Do you plan to spank?

cutelilfishstick · February 2010

My best friend has a baby that is only 2 months old and last night her husband made a comment that he couldn't wait until he could spank him for doing naughty stuff. Naturally it sparked the discipline conversation between DH and I on our way home. So, just curious what you *plan* to do... do you think you'll spank your children (obviously when it is age appropriate)

Fish4Fun · February 2010

Anyone in the mood for some hot-buttered popcorn?

TrumpetBride · February 2010

1. The fact that her DH is practically chomping at the bit to hit his child is disturbing at best.

2. No, we won't be.

katypresson · February 2010

I doubt I will. But I do think DH will if he did something REALLY bad and other means of discipline didn't work first.

Soon2BMrsN · February 2010

No.

aniceucchik · February 2010

i dont plan on it, but im sure i will smack his hands now and then...i also would not judge anyone else who would spank...as long as you are not abusing your child, its none of my business how you chose to discipline.

rosesandpeonies · February 2010

No we will not be.

MrsJMB · February 2010

No. I wasn't spanked. DH was. We both turned out fine. I don't want people to hit me when I screw up something, so why would I want to hit my child?

krstokes · February 2010

TrumpetBride:
1. The fact that her DH is practically chomping at the bit to hit his child is disturbing at best.

2. No, we won't be.

Yes

Heffalump · February 2010

No.

kklickka · February 2010

I'm not opposed to swatting DS on the butt to get his attention if he's doing something that could be dangerous (for instance, my cousin's daughter is 2 and likes to chew on power cords), but I definitely don't plan on sitting down and doing a formal "spanking" like my parents did when I was little.

JoannaJes · February 2010

I try not to judge those whose spank. I think that other forms of discipline are more complicated and time-consuming, and I don't think every parent has those resources. We are not planning on spanking.

The odd part is that this father is looking forward to spanking his child. Even among parents that do spank, I don't think it should provide enjoyment on behalf of the parent. It sounds like this father is looking forward to exerting control over this child, in the form of punishment.

jamie.renee · February 2010

When I had my oldest I always said I would never spank. She was a dream child and we rarely have issues with her even still at almost 8. My second child was totally different. As a last resort we did spank and have once with my oldest as well. We do not do it with everything but as a last resort then yes, we have done it. I will NEVER use an object or even do it that hard.

ETA: like someone else said, there is no sit down doing a full out spanking session, just a swat on the butt, not done multiple times.

ItchinOvaries · February 2010

I will not spank. Instead, I will let her get licked by kittens.

Symharmony · February 2010

TrumpetBride:
1. The fact that her DH is practically chomping at the bit to hit his child is disturbing at best.

2. No, we won't be.

This exactly! I don't agree with spanking, and I'll not be doing that to either one of my children. I think there are better ways to communicate to your children when you don't like something. I personally think hitting your children is a cop out. Besides the definition of discipline is to teach, and I don't want my children to think that the only way to solve problems and to get your point across to other people is by hitting them.

t&dm · February 2010

Personally, I do not believe in spanking. DD#1 is 8 and has only been spanked one time. She was four years old when she was spanked. She kept hiding from us and once DH was frantically looking for her, she kept hiding and would actually sneak to other spots to avoid him.

He ran down the street yelling for her and all over the house, he was totally freaked! She thought it was funny. He spanked her and she never did it again...now, I wasn't there and would have handled it differently but, whatever...it worked.

I still don't believe in spanking, especially when a child hits or bites. Hitting a child while simultaneously saying not to hit, just doesn't make sense. What a confusing thing to do.

Having a child fear their parents just doesn't seem right to me. When you hit a child that is supposed to be protected and loved by you, what kind of message are you sending?

Mrs.Kent · February 2010

JoannaJes:

I try not to judge those whose spank. I think that other forms of discipline are more complicated and time-consuming, and I don't think every parent has those resources. We are not planning on spanking.

The odd part is that this father is looking forward to spanking his child. Even among parents that do spank, I don't think it should provide enjoyment on behalf of the parent. It sounds like this father is looking forward to exerting control over this child, in the form of punishment.

Yes ITA

Shlei · February 2010

Her DH sounds like a douche and no we will not be spanking.

Aliliv · February 2010

Seeing as there are much more effective, albiet more time consuming, ways to discipline - we don't. We've tried in the past a couple of times, much to my embarrassment, but it did absolutely nothing but teach her that hitting was the way to deal with frustrations or to get her way with other kids. Spanking teaches absolutely nothing good for the child. Other forms of discipline can teach life long skills to a child. I was one of those people who thought (based on witnessing other children in action) that some kids "needed" this more forceful form of discipline - well, the fact of the matter is that no child needs to be spank - they need consistency above all else and a form of discipline that teaches them how to behave appropriately. Once we started using time-outs effectively, Olivia responded wonderfully. I am a firm believer that there is NEVER a reason to spank.

EmmSquared · February 2010

i think your friend's H needs some professional help. that's disgusting.

and no, we don't plan to spank. and why do people "plan" to hit their kids?!?!?! i don't get it!

tmp-493670500007520 · February 2010

TrumpetBride:

1. The fact that her DH is practically chomping at the bit to hit his child is disturbing at best.

2. No, we won't be.

Yes this.

and no, i dont understand violence as a method of discipline.

The Anti Anni · February 2010

I plan to spank until he's 16.

Chrysallys · February 2010

No, and that guy is an asswipe if he's looking forward to spanking.

ivs112 · February 2010

I'm not opposed to a swat on the butt or a slap on the hand. I was spanked and I'm fine. I don't judge anyone who does or does not spank.

But seriously, who says they "can't wait" to spank their kid?

ceg2483 · February 2010

The situation that you describe is quite disturbing.

I do not plan to spank, but it's a child discipline tool that we will use if we feel that it is appropriate.

In my opinion, spanking should be used very infrequently and only if the child is doing something that puts themselves or others at risk. Giving a child the equal punishment (like a timeout) for doing something incredibly dangerous and just simply misbehaving sometimes does not work.

Spanking does not equal fear or violence, or at least it shouldn't. It signifies to a child that they have done something very very wrong and cannot do it again.

I was spanked last when I was five years old for going into the parking lot after getting separated from my parents. I knew to stay where I was but I didn't. I could have been run over or kidnapped. I was spanked for it and you better believe that I never made the same mistake again.

Spanking gets a bad name because of parents who spank too much and too hard.

christina-marie · February 2010

No. Emphatically no. Never. Ever. For us this doesn't fall under the "just you wait until he's older" category. DH & I will never lay a hand on our child in anger for any reason whatsoever.

sarahbethrn · February 2010

Yes, we plan on spanking. Both DH and I were spanked as children if we misbehaved and realize that if spanking is used correctly, it can be a very effective form of punishment. It will not be the first line of discipline.

SwissPrincessBride · February 2010

I look forward to one day have princess slumber parties with K, going shopping together, Mommy and me time at the movies, etc. I don't understand looking forward to spanking your child. Frankly, that turns my stomach.

And no, we will not be spanking.

tsands · February 2010

sarahbethrn:
Yes, we plan on spanking. Both DH and I were spanked as children if we misbehaved and realize that if spanking is used correctly, it can be a very effective form of punishment. It will not be the first line of discipline.

This.

jolis_petits_bijoux · February 2010

No, we do not plan on spanking. That doesn't mean I won't swat L on the bottom if he does something dangerous - but we do not plan to spank as in, "Ok, you did ____, now you are being spanked as a punishment" and bend him over our knee. I do not believe in violence as a form of punishment.

Now, that said, I think it is sick that your friend's DH is looking forward to spanking his child. Really, who talks about spanking a two month old?? As PP said, it sounds like he is going to derive some kind of pleasure/enjoyment out of spanking the child, which makes me say Indifferent If parents choose to spank as a form of punishment, it should not be something they enjoy.

Erin5849 · February 2010

No. It didn't work on me. When my parents hit, it only got me more mad, disobedient and mouthy.

rainlily · February 2010

We don't plan on spanking DD. But, we don't judge other people's parenting choices. However, if a friend made a comment that "he couldn't wait" until he could spank his LO we might judge a teensy bit then. Agree with pp that spanking is not supposed to be something the parent looks forward to.

albl508 · February 2010

I remember when my precious baby was 6 months old. I could never at that age (he's 12 months now) be anxious to spank him. That is really sad. No, we will not be spanking.