SAHM do you get a weekly allowance?

lifeasmommy · September 2009

or just get spending money for misc things aside from groceries?

I was going through the posts from last night and saw that most get an allowance for grocery shopping

userdeleted · September 2009

No, we don't do allowances. I put together a monthly budget, we discuss it and make sure we're on the same page, and we both talk about any abnormal purchases before they're made.

Monkeybuttwhat · September 2009

Um no lol. No one is on an allowance. If he ever tried to do that I would be back at work the next day. I do our bills though so he never will. I am not sure when the last time he logged into our checking account was, maybe 2 years ago?

Buckets of Moonbeams · September 2009

My H and I both get allowances. We were spending money like it was going out of style. So now the checking account pays for all groceries, bills, and stuff for K, as well as unusual purchases: birthday gifts, etc. Then if we want to buy something fun, it comes out of the cash each of us get on payday. It's a small sum, but WOW have we saved money since doing that. When you're on a tight play budget it really makes you think about how badly you actually want something.

Serendipity* · September 2009

Thank you for posting this! I needed to LOL! No, I do not get an allowance. This is not 1950 LOL If DH told me he was going to give me an allowance I would probably fall out on the floor in laughter

vanillacourage · September 2009

People really get "allowances" from their husbands? Really?

BlessedMommy723 · September 2009

No. DH and I are on the same page when it comes to budget and I have when all of our bills are due on the calendar. We discuss extra purchases before they are made (typically things over $20).

Heather R · September 2009

this question grosses me out.

oceanlover · September 2009

My friend does this, she does not have access to his bank account or anything. It would drive me nuts. It started out this way because she had some debt from her previous life, and now that she is the most responsible person I know -- he still will not allow her access. She does not see it as controlling. ugh.

murphyec · September 2009

I am not a SAHM, but I don't understand why an allowance is such a bad thing. DH and I did that for a while. We each got X amount every 2 weeks to spend on whatever we wanted.

Monkeybuttwhat · September 2009

VC

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/23242130.aspx

ManciniMom · September 2009

I don't think this is an insane question lol

I know a couple women who get what some would call an "allowance" ie. get $150 weekly spending money to spend on misc things aside from household necessities and child necessities.

I would rather have that then have my DH hound me for every cent I spend everytime I went to the store to be honest.

simmer ladies

TMs1stBaby · September 2009

I think the wording allowance is probably just making people cringe. If the question was do you have a weekly budget, you probably would get better responses.

JustMarried2005 · September 2009

I do all the finance stuff in our family. Every Sunday, I give my husband cash for the week

So, I guess my answer is yes, we have allowances, but it's for my husband

carolinag · September 2009

dear god no. and if my dh even proposed the idea he'd get a swift kick to the family jewels! honestly i was baffled by the number of h's who check what the ladies spent the minute they walk in from the store and reprimand them. we're on a tight budget too, but my dh trusts me enough that i know how to spend and save. i'm not a child, this is not the 1950s, and just because i sah doesn't make me inferior to him.

bostonfingerlakes07 · September 2009

I may not work, but the money in our account is OUR money. If my DH ever said anything about the money being his and me getting an allowance there would be some serious trouble. We both try to stick to a budget and talk about larger purchases in advance and we honestly never fight about it.

destea1 · September 2009

It helped me to talk to DH and decide on a set amount of "me" money every month (I had a hard time shifting from equal earner to SAH and making zip and felt guilty spending on myself, so this helped me a lot). Now I know about how much we can both expect to use on ourselves if we want and no longer feel guilty about it. I guess it could be considered an allowance, but it's more a 'this is cool in the budget for each of us, so don't feel bad if you want XYZ".

ManciniMom · September 2009

TMs1stBaby:
I think the wording allowance is probably just making people cringe. If the question was do you have a weekly budget, you probably would get better responses.

I think you're right.

Though to me it's just the same as budgeting I guess

LukeAndAmanda · September 2009

I "SAH", and I actually only work like 15 hours a week...at 8something an hour, I really dont contribute a ton. But I did our budget, and I alloted each of us $150 a month to do with whatever we wanted. He said something to the effect of "I work 50 hours a week, and you work 15, and we get the same amount?" But trust me, that changed after I told him he could stay home with DD, and I'll go sit in his 911 chair for 12 hours a day reading books. Devil

We put a considerable amount of extra money towards old bills, so as some of those are paid off, we'll use half of the extra to put a little bit more towards our spending money, and saving the rest. He's fine with it..so the allowance is more for him than it is me.

funchicken · September 2009

Rach03k:
No, we don't do allowances. I put together a monthly budget, we discuss it and make sure we're on the same page, and we both talk about any abnormal purchases before they're made.

This is what we do, too, and this is what we did even when I was working. We never had "his money" vs. "my money"--we just think of it as "the money."

jenifairies · September 2009

Rach03k:
No, we don't do allowances. I put together a monthly budget, we discuss it and make sure we're on the same page, and we both talk about any abnormal purchases before they're made.

pretty much this. if he suggested that i as a sahm get an 'allowance' he'd better be running as he said it as there'd be a frying pan flying after him.

lite-bright · September 2009

DH and I have a set weekly budget. Part of that is groceries, but it also includes things like gas, gifts, household expenses, pet stuff, etc.

If I can fit it into the weekly budget, I can buy it, is pretty much how things go. But normally in the course of the week, if I plan on buying something out of the ordinary -- if DD needs new shoes, clothes, etc. -- then I usually mention it to him. It's not a permission thing, but so we both know if we have money left over to go out for lunch/dinner over the weekend, etc.

BetchySprout · September 2009

oceanlover:
My friend does this, she does not have access to his bank account or anything. It would drive me nuts. It started out this way because she had some debt from her previous life, and now that she is the most responsible person I know -- he still will not allow her access. She does not see it as controlling. ugh.

I think this is smart. Don't give a drunk a drink, KWIM? You also said "his" bank account...do they not have a joint one? If it was a joint account, she should absolutely have access.

I work but DH and I both get allowances (aka our pittance). We are saving for a house and paying off huge student loans. It would be anarchy in our home if we both had access to the debit card.

CrazeyJaneyR · September 2009

I would prefer to get an allowance so I would better control my spending.?

?

I think the phrase " allowance" is misunderstood. I think "budget" might be a better way to describe this.?

MrsHK · September 2009

Yes, I'm about to be a quasi-SAHM (ie: unemployed) but we've always had allowances. We call it allowance because it does sound kinda funny that way. I handle all the finances, with DH's input of course. I've always had it set up that from our income X amount goes to savings, X amount goes to bills, and X amount goes to each of us for misc spending money.

We have joint accounts and separate accounts. It helps us not worry about the minor nickle and dime stuff that adds up quickly. But the biggest benefit I'd say comes from presents. We can each save our own money for presents for the other and buy things without the other having access to see what was bought/when. KWIM? Otherwise, there's really nothing else our 'allowances' go towards.

pugsgum · September 2009

bostonfingerlakes07:
I may not work, but the money in our account is OUR money. If my DH ever said anything about the money being his and me getting an allowance there would be some serious trouble. We both try to stick to a budget and talk about larger purchases in advance and we honestly never fight about it.

This, we are both pretty frugal, and understand what we can and can't afford. I have seen this question before, I guess it is the word allowance that bothers me. If you mean a system for managing money then great, but an allotment given to you by H - I think is strange.

skoorbnibor · September 2009

no, I am not 12. We both try to keep spending within a budget we work out together and agree to never spend more than $200 without discussing it.

He does pay the bills, but I do pretty much all the shopping for the home and groceries and etc, and I just keep it in check. I know what we can spend in order to stay in the safe zone. I don't need an allowance to do that.

MirandaHobbes · September 2009

murphyec:
I am not a SAHM, but I don't understand why an allowance is such a bad thing. DH and I did that for a while. We each got X amount every 2 weeks to spend on whatever we wanted.

This- it's just another way of saying "do you get a weekly budget." My "allowance" is mine to spend however I want and I don't have to feel guilty that I'm not saving it or whatever. Or if there is something big and stupid I want to buy (an over-priced purse or something) I can save up and buy it without feeling guilty.

PD's_Momma · September 2009

So would get knocked up side the head if he tried to put me on an allowance. The only thing I will do is if it looks like I am going to spend more than $200 I call him to make sure he doesn't have any expensive plans. He also does the same for me.

Shell24 · September 2009

A what? Um, no. And if my DH ever brought it up he'd get slugged. I'm not the child to his adult...if he tried to use that word with me I'd be super annoyed. But luckily he doesn't have that kind of attitude and mentality.

Sure, I can no longer afford to purchase the brands of bags and shoes I once did, but working or not, that pretty much stopped when my DD was born. I couldn't justify spending $350 on a pair of shoes when we had increased our savings by that much for her college. So he knows I'm not stupid and we have discussions about money and where it goes/should go, but he in no way tells me what to do.

One day two weeks ago I had the "big" grocery shop and I spent about $150 at Jewel, $75 at Whole Foos, $90 at Target, etc. He doesn't even question those things. But, I also think this may have a bit to do with cost of living and salary. Those amounts don't faze us, but to some may be a LOT of money. That's where I think the difference lies. But at the same time, allowance to me means the DH is controlling the money and I don't like the idea of that (I could be getting the wrong message from the wording though).

fIowerchild · September 2009

I just read the other post. Some of those husbands need a kick in the balls. Going through the receipt? What are they looking for - to make sure that all items purchased were within compliance? Those H's should automatically be assigned grocery duty and then we'll see how well they do.

Shell24 · September 2009

BlessedMommy723:
No. DH and I are on the same page when it comes to budget and I have when all of our bills are due on the calendar. We discuss extra purchases before they are made (typically things over $20).

$20 is your limit that you have to talk to your spouse about? I agree that the household should have one, but if I called my DH every time I was about to spend $20 he'd change his number LOL

Monkeybuttwhat · September 2009

Shell24:
BlessedMommy723:
No. DH and I are on the same page when it comes to budget and I have when all of our bills are due on the calendar. We discuss extra purchases before they are made (typically things over $20).

$20 is your limit that you have to talk to your spouse about? I agree that the household should have one, but if I called my DH every time I was about to spend $20 he'd change his number LOL

Lol ikr

Mrs.State746 · September 2009

Monkeybuttwhat:
Um no lol. No one is on an allowance. If he ever tried to do that I would be back at work the next day. I do our bills though so he never will. I am not sure when the last time he logged into our checking account was, maybe 2 years ago?

This exactly. I swear he asks me "What's my log in again". Sometimes I'll ask him before I buy something and he laughs at me and says "Do whatever you want". He's never treated it as HIS money. I did work once, and added a good $5K to our savings.

We don't budget either, we probably should because it would make our life easier but we just haven't done it.

LoriFalce · September 2009

No. But I WAH, so maybe that's a different category. I actually bring money in on a more regular basis than my husband, but when he brings it in, it's a lot more than mine, so generally we're both spending the money of just one of us at a time.

A_seattle · September 2009

No, that would make me feel like a child. We both have equal access to all accounts, always have since marriage. I spend what I need when I need it and so does DH - neither of us are stupid with money so it works for us.

BartsGirl · September 2009

I do the budget, the bills, and most of the shopping. And as pp said we discuss pretty much everything that is not a normal monthly purchase. Our budget is tight, so talking about all of our purchases is what makes us feel comfortable. I don't have an "allowance" and neither does he.

A_seattle · September 2009

also, we don't really do a monthly budget - it is too unpredictavle for us. DH is a realtor and 100% commission...one month can bring in $20k and another can bring in nothing... we are really good at stashing money in our savings on the good months but find it hard to do a monthly budget when it is so variable.

Spin313 · September 2009

Heather R:
this question grosses me out.

Lol...the thought of getting an "allowance" from my husband is offensive.

Monkeybuttwhat · September 2009

Mrs.State746:
Monkeybuttwhat:
Um no lol. No one is on an allowance. If he ever tried to do that I would be back at work the next day. I do our bills though so he never will. I am not sure when the last time he logged into our checking account was, maybe 2 years ago?
This exactly. I swear he asks me "What's my log in again". Sometimes I'll ask him before I buy something and he laughs at me and says "Do whatever you want". He's never treated it as HIS money. I did work once, and added a good $5K to our savings.
We don't budget either, we probably should because it would make our life easier but we just haven't done it.

Lol I changed the login two years ago because it needed to be more secure with a bank software update. He has never asked what the new one is, that is how I know he hasn't been in there.

franciscaz · September 2009

Okay I'm not a SAHM but I do have to weigh in on this. This concept of an allowance gets me steamed. You are an equal partner and therefore deserve equal access to all accounts! Yes we both live by a "budget" but I would damned if I would ever let my DH dole me out an allowance. The week after we got married we both put each others names on ALL of the accounts and we both have equal access.

By golly if he was checking up on me like some of ya'lls DH's or doling out only a little bit for me at a time I would kick him the balls straight to a marriage counselor!!!

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