3rd Trimester

Bothered by a comment about having shower before baby is here...

I'm really bothered by this. A lady told my hubby and I that we shouldn't have a shower before the baby is here because, well, people loose babies before they're born, when they're born, etc. I was so excited to start helping plan my shower and now I feel so depressed. I felt like it was rude! I mean, the baby's been with me now for so long I don't even like to think about that kind of stuff happening. It kind of took my joy away. I don't know. I'm really, really bothered and kind of depressed. Sad

Re: Bothered by a comment about having shower before baby is here...

  • That's the kind of thing one should think to themselves and not say.  What a beyatch.
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  • I am so sorry that you had to interact with a woman like that! People like that should be shot!
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  • Don't let other people's ignorance get you down. Some people just don't realize how hurtful the things that come out of their mouth can be.  Enjoy your shower and the rest of your pregnancy.  Big Smile
  • That would bother me too... Why would anyone in their right mind say something like that? Just think of all of the women who had baby showers while they were pregnant and had perfectly healthy babies.
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  • ugh!  that's an obnoxious thing to say to someone.  my dh is jewish and in the jewish culture, many people won't have a shower before, but no one would ever say it like that!!  how rude.  so sorry, don't let one person take that joy away from you.  you'll feel so much joy at your shower, don't worry.
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  • That's a horrible thing to say! I'm sorry sweetie. Don't be upset. Everything is gonna be great. Relax and enjoy your shower.
  • I've had a woman at a gas station tell me that my DH and I were horrible to bring a child into the world given our countries economic status....

    I called her a *** and walked away.

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  • I can't believe someone said that to you!  Yes its a possibility, but chances are much much much much higher that your LO will be born safe and sound!  Way to upset a pregnant woman! 

    What a D-Bag...serioulsy, so insensitive! 

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  • For some reason people have no filter when they talk to pregnant women.  Totally unnecessary comments fly left and right... and that's definitely one of them!  So I have learned to put a filter on my hearing.... Just smile and nod at people and then go about your business.
  • Wow, if someone said that to me or my H things would have spewed from my mouth that would turn a truck driver pale. Forget it ever happened, that woman needs help.
  • so sorry to hear you had to endure that! some people just need to learn to shut their mouths!  enjoy your shower.

    i remember being upset like that when i first found out we were having a boy (100% sure per the U/S tech & 99.9% per our doc only because he didn't want to say 100%) and someone told me how they could be wrong and to not plan for a boy.  did not go over well with me either, and yes, i have a lot of blue stuff anyways. 

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  • Indifferent what an Ahole!!
  • And how the hell does she expect a person to prepare for a baby if you never buy a single item for the baby? or never has a shower to even get a diaper or and outfit BEFORE it's born? Seriously lets not jinx anything and buy a car seat "just in case" you lose your baby before hand! That was a LAME and very, very, very hurtful thing to say!
  • People are seriously idiots and should not be allowed to talk! Do not let her get you down and just enjoy your shower! Smile
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  • I have family from the UK--they dont do showers beforehand because its considered jinxing the baby;  it's just a different way over there (more superstitious than here);  maybe for her it was a cultural thing. 
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  • imageWorcbride:
    I have family from the UK--they dont do showers beforehand because its considered jinxing the baby;  it's just a different way over there (more superstitious than here);  maybe for her it was a cultural thing. 

    That's what I was thinking. Of course, she could have said it in a much more ... tactful way, so I still don't think that's an excuse.

    And re: the woman at the gas station. OMG. So we're supposed to all stop procreating because our economy isn't perfect? I think the human race would die out waiting for all of that to work out, lol.


    Evelyn (3.24.10), Graham (5.30.13) & Miles (8.28.16)
  • That lady made a cruel and ignorant statement. It is hard to ignore but for the sake of your own sanity you need to. People are always going to say mean things that are going to take away your joy and it is up to you to brush it off. Showers are fun so enjoy and just think about that wonderful moment when you are holding your LO in your arms.

    More than likely that lady was one of the very unfortunate few who lost a child.

  • whats her address?? Ill go kick her in the shin
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  • My mom was born in Italy & she feels the same way, BUT she'd never say it like that...she just says she doesn't believe in showers (which caused a lot of stress/drama when my MIL planned one, but that is another story).  People shouldn't try to push their views on others!!

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