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TTC After a Loss
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worried about losing again...

evolmonkeyevolmonkey
in TTC After a Loss

Hey everyone:

I really want to have a baby, but I am suddenly feeling anxious about trying again.  I had a m/c the day after my 33rd bday and a good friend died the day after that.  Crappy week.  I am finally getting a period after the D&C (almost 2 months later).  I am so excited to try for a baby but at the same time really scared that we might have problems again. We were told that it was a random chromosomal event/"missed m/c" (just took my body a long while to figure it out) and probably wouldn't be a problem.  I started to talk to my husband about how I feel, but he was trying to be supportive and said "we don't have to try now if you don't want to"...  but that's not what I want!  I am also super stressed with work until the end of the year and not sure if that will be a problem.

 Anyway, I don't know why I am writing - maybe I just want to tell somebody who knows how I feel.

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Re: worried about losing again...

  • priya&peterpriya&peter member
    i think we can all relate to how you feel.  trying again is scary, and being scared is normal.  it does get easier with time though.  my first cycle after my m/c i just couldn't imagine getting pg again so we took that cycle off.  by the next month though I felt ready and we jumped back into the game. 
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  • daphne814daphne814 member
    I totally understand what you're feeling.  I want nothing more that to be pg again, but at the same time, I know once it happens I'm going to be a nervous wreck!  I think that will be the case for anyone who gets pg after a loss.  Luckily we have a place like this to come to for support!  Sorry for your loss...

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  • missnessitamissnessita
    Im so sorry for your loss! I was in your place not too long ago but i m/c naturally. I think all of us have a part of us that is a little worried about m/c again. But I know for me at least I want to get PG again more than anything! So Its worth the risk for me. Its in God's hands not mine, So whats meant to be will be. I hope you make the decision thats best for you! :)
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  • lax15bsulax15bsu member

    I understand your fear. There have been so many times where, during the day, I was absolutely gung ho and ready to try again. And by the time night came and we were about to get it on... I chickened out. I can't tell you how many times that happened. Not every night - some nights it was fine. But it just seemed to creep up out of no where. I was just paralyzed by the thought of getting pg only to lose another baby.

    The only thing I can say with certainty is that it does get better over time. Gradually, and with many setbacks... But it gets better eventually.

    I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you stay around this board for a while. We all know what you're going through. And sometimes it helps to be able to talk through things with internet strangers, since not many people IRL really understand.

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  • LMichelleGLMichelleG member
    First off, I'm so sorry for your loss. I, like others, understand how you feel. It took DH and I over a year to get pg in the first place. I was devastated when I m/c, I was terrified to TTC again. Give yourself time, it does get better. I m/c in June and for the most part I'm doing MUCH MUCH better (with the bad days being much fewer and farther between). I too, am 33 and if I am able to get pg again, I will be at least 34 when we have our first child. It's scary to think about, but I try not to let fear get the best of me. Big hugs to you!
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  • evolmonkeyevolmonkey

    thanks ladies.  age is a part of it (and career) as much as I hate to admit.

    but regardless - I feel like we lost our first chance.  and I hope it wasn't our best chance, (genetically speaking).  no matter what, I know we can do it, I just hate not knowing when...

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