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2nd Trimester
Not happy that I'm having a boy
Yesterday I had my ultrasound and I found out that I'm having a boy but I'm not happy because I wanted a girl so badly.I keep telling myself that It just wasn't meant to be and I should be happy regardless of what the sex is as long as the baby is healthy and I really hate myself for feeling this way.
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Re: Not happy that I'm having a boy
Owen- April 2011
Olivia- Due December 24th
Give yourself some time to get used to the idea. I'm sure you'll get excited about him eventually, and won't be able to imagine if he had been a she.
We're having a boy, which is what I wanted, but I would have felt the same way if we ended up with a girl.
While I wanted a girl first, I am thrilled to be having Henry. Little boys are so much fun! I can't even imagine having a girl anymore...I am all about my little man!
Be thankful your LO is healthy. There was just someone on here who had to make the decision to let her baby go to heaven. I am sure she wouldn't have cared what sex she was having as long as she could've had a healthy baby.
I think these feelings are fairly normal. Give yourself some time to get used to the idea. I promise, baby boys are really amazing and wonderful.
That said, there are some "feelings" that we really should keep to ourselves. I think that in certain cases, giving a voice to thoughts we know are wrong only feeds into the cycle, rather than helps us break out of it. You already posted this, so you can't take it back, but if I were you I would make a real effort to keep this to myself from now on. Don't talk to your husband/mom/sisters/friends about it. I really think it will help you move on more quickly.
GL.
Just happened to check this board... I just wanted to say since you just found out yesterday, give yourself time. We obviously all want happy, healthy little babies but many moms will tell you they had a preference before their baby was born. You're just being honest with yourself and it doesn't mean that when you get that little sweet bundle of baby boy in your arms you will love him any less than if he were a girl. You will fall in love. I know, I have a little boy too.
Totally normal! When I had my unltrasound with DS I cried because I was so upset about having a boy. You will be excited about it later, don't stress about it
Oh and I got to have 2 back-to-back girls next. You will probably get your girls!
Ditto this exactly. When I was pregnant with DD, I wanted a girl so bad that I know I would have been disappointed otherwise. This time, I don't care quite so much bc I got my girl and now it is God's hands what I have. What ever happens it what is meant to be. You will love having a boy, I promise...
You will get over it and start to get excited about having a little boy, it just takes some time. I was the same way (even tho they could only guess that DD was a girl). Now that she is here I...LOVE her to death and can't imagine my life without her. She is awesome and pretty much tougher than any little boy we have come across. I'm not a girly girl...so I was worried that I would have to dress her in frilly stuff - but I have found her awesome clothes that are girly but not over the top. Def jealous that you are having a boy.
Good luck and you will have lots of fun with him.
Have you spent any time with teenage girls? Really, I would not wish that on anyone. Boys are a little nuts the first 10 years, but you will be so happy after that.
There are pros and cons to both, but just try to think about the pros and you will perk up!
I'm not going to lie- I was pretty disappointed when they told DH & I our LO was a boy. ?That a month ago, and now I can't imagine him being a girl!
Give it time. ?You will get used to it, and after a while you will feel silly for thinking this way (I know I did....)
I can honestly see why you feel that way. Sometimes I think we have the "perfect" image in our mind - including gender. The kicker is that we don't always know what's best.
I was so sure that DS2 would be a girl at that 1st u/s because the pregnancy felt completely different. I have 3 boys now and it's awesome. Boys (IMO) really are easier than girls, even when I was a single mom. I can't imagine having a girl -- they are all so perfect together.
We had our u/s this week and the tech thinks it's another boy. Granted, we wanted one of each sex (for DH & I together) but it would have been really nice to have a girl to play with. Ah, maybe next time. Otherwise, I'll have a baseball team
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Newly engaged and TTC
I felt the same way at first when I found out that I was having a boy...my whole life I had just kind of figured I'd have a girl first. It is a surprise and takes a little while to get used to it if you have your mind set on a girl. I saw a newborn pink tutu at BRU and lost it. I cried, no bawled, my eyes out and DH was there to support me the whole way...I wasn't sad that my LO is a boy but I just needed to get used to the fact that my "plan" had changed. It only took me a few days but I got over myself and now cant wait for my little man!
It really helped to cry/talk it out with DH. If your SO is in the picture hopefully he will be as supportive as mine and just be there for you while you work things out.
Of course we are all happy that we are having healthy babies, but its notmal to be disapointed if you were really counting on the opposite....with my son I was disapointed at first as well, but I wouldn't give him back for the world!!!
This time we are having a girl when I thought for sure I was destened for all boys : ) and I am terrified of a girl now, my little boy has been pretty easy...and seeing all the teen girls terrifies me, I keep having nightmares she is going to hate me : ) LOL
I had a few days after finding out when I felt like that. In all of my mental images of being a parent I always imagined myself having girls. I think because I'm so close to my mom and don't really have that special relationship with my Dad it felt like a loss somehow, like I wouldn't be able to have that special bond with my child. I cried a lot. I kept seeing families with little girls and I'd get all weepy. It was a weird couple of days and I really hated myself for feeling like that.
Luckily my nephews were in town for 2 weeks after that and I got to spend a lot of time with them and it just reinforced in my mind what blessings little boys are. And contrary to what I thought before I actually have a lot more experience around little boys than little girls.
I also talked to my good friend and my DH about how I was feeling and they brought up a lot of good points and gave me more perspective. Talking to them about the relationships both of their brothers share with their moms made me realize that of course, either parent can have a close relationship with their child.
A lot of people will just say suck it up and be glad your baby is healthy. Ultimately I think that's good advice, but I also think it's OK to acknowledge your feelings of wanting a girl. Let yourself have a little time to grieve. I think it's very likely that you will end up like I did, being thrilled to have a little boy on the way.
This.
I haven't read any of the replies but I can imagine on this board there are so me not so nice comments.
These are your feelings and you can't help them. I hope over time you are able to get past it so you can enjoy your pregnancy and your baby boy!!
My girlfriend was really bummed when she found out she was having a boy a few years ago. She was so convinced it was a girl. She also hated herself for feeling that way. She moved on from it quickly enough and loves her little boy more than anything.
I am having my second boy and we couldn't be more thrilled. This will likely be our last and I will admit I am a little down that I will never have a daughter. The thing is I really wanted my son to have a brother. I think I would have that twinge either way.
You aren't alone. I hope you find peace with it soon.
Not everyone is your SIL...just bc she is whacked out doesn't mean everyone else with slight disappointment is. Most people move on and love their children regardless. Get over yourself.
I was the same way, I found out I was having a boy and cried for 2 days straight. I was so convinced I was having a little girl, everyone in my family wanted me to have a little girl, so when I found out I felt I let everyone down. I honestly never thought I'd get over it. I really thought I wouldn't love a boy as much as I would have my girl when I first found out. I thought I'd be a horrible mother for him because hes not what I envisioned or wanted, and I felt guilty for feeling being so upset because he was healthy. However, I am getting over it and am excited again about being pregnant, and I know I will give my little boy all the love I can. The feeling is horrible, but it gets better with each day. Just know that it is ok to feel that way and don't listen to people who will make you feel worse about feeling that way, and that it will most likely get better.
I really want a girl too and so does my husband...But I guarantee we will have a boy just bc we want a girl, he says the same thing...
I guess you just have to get over it and be happy you are having a baby at all, and a healthy one. that is what I will tell myself.. Good Luck
You will get over feeling this way. I have 2 boys and one on the way and when I say they adore me!!!!
I thought this last one might be a girl but when it turned out to be a boy I was actually relieved. I wouldn't know what to do with a little girl.
Boys are fun and fearless...and so durn cute! Enjoy your healthy baby that GOD has blessed you to take care of.