- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
2nd Trimester
MrsHollyMetesh
member
"What would you do?" Inviting an unwelcome person to the shower....
MrsHollyMetesh
member
So...someone was invited to my shower with my friends/family that I definitely would not have invited. We're not friends, we don't talk, and frankly, she's a gossip queen and I don't trust her. Anyway, she was invited because she's a friend of a friend who's helping plan my shower, and BASICALLY invited herself.
Ok I'm trying to not be a brat, especially (sorry to be materialistic) because we're thrilled to get a shower and be around our friends and family, but I don't even TALK to her. All I know is that she tried to befriend me on FB several times and I finally gave in.
She's already COMING, and I don't want to throw a fit, but its going to be so wierd with all my close friends & family....and then her. She's the type to take a ton of photos and act like she was a card-carrying best friend or something.
Bleh, it just irritates me that the person didn't ASK me first. Its still my shower, right?
/vent.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: "What would you do?" Inviting an unwelcome person to the shower....
DD1 born 5/24/10.
Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.
DD2 born 5/14/13.
Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.
Well a family member and my BFF are "planning" it, and they asked me if there was anyone in particular who I wanted to invite. I gave them both a general list, and told them to invite anyone I was missing (I live in Ohio but my shower in Illinois is for college friends, family--which are all in Illinois--and old church member friends). This person fits into NONE of those categories.
Someone felt sorry for her being "left out" and invited her
Yeah, I know, I guess I don't have a choice. Its not going to ruin my shower, but it WILL be annoying! She doesn't know anyone there anyone, except the person who felt sorry for her and invited her. So...I'll feel pressured to introduce her to people so she doesn't feel left out.
I just figured this would be a celebration for DH, LO, and I, not a test of my social skills!
Big mistake. You can't uninvite her now.
DD1 born 5/24/10.
Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.
DD2 born 5/14/13.
Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.
Not necessarily. I have two showers being thrown for me. One shower I was asked to develop a guest list and I did. With the other one, I have no idea who is coming. It depends on how your hosts handle it.
I would just ignore her as well- don't give someone like that added attention.
WHOAAAAAA, you totally beat my dilema! Holy crap thats like a soap opera!
The nerve of that girl?!
Let me clarify really quick--
-When I told my friend "invite whoever I missed", I meant people that she knew I would want there (from those groups: I have a tight-knit group of friends from college, a very close circle of old church friends & their mothers, and family--for DH and me--in the area). This person is a recent "friend" from the past year, who I don't live near, and who's only connection to me is this one mutual friend. Never in a million years would I think she would be invited.
-I definitely can't uninvite her because the friend who invited her said, "She's been looking forward to the shower ever since I invited her....last week". So stomping my foot and saying, "No fair! Its my day!" would be SO rude. Especially since she's bringing a gift, etc. I explained this to my friend and she sort of shrugged it off.
I guess I don't know what I'm asking! Maybe how to handle it? I could totally ignore her but feel like a big b*%$& on what's supposed to be a happy day, but her presence there makes me feel so uncomfortable....
I'm just stuck! Pff.
My high school best friend whom I just reconnected on facebook after 15 years invited herself to my shower. I was fortunate enough to back out of it, saying I wasn't hosting it and I thought that it was just immediate family.
I too was annoyed and can understand where you are coming from. I wouldn't uninvite her, just secretly pray she gets you something really nice. I also wouldn't spend a lot of time oohing and aahiing and catching up with her, if she invited her self and doesn't know people then oh well. As to the other poster, HOLY CHRISTMAS! maybe she'll get you something fabulous thinking she's impressing your DH.
I know, right!!! What is funny to me, is that we are NOT girls...I am 30 and she is 40 (DH is 37). While we don't work in the same office, we are very close to being "co-workers" - I see and correspond with her 3+ times per week for work purposes, DH sees/corresponds with her for work at least 1 x month and her boss is a friend of myself and DH. Such a weird scenario!
Yea that really sucks. I would just go with it though. I wouldn't want to make it a big deal by uninviting her.
My SIL had some girl show up at her bachelorette party that she didn't like AT ALL. I think the girl had always had a crush on my SIL's husband/groom-at-the-time. She just said Hi to her then that was pretty much the only interaction she had with her.
Yup this looks like my best bet! I guess I'm looking a little LESS forward to it, which makes me mad, because I've been counting down the days to go home and see old friends & family! Ohhh wells.
About your SIL--YEESH, what is it about crushing on married/taken men?! Seriously! Find one unattached and go live your life! Weird!
Don't you HATE when you're linked to someone like that?! Its like a sick joke! Your DH is obviously hip to the situation and really, the "girl/woman" is only torturing herself. Seriously, tell her to get a life and enjoy her own man!
Really? Cuz I have no idea who's coming the one my MIL is throwing me. She didn't ask me, and hasn't told me. So, SURPRISE! I guess.
To the OP, just do your best to ignore the pest. You'll be all wrapped up in talking to other people, so you'll probably be ok.
Your friend should have known better, i would ask her why she felt she had to invite this girl your not friends with
Perfect. Just so long as I'm off the hook!
Awesome! And fathomable...she lives 2.5 HOURS from where the party is being hosted.
Seriously, all that gas money for someone she barely knows? How does she not GET that that's a little off?!
I think once you get there you'll forget all about her because you'll be so overwhelmed with seeing all your friends and family that you haven't seen in a long time. GL and I hope you get some cute stuff!
Oh and about those women who like married/taken men: I have NO idea what goes through their mind. And I definitely don't know why one of them would want to go to the bachelorette party of the woman who is about to marry that man. Weirdos.
Depends... I guess there is no right and wrong way to do it! Mine is a surprise (I know my mom and sister's are planning it) and I didn't make any sort of a list!
Definitely don't let this girl affect your mood or interfere with your special day! Try to be positive and assume it won't be a big deal.
In a way, I can relate. A really good friend of mine randomly invited two of her gay guy friends to my bridal shower {who I had never met, mind you.} She didn't tell/ask my maid of honor- just showed up with these two guys, like "Heyyyy, we're here!" And she didn't bring a gift or anything- just two extra people, trip out! They drank more than their share of mojitos, ate food, and then took off. Oh, and they complained about how I live in "BFE" and how long it took them to get to my house {which couldn't have been more than 20 minutes!} I was in AWE. Some people have ZERO tact.
Totally different from your situation though, your day will be great! Haha.
Just, what everyone else already said: You hopefully won't notice her much there!
And hey, maybe she'll buy a really expensive gift?
http://balletandbabies.blogspot.com
I know a few people that want to come to my shower that I truly dont want there because they are rude or make me uncomfortable and such. My mother is hosting my shower and anyone that wanted to come that we didnt feel comfortable having there we told it was a pay per person place and she couldnt afford to have the extra guests.
Would using that excuse work for your situation?