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2nd Trimester
mopsie
member
Why can't people stick to the registry?
mopsie
member
I was talking to a co-worker today (she's insisting on helping my sister throw my baby shower, even though I don't know her THAT well) and I mentioned that I've been working on my registry. She said "oh, I NEVER follow the registry... I just buy stuff I like". I'm grateful (and a bit surprised) that she's been buying stuff for LO for the past couple months, but it irks me that she'd buy something SHE likes for my baby instead of something I like/need. The same thing happened with my wedding registry - we got a ton of crap from people who thought they knew the "perfect gift" which turned out to be an ugly, useless piece of ceramic. Why can't people just buy stuff they know I'll need or use?
Oh, and it's not like she's ever had a kid before, either, and knows what's really useful to a new mom. She's an only child and is unmarried, so this is the first baby she's been "close" to...
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Re: Why can't people stick to the registry?
Because some people enjoy shopping for a gift that they feel is thoughtful and creative. Not everyone likes being "told" what to buy.
Is it annoying? Sure. But, their hearts are in the right places most of the time.
I always buy off a registry, but I will also try and find something else off of the registry as well. I like putting time and effort into shopping for a gift.
Bloggin' It
I used to feel like that, UNTIL I got married and am now having a baby. I think some people (maybe not your coworker) just don't realize how overwhelmed newlyweds and new parents can get with so many gifts-- where to store them all, what to do with them, having to return duplicates, etc... Now that I understand, I always stick to the registry!
Also, being Team Green I think will help with not being inundated with tons of pink or blue clothes. I'm hoping people will be stumped as to what to get and just go to the registry!
That happened for our wedding registry too. Though we were grateful people bought us gifts we ended up returning them for things we truly needed (pots, pans, silverware)
People are doing the same for Brylee's registry, calling our needed items useless (i.e. PnP, diapers, bottles, binkies, lotions, ect) Our plan is to return things we don't like/need and get what we do need.
I see this and get it, but I would prefer nothing at all most of the time. I always end up taking almost everything back because people think they know me. My parents are the worst at this too.
From going through the whole registering process with my wedding, I will ALWAYS follow a registry now, unless I know it something that they will get use out of...I really wanted and needed those items on my registry, but some might think some will go overboard with it.
No one NEEDS to buy your baby a gift. A registry is merely a list of suggestions you're sharing with anyone who WANTS to give you a gift. And it's a list of things you think you're going to need. To be honest, there were many things I put on our registry(that I thought were neccesities) with DD that I absolutely ended up having no use for. Also, some of my favorite gifts were things that people chose on their own and were extremely thoughtful.
Be open to what people want to give you and be grateful for anything that people give your baby.
DD1 born 5/24/10.
Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.
DD2 born 5/14/13.
Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.
I don't belong on this board at all, but...
I got flamed to high heaven for posting something like this when I was pregnant, but I stand by it. Everyone always says "oh, you should just be happy that your LO gets any gifts" or "no one is required to give a gift" or something else along the lines of I'm selfish and rude for thinking this way. Too bad! I think the people are selfish for buying what they want and not something that will actually be used. I can't stand it when people get high and mighty about not picking a gift from a registry. If I were buying a gift for someone it would for sure include something off the registry. If I found something else I *think* they might like, I'll add it to the registry gift. Then, everyone is happy!
Wow...I haven't ever felt like that. I feel like gift giving is a personal thing and people shouldn't feel "obligated" to get you something from a designated list. Like the above poster mentioned...I think of the registery as a guide.
When I got married, some of the gifts I liked the most were the ones that didn't come off of my registery. For instance, I got some fabulous place mats from a friend that had picked them up while on vacation in Mexico...they had much more character than the ones I had picked out from Crate and Barrel.
After getting married, I have rarely given someone something that was from their registery. It feels impersonal and I can't always find something a like -- a toaster will get tossed out in a few yrs, I want to give something that lasts.
IMO, let people give you the gifts they want to give you.
This. I shop off the registry 99% of the time, but if all that's left on a wedding registry are things outside my budget or things that are stupid I pick something else. That's what gift receipts are for. It's the thought that counts. I mean they dno't HAVE to buy you a gift at all.
Wow, someone who is buying you a gift is selfish & rude if they don't get you exactly what you want
DD1 born 5/24/10.
Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.
DD2 born 5/14/13.
Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.
And I wonder why you got flamed.
MWoodside: My sentiments exactly.....
I think they should at least look at the registery to make sure they're not getting you something you already have, even if it's not the same kind. I got 5, yes FIVE, crock pots for wedding gifts. And only one of them was the one I registered for. So I had 4 crock pots to take back (that's not all though). Even if you don't buy off the registery, at least look to get an idea of what needs to be bought so your present isn't the one being taken back.
I feel the same way, and I don't think I'm an ungrateful brat for it. I know that no one has to buy me a gift and I'm fine with that. I truly feel bad if people spend money on things that I will never use and that is the reason I want people to buy from the registry. I also don't like having anything in my house that I don't 100% need because I don't have a lot of space, so I purposely left "fluff" items off my registry...but I have a feeling I'll wind up with a little plastic bathtub anyway.
Bar tab = $156,000, Bus to Foxwoods = $0, Puking in the Stanley Cup = Priceless
Wow....I guess I know I shouldn't get YOU a gift...I would't want to be rude or selfish.
This! The other person is giving you the gift, they get to decide what to get you.
I am seriously appalled. What is wrong with you two?! This is insane.
DD1 born 5/24/10.
Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.
DD2 born 5/14/13.
Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.
I fit into this category. I usually look at the registry, but often times I end up just getting an outfit or something that I see that's really adorable.
I think it's rude to be annoyed by people not getting you a gift from a list that you gave them. I mean really think about this. In a sense, a registry is basically you handing your friends and family a list that says what is "approved" or "needed" by you. HOW DARE they not get you what is on your pre-approved list!! LOL!
People like to buy"cute" baby things. Diaper genies and diaper cream are just not as fun to buy. Some of the best gifts I got were not on my list, such as a bunch of little stuff like gas drops and tylonol.
I try to give something off the list and something that they may have forgotten that I found really useful. And sometime I make some cute burp clothes too.
Because I would rather shop around for something special and unique than the digital thermometer or something boring that is registered for. I know somethings are needed, but the gifts I most appreciate are the ones that have the most thought put into them.
Personally I will look at registries to get the styles/colors/etc that people are looking for and try to get soemthing fun that will go with that
LOL- well, I guess you wouldn't want to invite me to a baby shower! I always give the same gift, a very nice book of fairy tales, the same one I had as a child, and I put a dedication in it. It's not inexpensive, it's really a very nice gift. And I can't imagine that anyone thinks that they don't need or want books, and if they do feel that way well then I'm appalled! (and we probably aren't friends anyway because I can't imagine my friends not wanting books for their children). I also usually add a small stuffed animal, fluff I'm sure but you never know, it could be the one LO absolutely can't live without.
But, to each their own I guess, feel free to exchange.
How is not wanting people to waste money insane? If someone buys you something you will never use, do you just let it sit around and collect dust? I will ALWAYS send a nice thank you note for anything received, and I would never demand IRL that stuff be bought from my registry. This is just me being honest with other people in the same situation about how I feel. There must be some things you think/feel that you keep to yourself in person but would like a safe place to vent/discuss. I know a lot of us say "I want to smack my annoying co-worker" or something similar...but of course we don't actually do it. This is the same thing. Do I wish people would buy me gifts I actually want? YES! Would I actually pitch a fit about it IRL? No way!!! I very much doubt that you don't have "flameworthy" thoughts cross your mind every now and then. Have fun, share, and I promise I won't call you insane
Bar tab = $156,000, Bus to Foxwoods = $0, Puking in the Stanley Cup = Priceless
Be appalled. I'm sure Emily Post is too. I could care less. But here's the deal. At my shower, my DH's relatives bought me whatever they wanted. Fine, good for them. It all got donated to charity because I already had it, or it was something I DID NOT NEED AT ALL. Not one of them gave a gift receipt. If they had taken the time to even consider what was needed BY LOOKING AT THE REGISTRY, their money would not have been wasted. It is a waste of money, and yes, I thought it was rude that they did not take into consideration what I needed and instead bought whatever THEY wanted. When I give a gift, it's not about me at all. It's not about what I *THINK* a person might want. I give what they need. And like I said, if I do find a cute little outfit, I'll add it to the registry gift so I can put my own spin on it. But to me what is most important is giving what the person needs. If that makes me a horrible spoiled brat, then so be it.
Bar tab = $156,000, Bus to Foxwoods = $0, Puking in the Stanley Cup = Priceless
If I am going to a party and there is a registry I will buy off of it because obviously if the person has a registry then there are specific things they want/need. That being said I will add a book, album, outfit to my gift so it is a bit creative with a gift reciept.
REGISTRIES don't bother me (at least they are honest enough to say this is what I need or want)... the people who write "monetary gifts will be appreciated" bother me! Hello money grabbing.... I'm just saying!
I often wonder the same question, but obviously people buy (or don't buy) whatever they want.
no one owes anyone a gift and obviously I am grateful for anything, but when I buy a gift I want to get something the other person wants. Not something I want. So I don't "get" not buying from a registry, but I guess this makes sense to others:)
So you would rather be told to "gift" money? I don't get that... How is that better then a registry? At least I know the registry gift is something the person will use for the baby... they could be doing whatever the heck they want with the money. Sorry I'm not about to fund that person's dinner and a date night.
I wouldn't do either actually, I was joking. But at least if you are going to get mad when people dont buy you gifts you've already picked out you can save them the hassle of going to the store and having to pick it up for you.
LOL. When I read this post and some of the "supporting" responses, all I can think of is Veruca Salt.
"But I want an Oompa Loompa NOW!!!"
Try to acquire some grace before you become mothers. Being angry over non-registry gifts is the height of immaturity.
You are 100% financially responsible for your child's necessities. And if someone would rather get a cute little outfit to for others to gush over at the shower rather than some diaper genie refills or a rectal thermometer that you registered for, so be it. Buy them your self.