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Multiples
Curiosity
Hello!!!
I am just lurking and reading and am amazed at all of you and your multiples!!! I have always thought that multiples would be so much fun to have. I am just over 6 weeks with our second baby (or babies? eek!!). How many of you found out you were having multiples and it was a total shocker? I can not imagine what my reaction would be if my doc told me multiples..even though to my knowledge it is highly unlikely.
I wish all of you happy, healthy pregnancies and happy healthy little ones!!!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Curiosity
I know you don't mean any harm by your comments but I'd watch out saying things like "it would be so fun" around here. Multiple pregnancies are very dangerous for both the mom and babies, and caring for multiples is more work than you can even imagine. Comments like yours might not be received with an entirely friendly attitude around here
Good luck with your pregnancy
Ditto. Many of us have healthy twins/triplets and had OK pregnancies... but many have lost multiples during pregnancy and after, been on bedrest for months on end, and many babies who are twins/triplets have health problems that the moms deal with daily. None of us would change our situations- we love our kids- but "so much fun" just isn't cool to throw around.
To answer your question, no shock for us since we transferred 2 embryos
.
And while pp's have good points, most ppl (you're not alone, don't worry) do think having multiples would 'fun' & I'd bet many of the women on here thought that before having them too... and some even still probably do, which is great!!! It's just a lot of work/stress, esp in the beginning, & can be very risky.
I am not a stranger to a newborn and how much work it is, I am expecting our second child. I can only imagine how hard it would be with 2, but I do not think that the term "fun" is derogatory in any way. Every pregnancy has risks, and multiples make it more complicated. I believe that goes without saying. I also think that to be blessed with 2 babies would be fun, I am sorry if that offends you.
"What the moms here need to realize is that people that come on here and ask questions simply have a want to know information and no other outlet to receive it."
GOOGLE!
Why don't you try living with a family that has newborn multiples and see how much "fun" it really is. I had a horrible pregnancy, my one daughter is at the doctor every week, and my other daughter since birth has had weight gain issues. All because they were born early. Yeah, a lot of freaking fun! I don't mind people asking questions about my pregnancy, but it irritates me when people say how much fun it would be.
We are here for support from each other, not to be freak shows for those that think multiples would be fun and fish for reasons to think they might have them.
You DO have another outlet to receive information -- try Google or Bing. And I'm sorry but when people ask you about your "fun" multiples every day on a chat board, 1-2x per grocery store visit, 3-4x per mall visit, 1-2x per doctor visit sitting in the waiting room IT GETS REALLY FRICKIN' OLD. It's not you, it the collection. So step back and think about us too, you mean no offense but neither did the 8 other people that asked me today.
seriously? we're fascinating? and you don't think it's offensive to say that... implying that we're some sort of entertainment for you? just because j&k +8 wants to be your entertainment doesn't mean we all want to. we're just trying to be a support group for other women like ourselves, not to be a good read for lurkers.
Nope! I actually thought, "I really hope I don't have multiples! That would be so hard. I really would love to have ONE baby at a time to bond with." Seriously!
OP: Please read the board description. It says, "Twins, triplets or more? This is the board for you!" Note that it does NOT say, "Curious about people who have twins, triplets or more? This is the board for you!" As the others have said, you can google, read books about twins, etc., to satisfy your curiosity.
LOL - good point- love it
OP- you can be defensive - that's fine- but do not try to tell US how to feel.... we're the ones dealing with this every minute of our lives. I think the other women explained it pretty well.
Well, everyone is a bit touchy. I can google if I want, but that does not tell me anything about the question I originally asked all of you which was, "were you shocked? reaction?. If you do not want to bea asked questions about your experiences on a public message board, I suggest that you convert to a private email loop. You can get mad all that you want but the questions will keep coming. I stand by what I have said. You all are acting like I asked the best way to become the next octomom becasue I want to make millions. Please give some people that have questions some credit.
Good luck with your pregnancies and your beautiful little ones.
Learn to follow a discussion. This is why people were ticked at you, not because you asked if any of us were surprised when we saw 2+ babies on an ultrasound. People said this and reiterated it to you multiple times throughout this post. Either you're so upset that you didn't get the reaction you wanted that you're not even reading responses or you just don't care. Either way, you're not going to win any friends over here at this point I don't think.
And I said numerous times that although it would be hard, I still believe that it would be fun. Everyone has their opinions.
Aaand I think having one baby at a time would be easy. Even boring. You said you've been through the NB stage and you know how hard it is. Seriously? You think you're going to get a lick of empathy from those of us trying to split our love, comfort, attention and even breasts with TWO infants? You have no idea what hard is.
One baby : boring :: Twins : facinating
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
Ummm, I never asked for empathy? This is getting ridiculous. Why are all of you so miserable? Your pregnancies might be difficult and complicated and risky, but you still have so much to be thankful for. There are moms of single babies too that get put on bedrest, have m/c, have babies that go to the NICU and tons of other things that happen. Be happy for what you have. Count your blessings. I Wish the best to all of you.
Speaking of ridiculous, you have a remarkable talent for missing the point.
And re: "this is a public board so random people are still going to come by." Sure. We stay on a public board so that new MoMs can find us. Again, read the board description. This board is not for you and we do not owe you anything. We can't stop you from lurking but we can also let you know that we are not here for your entertainment and to "fascinate" you. We can explain to you what it's like to get the same comments and questions over and over and over and over when we already "have our hands full" (as is pointed out to us 37 times a day) and are simply trying to run an errand. We can explain to you why your comments rubbed us the wrong way. If you persist in defending yourself and not trying to understand what we are saying and deciding that we're a bunch of miserable people, c'est la vie. We've done our part. The actual comprehension is up to you.
I hate the sense of entitlement that some lurkers have.
are you effing kidding me? You have no effing clue how high risk multiple pregnancies are....let alone NICU, preemies, growth, development, and sh!t even the cost! Be gone now!
I am still not understanding why it is a crime to be fascinated by the bodies ability to carry multiple babies.
were we shocked? WTF do you think? How would you respond? there is your answer!!!!!!
And there's the miserable card.
-waits patiently for bitter, I feel bad for your husbands/kids/families/neighbors/distant cousin twice removed, you're just a hater, etc.-
My understanding is that there are many multiples born as a result of IVF or fertility drugs. Obviously those families know that this can happen. There are also families that are expecting multiples wothout the use of any of this, maybe just family history? Those that have a strong history of fraternals might not be as surprised as others.
Well, do you not believe that you are blessed with more than one child?
next thing you know you are going to tell us that boy/girl twins are identical AND that DHs determine if twins happen or not.
Seriously save ME the headache from banging my head on the desk and leave.....while you still have a microscopic amount of dignity left
So you already knew the answer to your question ...
I guess until your everyday life becomes a "fascination" to countless others, who then make that everyday life more difficult with all their gawking, interruptions, very repetitive comments and intrusive questions, you'll never get it.
Just as blessed as those who have their "more than one child" one at a time.
Some could argue less blessed, since it equals less time with each child and a more difficult pregnancy and higher risk of death and a very wide variety of serious conditions and complications. Women on this board are taking care of children who have CP, torticollis, who have conditions requiring the use of feeding tubes, etc., etc. ... and some women on this board wish they were able to take care of children who they lost--all specifically as a result of being part of a multiple pregnancy. Children who would be healthy--and children who would be alive--if they had been the result of singleton pregnancies.
Guess not, but I still think it would be a great life to have.