MIL in Delivery Room

Mrs.Ortega81409 · January 2010

I really don't mind her being there but I'm definitely not going to have my MIL there if I can only have 2 people and my mother can make it that day. My husband gets very uneasy around blood and things like that so I would want my own mother there to help me and support me. Having an extra person there is fine with me as long as my mother and husband can be there as well.

I had no idea so many people would be so anti-MIL in delivery room. It's nice to know that I am being very, very good about his request.

Tatstar · January 2010

Ugh. I'd almost rather go somewhere alone, have the baby and then bring it back for everyone to see. I completely hate being fussed over when I'm sick and/or in pain - I have a problem with that much vulnerability. It will be difficult for me to have DH in there, to be totally up front. I mean I absolutely want him there and he's probably the only person I'm willing to be that vulnerable in front of, but it will still be difficult. We are toying with the idea of not even telling anyone until after so that they aren't all hanging out in the waiting room. I'd rather us have the baby, have some time to spend just the three of us and then call everyone so they can come see us the next day. Unfortunately the boundary issues of some of my family members will mean that the rest have to wait as well.

chance_encounters · January 2010

For my 1st and 2nd pg, both my mom and mil and DH were in the room with me. My hospital allowed up to 4 people. Like pp's said, ask the hospital what their allowance is.

KellyG6279 · January 2010

When we took our Bradley Classes getting ready for DS, our teacher/doula mentioned a study that showed that for every extra person in the room while you are laboring, a certain amount of time is added on to the length of your labor. The more relaxed and focused you are, the quicker and easier everything should progress. I would limit the number of people to just one - your DH.

estomo · January 2010

heckkk no! I'm having DH and my mom (not my choice... but its her first grandchild and would be very hurt if I didnt let her be there)... if I can have anymore people it will be my best friend and/or a very good friend who is having her 6th child this spring and is an incredibly positive, realistic, and supportive person... that's the type of person you need. I have 4 sisters in law and no way they will be in the room even if I get along with them great and one of them is a nurse!

Alison5437 · January 2010

nd&ka:
Alison5437:

My MIL actually asked me if she could pull the baby out of my vaj jay. I literally almost fell over, I actually started laughing, but her face told me she wasn't joking.

HOLY CRAP. What did DH say to that one?

He just gave me the.. "well you know how my mom is..." But did agree that she was out of control

soontobemrsc. · January 2010

When I had my son my In-laws came to visit me in the delivery room and while they were there I actually started making progress and my water broke and I think they both got a view when my doc checked me that I would rather they hadn't. With my daughter it was me, my husband and my mom(she's a labor and delivery nurse.) Everyone else got to see the baby after she was born. That is how it will be this time around too. It is completely up to you though if you feel comfortable having your MIL in the room. I think it is something that you need to decide, considering it is your vagina hanging out there and not your husband's penis. I think it is crazy that he wants his mom and didn't even mention YOUR mom. Strange.

Ready2006 · January 2010

I was really worried about the whole people in the room issue but was SO relieved when my Mom brought it up and asked if it would just be DH in the room--she was totally cool with it. I may hire a doula, but that's TBD, and she would be the only person besides DH there.

Frankly, I'd like my Sister there, but I know it'd hurt my Mom to ask her, so I'm just not going to.

rann25 · January 2010

No MIL's. No parents. I don't care if Jesus himself asks to be in that room it's a flat out no. I don't like showing my goodies when they're pretty much less when I got people shoving their hands in there to pull out a human.

Buckets of Moonbeams · January 2010

When I had K, it was just my H and my mom. After she was born, I was like "the more the merrier for #2!" I would have loved to have my MIL in the delivery room with me this time, but she died after being ill a short time last July.

jrhell · January 2010

I agree with pretty much everyone else. It's YOUR decision of who gets to be in the room. Personally, I would NEVER want my MIL (or any of my IL's for that matter) to see me like that. But if the hospital will allow more than 2 people and you're OK with it, go for it.

haleybeth81 · January 2010

la79al:
There is no way my MIL would ever be in the delivery room. Ask your husband if he would mind being naked and vulnerable in front of your father.

So agree I was embarrassed that my mom was there and will only have DH in the room this. My SIL wants to be there but I'm not sure I want her seeing me in all my glory

nd&ka · January 2010

Alison5437:
nd&ka:
Alison5437:

My MIL actually asked me if she could pull the baby out of my vaj jay. I literally almost fell over, I actually started laughing, but her face told me she wasn't joking.

HOLY CRAP. What did DH say to that one?

He just gave me the.. "well you know how my mom is..." But did agree that she was out of control

nd&ka · January 2010

Alison5437:
nd&ka:
Alison5437:

My MIL actually asked me if she could pull the baby out of my vaj jay. I literally almost fell over, I actually started laughing, but her face told me she wasn't joking.

HOLY CRAP. What did DH say to that one?

He just gave me the.. "well you know how my mom is..." But did agree that she was out of control

mrs.mickulz · January 2010

august282005:

Our rule, for everyone but medical care providers, is that if you weren't in the room when the baby was conceived, you don't need to be there when the baby is born.

This was our policy, exactly!

nd&ka · January 2010

LOL! "You know how my mom is"...that is my fav answer from DH.

Seriously...I you have a more invasive & intrusive MIL than I do...congrats, that is a tough record to beat!!!

KatieLW · January 2010

la79al:
There is no way my MIL would ever be in the delivery room. Ask your husband if he would mind being naked and vulnerable in front of your father.

That's a good analogy! I also would never want my MIL in the room. Fortunately for me, I guess, since I'm having twins I'll deliver in the OR and only my husband will get to be there so we don't have to tell anyone yes or no, none of them can come in

KendraDee13 · January 2010

You've got to be kidding me!!! LOLOLOL That is the funniest thing I've ever heard!

KendraDee13 · January 2010

Alison5437:
My MIL actually asked me if she could pull the baby out of my vaj jay. I literally almost fell over, I actually started laughing, but her face told me she wasn't joking.
But to anser your question I won't have her in there. Probably just my hubby and maybe my mom

You've got to be kidding me!!! LOLOLOL That is the funniest thing I've ever heard! I would have died if my MIL asked me that!!

ColieJ · January 2010

la79al:
There is no way my MIL would ever be in the delivery room. Ask your husband if he would mind being naked and vulnerable in front of your father.

LMFAO... that was a good one.

OP- no way my MIL would get in the room. There is just no way.

sweetadventure · January 2010

Alison5437:
My MIL actually asked me if she could pull the baby out of my vaj jay. I literally almost fell over, I actually started laughing, but her face told me she wasn't joking.

But to anser your question I won't have her in there. Probably just my hubby and maybe my mom

seriously? oh my goodness! why would she think that that is okay??

mrs.a.butler · January 2010

Laroogirl:
With DS, the delivery room was like a party. My mom, 2 sisters, MIL and DH were all in the room. With this baby, DH has said he wants it to just be us. I don't care. I am sure they will all be in the room as soon after as I will let them.

This for me. Except with me, I had my mom, MIL, 2 sisters, SIL, bff, and DH in there. I gave in to dh about having MIL in there. And MIL wouldn't be in there without SIL, so when I was about ready to push I said I could really care less who was in there.

This time, me and DH have talked and both of us only want me and him in there. No one else. It is a very intimate experience and we want to be with our baby first, before others start "let me hold him/her" and annoy the crap out of me!

cstyles · January 2010

My MIL drives us crazy, she was in the room when my SIL had both her kids, but this won't be happening with me. I hope she won't even be in the same zip code when I'm delivering. I want to go all natural and I'm worried what I'd say to her while I was in all that pain. What I think is odd is my hubby wants my mom to be in the room, but I want it to be just us. I have had a lot of health problems over the past 8 years and I think he has just gotten use to being on a team with my mom when it comes to supporting me through pain. The plan for now (and I'm only 7 weeks, so it will change I'm sure) is my mom will be with us during the delivery, but will step out as soon as the baby comes to give me and the hubby time to bond with the baby alone.

winter-shock · January 2010

Alison5437:
My MIL actually asked me if she could pull the baby out of my vaj jay. I literally almost fell over, I actually started laughing, but her face told me she wasn't joking.

But to anser your question I won't have her in there. Probably just my hubby and maybe my mom

OH please tell me your lying!! That just crosses so many lines!

Tassie06 · January 2010

no way in hell i'd want my MIL in there. nothing really against her, but we're not close. im having my DH & my mom in there with me. i think for the delivery its compleatly up to the one who's pregnant. so tell you DH that you would rather feel more compforable having your mother in there then his.

MyLittleSweetPea · January 2010

la79al:
There is no way my MIL would ever be in the delivery room. Ask your husband if he would mind being naked and vulnerable in front of your father.

WONDERFUL!

wifeyvana · January 2010

Heck no, but mainly because she is so negative and she would stress me out!

Unknown · January 2010

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bethey304 · January 2010

is it bad that I only want med staff in there?

I really don't want people seeing me that way AT ALL....

cherylanne430 · January 2010

No Way!

emkeegan · January 2010

Ugh - I agree with the eating hot lava comment. no way no how would my MIL be allowed in the delivery room. I don't even want her coming to the hospital afterwards!

AEOW13 · January 2010

my MIL will absolutely not be in the delivery room w. me... not even for a second! The only people allowed in will be my mother and my hubby. Im a hugeeeee mamas girl so she has 2 be there bc ill lose my mind or possibly severely hurt my hubby! lolz He has the tendency to talk first n think last. My grandma wants to be there too but all I need if for her to start choking or somthing and ill lose my lunch. (its a nasty ive been smoking for the last 60 yrs cough... yuck)

If you want her there then by all means invite her in but if not put your foot down! this is your moment and you have to be comfortable, even if it means ur DH being upset... hell get over it as soon as that baby starts comming...

AEOW13 · January 2010

that is crazy!

im pretty sure I would have just walked away from her just to not say something really bad lolz

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