Why can't people stick to the registry?

Bride2bMO

stephsteph77:

MWoodside:

Dreamsicle23:

stephsteph77:

I don't belong on this board at all, but...

I got flamed to high heaven for posting something like this when I was pregnant, but I stand by it.  Everyone always says "oh, you should just be happy that your LO gets any gifts" or "no one is required to give a gift" or something else along the lines of I'm selfish and rude for thinking this way.  Too bad!  I think the people are selfish for buying what they want and not something that will actually be used.  I can't stand it when people get high and mighty about not picking a gift from a registry.  If I were buying a gift for someone it would for sure include something off the registry.  If I found something else I *think* they might like, I'll add it to the registry gift.  Then, everyone is happy!   

I feel the same way, and I don't think I'm an ungrateful brat for it.  I know that no one has to buy me a gift and I'm fine with that.  I truly feel bad if people spend money on things that I will never use and that is the reason I want people to buy from the registry.  I also don't like having anything in my house that I don't 100% need because I don't have a lot of space, so I purposely left "fluff" items off my registry...but I have a feeling I'll wind up with a little plastic bathtub anyway. 

I am seriously appalled.  What is wrong with you two?!  This is insane.

Be appalled.  I'm sure Emily Post is too.  I could care less.  But here's the deal.  At my shower, my DH's relatives bought me whatever they wanted.  Fine, good for them.  It all got donated to charity because I already had it, or it was something I DID NOT NEED AT ALL.  Not one of them gave a gift receipt.  If they had taken the time to even consider what was needed BY LOOKING AT THE REGISTRY, their money would not have been wasted.  It is a waste of money, and yes, I thought it was rude that they did not take into consideration what I needed and instead bought whatever THEY wanted.  When I give a gift, it's not about me at all.  It's not about what I *THINK* a person might want.  I give what they need.  And like I said, if I do find a cute little outfit, I'll add it to the registry gift so I can put my own spin on it.  But to me what is most important is giving what the person needs.  If that makes me a horrible spoiled brat, then so be it.

Um, yeah...it makes you a spoiled brat. Also, here's a newsflash, baby registries are a rather recent social convention that still haven't become widely accepted as "the norm." Wedding registries have a much longer history (originally out of necessity to let the guests purchase the appropriate pattern of china, silver, crystal, etc.) 

So if your DH's relatives are of a generation or two older, this is most certainly not the way it was when they had babies.

God, are you going to register for your child's birthdays, too? I can promise you you'll get things you don't want. Just donate them and be glad to know an impoverished child will cherish them. Who gives a sh_t what you "need" for your child? Why is that any one else's problem? Don't reproduce until you can 100% fund that choice. 

And for the record - I am an avid registry shopper. But the foot stomping brattiness of this thread is just too much. 

Maria Agnesa

JenMich:

Maria Agnesa:

JenMich:

I hate registries, I never buy from them. If you are so set on a registry maybe you can tell people to give you cash so they dont have to waste their time going to the store to buy something you've already picked out.

So you would rather be told to "gift" money?  I don't get that... How is that better then a registry?  At least I know the registry gift is something the person will use for the baby... they could be doing whatever the heck they want with the money.  Sorry I'm not about to fund that person's dinner and a date night.

I wouldn't do either actually, I was joking. But at least if you are going to get mad when people dont buy you gifts you've already picked out you can save them the hassle of going to the store and having to pick it up for you.

Ya... I agree with not getting mad about not getting what you want...A registry is a guide line, when you create one you should understand that....Like I said I usually buy from them so at least I know I am getting them something they want, but I'll add on a book, album or outfit (just for fun!)

I thought your money comment was real.... sorry.... I really hate the monetary gift thing, so I jumped on it! LOL  Sorry! 

hst

I am a knitter, I like to knit for babies, which wouldn't be on the registry.  People seem to enjoy it...

Maybe I am wrong?

 I really always considered a registry a suggestion, not a "rule". 

stephsteph77

Bride2bMO:

stephsteph77:

MWoodside:

Dreamsicle23:

stephsteph77:

I don't belong on this board at all, but...

I got flamed to high heaven for posting something like this when I was pregnant, but I stand by it.  Everyone always says "oh, you should just be happy that your LO gets any gifts" or "no one is required to give a gift" or something else along the lines of I'm selfish and rude for thinking this way.  Too bad!  I think the people are selfish for buying what they want and not something that will actually be used.  I can't stand it when people get high and mighty about not picking a gift from a registry.  If I were buying a gift for someone it would for sure include something off the registry.  If I found something else I *think* they might like, I'll add it to the registry gift.  Then, everyone is happy!   

I feel the same way, and I don't think I'm an ungrateful brat for it.  I know that no one has to buy me a gift and I'm fine with that.  I truly feel bad if people spend money on things that I will never use and that is the reason I want people to buy from the registry.  I also don't like having anything in my house that I don't 100% need because I don't have a lot of space, so I purposely left "fluff" items off my registry...but I have a feeling I'll wind up with a little plastic bathtub anyway. 

I am seriously appalled.  What is wrong with you two?!  This is insane.

Be appalled.  I'm sure Emily Post is too.  I could care less.  But here's the deal.  At my shower, my DH's relatives bought me whatever they wanted.  Fine, good for them.  It all got donated to charity because I already had it, or it was something I DID NOT NEED AT ALL.  Not one of them gave a gift receipt.  If they had taken the time to even consider what was needed BY LOOKING AT THE REGISTRY, their money would not have been wasted.  It is a waste of money, and yes, I thought it was rude that they did not take into consideration what I needed and instead bought whatever THEY wanted.  When I give a gift, it's not about me at all.  It's not about what I *THINK* a person might want.  I give what they need.  And like I said, if I do find a cute little outfit, I'll add it to the registry gift so I can put my own spin on it.  But to me what is most important is giving what the person needs.  If that makes me a horrible spoiled brat, then so be it.

Um, yeah...it makes you a spoiled brat. Also, here's a newsflash, baby registries are a rather recent social convention that still haven't become widely accepted as "the norm." Wedding registries have a much longer history (originally out of necessity to let the guests purchase the appropriate pattern of china, silver, crystal, etc.) 

So if your DH's relatives are of a generation or two older, this is most certainly not the way it was when they had babies.

God, are you going to register for your child's birthdays, too? I can promise you you'll get things you don't want. Just donate them and be glad to know an impoverished child will cherish them. Who gives a sh_t what you "need" for your child? Why is that any one else's problem? Don't reproduce until you can 100% fund that choice. 

And for the record - I am an avid registry shopper. But the foot stomping brattiness of this thread is just too much. 

Sorry to burst your bubble, I've already reporduced.  And yes, I can afford it.  And no, DH's relatives are not from an older generation.  Most that were there were in their 20's.  Well within the "registry generation".  For the record all received thank-you notes, and I didn't complain one bit - until I got home and shared my deepest, darkest thoughts with the Nest.  And for the questions "Who gives a sh_t about what you need for your child?" - well, I think that's exactly my whole point.  It seems that if you gave a sh_t you would look at the registry.  If you don't give a sh_t, well then doesn't that make you a touch rude?  If you don't give a sh_t, well... to be perfectly hoest I don't even know why I would want someone around who didn't give a sh_t. 

To each their own. 

Oh, and birthday parties are different.  Registries are not the norm.  Whatever DD got for her birthday, Christmas, or any other holiday was fine by me.  If it was a duplicate, it was donated. 

slc2b

This is why I am not inviting everyone I have ever met to my shower, only a small group of close friends and family who know me well.  If they buy that isn't on the registry I have no problem with that, as I am sure I will remember who got what for my little girl and it will be special, not just some junk from some random person I kinda know.

tyke29

 I will be grateful for any gift but...

I would REALLY like it if most people would buy stuff from the list or items that are useful.  We do not need clothing - a friend gave us 100s of items that are in great to new condition.  Item that moms loved and could not live without would be fine too, but in this day and age a gift receipt is a must when I give any gift.  I don't want anyone not being able to return and donating my gift - thus they did not get anything. 

A perfect example of talking to a "to be" mom:  I heard a co-worker talking today about her husband making me a toy chest. (She has no idea I heard her.)  Which is a "wonderful" gift and I am sure I will love it.  Her husband does great work.  One big problem right now - no room for it.  We got a crib that matched my DH's furiture so that we would not have to place stuff in storage.  We even have a closet unit to install.