Just Venting - kind of long

MISSTLC12 · April 2010

I received a message today from a woman whom I've met a handful of times. I don't like her because of the dirty looks she shoots my way when I do see her. Anyway, this woman sends me a FB message that reads "I took the liberty of dropping off some maternity clothes for you at {mutual friend's} house. I hope all is well with you."

WTF?!

First of all, when did I become a F-ING charity case? I've never said more than 2 words to this chick for her to know anything about me. I'm sure I make more money on my own than both her and her husband combined. I can afford my own damn clothes you Witch! Besides, she hasn't even seen me since January, how would she know if #1 I'm even remotely close to the size she was? and #2 that I even need them at this point in time?

Secondly, since when is okay to EVER assume that anybody is even in need of anything? I'm sure I'd react differently if she said "Hey I have some maternity clothes. Would you like them?" But how dare you assume anything! Taking the "liberty" to do something for someone you don't know is just plain rude.

I told my husband who usually thinks I overreact in most situations and he was just as put off as I was. He plans on going over to our mutual friends house today and saying something about it and just asking the mutual friend to give the clothes back to the right owner. In the meantime, he told me not to respond to the message because it would basically be a repost of this message with more explatives.

It would be totally different if these clothes were coming from my best friend and she had said the exact same message because we know each other, but from some random chick? Please!

Thanks ladies. I'm done. Smile

skyejo · April 2010

Um, chill out. You sound psychotic. This lady was just probably trying to be nice. If you don't want the clothes, donate them. No need to throw a fit.

august282005 · April 2010

ITA with the PP - IMO loaning/lending/giving maternity clothing and baby items is just a common courtesy between pregnant ladies. I know that when I'm done having kids I'll be looking around for any pregnant person to give my stuff too, even if it is just a friend of a friend.

BeckyTheEngineer · April 2010

It does sound weird... but like she was trying to be nice. Which I'll admit is even weirder if she doesn't actually like you. Rather than putting the mutual friend in the middle, maybe you could just write her back saying "thanks for the offer, but I don't need anything at this time".

BlondiePhD · April 2010

I am sure she did it to be helpful not offensive. If you don't want the clothes, I'd just leave them where they are. I honestly don't see what the big deal is.

DLD102 · April 2010

See, I went the other way and thought that that was a really nice gesture.

MISSTLC12 · April 2010

Look hun, just like the woman I was referring to, you don't know me. Where do you get off telling people they sound psychotic?

618mom22boys · April 2010

Wow ungrateful much?

I bet you will be one b!tching when it comes down to your baby shower and you didn't get what you wanted.

DLD102 · April 2010

See, I went the other way and thought that that was a really nice gesture.

FWIW, you sound like a brat. I would tone it down a bit.

monkiem · April 2010

skyejo:
Um, chill out. You sound psychotic. This lady was just probably trying to be nice. If you don't want the clothes, donate them. No need to throw a fit.

I totally agree. Maybe this lady just looks at people she's checking out that way. And maybe it's just her personality to be a little stand-offish.

I would take them from your friend's house gracefully, and if you don't need them, donate them...somebody else DOES need them.

If I were you, and truly offended by it, though, I'd send this lady a PM on FB, and nicely say thank you but no thank you.

Who knows...maybe you'll LOVE the stuff she gave you and they don't make it anymore!

evadizzle · April 2010

I think it was nice of her to give to you. I would thank her for it, accept it and if you don't want to use it donate it to charity.

No need for dissing her act of kindness. Act of kindness come rare these days.

megmeister166 · April 2010

I have a friend that when I first met I thought she was giving me strange looks all the time...came to find out that is just how she is. I took it personally at first, but she really is just awkward meeting people. Maybe this was her way of breaking the ice...like "hey this is something I can connect with you on since I have been in your shoes". Unless she has come out and said "I don't like you" I wouldn't assume.

I would be excited if someone did that for me and send a thank you card. Who knows maybe you will become great friends.

Aloe0l · April 2010

Ignore the weirdness of it and enjoy your free clothes!

skyejo · April 2010

MISSTLC12:
Look hun, just like the woman I was referring to, you don't know me. Where do you get off telling people they sound psychotic?

When they post ungrateful rants about trivial things.

monkiem · April 2010

DLD102:

See, I went the other way and thought that that was a really nice gesture.

FWIW, you sound like a brat. I would tone it down a bit.

jpowell3 · April 2010

MISSTLC12:

I told my husband who usually thinks I overreact in most situations and he was just as put off as I was. Thanks ladies. I'm done.

You are overreacting, it was simply a nice guesture. If you want I'll pm you my address & you can ship them to me, I love hand outs. If you feel the need to respond I would send a note explaining perhaps they don't fit or that you appreciate that she went out of her way but that you don't need anything else at this time.

ToshaGirl · April 2010

Ungrateful. She's a "witch" for a nice gesture?

It's very common for woman to want to share maternity clothes. No one said you were a charity case.

Just return them with a "thank you for the thought, but I am good for maternity clothes"message and don't act like a brat.

mrs.mickulz · April 2010

I agree with the PPs on this one. Whether she was making a nice gesture, or just wanted to get the maternity clothes out of her house, it was thoughtful of her to think of you. If you don't want them, either pick them up and donate them to someone who can use them or ask your friend who has them to do the same. And as far as the response is concerned, either ignore it, or send a simple "thank you for thinking of me".

redheadgirl127 · April 2010

Geez! I wish someone would drop off a bag of clothes on my doorstep! You sound kinda nuts.

djfacemachine · April 2010

MISSTLC12:
Look hun, just like the woman I was referring to, you don't know me. Where do you get off telling people they sound psychotic?

Well you DO sound psychotic. You are totally freaking out about nothing as far as I can tell.

Kitty1225 · April 2010

I agree with most of the above. I wouldnt mind anyone dropping off clothes for me. Its not like I can wear them forever so hand me downs are great!

I would relax over it.

CAMbaby10 · April 2010

Maybe she was doing some spring cleaning, came across the maternity clothes, thought about donating them and then thought about how you might like them since you are pregnant? Maybe she didn't go about it in the right way but it is possible that she was just trying to be nice.

I know some people can be a bit pushy if they have something that they think you might be able to use but I don't think it is usually because they want to make you feel like a "charity case".

K.a.T.e · April 2010

slwhatley:
I'm so sorry that people want to do nice things for you! You poor thing!

this!!!

red daisy · April 2010

It seems like you may be overthinking this a bit. I make a pretty nice amount of money too but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't be THRILLED if someone offered me some free clothes especially since these are items that we don't get much use out of and are pretty expensive and I have more imporant things I would rather be spending that money on such as a crib and baby furniture.

I think your comments about you and making more money than her and her DH are really insensitve. Agree with PP that sharing maternity clothes is more of a bonding thing between pregnant women then trying to provide for a "charity case" as you so delicately put it.

mrs.kapow · April 2010

Not to mention, you're not so far along that you'd really have changed that much in size. And I doubt you have an entire maternity wardrobe with absolutely no need for something down the line.

I think you're being ridiculous and need to relax. Take a look at the clothes and thank the woman, for goodness sake.

Liz710 · April 2010

How insulting! She's clearly insinuating you're fat and needy, what a witch!

sare_bear · April 2010

What the fvck is wrong with you? Are you kidding? The least you could do is appreciate that she was trying to be nice, but instead you're acting like a childish little brat with this "I'm better than that" attitude!

So what would happen if all your belongings burned in a fire one day? Would you be too proud to accept anything then? Or would people even bother helping you because you obvously don't appreciate sh!t.

sweetcaroline10 · April 2010

You are probably going to freak out about having to donate her used, charity case clothes to a Goodwill now aren't you? How dare she try to help you out. What a biotch.

Shayna0182 · April 2010

You kind of sound like you have a major chip on your shoulder. I didn't get charity case at all. One of my old bosses gave me a big bag of maternity clothes, when I was pregnant with ds, and I didn't think charity case. I thought, wow, how nice of her to think of me. I'd just say thank you, and leave it at that.

PubStar09 · April 2010

Holy cow lady. Get down off your high horse. Not everyone is out to get you, even if you don't necessarily like the person in question.

I agree with PP about you sounding like a brat. And ungrateful.

You could at least tell this chick, "thanks for the offer, but I've got plenty of clothes already". Ya psycho.

618mom22boys · April 2010

sweetcaroline10:

You are probably going to freak out about having to donate her used, charity case clothes to a Goodwill now aren't you? How dare she try to help you out. What a biotch.

Are you kidding me? She is obviously to good to even go near a goodwill to donate or not.

drewiekc · April 2010

Wow, overreact much? It's a common courtesy among pregnant women to pass along maternity clothes. It's not insinuating a thing. And really, as much as you are freaking out over this, I have a sneaking suspicion that the "dirty looks" she shoots at you all the time are all in your head too.

MSC03 · April 2010

UUUMMM... Let's see.

You don't like her because of how she looks at you.

She does a nice gesture.

You flip out to the interwebs.

ONE of you sounds like a jerk and it's not her. Just sayin'.

krissers · April 2010

Yesterday one of the moms came to pick up her kids from my daycare and we were playing outside. I mentioned that I wished I had bought some maternity shorts the last time I was shopping, because it has gotten so hot all of a sudden. This morning she showed up with a couple of pairs, plus some comfy pants. I was thrilled.

I think you're getting way too upset about this. She was more than likely trying to be nice. If you don't want them, donate them, but as PPs have said this is a common thing between women. We aren't poor either and several people have already given me hand-me-down baby clothes. I love it, and am not the least bit offended.

monkiem · April 2010

slwhatley:
IN OTHER NEWS: my coworker just dropped off 3 huge tubs of maternity clothes for me! Yay!

Hey, I could use some! It's tough finding cute mat. clothes! Do you happen to live near Awesomeville, CT? LOL

ames71 · April 2010

OMG! Someone did something kind for you! Oh the horror!

Edit: This also kinda puts your other post in perspective. You know, the one where you were complaining that your friend was throwing a shower for you, but expected you to help pay for it? As tacky as that is, I see now why she went that route?it's obvious you would have thrown a fit if anyone dared assume you were a "charity case." Get over yourself.

Marmarbug · April 2010

If you don't want them can you send them to me?

sweetcaroline10 · April 2010

618mom22boys:
sweetcaroline10:

You are probably going to freak out about having to donate her used, charity case clothes to a Goodwill now aren't you? How dare she try to help you out. What a biotch.

Are you kidding me? She is obviously to good to even go near a goodwill to donate or not.

Tru dat. I wonder if she has minions to do her "dirty" work for her?

kategw · April 2010

Uhm, wow. I guess no good deed goes unpunished. I don't understand how you can possibly take offense to her gesture. I think you should rethink your position, you sound pretty obnoxious.