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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
Working moms- I have a question
Right now I am SAH but I am looking for a job. Everyone tells me I'm going to regret getting a job even though I need one, but in a way I feel like it will be a break for me.
Do you find it really difficult to work and take care of LO? Or do you find it nice to get away for a bit?
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Re: Working moms- I have a question
It was only difficult when FI and I were going through a phase where he wasn't helping and I wasn't asking.
He and I both got into a routine around 4 months (after 3 weeks back at work) and it's actually really easy now as far as "duties" go. The difficult part is getting home almost every night to find her already asleep so she doesn't see me until the next morning. I'm changing that now and making sure I'm home before 7:30 so that I can put her to bed at least 3 times a week.
I know this probably isn't very helpful but my answer is both. Very strongly both. I miss DS a lot and can't wait to get out of work but I also really enjoy being with other adults, having lunch on my own every day and pulling in my own income.
Oh and ETA: I am glad I am working. Being a SAHM is not at all appealing to me. I like this balance.
I think it's different for everyone.
For me, itt's too hard being a working mom so today is my last day. I was barely getting to spend any time with DS. Our evenings involved getting ready for the next day and our weekends involved all of the errands that we couldn't get done during the week, so neither DH nor I had much time to actually just spend with DS.
Because I felt like I wasn't getting to spend any time with DS, I never really got to have any me time either. Me time meant giving up some of my precious DS time.
Now that I'm going to be home with him all day I won't feel guilty taking some time for myself.
Honestly? I get the best of both worlds with my working mom schedule.
I'm not the type of mom to stay at home. I'm also not the type of mom to work full time. So, I work Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. It is great.
I like getting my coffee, going to work, being with my co-workers, and accomplishing projects. I love that DD loves her daycare, and has so much fun there. It's important to me that she's around other kids, as she's an only child.
On the flip side, I love waking up with DD, staying in our PJs for the morning and playing all day, just the two of us. Tuesdays and Thursdays we'll go to the park, or go grocery shopping... just kind of let the day flow.
In the beginning, when I went back to work at 12 weeks PP, it was really hard. I'm lucky to have a really fun, enjoyable job, and a very easy to transition baby. I think once I got organized (i.e. packing bottles and lunches up at night instead of first thing in the morning, setting out our clothes the night before), it started going much more smoothly.
I don't so much see work as a "break," and I don't see being at home with my DD as a "break;" they both have different demands but now I feel balanced.
I really have the best of both worlds. I work 24 hours in the office (3 days) and 8 hours at home. If baby is sick or anything those hours can vary. I work from 6:30 am to 2:30 pm so I am home really early. My DD stays with my DH's aunt. Her kids are in high school so Tessa gets 100% of her attention. When DH is off (he only works 14 days a month) he has her.
I realized on maternity leave that I was not made to be a stay at home mom. I like to get out of the house. I feel like I am a better mommy when I come home. But, there are some things that suck. I hate getting up and leaving her in the morning. She is always so happy! I hate coming home and having to do more work. I feel like I work non stop at home because I can usually only work about 1.5 to 2 hours at a time if DH isn't home to watch DD. The housework gets put aside a lot but oh well!
I think if you are struggling with going back, just try to find a part-time job. It really does feel good to get out of the house without the baby sometimes!
I'm glad you all mostly feel the same way. I love DS and love spending time with him, but somedays I just want to drop him off at his grandparent's so I can get away. Even small trips to the grocery store by myself feels good.
I'm sure I would much rather work part time if possible, but I really look forward to getting away a few hours a day. I was starting to feel really guilty for feeling this way and now I feel so much better knowing that I'm not alone!
I honestly would like to stay at home, I work 9 hours a day on week days and have weekends off, I really dont feel like I have the time to come home, cook a healthy dinner, do dishes, laundry, bathe 3 kids, get them ready for bed, and have any time for myself, my husband or the kids. But maybe if I were home all the time I would feel differently, maybe I would just go for something part time in the evenings a couple days a week if I could.
this. work is my peaceful place (most of the time)
This. It is a balance that I have not mastered yet. I always feel like I am just running around throughout the week.
I think I have the best of both worlds. I work 6-10am Mondays and 6am-3pm Tuesday-Friday. I usually do not see DS in the mornings but I get home by 330 and we have time together til he goes to bed at 630. We also have almost all day Mondays. It's perfect. I could never SAH full time or work crazy, long hours so I'm happy that my job is flexible enough that I can get in early and get done early! I do miss DS a lot but I'm a better mom when I am able to get away for awhile.
This is also why I am dying to get a job. I have no friends. My one friend from college came to visit me a few weeks ago and I had nothing to say to her. I just can't relate to her. I am also never really out so when I do meet someone I have nothing to talk about. Sure I have DS to talk about but not everyone wants to hear about your kids all-the-time.
I was not cut out to be a SAHM. When I went back to work (at a mere 6 weeks pp) I felt relief. I drank my coffee in silence while driving to work. I wore clothes that didn't have throw-up on them, and I went into my office where I dictated my schedule for the day and ate lunch with two hands.
At this age, I really do miss LO, particularly on Mondays. But I still love my job. I'm blessed to work at home most days and only work about 25 hours a week, though.
This.
both. there are days i can't stand to be away from him. there are days i'm so thankful to go to work and get away. there are days i feel like there's no way i can work and then deal with a baby all night.
it's a grass is greener situation.
This exactly
I'm so happy to read these responses. I just went on an interview yesterday morning and I was shocked at how excited I was at the prospect of going back to work. I miss getting dressed up in a suit and feeling like a powerful business woman.
I'm afraid that I'll miss hanging out with my little man all day, but it's good to see that there are so many women that love working, too.
For me, it's both.
The break is fantastic, I won't lie. I love being able to have a lunch, and you know, actually TASTE the food. Right now is the off season, so I can pretty much surf the web all day. I can't do that at home. I can snack, run errands sometimes. Plus, as hard as it is, it's nice to look nice. I usually stay in PJs all day if I don't go to work. I love my job and I went to school for 6 years to get where I am.
In other ways, it sucks. I'm tired 24/7. I feel like all I do is work. When the off season is over, I'll be working here, then going to "work" at home. Before I realize it, it's 9:00 and time to go to bed, and I've had no time just to play with DD. It's just making bottles, cleaning, taking a shower, BFing, etc. to prepare for the next day.
Ideally, it would be perfect to have a part-time job. That way, as soon as I get bored with one or the other, it's time to switch.
I have done both. With my first, I stayed home until he was just about to turn a year. Going back was hard but it was the best thing I think for me and him. I needed time away and now I do find things I do with him and now my second much more enjoyable. I have a 2 1/2 year old and an 8 month old and I think I do more with them now because the time is more precious to me and I can actually enjoy it. When I was home it was just part of my daily "job" at home and it wasn't as enjoyable. Plus I never felt I could get anything at home done when I was there as my son was more clingy then. Once he started going to daycare and staying with others, he wasn't as clingy with me and I could get more done. My second has always stayed with sitters, usually my mother, and he isn't clingy at all.
I honestly don't feel it takes time away from them in the least. I still do every activity with them for every holiday from egg hunts, to valentine cookies and pancakes on valentine day, to christmas cookies, gingerbread houses, etc at Christmas. I prefer to work to give them all the other things too like swimming lessons, gymboree type programs, etc. That is hard to do when you don't have both working in alot of cases. Things are just too pricey anymore.
Good luck.
At first I hated to leave my son, but it is a nice break from being a mommy. I work full time, take care of a home, take care of my husband and son, but I love it. I work 4 10 hour days so I can have one day off during the week to hang out with my little guy.
Working makes me a better person, a better wife, and a better mother. I would go bananas if I stayed home. Seriously.