worried about losing again...

evolmonkey

Hey everyone:

I really want to have a baby, but I am suddenly feeling anxious about trying again.  I had a m/c the day after my 33rd bday and a good friend died the day after that.  Crappy week.  I am finally getting a period after the D&C (almost 2 months later).  I am so excited to try for a baby but at the same time really scared that we might have problems again. We were told that it was a random chromosomal event/"missed m/c" (just took my body a long while to figure it out) and probably wouldn't be a problem.  I started to talk to my husband about how I feel, but he was trying to be supportive and said "we don't have to try now if you don't want to"...  but that's not what I want!  I am also super stressed with work until the end of the year and not sure if that will be a problem.

 Anyway, I don't know why I am writing - maybe I just want to tell somebody who knows how I feel.

priya&peter

i think we can all relate to how you feel.  trying again is scary, and being scared is normal.  it does get easier with time though.  my first cycle after my m/c i just couldn't imagine getting pg again so we took that cycle off.  by the next month though I felt ready and we jumped back into the game. 

daphne814

I totally understand what you're feeling.  I want nothing more that to be pg again, but at the same time, I know once it happens I'm going to be a nervous wreck!  I think that will be the case for anyone who gets pg after a loss.  Luckily we have a place like this to come to for support!  Sorry for your loss...

missnessita

Im so sorry for your loss! I was in your place not too long ago but i m/c naturally. I think all of us have a part of us that is a little worried about m/c again. But I know for me at least I want to get PG again more than anything! So Its worth the risk for me. Its in God's hands not mine, So whats meant to be will be. I hope you make the decision thats best for you!

lax15bsu

I understand your fear. There have been so many times where, during the day, I was absolutely gung ho and ready to try again. And by the time night came and we were about to get it on... I chickened out. I can't tell you how many times that happened. Not every night - some nights it was fine. But it just seemed to creep up out of no where. I was just paralyzed by the thought of getting pg only to lose another baby.

The only thing I can say with certainty is that it does get better over time. Gradually, and with many setbacks... But it gets better eventually.

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you stay around this board for a while. We all know what you're going through. And sometimes it helps to be able to talk through things with internet strangers, since not many people IRL really understand.

LMichelleG

First off, I'm so sorry for your loss. I, like others, understand how you feel. It took DH and I over a year to get pg in the first place. I was devastated when I m/c, I was terrified to TTC again. Give yourself time, it does get better. I m/c in June and for the most part I'm doing MUCH MUCH better (with the bad days being much fewer and farther between). I too, am 33 and if I am able to get pg again, I will be at least 34 when we have our first child. It's scary to think about, but I try not to let fear get the best of me. Big hugs to you!

evolmonkey

thanks ladies.  age is a part of it (and career) as much as I hate to admit.

but regardless - I feel like we lost our first chance.  and I hope it wasn't our best chance, (genetically speaking).  no matter what, I know we can do it, I just hate not knowing when...