MIL in Delivery Room

Mrs.Ortega81409

Is any1 planning to have their MIL in the delivery room?  My husband wants his mother to be there but I am pretty sure I can only have 2 people with me.  I definitely want my mother there and don't mind his mother being there since it means a lot to my husband but I don't know what to do.  My husband got upset with me when I discussed it with my sister since she confirmed that they usually only allow 2 people.

Lovin Wife

Ask the doctor and hospital, they are all different.  It definitely wasn't my first choice to have my mom and my MIL there, but they were (under the circumstances) and the hospital asked if they wanted to stay, so you may be able to have more than 2.

K.a.T.e

My SIL had my MIL in her delivery room.  I don't plan on having her there.

 

la79al

There is no way my MIL would ever be in the delivery room.  Ask your husband if he would mind being naked and vulnerable in front of your father. 

august282005

Our rule, for everyone but medical care providers, is that if you weren't in the room when the baby was conceived, you don't need to be there when the baby is born.

CAMbaby10

I really only want DH in there. I would actually very much prefer NOT to have my mother or MIL in there.

aldyn

Only people that participated in the process of making my baby were allowed when I delivered my baby!  So, it was just DH and me.  I really, really didn't want anyone else there.  We'll do the same this time.

**Octoberbride09**

Two words.

Absolutely. Not.

There are things my MIL just should not see. My 'gina is one of them.

Shayna0182

I would just stand my ground and say absolutely no mil when you deliver.  Uhg, there is no way I would want mine in there, even if I could have more than 2 people.

KelzinBoston

I know to each their own, but there is NO WAY I'd want anyone but DH there. 

Dobie_Mama

No way, no how. 

LindseyJW

I love my MIL, but there is no way, even if she and DH were the last people on Earth or if they allowed 10,000,000 people in the room, that I would want her any where near me when I was in labor. No way at all. I would rather eat hot lava.

That said, you really should have the people YOU want there. Your husband isn't delivering a baby. You are. If you can only have 2 people and he is insisting that person number 2 be his mother and not yours, I would find that incredibly selfish and we would have to have a heart-to-heart about how this baby was going to come into the world.

MrsKR20

august282005:

Our rule, for everyone but medical care providers, is that if you weren't in the room when the baby was conceived, you don't need to be there when the baby is born.

 

Amen and Amen!!

CAMbaby10

august282005:

Our rule, for everyone but medical care providers, is that if you weren't in the room when the baby was conceived, you don't need to be there when the baby is born.

 

I like this!!!

eris1995

DH will be the only other person in the delivery room.  You are the one that's pushing a baby out - it should be up to you if you want MIL there or not.

Laroogirl

With DS, the delivery room was like a party.  My mom, 2 sisters, MIL and DH were all in the room.  With this baby, DH has said he wants it to just be us.  I don't care.  I am sure they will all be in the room as soon after as I will let them.

gymnst1013

Hells no!!  And I don't even have a MIL.  I also don't want my mother there.  I'm not good with people seeing me suffer.  DH and doctors.  That's.it.

le*506

I think this is honestly one time when your husband doesn't get a say, its all about what you want. If you want her there, more power to you for having an awesome relationship with your MIL, if you don't then just say "your mom can be in the waiting room and we'll get her in as soon as baby is here".

personally I went into an emergency situation with DS and I would have not been comfortable having my MIL in the room listening/seeing everything that happened, it was a bonding experience for DH and I and although I won't wish that situation on anyone, it was good for us as a couple.

Luvmyfirefighter04

well we told mil that should could be in the room with number 2, since my mom was in with DD. I told her the second she makes me mad or doesn't shut up(she has a problem with talking and talking never putting a sock in it) she is so far out the door. She knows not to piss me off. She has learned over the years and i hope she knows her place if I keep in the room.

Beth

celestej619

I'd prefer to only have my dh in there.

LCB34

I have to have a c-section so this is not even an issue anymore.

I was very worried that MIL would want to be in the DR but I didn't want her there.  So glad that crisis was avoided!

winter-shock

My DH and I discussed this and decided that for me I would not be comfortable with his mom being in there. He was totally ok with it. He even thought she would never expect to be in there so it is not an issue....so far!

FutureMrs.Brady

By the time it came down to it, I didn't give a crap who was in there as long as the baby would just get out of my vagina. I had my MIL, mom (for support), and DH in the room. I don't regret that decision. Now I'm just hoping to have my husband in the room again because he may be deploying. So I'm just going to count my blessings.

SLF143

This will be one of the questions I will ask my doctor at my 1st appt. However, if all works out, I would like my mom and MIL in the delivery room along with my husband. I think it is a personal choice and you need to decide what is most comfortable for you.

nd&ka

NEVER EVER would I even for one split second consider my MIL in the delivery room.  She is the type that would snap "under the blanket photos" and show them to her friends...no thanks.  It is still early but we have decided it will be DH & My mom--DH will most likely not be able to handle it (he cant even watch me give blood.)

 Anyhow...I would explain that your DH & your mom will best be able to help & comfort you at that time because lets face it...mom's just do that much better than MILs.

sandy02

Hell No

ougrad1

I would let my mom WAY before I'd let my MIL and I like her well enough.  I don't know if I could look my MIL in the eyes if she'd seen me like that-ew.

Alison5437

My MIL actually asked me if she could pull the baby out of my vaj jay. I literally almost fell over, I actually started laughing, but her face told me she wasn't joking.

But to anser your question I won't have her in there. Probably just my hubby and maybe my mom

ougrad1

la79al:

There is no way my MIL would ever be in the delivery room.  Ask your husband if he would mind being naked and vulnerable in front of your father. 

LMAO!  exactly la!

drewiekc

Hell no.  Likethe others have said, this one is YOUR choice, and YOUR choice alone.  Do not feel obligated to have his monther in there just because he wants it.  When he is spread eagle on the bed pushing a child out of his genitals, he can pick who gets to be in the room.

Personally, I will just be having DH and my doula aside from the medical staff.  Nobody else gets to be in the room at all while I'm in any stage of labor, or for 2 hours afterwards.  DH and I will need our bonding time with the baby, I'll need to get cleaned up, figure out nursing, etc.  They can just cool their heels in the waiting room.

nd&ka

Alison5437:

My MIL actually asked me if she could pull the baby out of my vaj jay. I literally almost fell over, I actually started laughing, but her face told me she wasn't joking.

 HOLY CRAP.  What did DH say to that one?

uklawgirl

I would talk to the birthing staff at the hospital and tell them that under no circumstances do you want her with you. Let them do the dirty work of keeping her out of the delivery room!

And the #1 concern should be your comfort level. The more stress you feel about extraneous things like who is there, the more stressful your delivery will be. So just say no!

As far as I am concerned, it will just be me and the DH. His family is overseas and mine live 10 hours away, so we will call them after the baby is already here.

ValAndRyan

OMG, no way in hell would I ever even consider having MIL in the delivery room! I would no way feel obligated to let DH have that choice at all.

kcoffey88

I do not have a good relationship with MIL. She would cause way to much stress when I need to focus on bringing a baby in the world... I would just do DH in the room with me, but he can't stand to see me in pain. Anytime I am sick or hurting he panics and thinks something is seriously wrong. I am really close with my mom and they get along so I want her to be there, not only for me, but also to remind him that it is completely natural and I will be fine. The only problem with this is he says it is not fair to his mom. He plays this with everything when it comes to the pregnancy... I personally do not care if it is fair or not, it is my vaj-jay that will be on display. (my mom will be respectful and stay by my head.) MIL thinks she will be taking pictures. I am relieved there is a 2 person rule, and I will request that it is followed.

laura&dan05

I'd tell your DH that your MIL is welcome in the delivery room as long as he doesn't mind your dad going with him to his next physical.  If only 2 people are allowed than you get to make the decision. 

I had my DH and mom in the room with me until it was time to start pushing then I asked my mom to leave.  As it turned out I ended up with a c/s and the only person allowed in was my DH.  When they were wheeling me out of the delivery room to the surgery area I saw my mom and MIL right outside the door and my dad was further down the hall (I don't know where my FIL was at that point) but they all got to stand right outside the door of the operating room.

pixy_stix

No way.  No how.

I asked dh what he thought, he gave me this look:     Heh, guess we're in agreement.

Dcubed

I had MIL in the delivery room for both pregnancies.  I was a little skeptical at first but when it got down to it she didn't see anything.  They had a blanket over me and my legs and I had a hospital gown on.  She held one of my knees and DH during the pushing.  I didn't find her intrusive on our bonding time (as the dr. was finishing me up with placenta etc. she checked out the baby).  It was actually a good thing as she was the extra person to take our family pictures )  I guess at that point for me it was no longer a va-jayjay to where I didn't want anyone looking (though like I said she didn't see anything or stare me down - basically she stayed near my head).

kg_08

if they only allow 2 people, your DH can't be that upset that you would want your mom instead of his. you're the one with your parts hanging out everywhere. he should be more understanding.

EMWindy

My DH will be the only person in the room during pushing (other than doctors/nurses).   That's what we did last time.   I was pretty firm beforehand that my DH would be the only person in the room during the entire labor, but I caved on that during labor.  My mom came in the room so my DH could take a breather to get lunch, a drink or give family updates.

My friend actually had her mom, MIL, two sisters, her dad and her DH in the room for her 1st delivery.    And there are pictures taken by her MIL that are pretty ugly and not fit to be seen by anyone!   She will only have her DH there next time - she learned her lesson, lol.

trennad

With DS i was allowed 3 people in the room and I let my MIL in. She stayed by my head and never got below my shoulders... once i was pushing i didnt really notice what was going on lol i just wanted my baby!

jennifer_h_rn

Alison5437:

My MIL actually asked me if she could pull the baby out of my vaj jay. I literally almost fell over, I actually started laughing, but her face told me she wasn't joking.

Whaaaat?  That's just an outrageous request!  lol

I decided I don't even want to tell anyone when I go into labor, that way no one will be clamoring to get into the room.  They will find out once we're ready for visitors.