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Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
MSC03
member
*deep breath* Introduction
MSC03
member
Hi all.
Never thought I'd be here (or at least, hoped I wouldn't be) but here I am. Today we went in for our big u/s and they discovered that the baby has no amniotic fluid, no kidneys, no bladder, etc. Essentially almost no organs in it's abdomen.
Apparently this happens to like 1/6,000 people and I was the unlucky one this go-round. Nothing that could be prevented and nothing can be done. We'll be talking to a doctor about delivery options.
Has anyone had labor at 20+ weeks? What should I expect as far as how long it'll take to be induced? Recovery time? Length of time before TTC?
I know I'll have to ask the doctor these questions tomorrow, but I was hoping for some advice and kind words.
xoxo,
MSC
This discussion has been closed.
Re: *deep breath* Introduction
Hi MSC,
I'm so sorry. I can't offer any help bc my baby was stillborn but wanted to send you positive thoughts.
From my experience, I would ask
1) if they can get the baby's footprints, pictures, etc. It's hard to think of those things and you may think you won't want them, but you may one day in the future. The pics of my daughter are priceless for us at least.
2) I would also ask what is the protocol for taking care of the baby. Do you need to take contact a funeral home, etc? Or does the hospital take care of this? This varies by state and by baby gestation. Also, do you have a say? For example - in the state we delivered, I know prior to a certain gestation, the hospital takes care of everything unless you want to use a funeral home. After that age, the parents must make all arrangements. I know we had to make the arrangements bc we were 36weeks.
3) What testing is offered for both baby and mom to determine cause? Is it required? We declined an autopsy but the placenta was sent for pathology for example.
You & the baby will be in my prayers.
Thanks, lewis. Those questions are super helpful.
If anyone else has some to add, I'd love to hear them. I just can't even think right now.
OMG! I am very sorry.
MSC-
So incredibly sorry for your loss, my heart just aches for you and DH. Please know you are in my thoughts tonight. . . .I'm so sorry you've had to join us.
Hugs from miles away.
I just want to say how incredibly sorry I am... my heart breaks for you...
((((((((HUGS))))))))))
My loss was early, so I have no advice. But know that I am thinking of you right now & grieving with you. I'm so sorry.
Hey MSC,
I am so sorry this happened to you. I never dreamed you would be over here either. *hugs* I don't know what to say, but I just wanted to show my support.
I am so very sorry that this is happening to you and your baby. Somebody else on here had a late loss that they knew was going to happen before it did a little while back. Here's the post that I think will help you a lot: https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/20659750.aspx#backToTopAnchor
As far as the induction process this early, I really don't know. I went into labor on my own. It took about 34 hours before I gave birth. It was very painful and I wasn't ashamed to use any and all pain meds they gave me or offered me. There's enough pain in losing a baby to have to deal with the pain of labor and birth on top of everything.
I went into the hospital on a Saturday morning at about 5am after being in labor since about 6 or 7 the night before. I gave birth vaginally on Sunday morning at 4:16 and 4:44 and was out of the hospital by about noon. They would have kept me overnight if I wanted to stay, but we decided we'd rather be at home. The physical recovery wasn't too horrible. The worst thing for me was the breast engorgement. I also was pretty sore from the birth, but that went away within a couple days. I was very anemic after, so that affected me a bit, but all in all the physical recovery is not that bad with a baby that's born in the early 20 weeks gestation (at least for me). The emotional recovery is another story though.
When to start ttc again is one of the favorite topics on here. I think most doctors say either 2-3 cycles or like mine did, about 3 months. My obs reasoning is to let 3 months of pnvs build up for a new baby. I continued to spot after delivery for about 5 weeks and just now at 8w2d pp got my first af. I think I'm about average with regards to those two things.
Again, I'm so sorry for your loss and I'll be thinking of you and your DH. You came to a great place to mourn your loss - the people here are really wonderful. Please let me know if you have any other questions, concerns or anything - you can pm me anytime. ((((big hugs)))))
My heart breaks for you and your family. ((((HUGS))))) I lost my Cate at 19 weeks and my Cole at 17 weeks. It took me about 10 weeks to start feeling better physically but I had a D & C and complications after Cate was born so I am sure that is why it took so long. We are adopting so I can't help you the timing of TTC process. My big advice is take a lot of pictures. One day you will be glad you did. Take photos of feet, and hands, toes, and fingers. Take photos of you holding her & loving on her. Keep the blanket and hat. The smell of those helps me on the darkest days. If you ever want to talk email me at nicole dot nicholas at gmail.com or visit my blog at https://lovelosshope.blogspot.com/
Many loves and hugs to you,
Nicole
I delivered at 23 w 5d on August 14th of this year after an induction... I would be more than happy to chat with you about what I experienced and give you some suggestions. If you are wanting to do so- please PM me...
GL!
Thing 2 = May 2009, Stillborn 33weeks 4lbs 9oz 18in
Thing 3 = October 2010, 27weeks 4days 2lbs 4oz 14.25in
As weird as this sounds, it's good to see a familiar face.
*shakes head* Can you fvcking believe this?
YGPM.
Thank you so, so much!!
First off, I am incredibly sorry for your loss. It is absolutely devastating to lose a child. I have been lurking some on various grief/loss boards but feel compelled to share my story with you since it is so fresh. Sorry if it's a long reply.
I received the horrible news at our "big" ultrasound that our son had a severe brain condition that was not compatible with life. At 22w4d, last Thursday, I was induced at the hospital after it was discovered that he was no longer with us. To induce, they inserted two misoprostol tabs behind my cervix every 4 hours. I would say a couple of hours after the first dosage of misoprostol, I started to cramp pretty bad and requested an epidural. They were pretty generous with the pain meds to ensure that I felt as little physical pain as possible.
It took 14 hours before I was fully dilated and delivery was so fast that I hardly remember it. At such an early gestational age, the baby was so small that I only felt a slight pressure when he was delivered.
After the nurses cleaned him, we held him for a few precious hours, took tons of pictures and had our pastor baptize him. He was 12.6in, 1lb8oz.
As far as recovery, I stayed in the hospital for 24hrs after delivery. A little soreness but nothing some ibuprofen couldn't help. The worst part (physically) for me was when my milk came in two days later. The engorgement is pretty painful but subsides in a couple of days. We are meeting with my OB tomorrow to discuss TTC in the future.
Once again, I am so very sorry for your loss. No one should ever have to go through this.
i delivered wyatt at 32w3d. i went into labor spontaneously while at the hospital. i was admitted due to very, very low amniotic fluid, essentially none. i went all the way to 10cm dilated w/ nothing, not even a tylenol. hopefully since your labor is induced you'll have an epidural and no pain. i had to have an emergency c/s since wyatt was breech and i went to fully dilated so fast. and the recovery time from that was about 4wks till i felt somewhat normal again but if you have a vaginal delivery recovery should be faster and easier. at least that's been my experience.
as for emotional recovery and healing it will all take time.
i was told to wait 1yr to TTC however at my PP checkup i said i wanted to try in 6mo and my ob was fine w/ that. however i'm meeting w/ a new ob to try for a vbac next time and i'd like to discuss trying in 4mo instead. we'll see...
i'm so sorry for you loss and feel free to pm if you'd like to talk. i can completely understand your shock since i went thru something similar.
11-15-08
12-1-10
I am truly sorry for the loss of your little one.
We have pretty similar stories. I went in for my big U/S at just around 20 weeks and found out that the baby had no amniotic fluid, the kidneys had not formed properly, and there was a hole in her abdomen.
I was given the drug Misoprostol to help start the process of labor. I took 4 pills total in the matter of half a day the day before I was admitted into the hospital. While in the hospital, they administered more of the medicine. Total from when I took the first pills to when I delivered was about a day and a half. If they offer an epidural I would recommend taking it.
As far as recovery is concerned, I was bleeding off and on for a little over 2 weeks before it stopped. AF returned at about 5 weeks after my loss. My doctor gave me the green light to start again in about 2-3 months. So, not as bad as I thought it would turn out to be even though the circumstances still really, really suck.
Feel free to PM me if you have any more questions and I will try my best to answer them for you.
Once again, I am so sorry. I hope your road to recovery is a smooth one.
I am so so sorry for your loss. The other ladies here will have more advice for you as far as an induction and delivery. I was 41 weeks and I chose to have a c/section under general anesthesia b/c that was all I felt I could handle emotionally.
I've seen some people go back to work after 2 weeks and some decide to take their entire 6 weeks they're allowed by maternity leave rules (who were 20 weeks +/-). It's whatever YOU want at this point. Be selfish and take time for yourself to heal regardless of what anyone else tells you.
Your dr will probably tell you to wait a cycle or 2 but it depends again on what you and your H want to handle emotionally. We HAVE to wait another 2 months simply b/c I had a c/s but we won't be ready at that point.
Take care and we're all here for you.
BFP #2 10/29/08 ...stillborn via c/s @41w 7/20/09
missing my baby everyday
BFP #3 1/20/10 My angel's little sister Grace Madison was born September 8th 2010 @37w. We're so blessed! Thank you angel for getting her here safely.
BFP #4 12/30/11. Jackson Christopher 8/22/2012 via repeat c/s @ 37w 3d
Mrs. MCS! Suck balls! I'm so sorry to see you over here. I remember you from the GP boards. I was a big time lurker so my sn might not be familiar but you always cracked me up. Again, I'm so, so sorry you're here. Life just sucks sometimes.
Wish I could be more helpful but glad several other 20+ weekers replied.
I am so sorry you are going through this!! I remember you from the tri boards and I am so sorry to see you here.
WARNING: This is probably TMI
I delivered my daughter on Aug 15th of this year, she measured 16w 4d but I was supposed to be 19w when I delivered. I was admitted to the hospital for induction around 9am on the 14th, they gave me cytotec around 10:30 am, 4 pm, 10 pm and 2am. I was also offered pain meds when needed and they were needed. At about 1 am on the 15th they added a morphine pump to my IV which helped but I was still in pain. My water broke around 3:30 am and after that I felt much better, no more pain or cramps. I finally got some sleep and in the morning my nurse came in and said my Dr. wanted to give me another dose of cytotec but I told her I didn't think I needed it and that it felt like something was ready to come out. Luckily my Dr. walk in right after that and I told her it felt like when you have a tampon in and it's not in right or it's coming out, she said that was the baby and we delivered at 7:20 am. I pushed a couple of times nothing very hard and everything came out fine. So I did not have to have a D&C after. No pain after just a lot of bleeding. I was released that day at 1 pm. I have had very little cramping but I am still bleeding. My Dr. released me back to work a week after I delivered.
We did see the baby and held her briefly and I definitely recommend this. We did not take our own pictures but the hospital took some and gave us one for our memory box. We asked for foot prints but they said she was just too tiny to get any. We had the option to contact a funeral home for a burial or cremation or we could have the hospital cremate her. We chose to have the hospital do it, they use a local Church for a burial and the parents/families are invited.
Email me if you would like more info or if you would like to talk jettaky15 @ aol. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Thanks everyone for your condolences and for sharing your stories. It really helped me to get a clearer picture of what we're going to experience.
The induction is scheduled for tomorrow at noon. I'll probably check in later this weekend.