Here's my UO (this might get me in trouble with some posters)

MrsTotty

katydid2007:

goodtobethelarkster:

I agree.

I also think the whole "that wouldn't fly in my house" is silly because it doesn't really take into account that these are two people who chose to get married probably at least in part because they can deal with each other's annoying quirks and faults.

I suspect pretty much everything Mr. Adamwife does would not fly in my house.  But there's also no way me and Mr. Adamwife would have made it 5 minutes into a date.  Adamwife, however, married the dude.  So presumably she doesn't think it's that big of deal that he won't let her wear pants. 

I'm equally sure that most of the stuff Mr.Larkster does would not fly in Adamwife's house.  But there's no way they would have made it 5 minutes into a first date either. I, however, don't think it's that big of deal that he thinks the LOLcats Bible makes more sense than the actual Bible and refers to DD as "Girl Jesus" whenever teenagers imply that their parents don't know about sex. 

(And I've got nothing against Adamwife.  In her own way that chick's got guts. She just strikes me as someone who is really different than me.) 

We marry who we marry because we're all different and thus willing to put with different stuff, kwim?

ok.. what? Do you mean figuratively or literally?  I'm not judging just surprised. I guess I'm stuck in my liberal little bubble world over here.

Yeah ... no.  She's being completely literal here. 

*blondiem*

Momma.Brown:

 

ETA: my possibly UO is that i think its terribly disrespectful to your H to post about your issues here. I understand that everyone needs to vent and some of you are in desperate times (like going through divorce or serious marital issues that need advice). I am not talking about you.

I am referring to the flippant posts like 'my DH is such a dumbass', 'my DH is so dumb that...'. the posts that are just made to berate your H because you have a bug up your butt.

I dont know.... you wouldn't say that stuff to his face so why is it ok to say it here? you are just looking to publicly humiliate him w/o repercussions. 

how would you feel if your DH did that to you? 

I was just going to post something along these lines.  This is the #1 reason why I leave my marriage stuff off of these boards. I DO think it's disrespectful and ITA with all of what you just said.

cue the pigs to start their flight! 

*blondiem*

RufflesRambo:

Judah'sMommy:

RufflesRambo:

Judah'sMommy:

I hesitate to agree with you, because while I HATE those phrases you listed (because I am in a marriage, not a dictatorship), I also think that quite frankly some posters make their DH's (or themselves, for that matter) seem like douchebags.  So, if you don't want anyone to get that opinion, maybe don't put it out there all the time.

I admit to putting my stuff out there. But sometimes constructive advice or even just a simple "I'm sorry" or "that sucks" goes a lot further than "well I never!" That's what I'm talking about.

I agree, and I wasn't referring to you.  Like I said I hate "That would never fly in my house!" and all that crap because the knife cuts both ways. 

I try to refrain from commenting on a true vent post unless I have something valid to offer, and if I do comment it is with a ((HUGS)) or whatever. 

Yeah when I was writing my orig post I actually thought of you and didn't want you to think it was directed AT you since you DO seem to have a solid marriage. There's nothing wrong with that I'm just tired of all the other crap. And ((HUGS)) are always welcome! 

Can I give you one too, then?? Because I think maybe I owe you one. And an olive branch, because I do love you RR and I think you are in a tough spot and are handling it with more grace than I could ever have.  

RufflesRambo

*blondiem*:

Can I give you one too, then?? Because I think maybe I owe you one. And an olive branch, because I do love you RR and I think you are in a tough spot and are handling it with more grace than I could ever have.  

Is this sarcasm? LOL Because I don't feel graceful in the least! I usually feel whiny and negative which is NOT like me at all. I'm just holding onto hope that everything is happening for a reason and it will all come together soon!

But thanks for the hug in any case!

Momma.Brown

KGsky:

So someone wants to vent on a message board.? How is that disrespectful? ?

its disrespectful, imo, because some of these posts aren't about seeking advice. they are about belittling your spouse. it really?doesn't?make a difference to me if they ever see it or not.

and i wont ever bank on my H never reading the things i put online. People on here have called employers. i wouldn't put it past somebody to look up my H and send him any disparaging remarks i might make about him.?

looking for advice/venting - a-ok.

trashing your H and tearing him down out of spite on a public forum - not cool.?

?

blondie, does this mean that we dont have a grudge? damnit. i had my grudging outfit all picked out and everything. ?

*blondiem*

RufflesRambo:

*blondiem*:

Can I give you one too, then?? Because I think maybe I owe you one. And an olive branch, because I do love you RR and I think you are in a tough spot and are handling it with more grace than I could ever have.  

Is this sarcasm? LOL Because I don't feel graceful in the least! I usually feel whiny and negative which is NOT like me at all. I'm just holding onto hope that everything is happening for a reason and it will all come together soon!

But thanks for the hug in any case!

I don't think you give yourself enough credit.

Judah'sMommy

RufflesRambo:

*blondiem*:

Can I give you one too, then?? Because I think maybe I owe you one. And an olive branch, because I do love you RR and I think you are in a tough spot and are handling it with more grace than I could ever have.  

Is this sarcasm? LOL Because I don't feel graceful in the least! I usually feel whiny and negative which is NOT like me at all. I'm just holding onto hope that everything is happening for a reason and it will all come together soon!

But thanks for the hug in any case!

Can I join in on the hug-a-thon?  Because RR I you as well and I think you're doing a great job handling all the changes you've been through.  And Oak is such a lucky boy to have you as his mom. 

RufflesRambo

Judah'sMommy:

RufflesRambo:

*blondiem*:

Can I give you one too, then?? Because I think maybe I owe you one. And an olive branch, because I do love you RR and I think you are in a tough spot and are handling it with more grace than I could ever have.  

Is this sarcasm? LOL Because I don't feel graceful in the least! I usually feel whiny and negative which is NOT like me at all. I'm just holding onto hope that everything is happening for a reason and it will all come together soon!

But thanks for the hug in any case!

Can I join in on the hug-a-thon?  Because RR I you as well and I think you're doing a great job handling all the changes you've been through.  And Oak is such a lucky boy to have you as his mom. 

  Thanks

KGsky

Momma.Brown:

KGsky:

So someone wants to vent on a message board.  How is that disrespectful?  

its disrespectful, imo, because some of these posts aren't about seeking advice. they are about belittling your spouse. it really doesn't make a difference to me if they ever see it or not.

and i wont ever bank on my H never reading the things i put online. People on here have called employers. i wouldn't put it past somebody to look up my H and send him any disparaging remarks i might make about him. 

looking for advice/venting - a-ok.

trashing your H and tearing him down out of spite on a public forum - not cool. 

 

blondie, does this mean that we dont have a grudge? damnit. i had my grudging outfit all picked out and everything.  

I *guess* I see what you're saying.  But I was right to be upset about the maggots, then?

laur1120

RufflesRambo:

*blondiem*:

Can I give you one too, then?? Because I think maybe I owe you one. And an olive branch, because I do love you RR and I think you are in a tough spot and are handling it with more grace than I could ever have.  

Is this sarcasm? LOL Because I don't feel graceful in the least! I usually feel whiny and negative which is NOT like me at all. I'm just holding onto hope that everything is happening for a reason and it will all come together soon!

But thanks for the hug in any case!

I agree with Blondie.  You've been going through SO much and I can only imagine how hard it is to hold it all together.  I think you're doing great. 

Momma.Brown

KGsky:

I *guess* I see what you're saying.? But I was right to be upset about the maggots, then?

i cant remember exactly what you said, but that was hella gross. so i am going with yes, you were right. ?

MegGary

Ruffles I haven't followed anything you have posted on your marriage. From reading the PP I see you might be having problems. That I hate to see. I hate to see it for anyone so I hope it all works out.

 

 

kgb1411

goodtobethelarkster:

I agree.

I also think the whole "that wouldn't fly in my house" is silly because it doesn't really take into account that these are two people who chose to get married probably at least in part because they can deal with each other's annoying quirks and faults.

I suspect pretty much everything Mr. Adamwife does would not fly in my house.  But there's also no way me and Mr. Adamwife would have made it 5 minutes into a date.  Adamwife, however, married the dude.  So presumably she doesn't think it's that big of deal that he won't let her wear pants. 

I'm equally sure that most of the stuff Mr.Larkster does would not fly in Adamwife's house.  But there's no way they would have made it 5 minutes into a first date either. I, however, don't think it's that big of deal that he thinks the LOLcats Bible makes more sense than the actual Bible and refers to DD as "Girl Jesus" whenever teenagers imply that their parents don't know about sex. 

(And I've got nothing against Adamwife.  In her own way that chick's got guts. She just strikes me as someone who is really different than me.) 

We marry who we marry because we're all different and thus willing to put with different stuff, kwim?

I absolutely agree.  I can think of a few people on this board who probably wouldn't have made it 5 minutes into a date with my husband, but I think he's halarious. 

fIowerchild

Nothing to flame here! 

RufflesRambo

Thanks ladies! I didn't mean for this post to turn into what it ended up as but I really appreciate everyone's support!   

I'm also glad it didn't get too heated - I was skerred.

Momma.Brown

RufflesRambo:

Thanks ladies! I didn't mean for this post to turn into what it ended up as but I really appreciate everyone's support!? ?

I'm also glad it didn't get too heated - I was skerred.

maybe this space heater will help get a fire started

?

goodtobethelarkster

MrsTotty:

katydid2007:

goodtobethelarkster:

I agree.

I also think the whole "that wouldn't fly in my house" is silly because it doesn't really take into account that these are two people who chose to get married probably at least in part because they can deal with each other's annoying quirks and faults.

I suspect pretty much everything Mr. Adamwife does would not fly in my house.  But there's also no way me and Mr. Adamwife would have made it 5 minutes into a date.  Adamwife, however, married the dude.  So presumably she doesn't think it's that big of deal that he won't let her wear pants. 

I'm equally sure that most of the stuff Mr.Larkster does would not fly in Adamwife's house.  But there's no way they would have made it 5 minutes into a first date either. I, however, don't think it's that big of deal that he thinks the LOLcats Bible makes more sense than the actual Bible and refers to DD as "Girl Jesus" whenever teenagers imply that their parents don't know about sex. 

(And I've got nothing against Adamwife.  In her own way that chick's got guts. She just strikes me as someone who is really different than me.) 

We marry who we marry because we're all different and thus willing to put with different stuff, kwim?

ok.. what? Do you mean figuratively or literally?  I'm not judging just surprised. I guess I'm stuck in my liberal little bubble world over here.

Yeah ... no.  She's being completely literal here. 

Yup.  A little while ago there was a post about how dressing too sexy was disrespectful to your marriage and there was something in there from Adamwife about how she didn't wear pants because her H thought it showed off her butt or something along those lines.  (If I'm remembering wrong, I apologize!)

If DH were like, "Hey babe, don't wear jeans anymore" I'd be like "Bwahahahaha!  Are you new or something?" and pointedly rock sexy jeans for the next week while giving him the side eye. 

But I remember reading that post and thinking "Meh.  Okay.  I find that weird.  Like really weird.  But despite his love of ketchup DH now lives an almost entirely ketchup free life because I hate ketchup with the fire of 10,000 suns.  I didn't put "thou shalt not eat ketchup" in our marriage vows or anything but since we cook and eat together as a family a lot that's pretty much how it works out like 95% of the time. So maybe pants are their ketchup... Or maybe adherrance to rigidly traditional gender roles are their ketchup." 

Okay, rigidly restricting life choices based on your genitals is not like ketchup except for that I don't like both as applied to me as concepts or in practice.  But if people choose - like really choose - to go that route and it works for both people in a marriage then knock yourself out. 

Temp174496125006552

This is why I never post about our marriage/relationship.  It's not perfect and we're not perfect...but I just don't feel it's right to slam him on a public message board.  If I found out he was doing that about me on a board that he posted on, there would be a very serious conversation happening.  So I give him the same respect. 

Not saying that it's not ok to vent occasionally, but I think a good rule of thumb (for me, anyway) is not to post anything that I wouldn't say to someone's face.  If DH pisses me off and I want to talk about it, I call my mom.  And when my dad is being a tool, she calls me. 

MrsTotty

goodtobethelarkster:

Yup.  A little while ago there was a post about how dressing too sexy was disrespectful to your marriage and there was something in there from Adamwife about how she didn't wear pants because her H thought it showed off her butt or something along those lines.  (If I'm remembering wrong, I apologize!)

Nope, that about covers it. I'm pretty sure there was a Bible verse in there too ... but thats basically the gist of it. 

Temp174496125006552

MegGary:

Ruffles I haven't followed anything you have posted on your marriage. From reading the PP I see you might be having problems. That I hate to see. I hate to see it for anyone so I hope it all works out.

Same here.

Jettaky

seans_grl:

MegGary:

Ruffles I haven't followed anything you have posted on your marriage. From reading the PP I see you might be having problems. That I hate to see. I hate to see it for anyone so I hope it all works out.

Same here.

Same for me too. I hope everything works out.

Kilts_Kimonos

Totally agree, like its that easy to tell DH to do xyz.

brandonsfuturewife07

whoop whoop

CreamyMonster