who just had grandchildren arrive. Besides, it is 30 minutes before school starts, so it will just be to recieve gifts.

Wow! That makes it even worse.

Estrayer1 · April 2010

Sounds unprofessional coming from someone in a position of authority. You shouldn't be put in a position to feel obligated to contribute or to propose it to your team either. Isn't this similar to bringing in your daughter's Girl Scout Cookie order form and asking people to place orders "if they want to"? We aren't allowed to do anything like that where I work. I imagine the school superintendant wouldn't approve either.

ougrad1 · April 2010

hbwj:
aly&jj:

Showers are not thrown for teachers, or the other 2 staff members who just had grandchildren arrive. Besides, it is 30 minutes before school starts, so it will just be to recieve gifts.

Wow! That makes it even worse.

Yeah, I don't like it at all now. See what the other teams are doing. This is TACKY! This is taking your prep time away now.

If teachers don't get showers then, the office staff should not get different rules.

Let us know what you decide to do!

CourtneyR2N · April 2010

That is wrong on so many levels. Not only throwing a shower for the DIL of a lady that you work with that won't even be there. But asking you to bring food and a gift. This is just ridiculous all the way around.

The secretary really should decline the shower.

I like the idea of having the classes vote on their favorite children's books.

ariel06 · April 2010

I think it's somewhat tacky. Maybe every one on your team could contribute $2 and you could get a book or two for at grandma's house.

MrserinJ · April 2010

ougrad1:
BlondiePhD:

I think it is inappropriate, but I wouldn't really speak up about it too much. I would get your team together and play a small role in the shower so you don't seem like the non-team player. I would organize a small gift that has a bit of meaning rather than getting a bigger item off the registry. Get the kids in each class to vote for a favorite book and then get a copy of that booked signed by the class.

I love, love this idea!!!!!

I totally agree. That is weird and inappropriate! However, I wouldn't want to look like the stick in the mud, so I think I would do something like this. You don't need to go over the top at all. I would just do something very small and simple.

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