- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Babies: 9 - 12 Months
Because I cant wait until Unpop Op thursday...
I think allowing your child to cry him/herself to sleep is terrible. As an adult, there have been several nights when, for whatever reason, I've cried myself to sleep. I can't imagine doing that intentionally to a child.
Whimpering and fussing for a few minutes is one thing, but when I read that some of you have allowed your child to cry in their crib for an hour or more, it breaks my heart.
And THAT is my unpopular opinion.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Because I cant wait until Unpop Op thursday...
i felt that way once too, until i spent months getting up every 30 mins all night and was told my child was suffering developmentally because of how exhausted he was. he cried ONE night and has sttn almost every night since. he's really suffering now that he is happy.
eta: we did progressive waiting, not full on CIO
I didn't flat out CIO, we went in every few minutes, except when he's sick or badly teething.
My friend is doing it to her daughter (nightly elsewhere but) right now in our spare room
Missed m/c 10/25/10 @ 11.5 weeks
Out of curiousity, does your LO STTN? Just wondering where you're coming from.
Mine is nowhere close and still wakes at least 6-8 times a night. We've been considering some sort of sleep training.
SAHM to two sweet girls, both born at home; Baby #3 in 2013!
So... are you saying that since I am sleep training Web, I don't love him as much as you love your son?
Or did I just over-analyze that statement?
There are plenty of sleep training methods that do not involve crying. The No Cry Sleep Solution is one.
Missed m/c 10/25/10 @ 11.5 weeks
yeah i'm just a big BABY HATER. i don't love my kid at ALL huh.
I think you are over analyzing it. All I mean is that I could never let anyone cry without soothing them. Its one way I show My love. I'm sure you love your baby too and I don't want to get into any comparisons because I'm sure everyone here loves their own child. I really didn't mean it that way.
Missed m/c 10/25/10 @ 11.5 weeks
This, I do. But if he cries, I sooth.
Can I bring up spanking in comparison to CIO?
(I'm KIDDING. For the record.)
Yup..here too! I love my baby enough to make sure he has a rested, healthy mother. That's the most important thing. A mother that is depressed, angry, and falling asleep at the wheel is not a good thing!
She was, but when she hit 8 months she's started waking up every 3-4 hrs. I usually let her fuss, whimper a little - and when it's just that, she might go back to sleep. It's when she gets into full on screaming that I seriously can't bear to let her just lay there crying her eyes out. It's not fair to her, or to myself & DH.
ETA: sorry not 8 months - she started waking up around the 7-month mark, not 8. Started to STTN (for the most part) at 3 months.
Ok. Gotchya. I love Web and I love him so much that I'm sleep training him so he'll eat better, be happier and develop better (not to mention be healtheir). DH and I have had the flu (he had swine), strep throat, and several other sicknesses in the past 4 months because our immune systems were shot from sleep deprivation. I wasn't being the best mother I could be because I was so tired and very irritable. I want to be better, and through several testimonies, this has worked. I hope it works for us. I want to be a better mommy.
It really depends on the child whether or not it will work. To PP who recommended No Cry Sleep Solution. That does not work with every child, just as CIO does not work with every child.
We tried so many different approaches and the ONLY one he responds well to is CIO. Plain and simple. When I see his big smile after he wakes up happy from STTN or taking a kick ass nap I know that we made the right decision for our child.
ITA with you Cheeky
I fully believe everyone has to do what works for them, and their family. I could never let DS cry and as I result he still does not STTN. But its my choice to make. He's happy and healthy and that's all that matters. There are many parenting styles that will result in a happy and healthy child. Choose the one that works for you, I don't think you are a bad mom for choosing what works for your family. CIO is not a choice I would make for mine.
Missed m/c 10/25/10 @ 11.5 weeks
this! i tried every no cry method i could think of. i slept on the floor in his room and got up every 30 minutes when he woke up to put him back to sleep (which sometimes took an hour or more). DH and I were constantly fighting and exhausted. DS was constantly upset and exhausted. His pedi was concerned about his development because he wasn't getting enough sleep.
it's really douchey to say all CIO is wrong or mean or bad. as if it isn't hard enough to make that decision for your child, then go through with it, crying along with him and wondering if you're doing the right thing.
thanks.
i seriously LOLed at this!!!!!
I agree with this. No Cry Sleep Solution, Ferber, and other methods did not work for DS, he got way more upset with us "checking in" or "picking up putting down" or anything else that involved him seeing us. After 10+ months of terrible sleep for ALL of us, we did extinction using the HSHHC methods. It worked for the most part. It was a last resort for us after 10 months of trying everything else, but it was what worked for DS.
I think it's a lot easier to have the opinion that CIO is horrible if you have a child who has slept through the night from 3 months (even if they stopped at some point). Nearly a year of sleep deprivation is NOT healthy for anyone (mom or baby) and learning how to sleep is an important skill.
YES YES YES exactly, ok really, goodnight people
Just for the record, and not to be confrontational, I suffer from insomnia, so I know full well what sleep deprivation does to a person. I'm going on 3 years of not sleeping for any more than a 4-hr stretch at a time. It's not healthy, and even when I was put on sleep meds, they didn't work, and I was awake... hallucinating.
I felt the same way with my first child, but she was a decent sleeper with little to no intervention by me. My second kid? Not so much. And then he was waking up the first kid, and it was waking up our entire family. My husband was exhausted at work. I was exhausted caring for two kids and never, ever got a break. I was crabby, and I was yelling more than I liked and just being a crappy mom.
I tried Ferber and it failed totally. He never got it. I tried Sleep Lady, and yes, he cried, but we were in there soothing him. He figured it out, and now instead of waking up 4-8 times a night, he only wakes up once. We're all sleeping again, and we are all happier. I'm a better mom to BOTH of my kids for having done it, and I would have NEVER thought I'd do it with my first one. I love both of them too much
Why is it when someone posts that they don't agree with CIO everyone jumps on them. Not agreeing with CIO does not mean that we think everyone who does it is a horrible mother. It just means that I choose alternative methods.
ETA: Shween I'm glad you posted this.
Missed m/c 10/25/10 @ 11.5 weeks
Hey, as long as you stay the hell out of the posts of the ladies that have decided to take that route and are asking for help.. I don't care what you think!
It's really and truly not for everyone.... But getting up every 30 minutes is not for everyone either and people do what they have to do in order to teach their LO's to self soothe.
And sometimes when I cry, I feel better afterwards.. like it released a lot of pent up stress.
This exactly - thanks, mama. I don't think anyone is a horrible mother, I just hate thinking about babies crying themselves to sleep. It makes me all emotional and sad. (not in a judgy, douchy way though, jeez)
Happy to say I don't think I've ever once posted in any CIO posts - that's why I created my own. LOL
Right, so if you know how unhealthy it is, how can you judge parents who don't want that unhealthiness for themselves or their children?
I am sorry you suffer from insomnia and not being able to have medication that helps, I can relate to the misery of not being able to sleep.
But the OP said she thought it was terrible and that it breaks her heart. She didn't just say she disagrees with it. She might not have outright said we are horrible mothers, but she said it was a terrible thing to do to your child. I think that's why people are jumping on her and feel the need to justify their choice.
ETA: I posted this before I saw the OP's response. I think it's just a touchy issue for a lot of people, you know?
This exactly - thanks, mama. I don't think anyone is a horrible mother, I just hate thinking about babies crying themselves to sleep. It makes me all emotional and sad. (not in a judgy, douchy way though, jeez)
Happy to say I don't think I've ever once posted in any CIO posts - that's why I created my own. LOL
Well, I agree that I hate thinking about babies crying. And I hate hearing my own cry. But I know it's best for him in the long run. Just like I know it'll be best when I make him brush his teeth even if he cries, or don't let him touch the outlets even though he sometimes cries when I take him away. But yeah, I still hate hearing it.
I'm actually not judging any parent for choosing to do CIO. When I think about babies crying themselves to sleep, it makes me all emo & sad. I can't listen to my baby cry, but whatever you do with your kid is your thing.