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2nd Trimester
LuckyBride06
member
You know what's really upsetting me today...
LuckyBride06
member
I'm probably being way over-sensitive...but I'm allowed to be every once in a while!
My family and my DH's family keep saying to us - "I hope you're having a girl"..."there are too many boys in the family, I hope it's a girl". It's really upsetting because... what if it's a boy?! Will they not be happy?!
I know they will be thrilled no matter what it is and they'll love him/her unconditionally, but I really want them to stop saying that b/c I know if it's a boy way way deep down inside they'll be a little disappointed. That makes me upset.
DH and I will be happy with either. It's a first, we plan to have more kids so there's still have time to have more boys or girls. I keep telling them that I think it's a boy to get them to stop, but they aren't. I don't mean to make them sound like horrible people, I know they'll be
so happy no matter what. They're so so excited and happy for this baby. And I know they don't mean to hurt my feelings, but it does. I can't help it.
Does anyone feel the same? I feel better now that I vented a little.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: You know what's really upsetting me today...
Definitely! This will be the last grandchild for BOTH families...and all of the others are boys. My whole family is really hoping for a girl.
I try not to let it get to me...they will love the baby no matter what.
Everyone was hoping I'd have a girl too, and I got a couple "oh I kinda hoped it'd be a girl" comments after we found out it was boy #2. I did have irrational twinges of "well it's NOT so screw you!" (especially irrational considering I was pulling for a girl too, lol) but I know they all meant well and are totally excited about the baby regardless of its gender anyway.
Try not to take it to heart, I know it's hard not to feel "protective" of the baby though
Im in the same situtation. My Dads family hasnt had a girl in over 15 years and my mom's family hasnt had a girl in over 12 years. Everyone keeps telling me I'm going to have a girl. I know they'll love the baby no matter what it is but still, it worries me that they'll be a little disappointed and that I'll be disappointed because everyone else is.
I guess there's nothing that we can really do about it. which SUCKS!
This is why we are not finding out till we're in the delivery room! In our minds as long as our LO is healthy with 10 fingers, 10 toes and all the other bits in the right place, we don't care if it's a boy or a girl!
On the other hand we are not finding out just to really annoy our entire family and our friends who need to co-ordinate baby clothes...mwwwahahahaha!
My family has been saying the same thing, that they hope we are having a girl. They have been thoughtful to include disclaimers to say that they will love another boy too but their obvious preference is for a girl.
I'm sure your family will be so excited to have another baby around when the time comes that the gender won't matter. But I do understand why it may be hurtful now. I'm sure they don't mean any harm by their comments.
I heard this ALL the time (except for a boy) from EVERYONE!!!
We have 2 girls, and before the big u/s everyone (even the effing lunch ladies) were telling me ... this one better be a boy, 3 girls would be horrible. My own GRANDMOTHER told me that if I had another girl that God was cursing me because only boys are blessings. She's a peach.
We didn't tell anyone we were finding out the gender b/c we were sick of the comments. Now that we know he's a boy, it's easier. But, seriously, people need to back up - it's not their baby!
What a lovely lady!
I feel the exact same way with DH's family. My MIL only had boys so she really, really wanted a girl for a grandchild. They stayed with us one weekend and she would only discuss the baby being a girl (as in she was trying to come up with girl names and picking out girl clothing).
Well we found out last week Tuesday that we are having a boy. I have told my mom, but we haven't told DH's family yet. I don't want to be the one to tell them because I don't want to hear that they are disappointed. I keep telling DH that he needs to tell them, but he keeps putting it off so I assume that he doesn't want to be the one to tell them either. I just feel like they aren't going to be as excited because it is just another boy.
I told them repeatedly that I thought we were going to have a boy to prepare them, but they wouldn't even listen. I also keep telling them that we are planning on having 2 kids and I already feel like they will both be boys.
I am going through this same thing with my side of the family. The girls are by far out numbered by all the boys and everytime I see anyone from my family all I hear is "I hope it's a girl! We NEED more girls!".
Ugh. DH and I are hoping for a boy, but we would also be very happy with a girl. Let's just let nature decide and stop pestering us!
I actually had an issue with my MIL keep telling us that she wanted us to have a boy because boys are better. She kept calling my baby belly "Junior" and told everyone else to do the same so it would come true. It almost made having a boy not appealing to me because I did not want to give in to her way! Obviously I am very happy that I am now having a boy, but was very annoyed with her from the beginning.
My husband and I actually had to go back and tell her not to call my stomach Junior anymore and to not discuss a preference especially if we end up with the opposite I didn't want to feel like she wasn't happy.
She kept discussing it with my BIL, saying "I really hope it isn't a girl" and he even had to step in and tell her to stop that s**t! Which helped out some! You just have to stand up and set boundaries with them and tell them to be happy either way, and if not to keep it to themselves! Good luck!
A couple of my friends said they really hoped I was having a girl because they were way more fun....so then I felt like I was letting them down when we discovered he's a boy...One of them even said, "I just can't really picture you with a boy," after I told her the news. Sucky comment!!