3rd Trimester

Grandma shower? Like, seriously???

I just found out today that SO's mother is being honored with a Grandma Shower? Why exactly? I mean, I'm the mother-to-be and I haven't had a shower yet. So, why would a grandmother-to-be need a shower and what exactly is she being showered with? Things that I'll later decide won't be used on/with my daughter? Yes, I resent the idea of this very much. I'm the mother-to-be and this is MY time to be pampered and honored before all thoughts, care and concern turn totally to baby. Is nothing sacred anymore? Why do I have to share this special time with her? I am in NO WAY participating in this nonsense.

**end vent**

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Re: Grandma shower? Like, seriously???

  • That seems really ridiculous. You haven't even had one yet? I'd be mad. Every christmas card my parents received congratulated them on becoming gparents but not a single one of my cards (from the same people) congratulated me on becoming a mother! I thought it was stupid.
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  • I have heard of this!!

    My mom's friends threw one of the ladies in their group a "grandma shower." I forget exactly why, but I think there was a reason. Maybe grandma was going to watch the baby so they were helping her w/PNP, high chair, etc?

    I honestly don't remember but I thought it was weird.

  • Talk about gift grabby.  I don't like it, not one bit.  Thank gosh my mom isn't having one, as far as I know.
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  • I've never heard of it. But, I kind of think it sounds ridiculous. I mean, isn't the mother-to-be supposed to be showered? What's the point of a gramother shower? And, if you haven't had a shower yet? I mean, really.
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  • they did one of those for a lady i worked with, it was weird everyone got her diapers pretty much. it was the lady's 2nd grandchild. but to her defense her daughter is kinda weird and should not be reproducing, they live with grandma and i think she buys most everything.

    but thats weird that they have it for her when you havent had one yet for yourself. is she gonna give you the stuff she gets from the shower?

  • imageumsldispatcher:

    they did one of those for a lady i worked with, it was weird everyone got her diapers pretty much. it was the lady's 2nd grandchild. but to her defense her daughter is kinda weird and should not be reproducing, they live with grandma and i think she buys most everything.

    but thats weird that they have it for her when you havent had one yet for yourself. is she gonna give you the stuff she gets from the shower?

    Honestly, I'm not sure how this works and I'm totally put off by it. I assume that would use my registry as a guide, but who the heck knows? This is just sooo stupid!

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  • imagefelecia_hope:
    imageumsldispatcher:

    they did one of those for a lady i worked with, it was weird everyone got her diapers pretty much. it was the lady's 2nd grandchild. but to her defense her daughter is kinda weird and should not be reproducing, they live with grandma and i think she buys most everything.

    but thats weird that they have it for her when you havent had one yet for yourself. is she gonna give you the stuff she gets from the shower?

    Honestly, I'm not sure how this works and I'm totally put off by it. I assume that would use my registry as a guide, but who the heck knows? This is just sooo stupid!

    Your registry???????   If someone bought the stuff I picked out for myself for MIL and that prevented me getting it at my shower I'd be SO EFFING PISSED! 

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  • F THAT. Wow i'd be so offended if my MIL tried to have one of those. 
  • imageDreamsicle23:
    imagefelecia_hope:
    imageumsldispatcher:

    they did one of those for a lady i worked with, it was weird everyone got her diapers pretty much. it was the lady's 2nd grandchild. but to her defense her daughter is kinda weird and should not be reproducing, they live with grandma and i think she buys most everything.

    but thats weird that they have it for her when you havent had one yet for yourself. is she gonna give you the stuff she gets from the shower?

    Honestly, I'm not sure how this works and I'm totally put off by it. I assume that would use my registry as a guide, but who the heck knows? This is just sooo stupid!

    Your registry???????   If someone bought the stuff I picked out for myself for MIL and that prevented me getting it at my shower I'd be SO EFFING PISSED! 

    Oh no, no, no, no. No one would be using my registry for anything. That's just wrong.

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  • yeah most people didnt get her anything. i would be really upset if people got her stuff that i needed. especially if she didnt give it to me afterward and i would have to go out and get it cuz her friends got it and gave it to her. it woudl be one thing if they invited you to come also and you got to keep all the stuff! i mean your the one having the baby not her. 
  • When LO gets married, I'm totally going to have a MOB shower. I'll be able to use some new plates by then.

     

    (assuming you realize its sarcasm)

  • imageumsldispatcher:
    yeah most people didnt get her anything. i would be really upset if people got her stuff that i needed. especially if she didnt give it to me afterward and i would have to go out and get it cuz her friends got it and gave it to her. it woudl be one thing if they invited you to come also and you got to keep all the stuff! i mean your the one having the baby not her. 

    That's why this entire idea just seems so tasteless and inappropriate. If anything SHE should be throwing ME a shower and not being showered b/c her son's sperm could swim...ugh...I'm just too through!!!

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  • I'd be irate. I can understand buying a card that says "Congratulations on becoming a grandma......."or "congrats on the new grandbaby" but gifts for grandma is where I draw the line. I googled this whole nonsense.....and you wouldn't BELIEVE what people are doing: they're actually throwing full fledged showers for grandma - with gifts and games and the whole thing. I can't even justify buying grandma "stuff for when she babysits" - If grandma's babysitting, I'm packing the diaper bag with everything LO is going to need. This is just nonsense IMO.
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  • imageDreamsicle23:
    imagefelecia_hope:
    imageumsldispatcher:

    they did one of those for a lady i worked with, it was weird everyone got her diapers pretty much. it was the lady's 2nd grandchild. but to her defense her daughter is kinda weird and should not be reproducing, they live with grandma and i think she buys most everything.

    but thats weird that they have it for her when you havent had one yet for yourself. is she gonna give you the stuff she gets from the shower?

    Honestly, I'm not sure how this works and I'm totally put off by it. I assume that would use my registry as a guide, but who the heck knows? This is just sooo stupid!

    Your registry???????   If someone bought the stuff I picked out for myself for MIL and that prevented me getting it at my shower I'd be SO EFFING PISSED! 

     

    Can we say lime light stealer?!? She is not the one pushing a kid out and should not be praised for someone else doing the hard work.  As for the registry thing, I would call her up and put a stop to it real quick if she refuses just close them out and make a new one under your maiden name and do not tell her about it.  I would also not invite her to your shower since she already had one.  If she b###ches about it to your SO tell him tough noogies, she had one w/o you!

  • imagefelecia_hope:

    imageumsldispatcher:
    yeah most people didnt get her anything. i would be really upset if people got her stuff that i needed. especially if she didnt give it to me afterward and i would have to go out and get it cuz her friends got it and gave it to her. it woudl be one thing if they invited you to come also and you got to keep all the stuff! i mean your the one having the baby not her. 

    That's why this entire idea just seems so tasteless and inappropriate. If anything SHE should be throwing ME a shower and not being showered b/c her son's sperm could swim...ugh...I'm just too through!!!

    Hon I am just pissed off for you. It's horribly tacky and wrong. The mother-to-be and LO are the ones who need to be showered.

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  • wth! that is ridiculous! your the one with the baby! its not like shes needs diapers or gifts lol
  • i agree!!!! so does my fiance!!! just cuz they have good swimmers dont mean their moms get the party!! they had their chance for a baby shower when they had kids!! LOL
  • lurking... but here's my expereience.

    I used to nanny for triplets. Before they were born g'ma had a shower (in addition to several for the mother to be) She got outofits and diapers and differfent things to that effect, nothing big though. Then she gave all of the items to the mother.

    G'ma works for a school and had a lot of friends/coworkers who wanted to buy things b/c they were triplets and it was such a big deal (after 9 yrs of infertility). So this is why they did it. I think it made since in this situation, but maybe this is the exception...

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  • More like selfish old whore shower. Seriously wtf?!
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  • Seriously. I would be so annoyed and this is totally something my MIL would do. I have never heard of this and think it's totally obnoxious.




  • imageIrishBrideND:

    When LO gets married, I'm totally going to have a MOB shower. I'll be able to use some new plates by then.

     

    (assuming you realize its sarcasm)

    This is a wonderful idea! I need a MOG shower I am sure by then I could register for some new pots and pans etc!

  • imagemrs.gardner:
    More like selfish old whore shower. Seriously wtf?!

    OMG TOO FUNNY!!! i think i am gonna pee my pants laughing!!!

  • imageteelaman:
    I'd be irate. I can understand buying a card that says "Congratulations on becoming a grandma......."or "congrats on the new grandbaby" but gifts for grandma is where I draw the line. I googled this whole nonsense.....and you wouldn't BELIEVE what people are doing: they're actually throwing full fledged showers for grandma - with gifts and games and the whole thing. I can't even justify buying grandma "stuff for when she babysits" - If grandma's babysitting, I'm packing the diaper bag with everything LO is going to need. This is just nonsense IMO.

    In addition, I'm could see GMa's friends sending her gifts that should be forwarded to me, but never to go to her. So wrong! If you weren't there for conception (obviously other than adoption or something) you don't get gifts.





  • I'm kinda sad all around that I know about this whole thing....

    Here are some google results that pretty much make me even more irritated at the people who come up with this crap. The "what to buy grandma" lists are absurd. They're either things mom will bring, or stuff grandma doesn't actually need at her house - unless the baby's living with her full time. Edit *** From everything I've seen online, the gifts are FOR grandma - not for grandma to give to mom or share or anything - FOR grandma.

    https://www.party411.com/theme109.html

     https://www.mamabebe.com/grandparentgift.html

    https://www.grandparents.com/gp/content/expert-advice/new-grandparents/article/ababyshowerforgrandma.html?page=&show_all_comments=1#comments

     

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  • imageteelaman:

    I'm kinda sad all around that I know about this whole thing....

    Here are some google results that pretty much make me even more irritated at the people who come up with this crap. The "what to buy grandma" lists are absurd. They're either things mom will bring, or stuff grandma doesn't actually need at her house - unless the baby's living with her full time. Edit *** From everything I've seen online, the gifts are FOR grandma - not for grandma to give to mom or share or anything - FOR grandma.

    https://www.party411.com/theme109.html

     https://www.mamabebe.com/grandparentgift.html

    https://www.grandparents.com/gp/content/expert-advice/new-grandparents/article/ababyshowerforgrandma.html?page=&show_all_comments=1#comments


     

    Ugh...so wrong. Disgusting. Gifts for Gma...HELL NO

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  • imageteelaman:
    I'd be irate. I can understand buying a card that says "Congratulations on becoming a grandma......."or "congrats on the new grandbaby" but gifts for grandma is where I draw the line. I googled this whole nonsense.....and you wouldn't BELIEVE what people are doing: they're actually throwing full fledged showers for grandma - with gifts and games and the whole thing. I can't even justify buying grandma "stuff for when she babysits" - If grandma's babysitting, I'm packing the diaper bag with everything LO is going to need. This is just nonsense IMO.

    I know!! I Googled it too and there are a lot of sites dedicated to the idea of Grandma Showers. It doesn't make any sense to me.

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  • sh*t... I hope the grandma shower word doesn't get out.... my mum would be all over a party like this.
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  • How are you sharing if your biitch ass isn't invited to the party?

     



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  • imageAliciaCM:

    lurking... but here's my expereience.

    I used to nanny for triplets. Before they were born g'ma had a shower (in addition to several for the mother to be) She got outofits and diapers and differfent things to that effect, nothing big though. Then she gave all of the items to the mother.

    G'ma works for a school and had a lot of friends/coworkers who wanted to buy things b/c they were triplets and it was such a big deal (after 9 yrs of infertility). So this is why they did it. I think it made since in this situation, but maybe this is the exception...

    I haven't had an opportunity to discuss the specifics with his mom b/c when she called I was napping, but the idea of it seriously irks me. I think your example is the exception. I expect whatever items she gets from her shower will be kept at her house.

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  • Meeeee. MEEEEE.  How dare anyone have a BABY shower for anyone but MOM?!

    image
  • My mom's coworkers threw her a "grandma" shower at work.  I wasn't bothered.  My mom keeps my DD, and will this baby as well, a lot.  I think they know how close we are and she would be our primary babysitter.  It's so nice that she has all the crap at her house...all we have to do is pack some clothes.  My mom has a couple bottles, some dishes, silverware, etc.

    As for gifts she got a high chair/booster chair that attaches to a kitchen chair (lifesaver that she has one), some toys (again, lifesavers that we don't have to drag this stuff around), and then some little stuff like a grandma picture frame, etc. 

    It sounds like you probably have an issue with this woman aside from this LOL.  Sorry you're aggravated.

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  • This sounds like something my MIL would do.
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  • Honestly, it's a little effed. But in the same way its kind of cute. No, grandma may not *need* any baby items, but especially if he/she is going to be spending alot of time at her house, it will benifit YOU to not have to drag certain things over everytime. It may not be right for your circumstance but I can see how it might be a really nice thing for some grandma to be's.

    On the other hand, you need to get a grip and get over yourself. As atrocious as it might seem to you (or maybe even be, depending on the situation) you are coming off as a totally spoiled, entitled brat. "If anything SHE should be throwing ME a shower" Come on. A shower isn't supposed to be for YOU or for HER. It's supposed to be for THE BABY. If you want a shower so bad, throw one for yourself. Stop playing the victim, it's unbecoming.

    So it goes.
  • imageEmmybean:

    Honestly, it's a little effed. But in the same way its kind of cute. No, grandma may not *need* any baby items, but especially if he/she is going to be spending alot of time at her house, it will benifit YOU to not have to drag certain things over everytime. It may not be right for your circumstance but I can see how it might be a really nice thing for some grandma to be's.

    On the other hand, you need to get a grip and get over yourself. As atrocious as it might seem to you (or maybe even be, depending on the situation) you are coming off as a totally spoiled, entitled brat. "If anything SHE should be throwing ME a shower" Come on. A shower isn't supposed to be for YOU or for HER. It's supposed to be for THE BABY. If you want a shower so bad, throw one for yourself. Stop playing the victim, it's unbecoming.

    It's funny that you should share such amazing insights. Since I am the mother-to-be of the child-to-be, a shower for baby is then, in fact, a shower for me. As half of her parental unit and all, but I could see how you might miss that little nugget. I don't "need" a shower, and grandma-to-be certainly doesn't need one. The point is, if anyone is to be given a baby shower for a child that'll be birthed from my body, it should be me and/or he and I, her parents. ;-)

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  • imagehindsight's_a_biotch:

    How are you sharing if your biitch ass isn't invited to the party?

     

    Profound! You're a gem! LOL. Actually I was invited, but I won't be participating in the foolishness.

    ps.  Biitch ass is one of my FAVORITE phrases!!!!

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  • imageMrsJazzAirForceWife:
    imageteelaman:

    I'm kinda sad all around that I know about this whole thing....

    Here are some google results that pretty much make me even more irritated at the people who come up with this crap. The "what to buy grandma" lists are absurd. They're either things mom will bring, or stuff grandma doesn't actually need at her house - unless the baby's living with her full time. Edit *** From everything I've seen online, the gifts are FOR grandma - not for grandma to give to mom or share or anything - FOR grandma.

    https://www.party411.com/theme109.html

     https://www.mamabebe.com/grandparentgift.html

    https://www.grandparents.com/gp/content/expert-advice/new-grandparents/article/ababyshowerforgrandma.html?page=&show_all_comments=1#comments


     

    Ugh...so wrong. Disgusting. Gifts for Gma...HELL NO

    Really? It's "disgusting" to give anyone else except the superincrediblyspecial mom gifts? 

    "I
  • imagefelecia_hope:
    imageEmmybean:

    Honestly, it's a little effed. But in the same way its kind of cute. No, grandma may not *need* any baby items, but especially if he/she is going to be spending alot of time at her house, it will benifit YOU to not have to drag certain things over everytime. It may not be right for your circumstance but I can see how it might be a really nice thing for some grandma to be's.

    On the other hand, you need to get a grip and get over yourself. As atrocious as it might seem to you (or maybe even be, depending on the situation) you are coming off as a totally spoiled, entitled brat. "If anything SHE should be throwing ME a shower" Come on. A shower isn't supposed to be for YOU or for HER. It's supposed to be for THE BABY. If you want a shower so bad, throw one for yourself. Stop playing the victim, it's unbecoming.

    It's funny that you should share such amazing insights. Since I am the mother-to-be of the child-to-be, a shower for baby is then, in fact, a shower for me. As half of her parental unit and all, but I could see how you might miss that little nugget. I don't "need" a shower, and grandma-to-be certainly doesn't need one. The point is, if anyone is to be given a baby shower for a child that'll be birthed from my body, it should be me and/or he and I, her parents. ;-)

    WOW, All this time I thought that GRANDPARENTS were the parents.

    Are you seriously this bad all the time, or have the pregnancy hormones just made you completely batshit crazy and, might I add (again) selfish and entitled? 

    IF your MIL is throwing this shower for herself, you have a right to be pissed that she isn't throwing YOU (mother to be! greatest gift to the known universe!) a shower instead. But if her friends are throwing it for her, how is this her fault? Also, IF she will rarely have her grandchild in her home for any length of time,  I think it's effed up, but again it's not about YOU or HER. It's about the baby. Why is it so hard to appreciate that this baby is so wanted and loved by so many already that they want to celebrate her?

    So it goes.
  • imagefelecia_hope:
    imageEmmybean:

    Honestly, it's a little effed. But in the same way its kind of cute. No, grandma may not *need* any baby items, but especially if he/she is going to be spending alot of time at her house, it will benifit YOU to not have to drag certain things over everytime. It may not be right for your circumstance but I can see how it might be a really nice thing for some grandma to be's.

    On the other hand, you need to get a grip and get over yourself. As atrocious as it might seem to you (or maybe even be, depending on the situation) you are coming off as a totally spoiled, entitled brat. "If anything SHE should be throwing ME a shower" Come on. A shower isn't supposed to be for YOU or for HER. It's supposed to be for THE BABY. If you want a shower so bad, throw one for yourself. Stop playing the victim, it's unbecoming.

    It's funny that you should share such amazing insights. Since I am the mother-to-be of the child-to-be, a shower for baby is then, in fact, a shower for me. As half of her parental unit and all, but I could see how you might miss that little nugget. I don't "need" a shower, and grandma-to-be certainly doesn't need one. The point is, if anyone is to be given a baby shower for a child that'll be birthed from my body, it should be me and/or he and I, her parents. ;-)

    Nobody should need a baby shower.  Honestly, I don't see the big deal.  If your MIL's friends want to throw her a shower, then let them.  Who are you to tell her friends what they can and can't do?  It's not as though she's planning it for herself, and then inviting her friends.  And why should she turn down the idea?  Are you friends with her friends that are throwing the shower?  Would you invite them to a shower if you were to have one for yourself?  Because if not then it's not like you're missing out on any gifts - you wouldn't be getting them anyways.

    This could really turn out to be beneficial for you - if LO ever goes to your MIL's house for a significant amount of time you won't have to worry about bringing bottles, a high chair, a pack n play, etc.  You said if MIL was going to watch your LO then you'd just pack it up and bring it - but how much nicer will it be that you won't have to?  Instead you'll just need to bring a change of clothes and a few extra diapers!

  • I could understand her friends celebrating her new grandchild, but a shower is a little ridiculous.
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