Work and RE appointments

saverchic · May 2009

How do you guys get to your RE appointments without totally irritating your bosses and co-workers? I'm having a lot of trouble with this. I'm a teacher, so I can't just leave for an hour. I have to get a sub to cover my class, and I can only do this in half-day increments.

I finally broke down and told one of my co-workers that I was going to RE appointments. The others don't know, and keep asking me if I'm okay. They're being really nosy/nice. I don't think I'll get in trouble, because I'm using my own sick days. I just don't know what to do about the co-workers I'd rather not explain all of my fertility woes to.

The culture of my school is very work-a-holic and teachers are pretty competitive and, unfortunately, quick to tear each other down. I've been careful to stay away from the gossips and drama, but it bothers me that others are speculating about why I'm taking time off. I guess I should just try my best to ignore it and keep my eye on the prize. It's hard though! What do you guys do?

Kittycat196 · May 2009

What time do you have to be at work? My Re office has early morning appts starting at 6am. They want you to come in for all blood work and ultrasounds between 6-9 am. They are also open on weekends.

The iui's were a little later but I just ended up being an hour late for work. It doesn't matter if I am late at my job I do admin work but I can see it would be difficult for you.

CharBart · May 2009

I have a semi flexible schedule...and at first I just told my closest co-worker what really was going on, and I told my boss that I had doctor appts and that I was OK but I had something important to take care of. Now pretty much my peer group and my boss know what is going on...we are a close group though and some have IF issues of their own so I know they understand. I really believe that your immediate supervisor should know at least the basics...I think it would make it an easier time for you. Also, they could squelch any "gossip" or drama that might come out of it.

But at the end of the day it is a personal decision on what you feel comfortable telling them. Do remember the FMLA and you may want to at least tell your HR...(schools have these, right???) so that if any issues arise from time you take off you know you covered your bases.

whew...sorry that was long

saverchic · May 2009

We do have an HR department for our school district. Does FMLA include fertility issues? I would breathe a huge sigh of relief it it did.

My principal is probably my immediate supervisor. I'm not sure if I should tell her or not. I might try talking to one of the more senior teachers in the building and ask them what they think I should do.

My doctor has appointments starting at 7:15 and school starts at 8:25. I usually have kids in my room as early as 7:45. If I can get one of the earliest appointments, it works out all right. On days when I have to go in later, it's a lot harder.

Thank you for your advice!!

indianasunshine · May 2009

I don't have to be to work until 9, but I finally broke down and told my boss what was going on. ?I really was paranoid that I was going to lose my job if I kept trying to stay under the radar. ?Fortunately for me (not for her) she had been through fertility treatments and was completely understanding. ?Two days before my ET my boss was out for a funeral, and I had to go to the BIG boss and confess everything to get the time off. ?He was amazing as well. ?It was a huge relief. ?I agree that if no one else, you should talk to HR. They are not allowed to tell anyone anything, especially when it comes to your health. ?Good luck!

NowDNAtoo · May 2009

I was a teacher when I was going to all my RE appts. I told my AP (assistant principal) everything that was going on. I'm not sure if she told my principal or not, but I really didn't feel as comfortable telling her and our AP is also the one who sometimes dealt with class coverage issues and not the Principal. Majority of the time the appts were able to be first thing and my AP had an IA (Instructional Assistant) cover my class as the students came in and got them started with the day. It helped that we usually also had our specials (PE, Music, Art) first thing.

I only told my best friend/coworker what was going on. A few teachers (after I was out a bunch of mornings) asked if everything was okay, but they didn't pry when I said yes. I think after I turned up pg some of them kind of figured out why I was coming in late.

CharBart · May 2009

saverchic:

We do have an HR department for our school district. Does FMLA include fertility issues? I would breathe a huge sigh of relief it it did.

I am assuming it would...haven't looked into it yet...but I would think we do have some rights since what we are going through is defintely medical.

I will ask my HR if she knows anything about it tomorrow and let you know.

LizzyB11 · May 2009

I teach too, and have been pretty lucky. I've gotten the blood tests, etc. run on weekends and before school. I have taken several days and 1/2 days this year, though. I have told my team what's going on, and they've been great. Others just get told that I have an appointment. Sometimes I make things up (dentist appointment, screw up on calendar at the dentist/need to go again) so that they don't feel like they need to be nosy and ask why I'm out. People seriously notice when the teacher's not there, and it's a pain to be absent!

leslieb923 · May 2009

Well, I got laid off a few months ago, so I no longer have to worry about this! ?But when I was working, I had flex time and was able to go to really early appts (like 7am) and still get to work before 1/2 of my department did! My Supervisor was really nice about it....one day I blurted to her what was going on and she was extremely supportive. ?

I had a few nosey co workers though and if I was MIA in the middle of the day I said I had to take my parents to the dr or something. ?(they are a little older) ?Not sure if they bought the story or not.?

?

Calips · May 2009

I did early morning appts although I start at 9 so early for me was 7 or 7:30. My RE offered as early as 6 also I believe.

Nuit · May 2009

I am also a teacher, and I have the same issue! Work starts at 7:45, but luckily this year I've had a first period conference so I've tried to schedule all my appointments at 7:00 or 7:15, which is the first appointment of the day. The secretary who does the HR at my school (well, the paychecks, anyway) knows what's going on and I always give her updates. I'm not sure if she's cool with it but she hasn't given me any hassles, other than asking all the time if I'm PG or not. Which is REALLY annoying. I don't know why my OBGYN isn't open earlier or later! They close at 3, so an after school appointment is not possible. Anyway, I just wanted to put my 2 cents in to let you know I understand!

rsrn02 · May 2009

saver. i was wondering the same thing. i'm a nurse so i start work at 7am on the dot. actually i have to arrive a few minutes early to get started and get report.

i hope when we get as far as IUI, the appts fall on days that i'm off otherwise i will have to be using FMLA.

shyntrue · May 2009

I was in HR. I'm pretty sure it is covered under FMLA. And, it is true that when you tell your higher up, they aren't allowed to discuss it with anyone else (except HR) under the HIPPA rules. I would still make it clear that you don't want everyone to know.....

saverchic · May 2009

I think I'm going to have to tell my principal. How awkward!!!

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