Parenting

Spanking for not going potty. Discuss.

DandR here ya go. ?Lame, but it's all I got.

DH & some guy at his work were talking about their kids, and RG (random guy) mentions that they spank their kids if they have an accident, if they sit on the potty and don't go, if they say they have to go and can't.... basically if they don't pee & poo on command, they get spanked.

3 days later RG mentions he had a rough night. ?DH asks why. ?RG and his wife let their 3 kids cry themselves to sleep every single night, and it's been over a year, it's nightly, and it's more than an hour every time, for all the kids. ?(guessing at ages here, but around 1, 3 & 4??)

DH "dude, do you ever just go in & comfort them or see what's up?" ?RG "no, what else are we supposed to do? We shut the door & leave" and then told DH how much he hates doing it. ? DH actually came home and told me he really can't talk to the guy about the kids anymore, he just can't do it.

Re: Spanking for not going potty. Discuss.

  • Indifferent and Tongue Tied and even Ick!
    Kill all my demons and my angels might die too. -Tennessee Williams

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  • Wow. This just made me really sad.
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    Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
    "Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
  • F*CKING HELL! 
    Valerie ~Charlotte Adele 4.26.05~ ~Audrey Irene 12.19.2006~
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  • Whoa. I'm not anti spanking, but that is crossing the line. Poor babies.
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  • Those poor babies - I wouldn't talk to him anymore either
    Audrey Elizabeth 11-11-06 image
  • wow.  You would think after 3 kids they might have some idea what to do.
  • I am not anti-CIO, but that is just wrong.  And really, really sad.
  • Well, that's some quality parenting.

    I think what amazes me is that since there is SO much information out there - seriously all you have to do is a small search - that people still think this is a worthwhile way to parent.

    It's one thing to hear these types of things taking place 25 years ago; it's another when there is so much out there to help parents.  Books, websites, etc.

    It's like willful ignorance - which in turn says they really don't care about figuring out what works for their kids.  Sad.

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  • imageBubblyToes:
    Indifferent and Tongue Tied and even Ick!

    Um, yeah, this. Yet another reason why people should be forced to get a license before breeding.?

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  • Honestly, it sounds like he's trying to raise automatons, not kids. Does HE go to the bathroom on command? Only at scheduled times during the day? The whole idea is so assinine that it would be laughable if it weren't for the effect their behavior is having on their poor kids. Ugh, those poor children.
    imageimage
    Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
    "Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
  • yeah, CIO and spanking opinions aside, that's just not right. ?I asked DH if he thought RG would be up for a talk about other ideas on how to deal with, well, any of it really. ?DH said he's not sure if he can talk to him about it anymore without shaking him first. ?We'll see if it comes up again, DH might try.
  • imageeclaires:

    Well, that's some quality parenting.

    I think what amazes me is that since there is SO much information out there - seriously all you have to do is a small search - that people still think this is a worthwhile way to parent.

    It's one thing to hear these types of things taking place 25 years ago; it's another when there is so much out there to help parents.  Books, websites, etc.

    It's like willful ignorance - which in turn says they really don't care about figuring out what works for their kids.  Sad.

    Exactly.  I'm sure this would be overstepping some boundaries, but I would give the guy some books or something.  I don't think if I knew anyone who was doing that to their kids that I could let it go.  I would feel like the person who saw an accident and didnt' stop to help.  Does your dh know him well enough to do something like give him a book? 

    Valerie ~Charlotte Adele 4.26.05~ ~Audrey Irene 12.19.2006~
    image
  • ZenyaZenya member

    Unfortunately there are many people who think letting child cry for an hour or more is a normal thing  (they are learning to self soothe!). It's very sad.


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  • It sounds like the guy does feel bad about it....at least a little. Maybe your DH can start sharing his own parenting experiences and see if the guy is open to talking about it or taking suggestions.

    6 year old daughter

    Fraternal boys born on May 11, 2013 at 36 weeks 4 days

  • Um, yikes. Poor kids. The spanking for potty issues is appalling.
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