Here's my UO (this might get me in trouble with some posters)

RufflesRambo · October 2009

I'm sort of scared to post this! LOL

But I?m getting tired of all the pearl clutching and judging that goes on around here regarding people?s marriages.

?I would never allow that,? ?That would never fly at my house,? ?My DH would never?,? etc.

Oh I?m sorry, your marriage and your DH is perfect, nevermind me. Yes, you are right, it IS that easy, I?ll just tell him to stop doing xyz/start doing xyz and then everything will be just peachy. Thanks for the advice.

Sometimes people are just venting. And sometimes they are not venting at all and they still get these types of responses and it drives me even crazier!

FTR I'm not talking about constructive advice but more the, "Oh you must be THIS type of wife/mother."

::runs and hides::

Jettaky · October 2009

Thank you!! I totally agree

katydid2007 · October 2009

mamamoos · October 2009

Jettaky:
Thank you!! I totally agree

::nods::

102503Natalie · October 2009

Yeppers, it's a passive aggressive slap in the face to the original poster.

kgb1411 · October 2009

I love this post.

Connors10 · October 2009

mabst196 · October 2009

ITA and god forbid you vent about something frustrating in your life and don't do anything drastic about it. Sometimes you just want to vent.

Jeannie143 · October 2009

here! here!

BecauseICan · October 2009

If I've ever said 'that wouldn't fly in my house', then it also means that the opposite is true. I don't have any expectations for my husband that he doesn't have for me. That being said, our marriage is of course not perfect--I'm sure for every thing he does that annoys me, I probably do something that annoys him. We're all human. That's why marriage takes effort. It's not all just Barbie and Ken driving off to their dream house in their corvette, LOL.

And in regards to the "I'll just tell DH to stop doing xyz and he will..." LMAO. I've asked my DH to stop farting at the dinner table. A gazillion times. And...he still does it. But I also stil leave my water glasses on the nightstand.

Jessibell · October 2009

I agree. But, if you do get flamed, take a page from my book. I like to imagine that there is a silent majority agreeing with whatever I say

katrinah · October 2009

o2bme · October 2009

TMs1stBaby · October 2009

I have posted along these lines before. I never talk about my relationship on here. My DH is far from perfect, so am I, but we make our marriage work in our own way and I don't need the judgement from the folks on here. To be honest, I am glad that my DH and I don't agree on every single thing, I think it gives our household dimmension and shows our kiddos that there is more than one right answer to most of lives questions.

LaLaSweets · October 2009

*blondiem* · October 2009

Well, if you put it out there, you have to know that you are going to get the pearl clutchers, and the judgers and the flamers. I won't apologize for stating my opinion when people put that kind of stuff out there.

102503Natalie · October 2009

Jessibell:
I agree. But, if you do get flamed, take a page from my book. I like to imagine that there is a silent majority agreeing with whatever I say

Trust me. There is.

Cytina · October 2009

I agree with you Ruffles (as usual) and I

you!

LenoreS · October 2009

102503Natalie:
Yeppers, it's a passive aggressive slap in the face to the original poster.

No comment on the post, but I love your siggy picture-- how did you do this??!!!

Momma.Brown · October 2009

Yes ? Yes Yes

ETA: my possibly UO is that i think its terribly disrespectful to your H to post about your issues here. I understand that everyone needs to vent and some of you are in?desperate?times (like going through divorce or serious marital issues that need advice). I am not talking about you.

I am referring to the flippant posts like 'my DH is such a dumbass', 'my DH is so dumb that...'. the posts that are just made to berate your H because you have a bug up your butt.

I dont know.... you wouldn't say that stuff to his face so why is it ok to say it here? you are just looking to publicly humiliate him w/o?repercussions.?

how would you feel if your DH did that to you??

hudsaunt1 · October 2009

Amen!!!

Judah'sMommy · October 2009

I hesitate to agree with you, because while I HATE those phrases you listed (because I am in a marriage, not a dictatorship), I also think that quite frankly some posters make their DH's (or themselves, for that matter) seem like douchebags. So, if you don't want anyone to get that opinion, maybe don't put it out there all the time.

Jettaky · October 2009

*blondiem*:

Well, if you put it out there, you have to know that you are going to get the pearl clutchers, and the judgers and the flamers. I won't apologize for stating my opinion when people put that kind of stuff out there.

I'm glad to hear you can admit to judging people that you know nothing about.

DelGrecoBride · October 2009

Jettaky:
*blondiem*:

Well, if you put it out there, you have to know that you are going to get the pearl clutchers, and the judgers and the flamers. I won't apologize for stating my opinion when people put that kind of stuff out there.

I'm glad to hear you can admit to judging people that you know nothing about.

oh lordy

Mrs.JLC · October 2009

TMs1stBaby:
I have posted along these lines before. I never talk about my relationship on here. My DH is far from perfect, so am I, but we make our marriage work in our own way and I don't need the judgement from the folks on here. To be honest, I am glad that my DH and I don't agree on every single thing, I think it gives our household dimmension and shows our kiddos that there is more than one right answer to most of lives questions.

Well obviously your marriage works well for you because you have 2U2 and still had time to make a third.

*blondiem* · October 2009

Jettaky:
*blondiem*:

Well, if you put it out there, you have to know that you are going to get the pearl clutchers, and the judgers and the flamers. I won't apologize for stating my opinion when people put that kind of stuff out there.

I'm glad to hear you can admit to judging people that you know nothing about.

HAHAAAA!!! You are kidding me, right?? Because there are a ton of people that judge around here. This board is full of em'.

I don't ever talk about my marriage here. This is a public forum and I just don't feel the need to spew my shiit here. Other people do. My point is, you have to expect to get all sorts of responses. If you don't like that, then don't post it. It's pretty simple.

And jettakay, you may have worded your post wrong, but if you re-read it you would see why it sounds like you dictate what your DH watches. If you are bitter about what a stranger on the internet says, well, then that's on you. Not me.

BecauseICan · October 2009

Jettaky:
*blondiem*:

Well, if you put it out there, you have to know that you are going to get the pearl clutchers, and the judgers and the flamers. I won't apologize for stating my opinion when people put that kind of stuff out there.

I'm glad to hear you can admit to judging people that you know nothing about.

Okay, but in saying that...If someone posts, "My husband is a db b/c he wouldn't eat the dinner I cooked tonight." are you going to respond with "Well, I don't know you so I'm not going to say whether or not I think he is a db, there are two sides to every story, so maybe he could come on and share his side and then I can try to get to know you better and give you my opinion." I mean really, sometimes you just need to vent. And if you do vent, on a public message board, you should be ready to accept whatever comments follow. If you want a predictable response, this is probably not the best place to air your issues.

RufflesRambo · October 2009

Judah'sMommy:
I hesitate to agree with you, because while I HATE those phrases you listed (because I am in a marriage, not a dictatorship), I also think that quite frankly some posters some posters make their DH's (or themselves, for that matter) seem like douchebags. So, if you don't want anyone to get that opinion, maybe don't put it out there all the time.

I admit to putting my stuff out there. But sometimes constructive advice or even just a simple "I'm sorry" or "that sucks" goes a lot further than "well I never!" That's what I'm talking about.

MrsTotty · October 2009

Mrs.JLC:

TMs1stBaby:
I have posted along these lines before. I never talk about my relationship on here. My DH is far from perfect, so am I, but we make our marriage work in our own way and I don't need the judgement from the folks on here. To be honest, I am glad that my DH and I don't agree on every single thing, I think it gives our household dimmension and shows our kiddos that there is more than one right answer to most of lives questions.

Well obviously your marriage works well for you because you have 2U2 and still had time to make a third.

This is EXACTLY what I was thinking! lol

Judah'sMommy · October 2009

RufflesRambo:

Judah'sMommy:
I hesitate to agree with you, because while I HATE those phrases you listed (because I am in a marriage, not a dictatorship), I also think that quite frankly some posters make their DH's (or themselves, for that matter) seem like douchebags. So, if you don't want anyone to get that opinion, maybe don't put it out there all the time.

I admit to putting my stuff out there. But sometimes constructive advice or even just a simple "I'm sorry" or "that sucks" goes a lot further than "well I never!" That's what I'm talking about.

I agree, and I wasn't referring to you. Like I said I hate "That would never fly in my house!" and all that crap because the knife cuts both ways.

I try to refrain from commenting on a true vent post unless I have something valid to offer, and if I do comment it is with a ((HUGS)) or whatever.

laur1120 · October 2009

ITA RR. I made the mistake of venting on here once and I never will again.

MegGary · October 2009

I agree only because people on here read the post & just run w/ their assumptions. Yes you only have the information given to base your judgment on. Yes you don't know the whole back story. Thats why a judgment shouldn't be made in the 1st place.

That or people read a post & take the part they want & pick it apart till it's dead & bleeding. The fact of the matter is people can be mean, judgmental douchenozzles no matter what the topic is.

So if you need to vent about your DH or anything else you don't want to be judged on get a journal or start a blog. Don't expect people on the interwebs to rub your back & make it all better.

I'm not saying it?s acceptable. I'm just saying it's the way of the web.

goodtobethelarkster · October 2009

I agree.

I also think the whole "that wouldn't fly in my house" is silly because it doesn't really take into account that these are two people who chose to get married probably at least in part because they can deal with each other's annoying quirks and faults.

I suspect pretty much everything Mr. Adamwife does would not fly in my house. But there's also no way me and Mr. Adamwife would have made it 5 minutes into a date. Adamwife, however, married the dude. So presumably she doesn't think it's that big of deal that he won't let her wear pants.

I'm equally sure that most of the stuff Mr.Larkster does would not fly in Adamwife's house. But there's no way they would have made it 5 minutes into a first date either. I, however, don't think it's that big of deal that he thinks the LOLcats Bible makes more sense than the actual Bible and refers to DD as "Girl Jesus" whenever teenagers imply that their parents don't know about sex.

(And I've got nothing against Adamwife. In her own way that chick's got guts. She just strikes me as someone who is really different than me.)

We marry who we marry because we're all different and thus willing to put with different stuff, kwim?

KGsky · October 2009

I think this post is getting awfully judgy itself (no disrespect to the original poster). It went from "all the pearl clutching" regarding relationships to "I would NEVER post about my DH on here." So someone wants to vent on a message board. How is that disrespectful? I can tell you, my DH is not lurking the Bump trying to see what I really think about him--not that he would have to. And we have a great relationship--well, except for the maggots. Stick out tongue

RufflesRambo · October 2009

Judah'sMommy:
RufflesRambo:

Judah'sMommy:
I hesitate to agree with you, because while I HATE those phrases you listed (because I am in a marriage, not a dictatorship), I also think that quite frankly some posters make their DH's (or themselves, for that matter) seem like douchebags. So, if you don't want anyone to get that opinion, maybe don't put it out there all the time.

I admit to putting my stuff out there. But sometimes constructive advice or even just a simple "I'm sorry" or "that sucks" goes a lot further than "well I never!" That's what I'm talking about.

I agree, and I wasn't referring to you. Like I said I hate "That would never fly in my house!" and all that crap because the knife cuts both ways.

I try to refrain from commenting on a true vent post unless I have something valid to offer, and if I do comment it is with a ((HUGS)) or whatever.

Yeah when I was writing my orig post I actually thought of you and didn't want you to think it was directed AT you since you DO seem to have a solid marriage. There's nothing wrong with that I'm just tired of all the other crap. And ((HUGS)) are always welcome!

NewlywednOhio · October 2009

Nicely said! ITA with you....as usual. : )

RufflesRambo · October 2009

That being said, I do need to stop airing my marriage business on here. It's just a lot easier to admit certain things to you ladies than to people IRL because I don't want them to hold anything against DH. kwim?

AmyDrinkie · October 2009

Mmmm hmm, every vent I had ended up with several of those responses. I think it's b/c people thought I didn't stand up for myself, when really, I DO and H is just very stubborn and everything ends up being a huge fight b/c neither of us will back down. I always get an apology in the end though, and also will give one if it's appropriate.

katydid2007 · October 2009

goodtobethelarkster:

I agree.

I also think the whole "that wouldn't fly in my house" is silly because it doesn't really take into account that these are two people who chose to get married probably at least in part because they can deal with each other's annoying quirks and faults.

I suspect pretty much everything Mr. Adamwife does would not fly in my house. But there's also no way me and Mr. Adamwife would have made it 5 minutes into a date. Adamwife, however, married the dude. So presumably she doesn't think it's that big of deal that he won't let her wear pants.

I'm equally sure that most of the stuff Mr.Larkster does would not fly in Adamwife's house. But there's no way they would have made it 5 minutes into a first date either. I, however, don't think it's that big of deal that he thinks the LOLcats Bible makes more sense than the actual Bible and refers to DD as "Girl Jesus" whenever teenagers imply that their parents don't know about sex.

(And I've got nothing against Adamwife. In her own way that chick's got guts. She just strikes me as someone who is really different than me.)

We marry who we marry because we're all different and thus willing to put with different stuff, kwim?

ok.. what? Do you mean figuratively or literally? I'm not judging just surprised. I guess I'm stuck in my liberal little bubble world over here.

Jettaky · October 2009

*blondiem*:
Jettaky:
*blondiem*:

Well, if you put it out there, you have to know that you are going to get the pearl clutchers, and the judgers and the flamers. I won't apologize for stating my opinion when people put that kind of stuff out there.

I'm glad to hear you can admit to judging people that you know nothing about.

HAHAAAA!!! You are kidding me, right?? Because there are a ton of people that judge around here. This board is full of em'.

I don't ever talk about my marriage here. This is a public forum and I just don't feel the need to spew my shiit here. Other people do. My point is, you have to expect to get all sorts of responses. If you don't like that, then don't post it. It's pretty simple.

And jettakay, you may have worded your post wrong, but if you re-read it you would see why it sounds like you dictate what your DH watches. If you are bitter about what a stranger on the internet says, well, then that's on you. Not me.

I just think it's funny how quick people jump all over someone else no here. Everyone has their own issues and their own opinions. Does it make you feel better to say these things to other people?

Okay what if I do dictate what my DH watches, how does that affect you? Does it affect you if I am controlling in my own house? Does it affect you if someone things their DH is a db?

Judah'sMommy · October 2009

RufflesRambo:
Yeah when I was writing my orig post I actually thought of you and didn't want you to think it was directed AT you since you DO seem to have a solid marriage. There's nothing wrong with that I'm just tired of all the other crap. And ((HUGS)) are always welcome!

Hey, I'm married to a hopeless mama's boy whose mama hates me, we are extraordinarily tight financially but have to move within the next 2 months, are totally stressed, and I always have to remember every little freaking thing and it pisses me off. lol We all have our challenges. :-)

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