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Northern California Babies
Toddler Tantrums
What do you do when you feel like you can't physically control them ?
Today at target, total tantrum cause he wanted to continue looking at the train set. He was in the shopping cart tied in but was flailing around to where I was scared he was going to hurt himself. I was almost at check out so I didn't want to leave without buying the stuff.
Then naptime, I had to put his pull up on him and he was kicking it off to where I was trying to pin him down, and then the hitting/kicking/screaming continued and it took WAY longer then it needed to. Which resulted in him falling asleep right away and me in tears after I put him down.................
how do you guys handle the tantrums ? It doesn't help being tired, and impatient and having my tummy in the way.
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Re: Toddler Tantrums
Hmmm - it's hard one. With the Target thing, I probably would have told him we can look until I count to 5 (want to help mommy count) and then we're going to walk away. We can look at it again when we come back....or maybe we can ask Santa for one...what color do you want? Do you want a long one/short one, etc. (Might not be feasible though).
For the diaper at home....I give us both a break if he won't do it now. If I have enough patience, I'll ask him why he doesn't want to put it on...and then we negotiate. After a few minutes if he won't cooperate, I threaten lock down mode - which he hates. If he still doesn't want to cooperate, lockdown mode becomes inevitable. He screams and cries...I get angry...and we both go upstairs grouchy. We pick out a book and read and then he's magically better. This usually only happens when he's tired.
Good luck - it's HARD!
Like D, when out and about, we count and give warnings if he doesn't want to go. And if he really doesn't want to cooperate, we physically move him. But thankfully, that rarely happens.
If DS is overtired, all bets are off and everything becomes a tantrum. Oh how I hate those days!
For the pull-up, I would probably remind him that we do this every day, and in order to move on to X, that he wants to do, we have to do this first. I use this a lot lately as C never wants to do the first diaper change of the day and get dressed. But I remind him that we do this every single day, and that in order to go upstairs to play, he has to get a new diaper and get dressed. Period. No please, etc. from me, it isn't a favor, it is required.
Hope your day gets better.
Yeah with the train thing I gave him a 2 minute warning, then a 1 minute. Then I started talking about how he'll need to ask Santa for one when he sees him, blah blah blah. But from that point on it was meltdown mode........
I think its just one of those days
((hugs)) those days are so tough.
Obviously, Jenna is quite a bit younger than C, but when she's just melting down, I can't reason with her. Often, the thing that works best for her is to ignore her. If she is strapped into the seat, I turn my back to the cart (so she's staring at my back, I stay within reach in case she tries to thrash out of the cart or stand up, that hasn't happened yet). Within roughly 10 seconds she sees that it's not working and calms back down enough for me to distract her with something else or to high tail it out of there.
I've done the same thing with diaper changes. (standing with my back to her, my hand on her behind my back). I know once she gets past a certain point, there's no reasoning, counting or talking to her... she's beyond listening.
I hope things go better after he wakes up from his nap !
I think sometimes there is no changing the course. So hard when your trying all you can to get their mind off it. D hasn't had a full on in public one yet, I am sure it is coming. We get them the most when we get home and get out of the car because he doesn't want to be home. Getting him out of the carseat is a struggle, then in the house, then if I need him to do anything right after forget it. 40 lbs of will is hard to battle against, so like D I give us a break. I would not have tried the nap or the diaper right then. I would have let him know I understand he's upset, and give him 5 minutes to cool off. It usually works, if it does not it ends up the way you handled it.. HUGS.
OOH! Big hugs. I have no advice since we're going through the same thing.
Been there. Totally sucks all around. And sucks about 3,000 times more when you are pregnant to boot. I've been dealing with the same thing with Alex, typically I hold him tight and do a kind of "Time in" (not in Target but like the pull up example) but sometimes he kicks and pushes and it worries me being pg having that physical proximity to him when he's in a state because he just doesn't understand.
You are not alone, my friend. Hopefully after naptime Mr. Sunshine will return!
Ditto this! I can relate! One trick that is working well for me with Garrison is telling him the sequence of events that we will be doing. When we are getting ready for the day he loves to know exactly what we will be doing. I usually tell him the first 3 events of the day. So lets say event 1 is Target when we are driving there. I tell him ok we are going to Target and we need diapers, rain boots, and soap. Can you help mommy remember all those things? So when we pass the toys and he wants to look or we are shopping in the toy section or whatever I refocus him when it's time to move on. I'll ask ok we got the diapers what else did mommy have to buy here? Sometimes I have to ask 5 times but that has been working pretty well for us lately. Garrison always walks in stores now so I ask him can he help me find it? Do you remember where in the store that is? Just making him part of the process. We say bye to the toy tell them see you next time trains! And move on. Again, this won't always work but is having a good 70% success rate right now!
Anna not a big tantrum thrower so my advice is limited, but when she decides to go full bore and I'm scared about safety I put her in her crib for a time out. I don't take out anything---although it's often thrown all over the room when I return---but sometimes the isolation for both of us is enough to de-escalate the problem. As for times in public, I take her into a bathroom until the fit is over.
Good luck M! Tantrums are tough.