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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Would your DH be mad if you posted this on your blog? (long)
My DH (whom I was separated and then reconciled sort of with - at least until this) is FURIOUS that I posted a series of pictures like this on my blog:
He says that he's totally embarrassed that he looks like a slob because he's sleeping in the background (he was hungover from night before). Honestly I didn't even realize when I was posting it that he was there - which he claims is even worse because I don't consider or look out for him at all. (several commenters pointed out how they thought it was cute that he was sleeping in the background which is the only reason I noticed it!)
Anyway, he's so mad that he posted on my blog to taking the fvcking picutre down, cursed at me via email a couple of times - all while away on a business trip. He returned last night and we actually didn't speak. He went to bed first and I slept downstairs on the couch.
I am posting this here not to air out my dirty laundry, but because I am at a serious loss to explain his anger.. I just wouldn't have EVER imagined this would upset him, so it's hard to know how to act to not make him angry in the future ya know? But maybe I'm way off base and I'm totally in the wrong.. would your DH be mad about this? (I DID later edit him out of the pictures after he was so incensed.)
Now I'm seriously reconsidering our reconciliation.. he has such a short (and seemingly random) fuse and I'm tired of walking on eggshells and feeling like an emotional punching bag. Sadly, before last weekend we had a two week stint where things were great - so this is out of the blue and really gets me down about our odds of ever being happy together.
If you made it this far.. thanks! Sorry for the vent.
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Re: Would your DH be mad if you posted this on your blog? (long)
Really, why? Just curious. There have been plenty of other pics of Dh though, so it's this one in particular that he obviously has an issue with!
ditto this. DH was upset when our wedding photographer had one of our photos on his website.
Breleigh & Mason
he doesn't like to be photographed. he's not happy with the way he looks. I put a family portrait up on here once and he saw it. He threatened never to take family portraits again
- so I respect his wishes.
ETA: my dh wouldn't go overboard about it though. he'd just make sure I took it down and not put anymore up of him
My DH would probably be upset, too, but he's very particular about which pictures I put up on the blog. He wouldn't take it to the same level as your DH, though, especially since you photoshopped him out.
As a side note, I read your blog post and did notice him sleeping in the background and only thought "hey, I guess they're back together!" and definitely not that he was a slob sleeping in the background.
Sorry he's treating you like this. It's definitely uncalled for. [hugs]
I don't have any words of wisdom. It seems like such a random thing to be upset about. ((HUGS)), and I hope you can get to the bottom of why he feels that way.
I would remove his comments from your blog though. No one needs to see that back and forth. I can't believe he would curse at his wife in her blog comments.
LOL, it is pretty blurry, I mean it's not like I was even taking the picture OF him..
As for PP about how he's living his life, I don't *think* it's because he's hungover (people assumed he was just napping) but because he looks like a "slob" which I guess maybe is because he's sleeping? I don't even really understand it at all.
I have put pics on my blog where DH is sleeping in the background--one in particular where DH is asleep and DS was piling things on top of him, lol.
But my DH is very laid back and doesn't tend to get riled up about stupid things, thankfully.
Two angel babies 11/09 and 4/10
no, but my dh is fairly laid back and doesn't go berserk over any little thing.
I'm sorry that he's freaking out about it - I'd have a hard time living with someone with such a short fuse and temper. Mostly b/c I have no intention of spending my life walking on eggshells. He could have simply said, "yo, i don't really want pics of me on your blog or the interwebz", you know? I think it's ridiculous for him to freak out.
While I don't see the problem with it, I can see my DH getting upset about it. He really hates when I post any pictures of him on my blog, so I really limit pictures to the ones he approves or I don't even put him on there just to avoid the drama. His reasoning is that he thinks he's fat and hates seeing pictures of himself on my blog. Lame, but I don't post any pictures because I know I hate it when ugly pictures of me are tagged on Facebook.
Either way, I'm sorry that his reaction was so over the top. That's not OK.
My Etsy Store PIGGY'S PLACE
My DH would not have been upset... but I would have included a cute little comment about how DD wore her Daddy out that day or something along those lines.
I honestly don't know why he is so furious over the picture. I can understand him not liking it and asking you take it down, but the ridiculous cursing and attitude makes me question where his anger is coming from. I don't know what your marital problems are, but if they include you feeling like he doesn't do anything to help with raising your DS maybe these type of pictures make him angry because he thinks you are trying to prove that?
My advice is to try and talk to him and see if you can get to the bottom of his anger... but I have some serious doubts that it will work. Unless there is more to the story that you haven't included it seems as though he flipped out over something trivial.
It also sounds (from your explanation) that this type of behavior from him is normal. I know that marriage counseling is not the answer to every problem, but have you guys tried that? It sounds to me that he is a bit emotionally abusive and that is NOT ok under any circumstances. You need to think about what is best for you and your DS and sadly, that might not be reconciling with your H. If marraige counseling is not an option I would definately be getting some for just yourself.
Good luck and I'm sorry you have to deal with this
My husband isn't a big fan of pictures of himself. However, he would never be angry at me for posting a pic of him. Embarrassed, maybe, but not mad. And with the kid in the foreground and the focus, and a really cute pic of the kid at that, he'd probably say "Yeah, I'd post that, too."
I agree with Amanda. He needs to grow up. Not everything is about him.
However, if it was upsetting to him, I'd crop/edit him out. And I'd ask him how he felt about the metaphor of that: that he'd rather be edited out of the pictures of his kid's life, so it looked like he wasn't ever there, than to have people see him the way he is at home.
My DH wouldn't be mad, but he works in entertainment and is a total AW.
fwiw, I don't think he looks like a slob at all - just someone taking a nap. It's not like there are empty beer cans and Playboy on the floor next to him.
He was probably in a bad mood in the first place. I wouldn't over think it too much.
I considered taking them down. I don't want anyone else to feel uncomfortable reading it.. but on the other hand if this IS the end for us I wan to remember WHY and I want HIM to remember why and the fact that he had such a "public" outburst is maybe something he should consider before he does it again. I'm tired of making excuses and covering up for what I see as his anger issues. Frankly, he should be much more embarrassed about his subsequent behavior than the picture!
It's not like he looks hung over. He looks like he's doing what every person in this world does, which is sleep. I think he's overreacting. I'm sorry, this would solidify my feelings that I already had about him
Breleigh & Mason
This! To be honest though, the first thing I noticed in the pic was your adorable little boy! =]
My DH is weird in picking what he gets upset about, but I think in this case he'd think it's 'hilarious' and put the picture up on his FB after seeing it on said blog. He's weird like that. Now if it were a nice picture of him smiling but he didn't like, he'd be like "UGH WHY DID YOU PUT *THAT* ONE UP? I LOOK LIKE A DORK!".
I think your DH is feeling guiiillltttyy.....
No...wow. I think it's kind of cute. However, my husband doesn't mind me posting pictures of him online.
Even if you knew he didn't like having pictures posted of himself, I think that was a pretty violent reaction to such a small thing. Are you two in counseling?
Wow, fly off the handle much? (meant for your DH).
My dh would probably think it was funny, and almost like he got busted sleeping on the job. lol
I think your DS is clearly the focus of the photo and would feel the same way as you.
I just read his response to you. Oh hell no. Hellll no.
Like talking so disrespectfully about your marriage and saying "take my fuckking picture off" is making him look any better?
I would seriously reconsider things at this point. What is your marriage worth if you're constantly walking on eggshells around him? That's no way to live. I'm so sorry. :hugs
My Etsy Store PIGGY'S PLACE
I read your blog. I saw that series of pictures and didn't think a thing about him being on the couch. You document life, and that's what was happening when you took the photo. It's not like people don't nap on the couch!
Do you think it has more to do with where you are in your reconciliation? IDK anything about you guys, but maybe he's worried what Internet strangers will think since you've posted about your separation. Or maybe he's defensive of how he's portrayed on your blog (which is never negative IMO) since it's public.
Sorry to hear of the rough patch. I hope he'll talk about it more and realize how silly this is in the grand scheme of things. Most readers were probably too focused on your DS's cute expression to even notice anything else.
ETA: I just read his comments. I'm appalled he would 1. speak to his wife like that and 2. post it on a public blog. No wonder you're frustrated. I'm sorry.
First off what an adorable pic your son is so cute
Two it's a great pic - I can think of alot of different captions for it
Three DH isn't crazy about ANY of our photos being online -- believes that people can take your photos and totally manipulate them ie. the fake foster kid that was stolen from someone's blog.
IMHO - I can see why he would be upset cause he kind of looks like he was "sleeping on the job" but to be nasty to you is totally uncalled for and I think you should call him on it.
omg. it really doesn't matter about the pictures. what matters is how he commented. that is seriously jerky and uncalled for.
i feel like i have to walk on eggshells around my husband sometimes and it just plain sucks. ugh. i'm sorry.
and for the record, when i first read the post, i thought it was funny that he was in the background.
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My husband isn't happy with any pictures of himself out there on the interwebz, so I try not to post them. But he wouldn't flip out the way that yours did.
I'm so sorry he reacted way to you
I just read the comments. I'm sorry
If you do still have hopes for reconciliation I would advise you to just delete the pictures instead of editing them with the comment that it was at the request of the background subject. I would also delete the comments off of the blog, and delete this thread as well. I don't think this is the kind of thing you want aired out in public if there is any chance that you're going to try to work through the issues you guys have.
Good luck.