Success after IF

My Poppa is dying :-(

I just got off the phone with my mom. Her dad fell in the bathroom the other night, I insisted they check him into the hospital b/c of some other minor issues he was having... and a scope today revealed his stomach is one huge inoperable cancerous tumor. Doc says 3 weeks to 3 months, but I say that's generous. He's alert and aware, no pain at the moment. He wants to come home to die. I've worked hospice and oncology and seen 50+ people take their last breath. I never thought my own grandfather would be 51, but I would rather be there than some strange nurses coming in and out all the time. We're going to all figure out a game plan tomorrow.

I'm just kinda numb. Watching someone die slowly has got to be the worst thing everrrrrrr. In about a week or so, after we've all said what we want to, etc. I'm going to just start hoping he has a nice long sleep, and gets to skip the chitty part.

Sorry to post such sadness on a happy night for Babbs, but this just sucks. 

 

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Re: My Poppa is dying :-(

  • I'm so sorry, Davez.  :(
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  • (((((hugs)))))  It's never easy to lose a loved one. :(
  • I'm so sorry! :(
    Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • So sorry to hear this Tracie. 
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    "When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents enjoyment of their babies, it's rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep." ~ James McKenna, Ph.D., Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Center, University of Notre Dame

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  • I am so sorry!!
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    Join us - Commit Random Acts of Kindness, and say "I did it for Cricket" Cricket's Cadence
  • I'm so so sorry...that stinks. 

    While I was still doing hospice, I had a very close friend of the family on services with my hospice, and it was tough.  I was there when he passed, and I thought I could do it.  I broke down...and I've been with more dying people (hospice and ICU) than I care to remember. 

    Get hospice...let them medicate him and be there to hold you and your family up when you need it.  You can still be there with him...but you can just be his grand-daughter and let the nurses do the tough stuff...

    ((((((((((((((((davezwife)))))))))))))))

     

  • So sorry to hear about your grandfather.  Prayers going up for you and your family.
    After 20 months TTC with PCOS, we were blessed with twins!
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  • OH no!!  I'm so sorry about your grandpa. 
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  • hospice will be on board - I imagine legally they'll have to be, I can't be pushing meds as his granddaughter ;-)

    I just reaaaaalllllllyyyyyyyy don't want this to be drawn out. He's age 87.  He's had a great life.  My goodness, we've had some GREAT years with him, he wants to be with his wife (she died many years ago, quickly, I might add) and I have many wonderful memories, etc.  I just don't want it to take a long time. That effing sucks for anyone to go thru.

    Thanks for all the hugs, as much as I claim to hate them, it's very nice of you all. I'm heading off to bed soon (bless the ativan and red wine, lol) so thanks in advance. g'nite.

     

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  • I'm so sorry. :(
  • I'm so, so sorry Davez.  I hope he doesn't suffer. 
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  • Here he is as one of my "ring bearers" in our wedding, he also took the rings around and had everyone lay their hands on them and bless them. It was beyond cute.

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  • I'm so very sorry
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    ~Working Mom~Breastfeeding Mom~Cloth Diapering Mom~BLW Mom~

    Blog - No Longer on the DL ~ The Man Cave
    Shawn and Larissa
    LO #1 - Took 2 years and 2 IVFs ~ DX - severe MFI mild PCOS homozygous MTHFR (a1298c)
    LO #2 - TTC 7 months, surprise spontaneous BFP!
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  • I am sorry to hear that. I agree with you about not wanting him to suffer.
  • I am sorry Tracie... I have now watched 3/4 of my own grandparents die and 1 of Todd's. and watching my beloved Nana descent into the hell of alzheimers...

    I am so sorry, it never gets easier and it never stops making us aware of the fragility of life. Hug Ava and Davez close... 

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  • I'm so sorry Davez.  It totally sucks and unfortunately nothing I say will help that.  I hope that your Poppa finds peace soon.
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  • I'm so sorry.  Love that story about him at your wedding, though.  It's stories like that that'll get you through the quiet, sad times to come.

    I was lucky enough to be with my mother during her final weeks.  It was the greatest gift I could give to her ... and to myself.  I still think, that after having kids, it's the best, most amazing thing I've ever gone through.  It was hard as hell losing her, and I miss her every day and the pain will never go away, but to be there with her through her dying, as she was with me through my being born ... I thank God I could do it.  I thank the universe I could be with her. 

    Saddest time of my life, but ... it's part of life.  I'm glad your grandfather had a good life.  He's lucky to have you.  And you're lucky you'll be able to be with him during his final days.  It's important.  The last thing you'll ever be able to do for him. 

  • I'm sorry. It's very rough to get those kind of news.

    Enjoy your time together as much as you can. If your gpa is up for it, have him read a story for Ava and record it. I wish I did that with my gfather before he passed away this summer

    Hugs,

  • I'm so sorry. I watched my grandpa pass and although it was very hard it was also very peaceful and lovely since he had suffered with cancer for a while. You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers. Take care.

    *hugs*

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  • I'm so sorry, it must be so hard.

  • I'm so sorry
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  • I'm so sorry. ?It's never easy to lose a loved one, and knowing that the end is near can make it so much harder. ?I hope you get to have a few good memories and smiles with him before he goes. ?((((Hugs))))
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  • Oh my gosh Davez, how horrible.  We are all here for you..... I will you keep you in my thoughts.
    Ella- 8/22/08, Jules and Tuck- 12/15/10
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  • I'm so sorry.
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  • I am sorry Davez.  I have worked oncology too and it is difficult, but even more so when it is a family member.  I was thrown into the same situation when my dad was diagnosed.  I pray your poppa has some peace and little to no pain.   FWIW...my dad went fast and skipped the $hitty part and it was the best thing ever and he was totally okay with it too.
  • I'm so sorry ((hugs))
    TTC for 19 months. Dx: PCOS. 3 IUI's with Clomid= BFN 1st IUI with injectables= BFP imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I'm so sorry Davez.  That really sucks :(  ((((Hugs))))
  • I am so sorry :( I pray that he will be in as much comfort as possible during this difficult time.
    It took over four years to be diagnosed with PCOS. We TTC #1 for 18 months, did 5 rounds of Clomid and finally moved onto IVF...which worked! Throughout our IF journey, we suffered 3 miscarriages. We conceived both DD and DS without treatment.
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  • So sorry sweetie. Hang in there. Hugzzz
  • Sorry Davez. ((HUGS))

    I understand. My dad was just d/x w/ stage 4 lung cancer. I'm not ready to watch him die. ::sigh::

  • I'm so sorry.  It is never easy.  Hang in there.  (((hugs)))
  • oh tracie, i'm so sorry.  huge hugs, sweetie.

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  • Oh honey, I am so sorry.
  • I'm so, so sorry.
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  • I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope his remaining time is peaceful and full of love.
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