Vent!! help please...boy name..fighting with hubby

XXLAURAF · September 2009

ok so my husband's real name is Clifton Aaron...but he goes by Randy since a child..long story....we are having a boy..had great girl names planned but no boy names really bc he kept annoying me saying we would name him Clifton Aaron JR....hell mofo no....I can not and will not name my child that horrible name and my parents r pissed saying def not as well as everyone else....

the name sucks...is gay....doesn't even fit our nationalities (Italian and Puerto Rican)...and he does not even go by it..I have explained it all to him but he says that's what we r naming him..and he swears that's the end of it...i seriously hate him so much bc of it lately..i know we have time but I would rather any other name besides that combo OR ANY VARIATION of it..

What do u suggest?????? i want Justin or Anthony or anythingggg normal and child friendly...something that he will not get mad fun of..i am a teacher and I know how hard names hit kids

Randa&Jerm · September 2009

Id say you have to sit down and have a serious discussion with DH. You still have lots of time before baby comes to come up with a compromise.

goldenleaves · September 2009

Don't name him a name you don't agree on. BUT... the name isn't "gay", and you probably shouldn't refer to it that way.

epphd · September 2009

First off, you are not contributing to a useful dialogue by calling his name "gay." So, start by growing up.

The bottom line is that you both have to agree on a name. With him making demands and you calling his name a derogatory slur, I'm not sure I see that happening.

blackdollhouse66 · September 2009

I agree with you i don't like that much either but he wants his name passed down. If he was able to grow up without any problems then neither will Jr. just give your boy the same nickname. My DH wants a Jr too

CKLee1107 · September 2009

*curious where his parents got the name* lol

On the plus side, no one at the hospital will put down a name on birth cert if one of the parents there objects right away.....But then you end up with Baby Boy _____(last name)....

I like both Justin and Anthony, what do you think of Aaron? At least its not Clifton.....I like Aaron Anthony an awful lot....GL!!!

lionessdiane · September 2009

Get a baby name book and have each of you highlight a few other names you like. Maybe you can pick the first name and use one of DH names as a middle name????

MrsRebecca · September 2009

I'm sorry, but how is it gay? Is it because you husband is gay?

XXLAURAF · September 2009

I kno but when he tells me his real name..or I do to make fun of him...they say "Cliffy or Clifford the bug red dog" I hate it and I know he does to otherwise why wouldn't he go by his real name???

I did sit down with him and he gets pissed and tells me He wants that name and he is using it...why me???? this is why i knew I would have a boy bc of this name issue....girl names were so agreede upon sucks and is really stressing me out...I told him he can choose anything elseeeeee but no just to piss me off he is doing this

RickeyandDani · September 2009

This is definitely an issue of him not being compassionate to your feelings or you being able to communicate effectively to each other. It could be your response to his wishes made him defensive.

Have you tried the approach like "Although I respect your reason for wanting to make him a "jr", I really don't want that. How about we agree on a name we BOTH are okay with...we don't have to love it, but just like it. I'll let you pick out some other names even, but I will resent it if you make me agree to a name that I don't like."

Tinkx123x · September 2009

he can't choose the name without you just keep saying actually we're naming him Justin. Nope justin. and keep saying that to him to let him know how annoying that is. Maybe you can find something you both like better. I LOVED the name rowan and swore i would name my son that but DH HATES it so i can't overrule him and choose that. So now we're going with a name we both love aka Blaine Alan

Temp785382312506150 · September 2009

Indifferent

I can't even muster up an appropriate response to this post. You obviously have alot of growing up to do.

XXLAURAF · September 2009

sorry I meant to say that the reason he does not go by his real name is bc people make fun of it and call him Cliffy or Clifford and nonsense..and he even said its a gay name,, but now bc we r having a boy out of no where he wants to name him this name saying it is a firm man name and he doesnt want a wussy kid...please...They got the name from his mom being a biotch and naming him that name to spite his father who didnt come to the hospital until two days after he was born..

MrsRebecca · September 2009

XXLAURAF:
sorry I meant to say that the reason he does not go by his real name is bc people make fun of it and call him Cliffy or Clifford and nonsense..and he even said its a gay name,, but now bc we r having a boy out of no where he wants to name him this name saying it is a firm man name and he doesnt want a wussy kid...please...They got the name from his mom being a biotch and naming him that name to spite his father who didnt come to the hospital until two days after he was born..

Please stop using the word gay. It is offensive.

Grow up.

goldenleaves · September 2009

:::blank stare::: wha??

RickeyandDani · September 2009

XXLAURAF:

I kno but when he tells me his real name..or I do to make fun of him...they say "Cliffy or Clifford the bug red dog" I hate it and I know he does to otherwise why wouldn't he go by his real name???

I did sit down with him and he gets pissed and tells me He wants that name and he is using it...why me???? this is why i knew I would have a boy bc of this name issue....girl names were so agreede upon sucks and is really stressing me out...I told him he can choose anything elseeeeee but no just to piss me off he is doing this

It sounds like because you didn't give him the response he was desiring he got defensive and put up a wall of being stubborn. My DH can be like that too sometimes "This is how it's gonna be and there's no more talkin about it". I let things simmer down nad rethink how I originally responded. Then I approach him after awhile and give him a glimmer of hope but offer options. So in your case I'd say "Baby, I'm sorry if I can't be all happy and excited to name our son Clifton. I can't help the way I feel. this child is BOTH of ours and it's only fair that we give our child a name that we both can agree on. A name is one of the only legacies we can give our child from birth so it's really important we both agree on a name. How about we compromise. You pick the middle name (it can be from your name) and I'll pick the first name?" etc etc. or how about you name the baby Anthony Clifton Aaron? Make your hubby's first and middle name the baby's middle name and you can add a more common first name? You are going to have to compromise with him. Just as he's so bent on using his name, you have the same passion about not using his name.

XXLAURAF · September 2009

wow...it is a horrible name not GAY...bc some women get so offended by a word...you can not state your opinion on this board for sh*t..bc other than answering a question people have to find something else to harp on..

XXLAURAF · September 2009

RickeyandDani:
XXLAURAF:

I kno but when he tells me his real name..or I do to make fun of him...they say "Cliffy or Clifford the bug red dog" I hate it and I know he does to otherwise why wouldn't he go by his real name???

I did sit down with him and he gets pissed and tells me He wants that name and he is using it...why me???? this is why i knew I would have a boy bc of this name issue....girl names were so agreede upon sucks and is really stressing me out...I told him he can choose anything elseeeeee but no just to piss me off he is doing this

It sounds like because you didn't give him the response he was desiring he got defensive and put up a wall of being stubborn. My DH can be like that too sometimes "This is how it's gonna be and there's no more talkin about it". I let things simmer down nad rethink how I originally responded. Then I approach him after awhile and give him a glimmer of hope but offer options. So in your case I'd say "Baby, I'm sorry if I can't be all happy and excited to name our son Clifton. I can't help the way I feel. this child is BOTH of ours and it's only fair that we give our child a name that we both can agree on. A name is one of the only legacies we can give our child from birth so it's really important we both agree on a name. How about we compromise. You pick the middle name (it can be from your name) and I'll pick the first name?" etc etc. or how about you name the baby Anthony Clifton Aaron? Make your hubby's first and middle name the baby's middle name and you can add a more common first name? You are going to have to compromise with him. Just as he's so bent on using his name, you have the same passion about not using his name.

Thank you...I will wait a while and start a nicer convo with him about it..Thanks...Anthony Clifton Aaron sounds much better

Temp785382312506150 · September 2009

XXLAURAF:
wow...it is a horrible name not GAY...bc some women get so offended by a word...you can not state your opinion on this board for sh*t..bc other than answering a question people have to find something else to harp on..

You've just proven my point that you're an idiot.

theloveangel · September 2009

the name isnt that homo

beegirl4 · September 2009

I kind of like the name... Huh?

I really do! Call me crazy!

XXLAURAF · September 2009

Mikes_Wife06:
XXLAURAF:
wow...it is a horrible name not GAY...bc some women get so offended by a word...you can not state your opinion on this board for sh*t..bc other than answering a question people have to find something else to harp on..

You've just proven my point that you're an idiot.

o please...ur an idiot that u care so much to worry about my thoughts and comments....asking for helpful responses from people like you makes women not even want to share on here...would you like to name your son that name???

MrsRebecca · September 2009

XXLAURAF:
Mikes_Wife06:
XXLAURAF:
wow...it is a horrible name not GAY...bc some women get so offended by a word...you can not state your opinion on this board for sh*t..bc other than answering a question people have to find something else to harp on..

You've just proven my point that you're an idiot.
o please...ur an idiot that u care so much to worry about my thoughts and comments....asking for helpful responses from people like you makes women not even want to share on here...would you like to name your son that name???

She can spell. She is not an idiot. HTH.

XXLAURAF · September 2009

theloveangel:
the name isnt that homo

LOL...I like Jayden..thats cute..I would use that..

XXLAURAF · September 2009

MrsRebecca:
XXLAURAF:
Mikes_Wife06:
XXLAURAF:
wow...it is a horrible name not GAY...bc some women get so offended by a word...you can not state your opinion on this board for sh*t..bc other than answering a question people have to find something else to harp on..

You've just proven my point that you're an idiot.
o please...ur an idiot that u care so much to worry about my thoughts and comments....asking for helpful responses from people like you makes women not even want to share on here...would you like to name your son that name???
She can spell. She is not an idiot. HTH.

LOL

Ciarrai · September 2009

While I can totally relate to disliking a name your DH likes and I honestly would be pretty resistant to any Jr (which thankfully so is DH), this entire post confuses and offends me. I'll admit name discussions in our house can get somewhat heated and usually end up with lists and vetos and everything else. But I'm with many of the pp that said your use of "gay" to describe the name is offensive and honestly ignorant. It's a name just like any other. Secondly, you are a grown woman who's about to have a baby start acting like one. This is a conversation you need to sit down and have with your husband calmly. Saying you "hate him so much" because of this is ridiculous. Suggest using it as a middle name. Ask him why he's never gone by Clifton or Cliff to open the conversation. Do not bring "other people" or your parents into it either way. This is your child and they do not have a say in what you name him. At the end of the day you and your DH need to agree on a name.

Luv-a-Bug · September 2009

Usually they ask the Mother for the final say on the name anyway from what I have heard... but you need to come up with something you can both agree on.

Temp785382312506150 · September 2009

XXLAURAF:
Mikes_Wife06:

XXLAURAF:
wow...it is a horrible name not GAY...bc some women get so offended by a word...you can not state your opinion on this board for sh*t..bc other than answering a question people have to find something else to harp on..

You've just proven my point that you're an idiot.

o please...ur an idiot that u care so much to worry about my thoughts and comments....asking for helpful responses from people like you makes women not even want to share on here...would you like to name your son that name???

If anything you attempted to write there was decipherable, I might actually be offended. Sadly, I can't make heads or tails of anything you write. Try writing like an adult for once Confused

XXLAURAF · September 2009

Thanks...I told him I would use basically any other choice of his..I gave him my name choices and he just says nah we are using Clifton Aaron...end of discussion...and I can go on and annoy him about it everyday but I do not...so I am waiting a while and looking for helpful ideas from others..thanks for those who have gave me thoughtful insight...

XXLAURAF · September 2009

Mikes_Wife06:
XXLAURAF:
Mikes_Wife06:

XXLAURAF:
wow...it is a horrible name not GAY...bc some women get so offended by a word...you can not state your opinion on this board for sh*t..bc other than answering a question people have to find something else to harp on..

You've just proven my point that you're an idiot.

o please...ur an idiot that u care so much to worry about my thoughts and comments....asking for helpful responses from people like you makes women not even want to share on here...would you like to name your son that name???

If anything you attempted to write there was decipherable, I might actually be offended. Sadly, I can't make heads or tails of anything you write. Try writing like an adult for once

What can you not decipher you bimbo? ur = you are (that's all that was not fully written out..) good bye...xoxoxo

epphd · September 2009

Mikes_Wife06:

XXLAURAF:
wow...it is a horrible name not GAY...bc some women get so offended by a word...you can not state your opinion on this board for sh*t..bc other than answering a question people have to find something else to harp on..

You've just proven my point that you're an idiot.

Yes

I haven't even looked at your bio but I'm going to bet $10 that you're a beebee.

Temp785382312506150 · September 2009

XXLAURAF:
Mikes_Wife06:
XXLAURAF:
Mikes_Wife06:

XXLAURAF:
wow...it is a horrible name not GAY...bc some women get so offended by a word...you can not state your opinion on this board for sh*t..bc other than answering a question people have to find something else to harp on..

You've just proven my point that you're an idiot.

o please...ur an idiot that u care so much to worry about my thoughts and comments....asking for helpful responses from people like you makes women not even want to share on here...would you like to name your son that name???

If anything you attempted to write there was decipherable, I might actually be offended. Sadly, I can't make heads or tails of anything you write. Try writing like an adult for once

What can you not decipher you bimbo? ur = you are (that's all that was not fully written out..) good bye...xoxoxo

LoL

duchessII81 · September 2009

Awesome.

naflmj · September 2009

I get that you are mad, but his name is "gay"...can you not find a better descriptor. I love Justin.

ach99 · September 2009

Ummm. Gay. Really.

RickeyandDani · September 2009

Ok as immature as her responses can be, some of you are so freakin ridiculously "PC" about it all. You KNOW what she meant by "gay". Sometimes some of you act all "Mother Teresa" like you never do any harm and are the "perfect little pregnant angels". Give me an effin break.

Maybe you can't relate to the way her DH is acting, so you can't have any empathy for her. She should be able to come in here and vent just like the rest of you. And quite honestly her vent is a lot more legitimate then others I read in here. Maybe she didn't express herself as mature as some others, but so what?

Give her a break. Maybe she's really young and immature. Maybe she grew up in an environment where using the word "gay" like this is acceptable for this example. I have gay friends and even someone gay in my family, but I'm not going to get all butthurt because she said a name was "gay". This society has gotten too damn PC. Grrrrrrrrrrrr

ahappygilmore · September 2009

Indifferent

did you really just call a name gay? really? really??????? I hope you are not over the age of 16.

MrsV2005 · September 2009

RickeyandDani:

Ok as immature as her responses can be, some of you are so freakin ridiculously "PC" about it all. You KNOW what she meant by "gay". Sometimes some of you act all "Mother Teresa" like you never do any harm and are the "perfect little pregnant angels". Give me an effin break.

Maybe you can't relate to the way her DH is acting, so you can't have any empathy for her. She should be able to come in here and vent just like the rest of you. And quite honestly her vent is a lot more legitimate then others I read in here. Maybe she didn't express herself as mature as some others, but so what?

Give her a break. Maybe she's really young and immature. Maybe she grew up in an environment where using the word "gay" like this is acceptable for this example. I have gay friends and even someone gay in my family, but I'm not going to get all butthurt because she said a name was "gay". This society has gotten too damn PC. Grrrrrrrrrrrr

FWIW - I haven't responded because of her use of IM language, not so much because she kept using the word "gay". And then she went ahead and called someone a bimbo.

The point is her communication skills are lacking, and she might have better luck on the subject if she had more of a valid argument than "but that's not what I want. waaaahhh"

epphd · September 2009

Actually the scariest part of this entire post is not the use of the word "gay" as a descriptor, but that the OP is a teacher. Holy god. I think I may home school.

Desmond&MollyJones · September 2009

XXLAURAF:
wow...it is a horrible name not GAY...bc some women get so offended by a word...you can not state your opinion on this board for sh*t..bc other than answering a question people have to find something else to harp on..

Holy crap, you cannot be serious.

I fear for the next generation when there are people like you raising children.

Scooter359 · September 2009

Hmm...well first dont let your reason to DH be "its gay" thats not really a good point to make to someone who has that name...nor that it doesnt fit your nationalities, I didnt think there were nationality boundries.

Ive known a few "Clifton"s and usually they go by Cliff, ive seen nothing wrong with it. What about using Aaron as the first name? Or you can just use the initials C.A. Also, I dont think its really needed to have a child friendly name because they are only children for a short period of time.

What SO and I did was each make a list of 3 names, we each got one veto and then we decided from there.

Also, I did find it a bit funny calling someone a bimbo when they are the one using things like "ur" ... Huh? I never understood the need to use internet shorthand.

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Vent!! help please...boy name..fighting with hubby

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