Curiosity

robinsokj · December 2009

When there isnt a SINGLE person who agrees with me I take it as a sign that perhaps I'm in the wrong...OP, I think you need to get a hint

TripMomma · December 2009

macchiatto:

I guess until your everyday life becomes a "fascination" to countless others, who then make that everyday life more difficult with all their gawking, interruptions, very repetitive comments and intrusive questions, you'll never get it.

A fricking MEN!!!

SNL0605 · December 2009

robinsokj:
When there isnt a SINGLE person who agrees with me I take it as a sign that perhaps I'm in the wrong...OP, I think you need to get a hint

THIS!

SCOOTER · December 2009

miketaylor:
macchiatto:

So you already knew the answer to your question ...

I guess until your everyday life becomes a "fascination" to countless others, who then make that everyday life more difficult with all their gawking, interruptions, very repetitive comments and intrusive questions, you'll never get it.

Guess not, but I still think it would be a great life to have.

Oh for the love of Pete.

Telling MOMs that we should be blessed because we're so fascinating for carrying more than one baby. Is that what you're telling us to do? Seriously?

jasonlovessara · December 2009

I think we all need to stop responding... clearly she is an idiot

macchiatto · December 2009

robinsokj:
When there isnt a SINGLE person who agrees with me I take it as a sign that perhaps I'm in the wrong...OP, I think you need to get a hint

LOL
I love you!

Mrs.McJeep · December 2009

robinsokj:
When there isnt a SINGLE person who agrees with me I take it as a sign that perhaps I'm in the wrong...OP, I think you need to get a hint

this!

Oh and my twins are result of fertility drugs and I think even when you know it's a possibility you are still shocked!

SNL0605 · December 2009

Here I will help you

Dear MoMs of the Bump

I was wrong for sticking my nose in places where it doesn't belong. I didn't realize, because I hadnt taken the time to GOOGLE that multiple pregnancies are high risk. I should NEVER have said it would be 'fun" and that I am facinated with it, especially given the previously mentioned failed research. I never stopped and thought that there were many complications that go along with multiples....and that a large portion of you probably struggled to even get pregnant. I am a complete dumb a$$ for continuing this conversation and only making myself look more and more ignorant. I will leave you alone to your multiples. I hope that you can forgive me for being so nosey.

Sincerely, Miketaylor

miketaylor · December 2009

SNL0605:

Here I will help you

Dear MoMs of the Bump

I was wrong for sticking my nose in places where it doesn't belong. I didn't realize, because I hadnt taken the time to GOOGLE that multiple pregnancies are high risk. I should NEVER have said it would be 'fun" and that I am facinated with it, especially given the previously mentioned failed research. I never stopped and thought that there were many complications that go along with multiples....and that a large portion of you probably struggled to even get pregnant. I am a complete dumb a$$ for continuing this conversation and only making myself look more and more ignorant. I will leave you alone to your multiples. I hope that you can forgive me for being so nosey.

Sincerely, Miketaylor

Whatever makes you feel better.

gumiberg · December 2009

huh, I am personally fascinated by my own twins every day, LOL.

i am not offended OP, but we get asked a lot of questions here and IRL...it does get a tad old.

i do think my twins are fun. i wouldnt trade them for a singleton no matter what.

lajolla09.30.06 · December 2009

I regret ever responding to this post in the first place.

clearly you just don't get it. if you want to see how "fun" it is you're welcome to come hang out at my house when our double teething double flu (because if one gets sick they both do) "extra fun" days are going on. I wish you could have been here for the double newborn days.

miketaylor · December 2009

lajolla09.30.06:

I regret ever responding to this post in the first place.

clearly you just don't get it. if you want to see how "fun" it is you're welcome to come hang out at my house when our double teething double flu (because if one gets sick they both do) "extra fun" days are going on. I wish you could have been here for the double newborn days.

But that is just it. You are focusing on all the bad stuff, which I am sure is hard and nerve racking, but your kids are obviously beautiful and look very happy from your profile pic. Are they never any fun? Do you not get any enjoyment? Do they not have a special bond with each other that is just amazing?

boshi799 · December 2009

Am I the only mom of multiples that is not offended by this post? I think it is nice that people are interested and facinsated with multiples - everyone should be - it is so special. And my babies are almost 5 months old and they are tons of fun! Yes, the first 3 months were beyond hard, and it is still hard, but it is double the fun and love. When they notice eachother and start laughing at eachother there is nothing better. I can see why people would want multiples, even though they do not know how much work it is and how scary the pregnancy can be. I know I wanted twins and I think it is wonderful!!! So I have no issue with this post.

SoldiersGreenBean · December 2009

miketaylor:
fallbride110406:
miketaylor:

Ummm, I never asked for empathy? This is getting ridiculous. Why are all of you so miserable? Your pregnancies might be difficult and complicated and risky, but you still have so much to be thankful for. There are moms of single babies too that get put on bedrest, have m/c, have babies that go to the NICU and tons of other things that happen. Be happy for what you have. Count your blessings. I Wish the best to all of you.

And there's the miserable card.

-waits patiently for bitter, I feel bad for your husbands/kids/families/neighbors/distant cousin twice removed, you're just a hater, etc.-

Well, do you not believe that you are blessed with more than one child?

No, I don't.

My husband is deploying for 12 months right as the babies are born. That's assuming that I can make it to 36 weeks. There's a huge risk that they'll be preemies, and then I'll have to handle the NICU by myself as well.

Add to that the 2 year old I have to take care of, and NO, I don't feel blessed. I'm scared to death about everything that could and will happen over the next 2 years.

Please stop making assumptions about what life with more than one is like.

miketaylor · December 2009

SoldiersGreenBean:
miketaylor:
fallbride110406:
miketaylor:

Ummm, I never asked for empathy? This is getting ridiculous. Why are all of you so miserable? Your pregnancies might be difficult and complicated and risky, but you still have so much to be thankful for. There are moms of single babies too that get put on bedrest, have m/c, have babies that go to the NICU and tons of other things that happen. Be happy for what you have. Count your blessings. I Wish the best to all of you.

And there's the miserable card.

-waits patiently for bitter, I feel bad for your husbands/kids/families/neighbors/distant cousin twice removed, you're just a hater, etc.-

Well, do you not believe that you are blessed with more than one child?

No, I don't.

My husband is deploying for 12 months right as the babies are born. That's assuming that I can make it to 36 weeks. There's a huge risk that they'll be preemies, and then I'll have to handle the NICU by myself as well.

Add to that the 2 year old I have to take care of, and NO, I don't feel blessed. I'm scared to death about everything that could and will happen over the next 2 years.

Please stop making assumptions about what life with more than one is like.

That is why I asked the question. I wish the best to you and your family.

miketaylor · December 2009

boshi799:
Am I the only mom of multiples that is not offended by this post? I think it is nice that people are interested and facinsated with multiples - everyone should be - it is so special. And my babies are almost 5 months old and they are tons of fun! Yes, the first 3 months were beyond hard, and it is still hard, but it is double the fun and love. When they notice eachother and start laughing at eachother there is nothing better. I can see why people would want multiples, even though they do not know how much work it is and how scary the pregnancy can be. I know I wanted twins and I think it is wonderful!!! So I have no issue with this post.

I think that this is awesome. They will bond in such a special way forever!!!!! Big Smile

RobynK · December 2009

Lady (or man based on your screen name) you need to go away, you are digging yourself into a hole.

Your original question was were we shocked when we learned we were having multiples.
1. about 50% of the ladies on here did fertility treatments and knew they were at risk of multiples. Just having it work is a shock, let alone seeing more than one heartbeat.
2. The other 50% didn't use fertility treatments. I'm sure some weren't extremely shocked because they knew they had a history of multiples in their family and new it was a possibility -- but they were still shocked. The remainder likely have identicals which is a fluke and I'm sure they were even more shocked to see two babies because they had no history of multiples in their families and they were not doing fertility treatment.

So now your original quesiton has been answered -- EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US was shocked in some way/shape/form when we learned we were expecting more than one baby.

I'm not sure why our shock of finding out has anything to do with your pregnancy. You are fishing for a reason to be pg with twins because you think it might be fun. It is fun, we love our kids. It's also very, very, very hard and many of us have lost children because our "fun" multiples pg was really difficult. Many of us lost a baby or more early on. Many of us have lost at child or more after birth.

Every day in the life of multiples is shocking in some form.

Now that it's answered will you please realize you are not welcome here and just GO THE FRICK AWAY?!?!?!

miketaylor · December 2009

robynk.

thank you for finally answering my question with your opinion. I appreciate it. To clarify: Am I fishing for a reason to be pregnant with twins? UMMMMM, No. First of all- you either are or aren't , and nothing I can do will change that. Would I be thrilled if i found out I was? Yes, if i was told I was having twins- i would be over the moon with happiness- but just as my original post stated- that is highly unlikely. And no, I will not go away just becasue you so rudely asked me to. Even though you might not like the questions that I have asked, i feel that I have been respectful to all of you. I am sorry that you feel like you are asked these things too much. That is the life you have. People will ask you and your children questions for the rest of your lives. There is no need to get angry about it.

robinsokj · December 2009

miketaylor:
robynk.

thank you for finally answering my question with your opinion. I appreciate it. To clarify: Am I fishing for a reason to be pregnant with twins? UMMMMM, No. First of all- you either are or aren't , and nothing I can do will change that. Would I be thrilled if i found out I was? Yes, if i was told I was having twins- i would be over the moon with happiness- but just as my original post stated- that is highly unlikely. And no, I will not go away just becasue you so rudely asked me to. Even though you might not like the questions that I have asked, i feel that I have been respectful to all of you. I am sorry that you feel like you are asked these things too much. That is the life you have. People will ask you and your children questions for the rest of your lives. There is no need to get angry about it.

I wasnt in the least bit offended by your original post, but then you kept throwing out the angry card and just keep digging yourself in further. At this point it seems like the only reason youre here is to get a rise out of people and have gone past the point of pure curiosity.

macchiatto · December 2009

robinsokj:
I wasnt in the least bit offended by your original post, but then you kept throwing out the angry card and just keep digging yourself in further. At this point it seems like the only reason youre here is to get a rise out of people and have gone past the point of pure curiosity.

Agreed. Your original post I could chalk up to ignorance. But even after people shared their opinions and experiences and explained their reaction to your assumption, you kept ignoring or arguing with the very valid points the MoMs on here were making. (Such as that this board is for moms of multiples, not for curious, fascinated lurkers. :P ) If you want to be over the moon if told that you and your children are at high risk (not normal risk; HIGH risk) for a wide variety of complications, serious long-term conditions, miscarriage and death, fine. We do make the most of the hand we've been dealt and appreciate the joys while dealing with the challenges. Most people who don't have multiples tend to assume it must be either WONDERFUL or TERRIBLE--we either get "Oh how FUN to have twins!" or "I'd shoot myself if I had twins." So if someone posts (or talks to us) with a view on one extreme, we may try to balance their view by explaining the other side of the coin. If you'd rather ignore everything those with experience have to say and live on in your ignorance, go for it. But be aware your attempts to justify yourself just aren't working.

miketaylor · December 2009

robinsokj:
miketaylor:

robynk.

thank you for finally answering my question with your opinion. I appreciate it. To clarify: Am I fishing for a reason to be pregnant with twins? UMMMMM, No. First of all- you either are or aren't , and nothing I can do will change that. Would I be thrilled if i found out I was? Yes, if i was told I was having twins- i would be over the moon with happiness- but just as my original post stated- that is highly unlikely. And no, I will not go away just becasue you so rudely asked me to. Even though you might not like the questions that I have asked, i feel that I have been respectful to all of you. I am sorry that you feel like you are asked these things too much. That is the life you have. People will ask you and your children questions for the rest of your lives. There is no need to get angry about it.

I wasnt in the least bit offended by your original post, but then you kept throwing out the angry card and just keep digging yourself in further. At this point it seems like the only reason youre here is to get a rise out of people and have gone past the point of pure curiosity.

And the 3rd or 4th response down was flaming me which shocked me!! I have been trying to understand why the only responses I was getting were about how basically being a mom of multiples was horrible. I can not wrap my mind around that. Sorry. I could never say that about my kids. I am sure that is not how it was meant, but how it came off.

SNL0605 · December 2009

OMG just GO AWAY!

SNL0605 · December 2009

miketaylor · December 2009

macchiatto:
robinsokj:

I wasnt in the least bit offended by your original post, but then you kept throwing out the angry card and just keep digging yourself in further. At this point it seems like the only reason youre here is to get a rise out of people and have gone past the point of pure curiosity.

Agreed. Your original post I could chalk up to ignorance. But even after people shared their opinions and experiences and explained their reaction to your assumption, you kept ignoring or arguing with the very valid points the MoMs on here were making. (Such as that this board is for moms of multiples, not for curious, fascinated lurkers. :P ) If you want to be over the moon if told that you and your children are at high risk (not normal risk; HIGH risk) for a wide variety of complications, serious long-term conditions, miscarriage and death, fine. We do make the most of the hand we've been dealt and appreciate the joys while dealing with the challenges. Most people who don't have multiples tend to assume it must be either WONDERFUL or TERRIBLE--we either get "Oh how FUN to have twins!" or "I'd shoot myself if I had twins." So if someone posts (or talks to us) with a view on one extreme, we may try to balance their view by explaining the other side of the coin. If you'd rather ignore everything those with experience have to say and live on in your ignorance, go for it. But be aware your attempts to justify yourself just aren't working.

But that is what is the kicker. Why was my original post ignorant? Just because I said something that you did not like or agree with? You need to understand that most people that think having multiples would be fun, do not live in a fantasy land and understand that complications do exist. I have a distant friend that I have connected with on facebook that just found out that she is having twins and is thrilled!! She is so looking forward to how much fun it will be. She is also a L&D nurse, so not "ignorant" to complications. I got to thinking how much fun she was going to have (along with hard work), and how much fun I think it would be.

miketaylor · December 2009

SNL0605.

You are mature beyond your years.

macchiatto · December 2009

miketaylor:
But that is what is the kicker. Why was my original post ignorant? Just because I said something that you did not like or agree with? You need to understand that most people that think having multiples would be fun, do not live in a fantasy land and understand that complications do exist. I have a distant friend that I have connected with on facebook that just found out that she is having twins and is thrilled!! She is so looking forward to how much fun it will be. She is also a L&D nurse, so not "ignorant" to complications. I got to thinking how much fun she was going to have (along with hard work), and how much fun I think it would be.

You are hopeless. Completely incapable of understanding other people's points of view, admitting when you are wrong, comprehending logic, or recognizing when you sound like an idiot.

I officially give up on you, miketaylor.

miketaylor · December 2009

macchiatto:
miketaylor:

But that is what is the kicker. Why was my original post ignorant? Just because I said something that you did not like or agree with? You need to understand that most people that think having multiples would be fun, do not live in a fantasy land and understand that complications do exist. I have a distant friend that I have connected with on facebook that just found out that she is having twins and is thrilled!! She is so looking forward to how much fun it will be. She is also a L&D nurse, so not "ignorant" to complications. I got to thinking how much fun she was going to have (along with hard work), and how much fun I think it would be.

You are hopeless. Completely incapable of understanding other people's points of view, admitting when you are wrong, comprehending logic, or recognizing when you sound like an idiot.

I officially give up on you, miketaylor.

OK

pea-kay · December 2009

what about us triplet mamas? geez. we always get left out.

oct72006bride · December 2009

Feeling "Blessed" and having "Fun" are entirely different things. Having multiples is not all puppies and rainbows.

Do I love my children? YES.

Was I shocked it was twins? YES.

Is it fun that being pregnant with twins caused my water to break at 24 weeks and I could only hold off delivering for 3 more days? NO.

Is it fun that my son died 8 days after he was born and my daughter is fighting for her life in the NICU? NO.

So, NO, it is not "FUN" for me.

I'm sorry, go somewhere where you have something meaningful to contribute.

SNL0605 · December 2009

MrsLee04:
pea-kay:
what about us triplet mamas? geez. we always get left out.

You're a special kind of freak show, especially since yours are identical! I was thinking we should set up your very own board and let the lurkers just come in and ask you questions. We could sell tickets, like the circus!

Ha!

Temp159135562506975 · December 2009

oct72006bride:

Feeling "Blessed" and having "Fun" are entirely different things. Having multiples is not all puppies and rainbows.

Do I love my children? YES.

Was I shocked it was twins? YES.

Is it fun that being pregnant with twins caused my water to break at 24 weeks and I could only hold off delivering for 3 more days? NO.

Is it fun that my son died 8 days after he was born and my daughter is fighting for her life in the NICU? NO.

So, NO, it is not "FUN" for me.

I'm sorry, go somewhere where you have something meaningful to contribute.

(((HUGS)))

robinsokj · December 2009

Goldie_Locks_5:
oct72006bride:

Feeling "Blessed" and having "Fun" are entirely different things. Having multiples is not all puppies and rainbows.

Do I love my children? YES.

Was I shocked it was twins? YES.

Is it fun that being pregnant with twins caused my water to break at 24 weeks and I could only hold off delivering for 3 more days? NO.

Is it fun that my son died 8 days after he was born and my daughter is fighting for her life in the NICU? NO.

So, NO, it is not "FUN" for me.

I'm sorry, go somewhere where you have something meaningful to contribute.

(((HUGS)))

Ditto

mrskimmieD · December 2009

miketaylor:
But that is just it. You are focusing on all the bad stuff, which I am sure is hard and nerve racking, but your kids are obviously beautiful and look very happy from your profile pic. Are they never any fun? Do you not get any enjoyment? Do they not have a special bond with each other that is just amazing?

You just need to go away. Go back and troll some other boards.

Do you have twins? NO. Do you know what it is like to try and be on a board where you want to support other mom's who are experiencing the special challenge's that come along with multiples but then have to be bothered sifting through posts from moron's who want to know if people were surprised to find out they were having more then one baby? NO.

Before you tell someone they are focusing on the negative part of being doubly blessed, you should shut up/stop typing and THINK. IMAGINE some of the challenges that some of the ladies shared with you and then try and magine how irritating it is to have someone come on the board asking silly questions about being surprised and such when all you want to do is get some advice or support on how to handle two newborns who are screaming at the same time and want to be held/fed/changed, etc...

So please do us all a favor and GO AWAY! Yes every single person on this board was suprised when they found it was twins regardless of undergoing fertility treatments or having twins run in their family. It is normal to have one baby at a time not two or more so to find out you have more then one on the way is a surprise. Your question has been answered and now you can leave.

macchiatto · December 2009

oct72006bride:
Feeling "Blessed" and having "Fun" are entirely different things. Having multiples is not all puppies and rainbows.
Do I love my children? YES.
Was I shocked it was twins? YES.
Is it fun that being pregnant with twins caused my water to break at 24 weeks and I could only hold off delivering for 3 more days? NO.
Is it fun that my son died 8 days after he was born and my daughter is fighting for her life in the NICU? NO.
So, NO, it is not "FUN" for me.
I'm sorry, go somewhere where you have something meaningful to contribute.

(((((HUGS)))))

TheNextWest · December 2009

I wasn't offended either, but I obviously have a different experience than almost everyone else that responded I would assume...

I can't speak for the scary part of being pregnant with multiples, bc I haven't experienced that, but I know I was sure shocked when we were asked to parent twins out of nowhere and then found out they were coming home a week later! We only had 9 days to prepare for two babies and we had nothing, not even a house! lol. Fortunately, our babies had no health problems, so for us... it has been mostly fun honestly. HARD, for me especially, bc my H is deployed now and was gone for six months right after they came home too so I've pretty much done this on my own for most of their life... but still, a LOT of fun too

mrs.chrisb · December 2009

My sons are 3 now and I consider myself one of the moms with older multipes on this board and on the private board. But boy, I will never, ever remember how hard it was to bring home my babies and how even harder it was for the next few months.,

The thing is, even if you are a labor and delivery nurse or even a midwife or an OB, you will never 'get it' until you take home your multiples.

I brought my son Tony and Nate home after a 2 week long NICU stay. Try to imagine, if you will, driving away on the highway every night, looking at the huge, monstrous medical building your babies are sleeping in. Wondering if they will consider the nurses their mothers before they consider you. Hating yourself for not carrying them longer. True this can occur with a singleton, but is is more common with multiples.

I did not consider your post offensive at first. The part that started getting on my last nerve is the know it all kind of 'tude you started employing like "I'm not saying it's not hard, I have a child." I'm sure your baby is beautiful. I hate to say this, but until you have your twins/triplets, you just have no idea.

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